Fragments of Naruto
by I.K.A. Valian
Summary: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. How many different realities exist because of this fundamental rule? A depository for multiple Naruto stories and concepts that I've had on the back burner but have no time to flesh out. Come read a few and see what wonders there are to find!
1. A Touch of Death 1

**A Touch of Death**

By: I.K.A. Valian

Chapter One: _Soul Blade_

* * *

Summary

Uzumaki Naruto was blessed three times the day he was born. His father blessed him with the power of human sacrifice. His mother blessed him with her love. The Shinigami blessed him with a shard of his own soul.

A Soul Blade.

* * *

"Stay away from the demon boy."

"Don't go near that monster."

"If you get near that cursed thing, you'll die."

"Why do they let something like him walk around freely?"

"How can the Hokage let that menace near our children?"

"It's a good thing he's such a loser, he has no chance to become a ninja."

"I hope they fail him, even if he could pass. Can you imagine something like that becoming a ninja?"

"Something like him… I can't understand how they let a de-"

"Quiet! Speaking of that forbidden."

A young blond boy's haunted, longing gaze watched the crowd of other children before him. As the blond slumped sideways on a rope swing, he gripped one of the rope supports with a deathlike grip while he watched. The blank gaze almost made it seem like he wanted to cry, but no tears came.

The crowd of children mixed and mingled with adults, parents and other important figures. The children all showed off their shiny forehead protectors. New, freshly made, never-before-experienced-death forehead protectors. The parents all ooh'ed and ahh'ed at their grinning children. This was the result of five years of hard study and work, after all. Everyone was proud of their children. Proud of the next generation of shinobi of the Leaf. Conversely, everyone was happy and proud that the 'Dead Last', 'Demon Boy', 'Monster', 'Blond Menace', 'Prankster King' Uzumaki Naruto had _not_ passed.

As Naruto sat on the swing, he watched the crowd and listened to the whispers of conversations. Many people were congratulating their kids on graduating. Many still were passing words of relief and barely contained spite for the blond. He couldn't hear it all, just the pieces that filtered through the wind to his ears. But he had heard it all before, so he could fill in the gaps.

"Hey."

Naruto looked up at the man that had appeared next to the swing. It was the silver-haired teacher named Mizuki. To Naruto, Mizuki had often given him the same cold looks that other villagers had given him, but not all the time. It had confused the boy, at first, but eventually he concluded that Mizuki must simply be trying to overcome whatever he felt to get to know the 'real' Naruto. During the test, even Iruka, supposedly one of the people who tried to be nice to him, had it out for him. Mizuki actually stood up for him, despite Iruka overruling the other man and failing Naruto anyway. That voice of support meant something to Naruto.

"Mizuki-sensei?"

"You do know Iruka wasn't trying to be mean earlier, right?" Mizuki asked. His expression seemed to be trying to convey his earnestness. Naruto simply shrugged in response. "He just doesn't want you to go out into the world unprepared. The life of a ninja is really hard." Seeing that his words were having little to no effect, Naruto continued to gaze blankly ahead of him, Mizuki changed tactics. "Like you, Iruka is an orphan. He's come to see you as something of a little brother, you know. If he let you graduate without being absolutely sure you could survive, you could die." Naruto glanced up at him with the curious look only young children can pull off convincingly. Mizuki smiled back. "I don't think he'd be able to forgive himself if that happened."

"Yeah…" Naruto looked down at the dirt and swiped his foot through the loose soil absentmindedly. There was a well worn rut in the ground where his foot had been swiping it for years now. "It's just… I really wanted to pass this time. You know?"

Naruto could feel Mizuki nodded in understanding, even if he couldn't see it. "I know exactly what you mean. I failed my Chunin Exam twice myself." Hearing this, Naruto turned to stare up at Mizuki with surprised shock. Mizuki nodded with a kind smile. "Yep, it's true. I really, _really_ wanted to be Chunin those first two times, but I failed then too. If I had known about the secret way of becoming Chunin the first time, I wouldn't have had to suffer being put into the hospital all those times from working so hard to win."

"You… wait? Secret way?" Naruto fully turned to face Mizuki, his face lighting up with an emotion that couldn't be quantified. Hope, desperation, and something in between. "There's a secret way to become a Chunin? Then maybe there's a secret way to become a Genin! You gotta-" Mizuki's eyes widened comically. He motioned for Naruto to follow him before he turned and walked away as fast as he could without making it seem like he was running. "Wait! Mizuki-sensei!"

Naruto hopped off of the swing and chased after his teacher. As soon as the two were out of earshot of the rest of his class, Mizuki smacked Naruto upside the head. "Dummy," Mizuki said. "Don't go shouting about secret things like that! They're called _secret_ for a reason!"

"Oh… Sorry," Naruto's shoulders slumped for half a second before he started shivering. He looked up at Mizuki with shaking clenched fists and bright eyed enthusiasm. "Mizuki-sensei! You gotta tell me about the secret way to become a Genin!"

"I don't know…" Mizuki muttered. He stood up taller and looked about the empty academy training yard. From the way that he looked like he was about to walk away again, Naruto felt his heart quicken. "I don't-"

"Please!" Naruto begged. "I'll do anything! Please! You just _gotta_ let me try!"

Mizuki sighed dramatically and slumped forward. "Alright. This isn't going to be as easy as the other test. If you tell anyone about this, even Iruka, then you won't just fail to become a Genin, you'll be kicked out of the academy and never have a chance to become a Ninja ever again."

Naruto's eyes hardened. "No way! I'll do it! No way I'll get caught!"

"Good," Mizuki said with an approving nod. "Here's what you gotta do…"

* * *

 _That night..._

"Naruto?" Naruto froze, feeling the blood drain from his head. He slowly turned around and found the Old Man Hokage standing there. He held a pipe in one hand and looked half asleep. It _was_ pretty late at night, though, so that wasn't too surprising. Not to mention, Naruto was in the man's home. With a curious glance at the scroll tied securely to Naruto's back, the old man asked, "What on earth are you doing in my home at this time of night?"

"Uh…" Naruto's voice shook but his resolve hardened. He quickly put his fingers into the appropriate hand-seal and shouted, "Take this, Sexy Jutsu!"

The ANBU standing guard outside only heard the Hokage scream, "Aaaaauuuuggghhh!" They'd been on the old leader's guard detail for weeks now and nothing out of the ordinary ever happened. They also didn't really need to guard inside the home, because honestly, anyone who went up against the Hokage, a man known as the _God of Shinobi,_ deserved the reprisal they received. When they arrived inside, they were stunned silent. They didn't know how they were supposed to react when they found their Hokage on the ground, unconscious, with blood streaming from his nose like a pair of broken faucets. Normally, they'd call a doctor, but the look of absolute happiness and pleasure on the old man's face made them wonder how he could have been defeated so. It was simply baffling to the poor, overworked ANBU. One of them eventually went for a doctor.

* * *

Naruto ran into the forest clearing. He slowed to a stop next to one of the trees and leaned against it as he heaved and gasped for air. Despite his labored breathing and the sweat sticking to his face and soaking his clothes, Naruto was grinning like a loon.

"I always knew that the Old Man was a pervert!" Naruto said. His labored breathing quickly vanished as his energy came back to him with a burst, just like always. As he pulled the scroll off of his back and laid it on the ground, he laughed insidiously. "The wrinkled old fart should just give me the hat now!"

Naruto looked at the scroll and figured he had to wipe blood across the big red seal to open it, just like Iruka had explained in class. He took out one of his kunai and cut his thumb. With a quick wipe, his blood was streaked across the seal on the scroll. Just as fast, the blood was sucked into the seal and the scroll loosened.

"Hah, nothing to it!" Naruto crowed triumphantly. He unrolled the scroll and started reading the first entry, which looked more like an item seal than anything else, if not much more elaborate than the one Iruka had them practice with in class. Unable to make heads or tails of the design, Naruto looked to the few words written beneath the seal. "Uzumaki Naruto Soul Blade. What the heck? What's a soul blade? And why is my name in here? Eh, whatever. I'll just find out."

Naruto repeated the procedure for opening the scroll. He cut his finger and wiped it across the big elaborate seal. With a small pop and an explosion of chakra smoke, the seal gave up its contents. When the smoke cleared, Naruto found a sheathed katana.

"A sword?" Naruto picked up the sword and pulled it out of the sheath. Nothing in particular looked out of the ordinary or special about the sword. There were no cool engravings on the blade like he'd seen in Manga or the movies. The blade collar was so badly tarnished that it was black. The black guard was still in good condition, but the wood looked old and dried out. The handle looked rather ratty with the old cloth wrapped around it in the traditional braid pattern. The blade itself looked fine, though even to his untrained eye, it was easy to see the blade needed a cleaning. "This thing's a piece of junk! I wonder why it had my name on it? Eh… It doesn't matter. I need to get a jutsu down or I'll never pass this test!"

Naruto re-sheathed the sword put it down next to him. He unrolled the scroll a bit more and groaned. "Shadow… Clones?!" Naruto cried in exasperation. "Why does it have to start with what I'm bad at?"

* * *

 _Several hours later..._

"I found you…"

Naruto, scuffed and bruised, looked up at Iruka and grinned. "Hey, look! I found the nose bleeder!" the blond said with a snicker as he pointed at Iruka.

"Idiot," Iruka shouted. His head suddenly increased in volume three times, due to the Big Head Jutsu. "I found you!"

Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head. "You found me," the blond said. "But I only just got one of the jutsu down. Hey! Hey, sensei! You gotta pass me if I learned one of these jutsu, right?! Let me show you!"

"Naruto…" Iruka said slowly. "Why did you steal the scroll?"

Naruto frowned in his confusion. "Don't you know, sensei?" When Iruka shook his head, Naruto shrugged. The boy figured that his teacher probably needed for Naruto to explain it before he let him demonstrate the jutsu he learned in order to pass. "It's the secret Genin test!"

"Secret Genin test?" Iruka questioned. "Who told you about that?"

Naruto grinned, feeling he was on the right track. "Mizuki-sensei, of course! I know he probably wasn't supposed to tell me about it, but I really wanted to pass and so he told me about the secret test. But, you have to keep it a secret." The last part Naruto whispered as loudly as he dared.

"Mizuki… but why would he-" A loud whistling pierced the calm of the clearing, making Iruka's eyes widen. "Get down!" the man shouted as he shoved Naruto out of the way just as a brace of Kunai passed through the space. Thanks to that intervention, the deadly spears of metal missed Naruto entirely and smashed right into Iruka. The force behind the thrown knives blew Iruka off his feet and nailed him to the tree he was standing in front of. Thankfully, the kunai didn't hit any vital spots, though Iruka knew if he didn't get treatment soon he'd bleed to death anyway.

"I see…" Iruka said, wheezing as his brain caught up to the present. "So that's it."

"Wh-what?!" Naruto shouted. "What's going on?!"

At this point, Mizuki appeared when he hopped down from the tree across the clearing onto the ground. The tree he came from happened to be exactly where the hail of kunai had come from. Mizuki now openly wore a look of cruel superiority.

"Damn you Iruka," Mizuki said. "I had him in my sights. If you'd just stayed out of this, he'd be dead and your parents would be avenged."

"What's going on?!" Naruto shouted. He picked up the scroll from where he'd fallen and clutched it tightly to his chest.

"Naruto," Mizuki said, turning to the boy, "give me the scroll."

"No," Iruka shouted. "Mizuki lied to you and used you to get the scroll. Mizuki's a traitor!"

"Oh?" Mizuki let out a dark, slow chuckle. "So now _I'm_ the liar. And a traitor, you say?"

"Will someone tell me what the heck is going on?!" Naruto shouted.

"You know what?" Mizuki said. He crossed his arms contemplatively as he dipped his head in thought. "I think I will. Naruto, how about I tell you the truth!"

"What?" Iruka shouted. He gasped and grunted as pain shot through his body as he started pulling kunai from his body. "No! Mizuki, you can't! It's forbidden!"

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Naruto asked. "What truth?"

"Haven't you ever wondered why everyone in the village doesn't like you?" Mizuki asked. He looked at Naruto with the cold look that everyone else usually did, but now there was a cruel smile to go with it. Naruto didn't like the look, in fact his instincts screamed at him to run, but… he had to know. He just knew that whatever Mizuki was going to tell him, it would explain everything. It was the answer he'd been looking for ever since he knew how to ask the question. "Haven't you ever wondered why the teachers are mean to you at the academy? Why the other children refuse to play with you? Why people's pets and wild animals growl at and chase you? Why grown men and women scream at you and try to hurt you? Why you're always alone?"

Naruto's eyes were wide open as he listened to Mizuki list almost everything he suffered right in front of him. Mizuki knew! Mizuki knew what he went through. But then why… why was Mizuki looking at him like that? Mizuki's eyes were so very cold right now. "Why?" He needed to know. He didn't care how cold the man looked at him, he _needed_ to know! "You know why?"

"Of course I do," Mizuki said as he stretched his hands out in front of him, as if welcoming him. "Everyone does. They're just not allowed to talk about it. I'm sure you've heard them talking about it before, only for them to stop, suddenly. Because it's… _forbidden_. Right?"

"Mizuki," Iruka shouted. Desperation creeped into his voice as he pulled at another of the kunai nailing him to the tree. "Don't do it!"

"It's forbidden?" Naruto asked. "Why?! Why is it forbidden? Why can't anyone tell me what I did wrong?! What's wrong with me?!"

"It has to do with a great terror that took place twelve years ago. No one can tell you because the Third Hokage created a law," Mizuki said, his cruel smile widening into a toothy, hungry grin. The effect of the grin and the cold look in the man's eyes, combined with the moon light, made the man look crazy. Insane.

"A law?"

"A law that you can never be told of," Mizuki said.

"What law?!" Naruto shouted. This was it. He had to know. This would explain everything.

"No!" Iruka shouted as he pulled the second to last kunai from his side and quickly went to work pulling out the last one in his leg.

"The law states that everyone is forbidden from telling you that…" Mizuki's cold glare turned into a hot one full of rage and hate. His grin became like the mouth of a devil, as if he were breathing fire. Naruto felt a tremor of terror run down his spine as he simultaneously wished he could shut Mizuki up and at the same time, wished he could make Mizuki speak faster. "…you _are_ the nine-tailed fox!"

"The nine-tails… I'm… I'm…"

" _Stay away from the demon boy_."

" _Don't go near that monster."_

" _If you get near cursed thing, you'll die."_

" _Why do they let something like him walk around freely?"_

" _How can the Hokage let that menace near our children?"_

" _It's a good thing he's such a loser, he has no chance to become a ninja."_

" _I hope they fail him, even if he could pass. Can you imagine something like that becoming a ninja?"_

" _Something like him… I can't understand how they let a de-"_

" _Quiet! That's forbidden."_

Mizuki laughed like a man possessed while Naruto slowly lost his grip on the scroll. The bundle of paper slipped from his arms as he stared forward without seeing. Flashes of every pain in Naruto's life, everything he'd suffered, every hurtful word and action all passed before his eyes. Now, though, every one of those dark whispers, cold looks, and small violent smacks when he got too close made perfect sense.

"I… am the… fox…" Naruto said in a slow and stuttering voice.

"Yes," Mizuki crowed. He pulled free one of two giant shuriken strapped his back and flung it toward Naruto. "You are the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox! You are the one who killed all of the villager's loved ones! You killed the Yondaime Hokage! You killed Iruka's parents! Everyone, even Iruka, hates you to the very core of their being! Now die, you filthy demon!"

The shuriken flew across the clearing, straight for Naruto's head. His instincts screamed at him to dodge, to move, to do something. But his mind knew. Just knew. He was the demon. He deserved to die. He shouldn't move. If he moved, he would live. If he lived, then the whole village would still be sad. They hated him. The entire world hated him! If he died… maybe they'd be happier. If his death was the cost of everyone's happiness, then… he'd make it so. He closed his eyes and felt the tension in his body simply vanish as if it had never been there. It was the most peaceful he'd ever felt.

"Naruto! NO!" Naruto's eyes snapped open when he heard the shout and the sudden and jarring sound of metal piercing bone and flesh. Iruka was hovering over him protectively. And he was crying.

"Iruka!" Mizuki shouted. "Stop getting in the way, you fucking idiot! I'm trying to kill the demon! You hate him, right?! He killed your parents."

"N-Naruto," Iruka said, completely ignoring the irate shouting behind him. He stared straight into Naruto's blue eyes as he spoke. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should have been there more for you. Maybe I could have been a better teacher."

"Iruka… sensei?" Naruto squeaked out. "W-why? Why would you…"

"Because, Naruto," Iruka said. The man smiled, a warm and kind smile completely unlike anything Mizuki had ever shown him. It was the smile of someone who _didn't_ hate him. It was a smile broken by the blood that suddenly dripped from the corner of his teacher's mouth, drawing a crimson line down to the man's chin where it began to drip down onto Naruto's leg. "You're not… a demon… to me. I recognize you as… Uzumaki… Naruto. My most… precious student. A true… leaf… ninjaaaa…"

Naruto watched with his eyes wide open as Iruka's eyes rolled up into his head. Yet, even as Iruka fell unconscious, he slumped to the side to avoid landing on top of Naruto. The boy could only stare at his unconscious, bloody, dying teacher as Mizuki laughed coldly.

"I was going to kill that idiot anyway," Mizuki said with a grin as he pulled the second giant shuriken from his back. "That bastard was always getting special treatment when he was such an inferior ninja! I was _always_ better than him and _he_ got all the attention. Now, it's your turn to die, fox boy."

Naruto reached out a trembling hand toward the bloody Iruka. His fingers barely grazed the man's cheek, but he pulled his hand back like it was burned. Iruka was cold.

"He's… dead…" Naruto whispered. "Iruka-sensei is dead!" His vision became blurry as tears started to gather in them. He long ago refused to cry, because tears never did anything for him, but he just couldn't stop them now. Where as before, he was content to die, but now… Now, Iruka was dead because the man had believed in him. The man had called Naruto his most precious student. Iruka was crying… Why was Iruka crying?

"Yes," Mizuki said, spinning the Shuriken around in his hand until it was just a blur. "And now, so are you!" With that, Mizuki shot forward.

When Mizuki spoke, he drew Naruto's attention. At the sight of the vile hatred on the man's face, directed at him, Naruto felt a heat explode in his gut. It quickly became a wave of rage that pushed aside anything but the fact that Iruka was dead and this man in front of him was why.

With a snarl, a grimace, and strength he never had or was aware of as he used it, Naruto hopped to his feet and put his hands into the special Ram Hand-seal that he'd just learned. The boy shouted "Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!" at the top of his lungs, pushing all his rage, and hate, and anger, and hurt, and sorrow, and pain, and suffering into the words, and along with all of that, as much of his chakra as he could push into the jutsu.

Mizuki smirked at the uselessness of it all. "You just don't learn, you idiot!" He snarled as he swung his hand down to slice the demon in human form in half. He didn't even get within half a meter. Six different sandaled feet smashed into his face and knocked him up into the air and then backwards into the center of the clearing.

Of course, one doesn't become Chunin without learning how to roll along with a hit. Though his face was still pounding in pain, it wasn't anything he hadn't dealt with before. Mizuki landed in the center of the clearing on his feet and quickly took in his surrounding, as had become habit from living so long as a ninja. _That_ was when he felt the blood drain from his face.

Hundreds upon hundreds of solid clones were surrounding him. It was like he was in a forest of orange now, instead of green. _And more were still being created!_

"Wh-What the hell?!" Mizuki shouted, terror creeping up and through his body. "What the hell kind of monster are you?!"

"My name is _Uzumaki Naruto_!" every single Naruto shouted at the top of their lungs. Mizuki cried out as his eardrums burst. He dropped the giant shuriken and grabbed his ears. "You _killed_ Iruka-sensei! Now _you're_ going to die! Dattebayo!" With that cry, the clone army shouted in unison as they charged forward.

Once again, being an experienced, Chunin ranked shinobi saved the miserable traitor's life. Though at this point, he couldn't hear a thing, he could still fight. And so a kunai found its way into his hand as he started to beat the clones back with a display of taijutsu that was, if nothing else, on a spectacularly higher level than the rest of his abilities. His skill with taijutsu was why he was a taijutsu instructor at the academy, after all.

Nevertheless, the stream of clones was like a never ending river of orange. Though Mizuki could kill three or four before they could get close enough, the other six that were attacking him at the same time easily got through to punch or kick the man. Mizuki, now deaf, growled. He lashed out with a kick while at the same time sped through a number of hand seals, ending on Snake.

"Earth Release: Greater Stone Spike Field!" Mizuki shouted as he slammed his fist down into the ground. From that point out in all directions, the very ground convulsed as spikes of earth shot out from the surface. The earth technique was devastatingly effective against the army of shadow clones. Despite this, the technique only took out a little over half of what was there. Mizuki watched, winded, as the rest charged in, their mouths open in silent battle cries. Cries that would probably have ruptured his ear drums again had he not already been deaf.

"Earth Release: Ground Bullet Storm!" Mizuki once again smashed his fist into the ground and all the spires of stone started breaking apart. Instead of falling to the ground, however, the pieces of rock flew into the air and began circling around the epicenter of the jutsu. The flying shards of razor sharp rock easily destroyed whatever remaining clones there was, as well as destroying every part of a tree that was in range of his jutsu.

Gasping for breath and fighting off chakra-exhaustion induced sleep, Mizuki cursed under his breath. "Damn monster fox… Forcing me to use almost all of my chakra like that. Where is he?!"

Mizuki hopped from the center of the now ruined clearing toward where he'd killed Iruka and the last place he'd seen Naruto. There he found the boy huddled over Iruka. The giant Shuriken that was lodged in the man's back was now tossed off to the side in a puddle of blood, presumably Iruka's. Naruto quickly noticed Mizuki.

"I'm going to kill you!" Naruto shouted as he scrambled to his feet and readied… a sword. Mizuki laughed after reading the boy's lips as he picked up the bloody giant shuriken.

"You'll try," Mizuki said with his sadistic grin. He was still low on chakra, so he'd just have to settle for doing things the old fashioned way. "But in the end, little fox, you'll die. Hah! I rhymed!"

"Ahhhh!" Naruto shouted as he ran forward with the sword held high. Mizuki smirked and twirled the shuriken around his hand as he dashed forward. He humored the boy and brought his own weapon in to clash with the sword. Mizuki knew that the rotation of his shuriken would knock the sword away from him and then proceed to slice the kid's head off.

There was a loud screech of metal. The sound of flesh and bone being cleaved. And then Mizuki's hand, along with a shuriken, broke into five pieces and fell to the ground. Naruto's sword, meanwhile, had taken on a light green sheen, and was completely whole.

Mizuki dropped to his knees, his eyes wide in fascinated horror, as he watched blood squirt out of the stump where his hand used to be. The traitor gasped, as panic welled up inside of him and licked his body. He was about to scream when something smashed into the back of his head, right at the base of his skull, and sent him into unconsciousness.

Naruto had watched everything that happened in wide eyed, confused wonder. His sword had not only chopped that asshole's hand off, but had chopped the big metal shuriken into so many pieces. He didn't know that when hands were chopped off, blood would squirt out like that. A part of him felt ill in his gut at the sight, but another part was completely and utterly satisfied with the result, and in fact, wished the man's head had come off too. Then an ANBU appeared out of nowhere and knocked Mizuki out.

"Damn," the ANBU said as she took in the damage. "I should have moved faster." At this point, the ANBU, clearly a woman from the sizable bust under her armor, noticed the downed Iruka. "Shit."

The woman ignored Naruto and moved to Iruka. She put a hand to his neck and cursed again. With three hand signs, she muttered, "Lightning release," and then slammed her hands down onto Iruka's chest.

Naruto cried out and moved to attack the woman, but was quickly shocked into stillness when Iruka opened his eyes and gasped loudly. The man's face was pale and he looked like he was about to drop dead again in the near future, but right now he was alive. Alive!

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto cried. He didn't care if he cried now. Hadn't the Hokage once said it was okay to cry when you're happy? Well, he was really happy now.

"Damn you, Umino," the ANBU said. A green glow now covered the woman's hand as she pressed down on one of the man's wounds. "You were dead for a couple of minutes. You take too many chances."

"Heh… So I do." Iruka's breathing was irregular as he gasped sometimes and other times just breathed in shallowly.

"Just hold on," the woman said. "You're in good hands now." She'd said this as much for Iruka's sake as for Naruto's. The boy looked like he was about to start breaking down.

"N-naru-" Iruka started to say as he tried to push himself up. The ANBU was having none of that and cut him off by pushing him back down onto the ground.

"Quiet," she said, "Everything will be taken care of. Just rest now." Then she looked up at Naruto and made a shallow bow with her head. "Thank you for defending a comrade and defeating a traitor. The Hokage is waiting to see you."

"I… wha-"

*THUMP*

And then there was nothing.

* * *

A/N: So I found this hiding away in my story folder just gathering cyber-dust and looking sorry. So I decided, why not post it. The idea isn't new, but I also have several other proto-stories started in my folder and I've decided to just post them all for shits and giggles. By all means, please review and let me know what you think. This story line has several more chapters done, but I won't be posting them one right after the other. Instead, I'll be posting other Naruto stories I've got saved up as well. If any of the fragments of receives enough good comments in reviews, I might even give it it's own full story, so review if you like the idea! Also, should anyone else suddenly find themselves inspired by one of my fragments, you are free, nay, encouraged to follow that plot bunny/inspired muse wherever it might take you. Consider this blanket permission, so long as you follow one rule:

Give me credit for creating the idea.

That's it. That is all I want as far as that is concerned. Other than that, thanks for reading!  


~I.K.A. Valian


	2. Transposition 1

**Transposition**

By: I.K.A. Valian

 _A – B: One Ends_

NARUTO © Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

It took me nine months, three weeks, and six days to figure out that what I was experiencing was most certainly _not_ a hallucination, dream, nightmare, Hell, or Purgatory. I hope I can be forgiven for this lapse in judgment. After all, I had been re-born into a whole new life. But perhaps it might be better to begin my tale from the end of my last life. For it is important to believe that I _had_ a previous life in order for anything I tell you about my current living arrangements to make sense.

At the end, I was terrified. I suppose a lot of people would say that if they could. I don't know of any others who've experienced what I have and 'lived' to talk about it. Suffice to say, staring down the barrel of a .45 hand cannon wasn't the way I expected to go. Who robs banks with ski masks and guns that big in 2034, anyway?

"Give me all your money," was what they said. I remember it clear as day. "Give me all your money and don't do anything stupid!"

I looked the gunman up and down. Unlike the others around me, who were also clearly terrified, I had not raised my hands into the air like some obedient little child. Call me an obstinate old man, but after five decades and a Mini World War in the Middle East, I wasn't going to bow to the demands of some punk ass kid who mistook his mama's stockings for a Halloween costume.

It was a rather small bank, a branch office. I guess the kids figured that because this was so far out in the country, the cops wouldn't be fast enough to get here to stop them. I bet they were also counting on all of those 'country folk' being stupid or weak enough to be steamrolled by 'badass boyz from the hood'.

I remember laughing in the face of the guy with the .45 on me as that thought went through my head. It was clear these idiots weren't even African American, despite their clear attempt to talk like them. The morons probably got the idea from the recently hot television drama about the gangs that used to infest Chicago a decade past.

"Shut the fuck up, Old Man, and fork over your cash!" shouted the idiot in front of me.

"Listen son," I said, "I don't give a shit who you are, or how big a hand cannon you point at me, you aren't getting my money. Understand?"

"First," the idiot said, as he got right in my face and shoved the gun up under my throat. The metal painfully dug into the soft skin of my neck, but I didn't give the little moron the gratification of seeing my flinch, and instead stared straight back into his face. Facing down an army of agitated Arabs was easily more terrifying that his little punk, any day. "You ain't my fucking dad," the punk said. "Second, if you don't give me your money right now, I will paint your fucking brains across the ceiling. Got it, asshole?" The punk shoved the cold metal of the .45 hard against my throat to emphasis his point.

I sighed. Sometimes, you have to work to give people what they deserve. I inclined my head and diverted my eyes over the guys shoulders. "Don't play hero," I said.

I watched with morbid fascination as the idiot in front of me took the bait and turned to look over his shoulder. At the same time, I brought my hand up and shoved the gun he was holding from under my chin to under his. The moment the idiot felt the gun moving, he squeezed his finger down on the trigger.

The thing about a .45 caliber gun is that it isn't meant for leaving neat, clean holes in people or objects, or anything at all, for that matter. Actually, the amount of force behind such a large projectile pretty much guarantees whatever is shot by this size gun that isn't an inch thick plate of steel is turned into mulch or hamburger. Two guesses what happened to this guy's face after the gun went off.

The sight of blood, gore, and brain matter flying through the air made my insides roil. What felt like a lead weight settled into my gut, but I didn't stop once the shot rang out. I dove to the ground, grabbing the hand cannon out of the now dead or dying kid's hands in an attempt to bring it to bear on the other idiot shaking down the tellers.

I had just pointed it at the kid when the second shot rang out. I jolted when I felt the .45 caliber round pass through my intestines like a blowtorch through butter. I was surprised that it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe it was my training kicking in, or a traumatic experience from the war resurfacing, but I was somehow able to push the pain, more of a dull ache, to the back of my mind. With my mind clear, I aimed the gun at the flabbergasted kid, who was probably wondering how the hell I was still moving after being shot, and pulled the trigger.

Stupid kid probably thought that people die after a single shot with a big enough gun, just like in those stupid nerfed down video games. He'll have plenty of time to think about his stupidity in Hell, because my shot wasn't as low as his. At least, I'm pretty sure he's going to die, unless a point blank shot from a .45 hand cannon to the heart doesn't kill people like it used to.

The two robbers dead, I dropped the gun from my bloody hand and tried to breath. It was at this point that I looked down and realized why it was so hard to do that. The blow to my gut hadn't just liquidated my intestines, but it had severed my whole body in half. As the life faded with every weakening pump of my heart, I idly wondered what awaited me on the other side.

Just as the darkness swallowed my mind, light erupted around me. I don't know why, or how, but it quickly became apparent that I was not quite dead yet. At the time, I thought that this must be what Hell was like, because I couldn't move very much, all I could do was scream, and giants manhandled me all over the place. And that was in just the first few minutes.

The eyesight of an infant isn't that great. In fact, it doesn't really completely finish developing for years. Ears, on the other hand, are near fully developed by time an infant is born. That said, most bodies have an adjustment period of several years to adjust to the strength of sound around them. So at the moment I was re-born, I was overwhelmed not just by the blurry images and the terrifying sensation of being held by hands larger that my body, but by the insanely, to my new ears, loud sounds from everywhere around me.

I had fully expected to go to Hell. After everything I had done in my previous life, I certainly deserved torment. I tried to remain moral, but war seems to bring out the worst in people. Morally, I knew I had done wrong, but it was what needed to be done. I was lauded as a hero, even though I felt like a schmuck. So this terrifying experience of loud noise, blurry images, the inability to move in any capacity, being grabbed and moved about by being much larger than me, and smelling something horrible the whole time was as close to what I felt I deserved as I could imagine.

I didn't change my opinion that this was Hell until I was a little under ten months old in this new world. After that, I was certain that it was worse.

* * *

Throughout my first year, I was probably the most unbearable infant possible. I was finicky, cried a lot, screamed a lot, threw up on a moments notice, crapped at the most inopportune times, and took joy in spewing bodily fluids out of whatever orifice I could use. The way I figured it, if I was in Hell, I couldn't really get into any more trouble for being unruly and destructive. It was kind of liberating, in a way, to be free of expectations of behavior.

Over the weeks of that year, my sight improved steadily. My hearing, which was surprisingly already quite strong, began differentiating and tuning out the extremely loud noise all around me. With the improvement in sight and hearing came an improvement in my sense of balance, so I didn't feel like I was being thrown around all over the place. My sense of smell was still horrid, or perhaps it was good but I was surrounded by fermenting sewage.

These changes were subtle. So subtle that when I woke up one day and could clearly make out the facial features of this green haired beauty picking me up out of my crib, I was struck speechless. She had soft looking skin, shiny brown eyes that almost seemed too large, a small nose, and a curving set of what looked like naturally ruby red lips. She was beautiful, even with the odd green hair. Of course, she immediately smiled at my silent nature and launched into a joy filled rant of some kind. I could only pick up bits and pieces of what she was saying, because whatever language these giants were speaking in, it sounded surprisingly like Japanese. At the very least, she sounded like she was excited. Maybe she was a cosplayer? It would explain the Japanese. And the green hair.

I curse my stupidity for what I did next. Instead of bursting into tears and screaming my head off, like I normally did when confronted by my hellish tormentors, I started laughing and giggling. Later, I'd conclude that the torment was getting to me if I was starting to enjoy it. At that moment though, I was filled with such an uncontrollable wave of joy that it burst forth like a dam being blown or a balloon popping. It's hard to describe the complete happiness that possessed me at that moment.

That was probably the beginning of my doubts about my situation. I continued to actively be a little pain in the ass after that, but with my improved eye sight and increasing understanding of what was being said around me, I began to notice that I was not actually being tortured. Rather, my 'parents' were caring for me, an 'infant', as best they could.

I couldn't see any obvious signs of wealth. If I were to be honest, from what I could observe, the house was a dirt hovel and my family was one mired in abject poverty. As I sought out more clues to prove or disprove that I was in Hell, I easily discovered that that my parents were not happy with their predicament. My 'father' and 'mother' were constantly somber. The only time they appeared happy at all was when they were interacting with me. When I realized that my doubts about my situation doubled and I also began regretting my behavior up to this point.

My new family appeared to be a young, hard working couple. When I got my first chance to study him with my improved eye sight, I found my 'father' to be a large, muscular man. His hair was dark, almost black, but it was fairly easy to distinguish the blue running through his wild mane and beard. Even his arm hair was blue-ish. In fact, he was so hairy and so large that he was easily comparable to a large blue bear, and hairy enough to make the comparison work. He had what I would call an _epic_ beard. His face was hard and angular, his skin course, but his normally hard and flinty eyes were kind and gentle when looking at me.

It appeared to be a hard life, but my family was persevering. Father left everyday dressed as some kind of construction worker, top hat and everything, while mother minded me and the house. When he returned, she left in some kind of costume that made her look like a shrine maiden or something. It had a long flowing red skirt tied with a bow at her waist and a white shirt tucked into the skirt. They followed this pattern every day without fail. After I was weaned, which as a man I admit might have made last longer than necessary, I was fed in the morning by Mother and then in the evening by Father.

The final nail in the coffin, so to speak, that convinced me that I was not actually dead took place on _that_ day. The one, fateful day that everyone who ever knew anything about Naruto knows by heart. October tenth. That was the day I learned where I was. That was the day I learned I wasn't dreaming, or dead. That was the day my world was, once again, turned upside down.

The cause of all these things was a several story tall glowing red fox-like beast with nine tails. I admit, at first, the only thing I could focus on was the terrifying presence that the Nine-tails chakra induced. It was literally causing me to wet myself. Being an infant, it wasn't all that unexpected of me.

The fox attacked at night. So it was my father who died trying to save me. I remember watching through my terror induced haze a look of resignation overcoming his strong facial features. At the time I had no honest idea what was happening, just that there was some _thing_ in the air that was trying to suffocate me combined with an all consuming terror from deep inside my soul. My father found the fortitude within himself to pick me up, crib and all, and threw me out the nearest window just as a giant, red hand slammed down to the earth. I didn't even hear a crunch or anything of the like. One minute my father was staring at me and the next both he and the whole house was just gone.

I don't know how or by what miracle, but the Nine-tails did not step on me after that. I was a trifle too terrified to pay much attention, but it wasn't too long after that when the great beasts presence completely vanished. I think I was lying on the ground without anyone finding me for several hours. I screamed for a while. That turned into whimpers before I settled for focusing on breathing alone.

Eventually, someone found me and I wound up in a room full of other babies crying. I was forced to enduring staying in that room for several days, being fed and changed by what I assume were very haggard nurses who wore strange metal plates on their heads, before Mother appeared. She wasn't the same woman who'd left the night of the attack. She had sunken eyes, her skin was pale, and she bore a thousand yard stare that I'd only ever seen on front-line combatants.

I noticed her before she noticed me. She was going through the room with a look of complete hopelessness. When she finally saw me she stopped and stared at me, as if she couldn't believe it was me. I think I teared up and reached out to her a little. Whatever I did, the spell over her broke and she immediately snatched me up, calling out "Moriko! Moriko!" as she hugged my little body to her bosom. The nurse guiding her through the room smiled at us and patted my weeping mother on her shoulder.

It was only after several hours of paper work, as we were leaving the building that I now recognized as a hospital, that everything that had happened came together. I was being held close to Mother's chest as she walked down the street when I saw people zipping back and forth over the roofs. The Nine-tails, the metal plate wearing nurses, the people running around; I was in the world of Naruto, the world of Shinobi. I was almost a year old and I was in a world where stories tall monsters existed. A world where shadows and blood ruled. A world, if possible, more terrifying than the one I died in.

And if that wasn't enough, it clicked in my head that Mother had called me Moriko. Wasn't that a girl's name?

* * *

A/N: I'm not entirely sure what i was thinking when I wrote this. In any event, here is the first and only chapter of Transposition. I wonder what I was thinking of when I came up with it... If only I could remember.

Thanks for reading.

~I.K.A. Valian


	3. Naruto Unchained 1

**Naruto Unchained**

* * *

 _Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto._

 _No material profit was made from the creation of this story._

* * *

 **Prologue:** _Chain Reaction_

* * *

 _Training Ground 15, Hidden Leaf Village  
_ 11:48 PM, Friday, November 23, 993 After Sage (AS)*  
~Naruto~

* * *

He ran through the pitch black forest with a swiftness that, had he been calm, would have surprised him. The branches of trees and other shoulder high flora whipped him in the face as he went, but his near blind panic made him immune to such concerns. He ran, and ran, and ran for what felt like forever.

Then his teacher appeared in the clearing ahead of him and he dashed to hide behind one of the trees. His heart jumped into his throat and pumped blood from there as he waited, his arms tightly squeezing the body sized Forbidden Scroll of Seals as the seconds ticked by. _Why hadn't he been caught yet_ , he wondered. Then he heard someone speaking.

"How did you know I wasn't Iruka?"

That brought him up short. A quick burst of curiosity suppressed his panic long enough for him to convince himself to take a look around the tree. Mastering his heavy breathing, he crept, ever so slowly, around the side of the tree. Revealed in a clearing lit by moonlight was his other sensei, Mizuki the traitor. _What_ , he wondered, _how am I over there?_ Mizuki was staring at another battered, bloody, blond version of his orange wearing self sitting against the base of a tree in the clearing.

"Because I am," his other teacher said as the transformation around the other boy dispelled and revealed Iruka. The sitting teacher had a grimace of pain, blood clearly dribbling from his mouth, as he rested one of his hands on his slightly upraised leg. He almost looked to be sitting leisurely, save for the blood leaking out of him.

He watched as Mizuki straightened up from his bent position and sneered with a darkened look at Iruka. "I see," Mizuki said, "he-he, this is quite amusing. You're so noble. Here you are, saving the demon who murdered your parents. And for what?!" Mizuki spread his arms out and leaned towards Iruka. "What does anyone get from letting that monster get away? What happens if we let him live?"

"Oh I don't know," Iruka said back, a rueful grin on his face, blood stained teeth visible. "I, for one, like to think that he and the scroll are safe from a complete scumbag."

Mizuki scoffed and spun around to stalk away a few steps before he whirled back around and pointed at Iruka. "You're a fool," the silver haired teacher growled. "Naruto and I are two of a kind."

"How do you figure," Iruka asked with a sneer of his own. "Naruto is nothing like you!"

"Wrong!" Mizuki shouted. "I would use that scroll to achieve unlimited power! Nothing would be able to stop me from destroying everything and everyone in my path. The demon that he is hungers for that same kind of strength. You were right to fear and despise him."

He pulled back behind the tree and clutched the scroll in his arms all the tighter. What Mizuki said was true. He was the Nine-tails after all. So why did he feel so alone? Why did it hurt so much? As if someone had reached into his chest and was trying to rip it apart.

"You're right, the demon would want that," he heard Iruka say. Somewhere deep inside of him, something broke.

 _I thought Iruka was different_ , he thought to himself.

"But Naruto is different," Iruka continued. "For him, I have nothing but the highest respect. He is my most precious student!" Iruka grunted as his injures worsened, but forced himself to continue. "He works hard, trying with all his might, but sometimes, even so, he's awkward, clumsy, a screw up. People have mocked him and shunned him." The injured teacher looked up with a glare at Mizuki. "And it has given him empathy! He knows what it means to be in pain! What it means to be alone! That boy is no demon fox! He is a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village, Uzumaki Naruto!"

It was like a dam had been burst within him. Emotions so powerful that they paralyzed him and so heady he couldn't stop the tears he'd sworn never to shed. For the first time in his life, he felt the pain of being himself going away. For the first time in his life, he felt what it must mean to have someone believe in him. It wasn't like the Hokage, who had to believe in and love everyone. This was just Iruka, and it was overwhelming. Tears and snot were flowing down his face non-stop, despite his best efforts to keep quiet. It took everything he had not to let his voice out.

"Aww, isn't that sweet!" he heard Mizuki deride. "Just hearing you say so makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." He heard Iruka cry out in pain. Panic surged to the surface and he scrambled to look around the side of the tree again. Iruka was trembling and more blood was flowing from the sides of his mouth. Mizuki was now holding onto the inner ring of a large Fuma Shuriken as it span around, continually picking up speed. Mizuki sneered and said, "Well, Iruka, I was going to save you for last, but I've decided to just kill you now. Now _**die**_!"

His heart leaped into his throat, but his body reacted. The moment Mizuki shot forward, he was already half way to his destination. Before the traitorous teacher could react, Naruto's knee was smashing into and breaking his nose. The blow had enough force that Mizuki was thrown backwards across the entire clearing. The boy, on the other hand, had to slide to a stop while bent over and trying to slow himself down with one hand scraping against the ground.

Mizuki grunted as he pushed himself back to his feet. Meanwhile, Iruka was staring at the boy, his eyes wide open. The boy glared past his bangs, his head bent forward, as he stood tall with one hand on the Forbidden Scroll of Seals to keep it steady on its end and the other in a fist.

"Stay away from Iruka-sensei," he growled. His heart sang a song of righteous fury as he then said, "Or **I'll kill you**!"

He could feel it, his power surging within his body. His energy, his chakra, had always been really hard to control. The stupid leaf sticking training never worked for him because he would always blow the leaf way off his forehead instead of sticking it. Everyone always laugh at him when he couldn't get something everyone else could. But now, he had no intention of controlling the raging ocean's worth of energy stored in his body. He wanted to let it out, all of it, and use it to break his foot off kicking the shit out of Mizuki for ever daring to think of hurting Iruka.

"Naruto!" Iruka shouted. "You idiot! You should have run away!" Iruka started coughing, blood and spit flying with each heave. "Run away," he yelled, his voice now hoarse. "Save yourself!"

"Loud mouthed brat!" Mizuki shouted. "I'll kill you with one blow!"

"Try it, _trash_ ," Naruto growled out. He brought his hands up and placed them into the position he'd been practicing all night while he was trying to master the technique in the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. The hand seal itself looked like he was holding one fist perpendicular against the other, and with two fingers stretched out on each hand, he appeared to be making a cross with both arms. Glaring as much as he could of his rage at Mizuki, Naruto said, "Anything you throw at me I'll give back a thousand times over!"

"Yeah right," Mizuki screamed, almost incoherently. He rushed forward, ready to end Naruto's life with one swing of the wildly spinning Fuma Shuriken. "Now, die you demon!"

 _In another life, in another world, in a similar place, this would be the turning point in young Naruto's life. He would go on to create over one thousand shadow clones, each of which was solid with blood and everything. It would impress his teacher, Iruka, because Naruto had never been able to master the regular clone technique no matter how much he practiced. Iruka would graduate Naruto by handing the boy his own headband, which Naruto had asked to wear the day before but had been denied._

 _Naruto would grow up while he struggled to be recognized for practically his whole life. He would appreciate the few who did so without prompting and consider them lifelong precious people. Eventually, Naruto's dream would come true, as would a prophecy, both saving the world from ruin and becoming a great leader of men._

 _This is_ _ **not**_ _that tale…_

And then, somewhere deep inside of him, he felt it. It felt like something had snapped earlier, when he thought Iruka hadn't believed in him after all. Whatever broke inside of him was quickly becoming further and further unraveled. It wasn't necessarily painful. Instead it felt like a part of him that had been missing before had finally appeared. Now that missing part was filling in all of the spaces that had been left empty, and then it was overflowing. It felt like the world's best backrub while he was lounging in a hot spring. Before he even realized what was going on, and before he could actually perform the Shadow Clone technique, a great rush of power flowed through him. From his back, what felt like his bones exploded outward and stabbed into the dirt.

The next thing Naruto was aware of, twenty five different blue chains burst from the ground below Mizuki and stabbed into and through the traitor's body. Mizuki's limbs were all quickly torn from his torso. The head was stabbed through by one of the four blades that topped each of the chains and then sheared off from the immense speed at which the following chains tore through the man's skull. Organs and body fluids of all nature exploded in a violent waterfall of gore. From a strictly macabre point of view, Naruto's future psychologist would call it a work of art before proscribing further extensive therapy.

After seeing all of this so suddenly, the raging fire of righteous fury in Naruto's gut vanished and was quickly replaced by disgust. Before the blackness edging around the sides of his vision overtook him, he uttered, "Oh."

* * *

 _Hokage's Office, Hokage Tower  
_ 10:13 AM, Saturday, November 24, 993 AS  
~Naruto~

* * *

Naruto's eyes opened, but he didn't move from his position. He'd woken up here before, on the Hokage's office couch. It was a rather comfortable couch, leather, and always felt good to relax into. When he made Hokage, he'd have a couch just like this one!

 _How much trouble am I in and… what did I do again?_ he wondered to himself. Then it all came rushing back to him. Failing his test, stealing the Forbidden Scroll, and then the revelation that he was the Nine-tailed Fox/human boy that everyone hated. _But there was something else, wasn't there?_ he asked himself. _What happened after that?_

"I remember Mizuki telling me I'm the fox…" he mumbled to himself, "and then after that, I remember… him trying to kill me! That traitor! But… I'm not dead so wh-oh yeah! Iruka sensei was there too! And I ran away. Then Iruka and Mizuki talked a bit about me and…and… ugh, I can't remember what happened after that."

"I'm glad to see you're awake, Naruto-kun." Naruto jerked and turned his head to look at the short man wearing white robes sitting in the Hokage's seat behind the Hokage's desk. It was the Third Hokage, leader of the Hidden Leaf Ninja Village, and the closest thing Naruto had to family. Well, at least, that's how it was until last night. Iruka had gone from an annoying teacher that was always on his case to something like a brother. "You had a lot of us worried, you know."

"Eh," Naruto said, as he sat up. He tilted his head and looked at the Hokage in askance. "Who would care about me enough to worry besides you, Old Man?"

"More people than you'd imagine," the Hokage said cryptically.

Naruto grimaced. "Damn it, Old Man!" he griped. "Just because you're old doesn't mean you have to speak like it!" The Hokage chuckled quietly as Naruto pushed himself to his feet and walked to stand in front of the desk. Naruto coughed once into his hand and then felt his head glancing off to the side. "I… I'm sorry for stealing the scroll, Old Man," he mumbled.

"Hmm," the Hokage hummed in agreement. "Yes, it was a bad thing you did. But fortunately, it is one thing which I cannot blame you for. You were following the words of your teacher, who in the end, turned out to be a traitor."

"S-so, I'm not in trouble?" Naruto asked, hope filling his voice as he looked at the Hokage. The old man stared down at the quickly paling blond boy with all the seriousness he'd picked up in his long life for three long seconds. Then a crack appeared in that iron visage as the Hokage smiled.

"Hahaha," the Hokage laughed good naturedly, "you are in _**so much**_ trouble, young man!"

"W-what!?" Naruto shouted. "But you just said…"

"Yes, I don't blame you for stealing the scroll, that's true," the Hokage said. "But, regardless of that, you still broke into my home, knocked me unconscious with a ridiculous transformation, and then disobeyed the direct orders of a superior officer in the field when Iruka told you to run away with the scroll. Now," the Hokage paused as he readjusted himself in his comfortable leather seat and fixed Naruto with his 'Hokage' stare. "What do you have to say for yourself, Genin Uzumaki?"

"Bu-bu-bu…" Naruto felt his brain twisting into knots as he tried to understand what the Hokage just said.

"Hahahahaha!" the Hokage loudly laughed. Then he pointed at Naruto and continued to laugh. "I finally got you! Hahahaha! You should see the look on your face! Hahahaha, priceless!"

There was a bright flash, and then the masked ninja holding the camera vanished in a small cloud of grey chakra vapor. It took far too long for the master prankster that was Uzumaki Naruto to realize what had just happened. When he did, he settled for scowling. The Hokage had pranked him and got a picture of his reaction face.

"That's so not cool, Old Man," Naruto said with his arms crossed. It was clear, though, from the small smirk on the boy's face that he was amused as well. _I am so getting him back for this-ttebayo!_

Once the Hokage's laughter came back under control, Naruto asked, "So what happens to me now? I mean… I didn't pass the test, does that mean I have to go back to the academy?"

"I'm afraid that you won't be allowed to attend the academy anymore," the Hokage said, all mirth gone from his face. "It would be hard for a registered Genin to be an academy student, don't you think, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked five times as he stared in slack jawed wonder at the Hokage before he fully processed what he was told. Then the brightest grin he'd ever had exploded onto his face and he started jumping up and down, shouting, "YES!" over and over again. The Hokage watched him prance about with a smile on his face.

"Now, before you get carried away," the Hokage said, drawing Naruto's attention, "there's something we have to talk about. Something, I'm afraid, that has been put off for far too long now. You know about the Fox now, correct?"

All of those happy feelings from before died a lonely death on a frigid mountain top. Naruto felt like he'd deflated on the spot as he slumped forward. "Yeah," he said. "I know." Then he looked up and stared right into the Hokage's eyes. "But I want you to know that I'll never go back to being a stupid huge fox or be evil again! I'm Uzumaki Naruto-ttebayo!"

The Hokage sighed. After rubbing his face in his old, weathered hands, he gave Naruto a serious look. "Naruto, do you believe I would know more about the fox situation than Mizuki?" At Naruto's nod, the Hokage continued. "Well, I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that Mizuki was a moronic idiot. You, Naruto, are not the fox. At all. Nor will you ever be the fox. You were not the fox in a previous life and you certainly won't be the fox in a future life."

"B-but.."

"No 'buts' Naruto," the Hokage said firmly. "You said you would believe me. So, do it. You are not the fox. And the fox is not you. Instead, you are like a living prison cell. You are the warden who holds the monster inside his cell just by being alive. In fact, the seal holding the fox in is printed on your stomach. Surely you've seen it before."

Naruto clenched his stomach with one hand while he thought over the Hokage's words. At length, he said, "If I'm not the fox, then… why?"

The Hokage closed his eyes and released a long, distraught sigh. "I ask myself that many times a day," the now visibly older man confessed. "Honestly, I've tried to convince them of the truth many times, but they are stubborn and foolish. Sometimes, those are good traits to have. Just not in this case. I'm sorry, Naruto. Your home has been horrible, when it should have been the exact opposite. The Fourth wanted you to be seen as a Hero, because you would spend your entire life holding the Nine-tails at bay, protecting the village with your every breath. Instead, no one wants to admit you even exist, despite seeing you right in front of them."

"I see," Naruto said. For a moment, it seemed like the despair of his life up to now would overwhelm him. But it did not. The bond he felt with the Hokage and now Iruka held it back. Memories of all the times that the Hokage had spent with him, talking to him, and inspiring him joined together with the memories of every time Iruka had been nice to him as well. "I don't know what to think… everything is happening so fast and at the same time. I'm so confused."

"You should take your time with this," the Hokage said. "Think through how you feel and come to your own conclusions. Regardless, I want you to know how proud I am of you, Naruto." Naruto's big, wide happy grin was all that the Hokage needed to know that he'd both said the correct thing, and that everything would work out alright. "Before we get side tracked, I want to talk to you about those chains you used to defeat Mizuki."

Naruto's eyes widened. He gasped and his body began to shiver uncontrollably. The memories he'd been suppressing began playing back right before his eyes, triggered by the Hokage's words.

"I… I remember now," Naruto said. His voice quivered as he spoke. "I killed… Mizuki-sensei."

"Yes," the Hokage said, his voice serious and his expression solemn. "You did. And I'm not angry at you or upset at all. In fact, if I were in the same situation, I might have done the same."

"B-but, Old Man, I didn't mean to," Naruto implored. It suddenly felt like the most important thing in the world to make the Hokage believe that he hadn't meant to kill the man. That the death was an accident. That he wasn't a _monster_. "It was an accident! I swear! I really, really just wanted to beat him up! It's not my fault!"

The Hokage placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder and waited for the boy the stop talking. It took several minutes more of Naruto swearing up and down for that to happen. Finally, on the verge of tears, Naruto trailed off while saying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Taking a life is a serious thing," the Hokage said. Naruto shivered under his emotional onslaught as he absorbed the Hokage's wisdom. "But it not always the wrong thing to do."

"But-"

"No buts," the Hokage interrupted. "Mizuki was a trained killer who had given into his hatred and decided that he wanted to use you, kill you, and then blame you for the theft of a priceless village treasure. Do you know exactly how important the Forbidden Scroll of Seals is?" Naruto shook his head. "It was written by the First Hokage, and then added onto by every Hokage after that. Inside of it are the most dangerous jutsu that mankind has ever devised. Some of the jutsu in there are powerful enough to destroy the entire Leaf Village in one go." The Hokage nodded as he noticed the wide eyed boy before him. "Yes, the scroll is _that_ dangerous, and Mizuki wanted to use it to destroy you and the village he once served. You didn't just stop a traitor from killing Iruka, Naruto, you saved the whole village. So don't feel too bad about killing the man, alright."

Naruto looked down at the floor as he went over what the Hokage had said. After a short pause, Naruto looked at the Hokage with a more determined expression. "I'll try, Old Man!"

The Hokage nodded. "Good. Now, onto your chains. I'm happy to tell you that you inherited those from your mother."

"B-but…you always said that you didn't know-"

"Yes, I did," the Hokage admitted. "But before you decide I'm some kind of evil old wizard trying to control you, hear me out as to why I kept this from you."

Naruto's lips trembled as he swallowed loudly, literally swallowing his outburst and showing a level of self control that the Hokage didn't know the boy had. "Alright, Old Man," Naruto said, "but you better have a really, _really_ good reason. Or else."

A small bead of perspiration trailed down the back of the Hokage's neck. When an Uzumaki had that look in their eye and said 'or else', bad things generally happened for the remainder of the target's life. Uzumaki, unlike the rest of the shinobi world, did not get revenge through normal, kinder means such as murder, extortion, and mayhem. No, they achieved their revenge through what could nicely be called pranks. Extremely humiliating and embarrassing pranks that you never lived down no matter how long you lived. He personally witnessed Senju nee-Uzumaki Mito's grudge against Akimichi Miko last the entire poor woman's life. Even today, the Akimichi woman's great grand-child was afraid of soy sauce. The Hokage had learned his lesson and never made reference to the Uzumaki Matriarch's 'weight'. Never, ever.

"Tell me, Naruto," the Hokage said, carefully observing Naruto for his reaction while meticulously modulating his voice to sound as confident and welcoming as possible. "When you were younger, do you remember bragging to everyone who would listen that I was your friend?"

Naruto lifted his head the ceiling and squeezed his eyes shut, crossed his arms, and delved back into his ancient memories. There was the first time he ate Ichiraku. There was the time he lived at the orphanage, but then the Old Man moved him out when he was seven. There was the time he played at the park and got beat up… oh, wait, he didn't get beat up, he took some body blows as a form of pain resistance training. Yeah, hehe, that's how it was. And then the memory of him running through the village, shouting about how the Hokage was his friend finally surfaced.

Naruto tilted his head back down to look at the Hokage. "Yeah."

"Would you have done anything differently, if I told you your mother was not only one of the most powerful Kunoichi this village has ever had, but also the Princess of the Land of Whirlpool and the Clan Leader of the Uzumaki Clan?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "MY MOM WAS A PRINCESS-"

The Hokage immediately covered Naruto's mouth and stopped the loud noise that was the boy's voice from escaping. It didn't stop the sound from escaping past his hand, but it was mostly muffled. The Hokage gave Naruto a stern, appraising look.

Naruto got the message and stopped shouting. The boy even had the decency to blush. "I uh… yeah, probably would have… you know. Cause… yeah."

"Indeed." The Hokage nodded before he turned and started walking. He motioned for Naruto to follow and the two of them left his office. "As I was saying, I couldn't tell you this, because you would have screamed it to the heavens, and then your enemies would have found you. Now, understand, my ANBU ninja are the best in the world. But even they couldn't stop all of the assassination attempts that would have been tried against you were anyone to learn of your true heritage."

Naruto blinked several times as he processed everything the Hokage was saying. Then he asked, "But, Old Man, everyone already knows I'm _Uzumaki_ Naruto. How come they haven't figured it out by now?"

The Hokage smiled as he stopped in front of a blank wall in the corridor connecting the Administration portion of the Hokage tower to the Leaf Village Shinobi Academy. "That, my young friend, is because you don't look like one. Most Uzumaki were known for several things, most specific of which are blood red hair and large chakra reserves. You only received the chakra reserves, thank goodness. Because you were born at the same time that the Nine-tails attacked, every one of your enemies believes that you were only given the name to commemorate the dead clan and that in truth, you don't share their blood at all."

"But they're wrong, right?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, they are," the Hokage said. Then he turned to the wall and placed his hand flat on the surface. A section of the wall slid back silently, startling Naruto. "Come, we're almost there."

"What is this?" Naruto asked as he followed the Hokage into the small room beyond the hidden door.

"This," the Hokage said, dramatically drawing out the pause as the entrance slid shut silently. Then the whole room shook as a slight sense of weightlessness overcame it. Naruto quickly latched onto the Hokage to keep from falling over. "Is an elevator, Naruto."

"What's that?" Naruto asked. "Why is the room shaking?"

The Hokage chuckled while keeping a calming hand on Naruto. The boy continued to cling to him as the elevator descended five hundred meters. "The room is called an elevator. It's going down to a secret training room hidden under the village. It is there, that I will teach you how to use your chains."

"Wha-really?" Naruto looked up at the Hokage. And then a light of understanding appeared in his eyes. "You mean my mom taught you how to do the chains too?!"

"No," the Hokage said, still chuckling at Naruto's bright eyes and eager demeanor. He considered it a minor miracle that the boy hadn't succumbed to despair after everything he'd learned the night before and just now. He prayed that it would stay this way for a while longer. "But Kushina did explain how it worked, in an effort to see if I could. I will teach you everything she taught me." Naruto grinned and started to bounce up and down as the elevator came to a stop.

* * *

 **Chapter One** : _The 'Weakest' Link_

* * *

 _Shinobi Academy, Room 115, Hidden Leaf Village  
_ 12:05 PM, Monday, November 26, 993 AS  
~Naruto~

* * *

Naruto had his eyes closed. He was sitting in the middle row, next to Sasuke Uchiha. If it were the day before, he probably would have moved after insulting the Uchiha in one form or another. He really hated that guy. But today was different, because today, he was focusing on controlling his chakra chains.

" _Keep this image in your mind. A ball of chains, like a ball of yarn, rolled up in your belly,_ " the Hokage told him. " _It should be rolled up around your chakra, but still allows your chakra to flow through it, like a bucket with a bunch of holes in the bottom. If you want to use your chains, you simply unravel the chain ball. If you want to use your chakra for anything else, say a jutsu, you have to focus your mind and keep that ball all rolled up tight, otherwise, the chains will pop out and the jutsu will fail. If you practice this technique enough, you won't even need to focus on it anymore, you'll just do the jutsu, or use the chains, as easy as if you were breathing._ "

So here he was, focusing on holding a leaf on his forehead. Okay, a really big metal leaf that was actually a forehead protector. The Hokage said using a single leaf was probably going to never work for him since he had so much chakra, and instead should use something bigger and heavier. The forehead protector worked, strangely, in a way that the single leaf never had. Still, the amount of concentration he needed just to hold his chains in while using his chakra for this was intense. _If this doesn't get any easier, I'm totally pranking that Old Man good,_ he silently swore to himself.

Doing this wasn't something he just picked up either. The Hokage had spent the better part of his Saturday, and half of Sunday, helping him to learn how to push the chains out and control them after they'd extended. The Hokage had helped Naruto discover that he could push the chains out of any part of his body, but it was easiest from out of his lower back and also from out of his lower wrists right underneath his palms.

Once the Hokage had managed to beat into Naruto's head how to control the chains, the man then focused on teaching Naruto how to separate his chakra and his chains inside of him so he could use jutsu. According to the Hokage, his mother had problems with this too and this made her relatively bad at Ninjutsu all together. _Well, I'm sorry Mom, but I'm totally going to master this and use all sorts of Ninjutsu!_ Naruto mentally swore.

Of course, while he was practicing (read: Playing) with his chains, the Hokage told him everything he knew about his mother. She was a redhead, which was typical of the Uzumaki Clan, and full of vigor and life. Her favorite saying was something about finding your daily happiness, or at least, the Hokage thought it was. Despite her abysmal failure at Ninjutsu, the woman was, apparently, extremely lethal with her chains. Not to mention her hard hitting Uzushiogakure Style Taijutsu, her Uzumaki Style Kenjutsu, the Clan Famous Uzumaki Style Fuinjutsu, and the unique Chakra Chain Barrier Ninjutsu. All of this added up to one of the toughest, deadliest, and hardest to kill Kunoichi that the Hidden Leaf had produced since Senju Tsunade.

"I'm totally going to surpass my Mom, Dattebayo," Naruto said under his breath.

"Naruto?"

He opened his eyes at the surprised question from Iruka. He found the entire classroom staring at him. The sudden self consciousness that flowed through his body caused the forehead protector to drop onto his lap. It landed with a soft clink, which knocked everyone out of their reverie.

"What is the dead last failure doing here?" someone asked.

"Naruto," Iruka shouted, quieting everyone before they could begin heckling the poor boy. "The Hokage told me that he asked you to meet with him instead of coming here. Why are you here?"

Naruto scrunched up his eyes as he tried to remember. He recalled the old man waving his finger at him and saying something which was probably important, but at the time he was having too much fun swinging around from the ceiling by a chain extended from his wrist. Whatever the Hokage had said was lost to time because he clearly didn't hear it.

"Uhh…" He said, scratching the back of his head. "He did?"

"Yes, Naruto, he did," Iruka said, exasperation clear in his voice. "Get going. It's best not to keep the Hokage waiting and you're already late."

"R-right!" He shouted as he hopped up from his seat. He quickly tied his forehead protector back around his head and dashed from the room through the still open door. As Naruto ran past a pair of girls that were pushing their heads together as they fought to get to the classroom first, over his shoulder he shouted, "Later-ttebayo!"

* * *

 _Corner of Seventh Street and Fourth Avenue, Hidden Leaf Village  
_ 12:58 PM, Tuesday, November 27, 993 AS  
~Sakura~

* * *

 _It's your fault!_

She couldn't stop the tears that streamed down her face. She knew shinobi rule number twenty-five, just like she knew every other memorized shinobi rule, said that shinobi and kunoichi always must hide their tears. They don't show any emotion period. The fact that she was not able to hide her pain and sorrow only further cemented how much of a screw up and a failure she turned out to be. Because she didn't want to be noticed, and because she was doing her best to fall back on her training, she'd pulled the forehead protector from her head and let her long pink hair fall in front of her face like a curtain to block her shame from the world.

 _All you are is dead weight! Dead weight that does nothing but hold me back!_

A sob, the first one of the day, broke through her self control. Then another and another after that. She shook from the strain of holding her emotions in check. Ultimately, she caved and shot off into the village. She didn't care where she ran or how far she, she just needed to leave. She needed to hide. She knew as sure as her hair was pink she had to hide herself away from the world. So she ran and didn't pay any attention to where she was headed. All she was aware of was the sound of her sandaled feet hitting the ground in an even, desperate sounding tempo. Though, in a small part of the back of her mind, she realized that everything sounded desperate.

 _You're not good for anything. Just go die!_

The world was falling apart. Every step taken as she ran away only seemed to make the weight sitting upon her back grown heavier. Finally, when the weight became too much and she couldn't take another step, she stopped and leaned over to brace her hands against her knees. She heaved and had to hold down the bile rising up her throat, the burning sensation waking her to the fact that her legs and arms were shaking, her heart was beating thousand times a minute, and she was completely and utterly out of breath.

 _I can't believe I had to be put onto a team with weaklings like the two of you. Especially you, Haruno._

And now she realized that she was also alone and way off of the beaten path. Having taken a few moments to catch her breath, and nearly falling over from the waves of exhaustion flowing through her, she stood up as straight as her tired frame would allow in order to get a look at her surroundings. She was in the forest, which wasn't saying much in Konoha, and it wasn't a section of the forest that she recognized.

Were she in her right mind, she would realize that she wasn't lost. Anyone born in Konoha was never lost in a forest. And finding one's way was a simple as climbing the nearest tree, something that all shinobi and non-shinobi of Konoha could do practically from birth. Were she in her right mind, the overwhelming panic that swept through her and drove any semblance of thought from her mind would not have paralyzed her.

 _Go away, useless commoner. Don't bother me with your presence ever again, or I'll kill you._

She wasn't sure how long she stood stiff as a board in the middle of the forest. Eventually she came back to her mind and found she was standing awkwardly between two tall trees. None of the sunlight in the sky could penetrate to the ground, but even if it could, it would not now that the sun had gone over the horizon. She could just make out the deep purple hues of the evening sky sprinkled with bright stars when the wind moved some of the branches above her out of the way.

" _ **Well, aren't we in a pickle,**_ " Inner said, pointing out the obvious. She mewled pitifully in agreement. It wouldn't have made much of a difference if the sun was up, but without light, she'd have no sense of direction and wouldn't be able to see any of the landmarks. Thus, as inner pointed out, she was lost until someone found her or the sun came back up.

"What's worse is I'm starving," she said as she rested a hand on her abdomen, which in response, rumbled loudly. "What am I going to do?" she moaned as more panic began to well up within her… until Inner stomped her spiked steel boot down onto it with extreme prejudice.

" _ **Woman up, damn it!**_ " inner shouted. She winced at the volume and almost reached up to cover her ears. Only the knowledge that there was no actual sound stopped her.

Getting used to having a voice in one's head was hard work. If people see you talking to your inner voice, they think you're crazy. Tell them that you're talking to the voice in your head and they ask you to speak to a man with a friendly demeanor in a white coat. At least Yamanaka-sama wasn't mean to her, though he was certainly patronizing about her 'imaginary' friend. If anyone see's you react to the things your inner voice says, they think that something is wrong with you or misinterpret your movement as an attack. Having an inner voice was really, _really_ , hard work.

" _ **We are the top kunoichi in the graduating class! So what if that… that…**_ "

Before her inner could come up with a proper name to label the former boy of her dreams and fantasies, the perfect label appeared in her mind. "Uchiha Bastard?" She'd heard it often enough from the _Supreme Annoying One_.

" _ **Yes! Bastard!**_ " She was surprised by how vehement her inner was being about this. But she couldn't disagree with the sentiment in any way. Who knew her feelings for the Bastard would have changed so drastically so fast? Certainly not her and probably not anyone else either. No, that isn't entirely true, Naruto knew the truth long ago. " _ **We don't need a bastard like him to survive on our own, in our own village's back yard! We have procedure and rules completely memorized! So let's do this!**_ "

"Y-yes! Yes!" she said, confidence gaining in her voice. "I'm… I'm the top Kunoichi! Damn it! S-so what if I'm not as good as that pretty boy bastard… with his stupid… his stupid…"

" _ **His stupid hair that looks like a chicken's butt feathers!**_ "

"Yeah, his stupid chicken head!" she shouted. Then she paused and went over exactly what she just said. A hand snapped up to cover her mouth, but it wasn't enough to smother the snickering and then the laughter that erupted out of her. The laughing soon over took her entire being, shaking her body as she slid to the damp mossy ground. There she remained for several minutes as she continued to laugh at her former classmate's expense.

A sudden noise to her left sent a shot of adrenalin through her. Her body immediately moved without conscious thought until she was on her feet in a defensive position with a kunai in her hand and chakra had been circulated into her leg muscles so she could run or leap forward to attack on a moment's notice. Whatever was in the brush was making a lot of noises all of which put her on edge.

Out of the brush ambled a large boar. A boar as large as she was. Fear crept up her spine and gripped her heart. Then inner jumped onto the spiritual scene with the proverbial Flamethrower of Love and set fear on fire. Unleashed was an overwhelming sense of rage and anger that had been bottled up ever since the end of Team Seven's doomed genin test.

The boar, for it's part, immediately sensed the fear of an intruder into its territory. It enjoyed this fear. Fear meant it was going to either get a free meal for it's strangely carnivorous diet or it was going to quickly drive the intruder out. Then, in the dying light of the day, it caught sight of the intruder and noticed it was one of those hairless two-legs. And then the two-leg's fear changed into something else.

The big boar didn't immediately recognize it because, of course, it was the lord of this patch of the forest. As such it rarely ever faced a true predator in combat, let alone been in such close proximity to one. But the amount of bloodlust and hunger radiating from this small looking two-leg alone was enough to remind the boar of a long distant memory when he lost his mother, a great beast of a sow herself, to a mountain lion.

The lord of the forest didn't have that great of a memory, but it did remember that battle. The fight for survival had been seared into its little piggy brain and it never left. The stench of fear and the desperation to survive against a superior foe mixed with the overwhelming sense of bloodlust to create a vile sense of apprehension. It was almost enough to make this boar run away squealing like the pig it was.

Then the boar realized that it was slightly bigger, and thus stronger, than this little two-leg. The plan was simple, after that was known. Put his large tusks, that were longer than this two-leg's arms, through the two-leg. Do it over and over enough until it didn't move or make sounds anymore. Then feast. It was a good plan, for a boar.

"I… I am…" she reached into the weapons' pouch attached to her thigh and pulled out a second kunai. Flipping it around so both kunai in her hands were pointed toward the ground, she level her gaze at the stomping pig that was getting ready to charger her and declared, "I am Haruno Sakura! I am the top Kunoichi graduate of my class and I won't be beaten by the likes of you, _swine_!" She twisted her arm around so she could gesture for the boar to charge with her fingers in a 'come-on' motion. "Come. I' _m hungry and mam **a wants bacon for dinner**_!"

She charged forward with a scream at the same time that the boar charged forward with a loud squeal. The boar lunged as it swung its head back and forth in an attempt to skewer her on its tusks. It was fast for a four-legged creature, but not fast enough to stop the girl who had chakra coursing through her legs and arms.

Just as the boars tusk was about to reach her, she reached out with one of her kunai and snaked it around the tusk so she could then hook the blade on the ivory and swing around. Her foot smashed into the big pig's flank and drew a pained snort from the great beast.

The abnormally large porcine shook the girl off of itself and stampeded away before turning around. It would not be losing here. No predator would ever defeat it, not a lion and not this skinny looking two-leg. Snorting out a blast of high pressure, hot steam from its overheated body, the boar charged again.

The girl grunted as she picked herself up off the ground. She quickly noticed her dinner charging at her and did something she'd never done before. At the very least, she'd never done it before when she was fighting in the academy during a spar. She grinned. And then she charged forward to meet her quarry in battle again.

This time, the boar simply wanted to ram into his prey and knock it out, but that plan went down the tubes when the girl jumped impossibly high and smashed her feet, which felt like a ton of bricks, down on its forehead. The blow knocked the pig for a loop and it began stumbling as it moved about the clearing in an attempt to get away and set up for another charge.

She never gave the pig the chance to recover. After she'd bounced off of the boar's head, she turned around and leaped up onto the porker and stabbed one of her kunai straight into its shoulder. The pain and weight on its back must have cleared up the pig's mind enough for it to start bucking and squealing loudly in an attempt to dislodge her.

She kept her hold on the kunai she'd embedded in its shoulder and used her chakra so she could keep a tight squeeze around the pig with her legs while it bucked and squealed. Eventually, the pig grew too tired to continue. It slowed, huffing and puffing as it stood there.

Leaning around the pig's head and slicing it's neck open was, surprisingly, easy to do. The beast had tired itself out from the fight. Whatever energy the pig might have left in it vanished when its neck was sliced open and its blood gushed out onto her hand, kunai, and the ground. It gurgled and tried to move before it lost the remainder of its strength and flopped onto the ground.

For a half of a moment, disgust and revulsion about what she'd just done attempted to rise up within her. Then inner appeared, once more saving the day, this time equipped with a pair of steel gauntlets. Inner proceeded to punch disgust and revulsion until they were a distant memory.

"I… I did it!" she said, breathing heavily as she stood there, in front of her first kill. "I can't believe… I totally killed that pig! And it was trying to kill me! What the hell kind of pig was this!?"

" _ **Does it really matter? Food is food.**_ "

Inner was right, of course. Still, that was something. She'd succeeded in defending herself from a wild boar that was bigger than she was. And she did it in the near dark when she could barely see anything if not for the chakra sent to her eyes. She recalled the lesson in enhancing senses and remembered that Iruka-sensei had said it was extremely difficult to do anything with the senses, but not impossible, without lots of training. Even now, she could see despite how dark it was.

The elation flowing through her began to drain away, along with the adrenalin. Now that she looked at the situation with calm, calculating eyes, she knew what she had to do. With a grunt, she walked up to the now dead boar and ripped her kunai from its shoulder.

"I still got some stuff to do," she muttered as she turned and trudged away, her eyes on the ground.

* * *

The next morning, a pair of shinobi appeared on the edge of the clearing where she'd set up camp. She knew they'd appeared because she heard them land, quite noisily too. She didn't really have any kind of shelter or anything besides the boar' hide she'd stripped from the beast before she'd built a large pit over which she'd roasted the entire thing. Over the night, as she stayed up to keep watch for any other wild animals or even bandits or nukenin, she'd gradually shaved off pieces of the pig every now and then to eat, while turning the spit that she'd speared through the beast to make sure it didn't burn on one side.

When she heard the two ninja, she turned and saw two ANBU with their white masks depicting a monkey and a bird. A sparrow if she wasn't mistaken. She watched as the two elite ninja glanced at each other before they moved toward her. She waved at the still roasting boar, offering them breakfast.

"No, thank you," Sparrow said. "Are you Haruno Sakura?"

"Yes," she said. "Why are you looking for me? I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"I couldn't say," Sparrow said. The ANBU was apparently a woman, both from the soft higher pitched voice and the fact that there was a bust hidden underneath the chest armor plate that filled out the uniform in a way that men simply didn't. Otherwise, Sparrow didn't really stand out all that much with close cropped blond hair and the slender, wiry bodyframe that all elite ninja seemed to develop. "I and several other ANBU were dispatched by Hokage-sama to track you down. When we couldn't find you inside of the village, my squad spread out to look through the forest. To be honest, we were on our way back to the village because up until now we hadn't found anything. How did you wind up all the way out here."

Sakura blinked. Her green eyes grew a little more dull as she recalled the events of the day before. Another blink brought her back to the present. "I and my team… I mean, I was failed by the Jounin sensei that was testing my team and… things didn't end well between… words were said that… hurt. I ran out here to get away from it, and before I knew it, I'd lost my way and the sun was going down. Then, before I could get my bearings, the boar appeared and attacked. After that I set up camp here and that's pretty much it."

"Holy shit!" Monkey's outburst drew the two women's attention. "This… this boar is the Lord of the Forest! It's that C-rank chakra mutated monster that's been on the loose for over a decade! Look, you can recognize it from the shape that the tusks are in. It's the same as the description in the bingo book." Monkey looked away from the roasting pig and stared at the little slip of a pink haired girl. "How in the nine levels of hell did a skinny little, freshly graduated kunoichi like you take on and defeat a monster like this?"

Sakura blinked at the statement, but whatever shock at what she'd done or anger at being called weak, _again_ , were squashed by inner. It was becoming obvious as time went on to her that inner wasn't taking shit from anyone anymore. Her poor emotions were constantly getting the crap beat out of them. Poor emotions. Too bad inner didn't give a crap.

"I was hungry," she said. She didn't elaborate and ultimately the two ANBU didn't ask. Monkey collected the tusks while Sparrow used an earth jutsu to create a hole into which the remains of the carved up husk of the boar and the fire that cooked it were dumped and covered up in quick order.

She arrived back at the village with little fanfare and was escorted into the Mission Office by the ANBU who disappeared after telling her to wait there for someone to come get her. Honestly, after everything that had happened over the last twenty-four hours, she was emotionally drained and ready to pass out from exhaustion. She was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt. She wasn't hungry, having filled herself with pig all night, but she did feel like she needed to scrub herself for a day just to get all the stains out of her.

An hour passed, during which several teams walked through the mission's office. At first, they didn't do anything other than pick up their missions leave, while giving her looks that ranged from curious to disgust at her pungent aroma. She might have cared if she wasn't sleep deprived, but right now all she wanted to do was get clean and curl up under some fluffy covers. Even her teeth felt disgusting; slimy.

Near the end of her hour long wait, several teams passed her by, asking each other 'is she was the one' or 'did she have something to do with it'. It got to be really annoying. The whispers were why when the door opened and the person stopped to stare at her, she growled and spun to face the new person and shouted, "What do you want?"

It took her a moment to realize she'd just shouted and nearly punched the blond haired menace that had haunted her entire academy career. Uzumaki Naruto stood in front of her gawking. Her mind, tired through it was, supplied that he was nearly as scuffed up and bloody as she was, though apparently he didn't have any open wounds that she could see. Furthermore, he was wearing a forehead protector. Hadn't he failed?

"S-sakura-chan!?" he shouted in his loud annoying voice. "What are you doing here?" The decibles grated on her raw nerves and it took all of her dying self control to not reach out and bash him in the face until he didn't make any more sounds.

"I'm waiting," she said through gritted teeth. "And keep it down, will you! Don't shout indoors!"

"Sorry," Naruto said, scratching the back of his crimson splashed blond hair. "I was just surprised. I was told by the old man to come down here and take the person waiting here to the hotsprings and then escort them home. You know, D-rank mission."

Sakura blinked slowly as her mind processed things slower than normal. "How are you doing missions when you didn't graduate? And furthermore, how did you get that forehead protector?"

Naruto grinned as he led Sakura out of the Mission Office the two of them set off down the street toward the public bathhouses. "I had a special graduation test because of Mizuki. He apparently tried to fail me as a cover for turning traitor. I got to retest and I passed the second time. But since I wasn't assigned to any teams, I have to wait until a team spot opens up or until next graduation when I'll be put at the top of the list to get a new team. Until then I can take local D-rank missions. Got to pay the ramen-bills! Dattebayo!"

They fell silent as Naruto escorted her to the baths. At first she was worried he'd try to peek on her and the other women, but then she saw him heading off to the men's side. Clearly, he needed a bath as well so for the time being he'd be busy.

After cleaning herself as thoroughly as she could and then scrubbing everywhere else, she gingerly set herself down into hot water. It was pure heaven and an expression of abject pleasure made itself known on her face.

" _ **This is the life! Kicking piggie's butt, feasting on pork all night, and now a nice, long, hot bath paid for by the Hokage. The only thing that could possibly make this better would be if… we had a guy here to rub our feet or… something.**_ "

"You were going to mention the Bastard, weren't you?"

" _ **Cha! Who would care about that jerk? I'd rather he jump off of a cliff or something! Shannaro!**_ "

"Yeah…" A soft pang of regret and sadness passed through her. But it didn't stay for long, considering how nice the hot water felt. After letting the hot water soak into her sore, aching body for a long quiet moment, she said, "a foot rub would be nice, wouldn't it?"

" _ **Shannaro!**_ "

* * *

 **Epilogue:** _Chain Link_

* * *

 _Hokage's Office, Hokage Tower, Hidden Leaf Village  
_ 9:55 AM, Thursday, November 29, 993 AS  
~Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage~

* * *

He smiled internally as he watched the young girl squirm under his gaze. She'd given her parents quite the scare, given his ANBU the run around, and abandoned her duty as a Genin Kunoichi of the village when she ran off into the forest and left the village without permission. The first two weren't really possible to hold against her, even less so considering how emotional she was reported to have been at the time. The last, however, was a serious problem. If she had checked in with the gate guards and told them she'd be going out to train in the forest, then there would have at least been that to help cover the unscheduled exit, but she didn't even have that.

"I hope you understand the seriousness of the situation, Haruno-kun," he said, making his voice extra deep and gravely. He'd found out a long time ago that it added to how serious he sounded when Biwako cringed at him for using the voice to ask for some milk. At the time, they'd laughed it off, but the accidental technique had proven quite usefull. "Even if you were not on duty at the time, you left the village without permission. By all rights I should label you a rogue ninja and throw you in prison." The old man watched the girl shiver and seem to cave in on herself. "However, I'm not going to do that."

"You're not?!" He stared at her for her sudden outburst. She cringed inward once more, but the hope that had sprung up in her eyes didn't disappear again.

"No," he said. "Normally, because you failed to meet the standards of the Jounin assigned to evaluate you, you would be sent back to the academy for further study and training. After six months you would be given a second opportunity to impress a Jounin instructor, and failing that, you'd be shuffled into the general forces or placed into the reserves. But this is not a normal situation, so it requires an equally abnormal solution. You need to be punished for your actions, and I believe I have the perfect solution. I'm assigning you to a team." He held up his hand to stop the question visibly burning on the girl's tongue. "This is a punishment, because you clearly demonstrated that you are not ready to be a fully fledged genin both to your evaluating Jounin instructor and then your abandonment of your duties. Instead of giving you more time to grow and nurture any skills you may possess in an academic environment, I'm sticking you directly into active service. Granted, those missions you go on will not be dangerous and your pay will be garnished a certain percentage as an additional punitive measure for six months. Regardless of what you think of the assignments you, and by extension your team, are given, you will complete them to the fullest extent of your abilities. At the end of a six month period, you will be re-evaluated to determine if your punishment has been carried out satisfactorily. Do you understand everything that I've told you?"

The pink haired girl had wide open eyes. Slowly she nodded and said, "Yes, Hokage-sama. Thank you for not throwing me in jail. Or executing me. I'm really, really sorry for what I did."

He nodded. "Good," he said with finality. Or it would have sounded like it was final if his office doors weren't kicked open and an orange wearing, loud, unpredictable, blond kucklehead didn't barge in.

"Oi! Old Man! What the hell did you want me here for so damn early in the morning, you old coot!"

He groaned and palmed his face. There went his mystical, badass shinobi aura, blown to pieces by his pseudo grandson. He got no respect! Damn kids! To head off any more outbursts from Naruto, he gestured toward Sakura. "Meet your new teammate, Naruto-kun."

"Eh?" Naruto turned and found Sakura goggling at him and his blasé, irreverent treatment of the strongest ninja in the nation. When he saw who was sitting in the chair, his visibly brightened and smiled his big, megawatt smile. "Sakura-chan! I didn't think I'd get you on my team! Weren't you supposed to be on Sasuke's team?"

"E-hem." Clearing his throat got both of their attention before they devolved into a conversation and/or shouting match. Reaching over his desk, he held out a forehead protector toward Sakura. As she took it, he said, "Don't lose it this time, understand?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," she said.

When she grabbed the cloth and metal apparel from him, he said, "Good, dismissed. And Naruto, behave, will you."

"Pssh, yeah right!" Naruto crowed as he turned and walked out of the room. "See ya later Old Man!"

With both of the genin gone from the room, and a manageable amount of paperwork on his desk, he leaned back in his chair and took a short break. It was sunny outside, and despite the autumn season, warm enough to have the window open to let a cool breeze flow through the office. He had a good feeling about the two he'd just teamed up. Only time would tell if his gut instinct was right on this.

* * *

A/N: So there's Naruto Unchained. Tell me what you think?


	4. Trapped 1

**Naruto: Trapped**

* * *

~ Chapter One ~

 _Team Introductions_

* * *

A yellow mop of hair atop a bewhiskered face popped out of the class room to glare down the hallway. The young man looked back and forth, and seeing nothing, growled. He pulled his head back into the room and snapped the wooden sliding door shut with a loud clack.

"Naruto," complained a pink haired girl leaning against a desk, "would you just sit down or something?"

"Why is our Team 7 sensei so **damn** **late**?!" Naruto snapped. He crossed his arms and his orange jumpsuit pulled tight across his diminutive chest. "All the other teams have gone off with their sensei already. Even Iruka-sensei is gone for the day."

Naruto forced a grimace off his face as he attempted to wait patiently with his other two new teammates. Team Seven. His team. His _ninja_ team. And it was with Sakura. She was just too pretty. He could have lived without Sasuke, though. He hated that guy. Oh, how he waited for this very day to come… and now this happens! A grin split his face as a prank came to mind.

"Hehehe."

"Hey!" Sakura shouted. "What are you doing, Naruto?!"

"Hehehehe," Naruto chuckled to himself. He stood atop one of the desks as he closed the sliding door on an eraser particularly well laden with chalk. Whoever opened the door would have to be careful that they didn't stick their head into the room too fast. Naruto quickly hopped back down from the table to the floor. "That's what you get for being late!"

"Geeze," Sakura muttered as she approached the door. "I am not involved with this," she said with a _too_ straight face. Her lips trembled in her struggle to keep from encouraging Naruto's rebellious act with a grin. She really, _really_ loved these kinds of things.

"Pfft," snorted Sasuke, the dark haired young man across the room who sat next to the window. He held his hands up in front of his face with his fingers laced together and an entirely bored expression. "Like a Jounin(1) would fall for such a stupid booby trap."

The three Genin(2) fell silent, their attention focused on the door, when a leather gloved hand gripped it. The hand pulled the door back and a head covered in brown curls appeared. The curly hair framed a young man's face as he flashed an easy going grin at the three kids. The kids were all staring at the eraser, seemingly suspended in mid air above the man's head.

"Yo," the man said. "I'm your Jounin sensei. Meet me on the roof for introductions in ten minutes." Having said his piece, the man closed the door and wedged the eraser back where it was.

Naruto immediately ran up to the door and began to inspect the eraser from every angle he could as fast as he could without opening the door. "I don't get it," he said. He scratched his head and slid the door open a little. The eraser immediately fell and crashed on the floor, sending up a large cloud of chalk dust.

 **Cough! Cough!** "Naruto!"

"Naruto, you idiot!"

* * *

The brown haired Jounin leaned his back casually against the railing along the edge of the roof. His brown long coat wavered in the light breeze as he watched the three Genin approach him with lopsided curiosity. Sakura and Sasuke sent glares at Naruto, who ignored them and looked like he'd just eaten a lemon raw. All three of them were covered in white.

"I uh…" the Jounin began. The three Genin shifted their focus to him and he crossed his arms in front of him. Best not to rub it in too much, he thought. "I suppose we should begin with introductions."

The Genin stared at him for over a minute. Finally, Sakura asked, "What do you want to know?"

The Jounin nodded. That was a reasonable question. "How about what your dreams are, any hobbies. That sort of thing. And why did you want to become shinobi in the first place?"

"Why don't you go first then," Naruto said. The boy's face wrinkled as he squinted up at the Jounin. "We know each other a little already anyway." Sakura nodded, though she immediately attempted to hide the fact that she agreed with the blond. Sasuke just glared at the Jounin.

"Sure," the Jounin said with a shrug. "My name is Ian. My real name is a secret to everybody. I dream of one day finding home and… well, I have several hobbies. I became a shinobi to make my dream a reality."

"He still looks kind of suspicious," Sakura muttered. Naruto nodded mutely. Sasuke continued to glare.

"Now you," Ian said as he pointed at Sakura.

"My name is Haruno Sakura," she said, "and the thing I like is…" She glanced slyly over at Sasuke. A blush appeared on her cheeks. "Well… the person I like is… and… dream of the future… um… Oh yeah!" Sakura punched the air. As she spoke, the blush grew more prominent. The whole time she stared slyly at Sasuke, who continued to ignore her in favor of glaring at Ian.

"What I hate is Naruto!" she suddenly exclaimed. Naruto immediately sulked. "I became a ninja because…" Sakura glanced at Sasuke again and fell silent.

Ian arched an eyebrow at the open display of affection by the girl for her prospective teammate, and said teammate's complete disregard for that affection. Perhaps she would grow out of it, he reasoned. With a shrug, he pointed at Sasuke, who stood in the middle of the group.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he said evenly. "I don't really like anything and I have no dream but an ambition. It is why I became a ninja. I will resurrect my clan, save my brother, and kill a certain person."

Sakura blushed and tried to hide her face in her hands. Naruto looked torn between wanting to run for his life or fighting Sasuke right there. Ian slowly nodded but kept a straight face as he pointed to Naruto.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto shouted. "I like cup ramen, Ichiraku ramen, and Mom's homemade ramen! I hate that three minutes that you have to wait for cup ramen to heat up. I really like it when Mom or Iruka-sensei pays for my ramen at Ichiraku. And my dream," Naruto reached up and, almost reflexively, tightened his Hitai-ate, "is to become the strongest Hokage and then make the people of the village acknowledge my existence. That's why I became a ninja! Dattebayo!" Everyone stared at Naruto in an uncomfortable silenced before he added, "and I guess… I like pranks."

"I see…" Ian said, "very well." He unfolded his arms and pushed away from the railing. "You three happen to be my first Genin team. All new Genin teams are supposed to be tested by their Jounin sensei, so-"

"Aww, not another test," Naruto groaned.

"We passed the Academy test," Sakura said. "Why do we have to take another one? Didn't we become Genin when we graduated?"

"Well… yes and no. You do have the rank of Genin. No, you're not ninja quite yet." Ian paused to scratch his head as he tried to figure out how to say what needed to be said. "The Academy graduation is used to weed out of all the applicants who have the potential to become Genin. To actually become an active shinobi, you have to pass my test. Sadly, only about thirty-three percent of any graduating class ever passes the Genin Test. It sucks, but, eh… what ya gonna do?"

Sakura looked caught between wanting to cry or shout. Naruto's mouth hung wide open and his eyes seemed to almost be bugged out of his head. Sasuke was, if possible, glaring even harder at Ian.

Ian laughed lightly and shoved his hands into the pockets of his long coat. "Anyway, you three should meet me tomorrow at eight AM at Training Ground Three. Bring all your ninja tools and prepare to show all the skills you've learned so far." He pulled his right hand out of his pocket with three sheets of paper. "This is the information," he said as he handed the papers out. "Also, you might not want to eat breakfast. You'll just throw up. K. Thanks. Bye."

Ian formed a hand seal and exploded in a cloud of white smoke. Team seven watched the smoke blow away before they inspected their papers. Sakura stared at the paper like it was life and death. Sasuke glared at the paper for a second before he turned and stalked off. Naruto squinted as he tried to read the paper, but after a while crumpled it up and shoved it in his pocket while he muttered about excessive kanji.

* * *

 **Terminology**

Jounin – The highest rank a ninja can attain in a hidden village.

Genin – The lowest rank a ninja can attain in a hidden village.

* * *

A/N:So as some of you may have noticed, I've got a lot of back logged SI, that is because I've read a lot of other SI and I've concluded that none of them have what I'm looking for in an SI and so I've set out to write my own. All such attempts have since lacked what I was looking for, so I try again from a different angle. Meh, I'll find it eventually.

Thanks for reading. Drop a line and tell me what you think!

~I.K.A. Valian


	5. The Nut House 1

**I Sold My Soul to Konoha**

* * *

When In Rome…

One – " _Do What The Romans Do… Only Better._ "

* * *

 **West Konoha Playground, August 5, 10 AM**

I was now six years old. Six years old was an important time for an orphan in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Six years is when every child, boy or girl, decides if they wish to go to the Shinobi Academy. For orphans it was even more important. If they chose not to go the ninja way, then they were deported to a sister city elsewhere in the Land of Fire where they would be put to work.

As for me, I had no desire to become what amounts to slave labor. So I decided to become a shinobi. But what kind of Shinobi? That was the question that was plaguing me after I'd submitted my application to the academy.

It was pondering this question that brought me to the receptive audience of five birds, two squirrels, and a stray dog one day at the public play ground. It was one week before classes started and I'd come here in the morning, set on working my problems out once and for all. Going into any profession with a confused heart is a bad idea, after all.

"I would like to thank you for coming here today," I said, nodding my head at the dog and birds. "It may seem like such a small problem, but it's not. After all, it's a decision with lifelong consequences. And that's if my life will have a length worth mentioning."

The dog tilted its head to the side, as if willing me to elaborate. I huffed indignantly. Didn't these guys come here already understanding my problem? With great patience, I relented to the dog's vigorous and loud demands…

"Being a ninja is like signing up for the shorted life span possible," I explained. "Really, you should know all of this already. Ninja always end up in the dangerous place of the world and, more often than not, are the ones making it dangerous in the first place. It's insane!"

A couple of the birds tweeted loudly. "Yes!" Nodded and grinned at the birds, gesturing to them while I began pacing back and forth in front of my attentive audience. "That's exactly it! If I become a ninja, I can't complain about a short life span. That's not why one becomes a ninja! They become a ninja because…" I paused and tapped a finger on my chin. "Some do it because they want to protect what's precious to them. Others because it was required by their family, or tradition. Still, more become ninja because they think it's cool or awesome. Many do it to survive. Because as we all know, this world sucks big, hairy donkey balls!"

It's at that point that I noticed the two chattering squirrels. They were very animated in making their point. Eventually, the two rodents devolved into what amounted to a fist fight. I shook my head sadly as I watched the brawl devolve into chaos.

"And see, I can understand both of your points of view. Shinobi these days don't exactly help make the world a better place. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, ninja are the reason and cause for the chaos that everyone here has noted. However, as shinobi are the only ones who have the power to change that, it's up to them to become the change that we all wish to see. Hence, my moral reason for choosing to become a ninja. Going off to some gold mine in southern Fire won't change my life or anyone else's."

I started pacing again. "So now that I've explained, once again, my reasoning for choosing the path of the ninja, I'd like to bring up the reason I'm here today." I paused and crossed my arms while I gave a good long look at my audience to gauge their attentiveness. The dog was still staring at me. In fact, he was drooling a little bit. I figured he might just be that excited about what I'm talking about. The birds, on the other hand, weren't paying attention and one of them took a crap on the swing seat. I gave the offending bird a flat stare until it flew off sheepishly.

"I know being a ninja is hard, and I know why it's hard. My problem… my dilemma, is that I need to choose what kind of ninja I should aim toward becoming," I explained. I waved my arms around to emphasize my point. "Front-line fighter? Support? Intelligence? Leadership, perhaps?" I lifted a finger each time I counted off a career path. "I could even go into some kind of jack of all trades kind of deal where I study all the paths of a ninja, but never manage to master any of them. And beyond which vocation I choose, where do I focus my personal abilities? Taijutsu? Genjutsu? Ninjutsu? Fuinjutsu? Hell, I'd even consider becoming a Weapons Master if push came to shove."

The dog suddenly barked, before running off toward the bushes that lined the edge of the playground. I sniffed derisively. "Well, if that's how you feel, fine! Leave! I don't need your advice, bitch!"

Turning back to the rest of my captive audience, I was pleased to see that they were paying attention to me still. "I guess some people just can't handle criticism. Where was I… Oh, yes, my vocation." I paused as I re-grouped my thoughts. "Maybe it's fine if I just forgo choosing such details until after I've had the basic education. But I know that if I want to be a fantastic ninja, then I have to start pushing myself in my chosen field from day one. What to do? What to do?!"

The squirrels chattered at me once more. I nodded. "Yes… Yes. That could work. But… do I really wish to outstrip all of my peers like that? I mean, it really wouldn't be very fair to them if I did that, now would it?"

The birds tweeted and the squirrels ran off. They had a previous engagement, anyway. Then the birds flew off as well and I was left alone. "Ugh…" I groaned into my hands. "Maybe they're right, and I'm just over thinking it." I flopped down onto the grass and looked up at the sky. I watched the clouds roll by for a while as I let my dilemma roll around in my head.

People think I'm crazy. They see me talking to myself all the time and think I'm 'special'. Truth is, when you spend six years of your adult life reliving your infant years, you're probably not going to be a well adjusted kid the second time around. On top of that, once I was capable of exploring beyond the four walls of the orphanage, I found out exactly _where_ I was filming _My Life: Reloaded_.

I was born into a village full of ninja that followed the Will of Fire. A place where people can defy gravity and run up walls and stick to ceilings, defy physics and walk on water, and defy nature by controlling the natural elements of the world itself, even space-time. People here could make you see illusions so terrifying your own heart stops to end the suffering, invade your mind, and brainwash you into believing your friends are your enemies and vice versa. There are warriors here with strength so monstrous they can literally punch out Cthulhu and come back to ask for another round. Might Guy, I'm looking at you.

And people call me crazy.

"Let us deliberate," I said. By this point the sky had turned into a burnt orange-pink. The cloud that had been white appeared to be on fire. "I do not wish to be anything less than the absolute best. After all, if I'm going to shoot for strength that can rival gods, then I must have a learning curve that's more like a vertical line than a curve. But how do I accomplish that without leaving all of my peers at the wayside? Being a supreme being of all encompassing power would be pretty boring with only me, myself, and I."

It was at this time, right as the sun had vanished below the horizon, that the answer appeared before me. Quite literally. It was an ANBU agent that had paused in the tree that I was resting under. I was immediately enraptured by his, and it was most certainly a man, sleek outfit and dashing cow mask. Honestly, a more interesting outfit and posture of tension I'd never seen before in my life. Hell, the man was just short enough to be considered a teenager.

And just as fast as the ANBU had arrived, so he departed. The agent left a falling cloud of leaves that fell all around me. I watched as the shards of green fell in the dying evening light with the astute observational abilities that could best be likened to the attributes of a small mammalian type creature. Perhaps a skunk.

"That's it!" I shouted. I jumped to my feet and started walking in a circle. "Yes, that's perfect! That would totally work out! Hell, if I'm diligent about it, I could get the whole damn class year in on it. Hmm, best get working right away!"

* * *

 **7's Apartment, 8:30 PM**

Right after I got slammed my door shut, I ran to my bedroom and began digging through my journals. I hadn't been sitting on my thumbs every day since I'd left the orphanage. I'd spent the last year and a half cataloguing everything I could remember about my old world. I'd also written down everything I could recall about this world.

I was not a pretty sight when I emerged from my apartment after three months. That said, while I was a hot mess for sure, I was totally finished with all of my journals. After that, I spent a week doing nothing and being utterly lazy. It was awesome. And I totally didn't have to worry about the ninja sneaking into my apartment later on because there was no way in hell they could crack my code. Not unless they've got someone that can read English. Backwards. Upside down. With a code cipher that only I knew.

This evening, a week before attending my second foray into a school system, I was digging through my journals for a specific target. In this case, it was my notes on experimental sealing ideas. It struck me one evening, months after I'd written all my knowledge down, that if Japanese Kanji could be used in sealing here, then surely other languages could be as well. This would surely be true, _provided that the user understood the language in question_.

I was a fluent English speaker in a previous life. I wanted to know if I could create a seal using the English language. So, I performed an experiment. I sat down, in the park, at night, and wrote out what I thought to be a perfectly legit chakra storage seal. After all, if the most basic function of a seal is to store and release chakra in a specific manner, then the simple storage of chakra itself _should_ be the most basic of seals.

I wrote ' _Chakra Storage Tank_ ' in the middle of a small slip of paper. Then around that, I wrote in a circle, ' _Store all chakra charged into paper within the tank._ '

The voice in my head laughed his ass off when the seal exploded. Violently. Fortunately, I only suffered minor wounds from burns, lacerations, and blunt force trauma. The blood dripping from my nose and ears looked badass. I believe it was because of this experiment that the ninja started to go through the things in my home. Not that they learned anything. Hehehe. Losers.

In any case, after the explosive failure at basic sealing, I realized that I hadn't failed completely. I decided that I had proven the ability to seal chakra using English. After going over what I'd written several times, I figured out why it exploded. It was my specific word usage. I'd created the storage space correctly, but it was the instructions I'd put around the tank that cause it to explode. Apparently, the chakra in the ink didn't know the difference between natural energy and chakra, and as such, started absorbing the natural energy out of the environment and stuffing it into the storage tank. The natural volatility of natural energy didn't interact ' _calmly_ ' with the chakra that had been absorbed out of the paper, which caused an explosion.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. It's one I really should have known, cause of what I recalled from my last life. Honestly, the voices in my head wouldn't stop laughing at me for a good long while once I recalled the lesson.

Don't. Fuck. With. Nature.

Especially on this world where nature can and will reach out and eat you. Probably in some gruesome manner that more genteel people would find utterly revolting. Like through my left nostril. Just… gross. Hell, the greatest example of nature's fury on this planet is a ten-tailed demon. If that kind of wrath doesn't get it across that nature doesn't like being screwed with, then one deserves the left nostril gruesome death.

"Found it!" I shouted. I pulled the notebook from under a pile of dirty laundry and held it high above my head. A small insect flew off from the inside of the pages of the book. "Item get!"

I jumped onto my bed, ignoring the protest of the wooden frame against the abuse. It was such a pussy bed frame, always complaining about its bad back and unruly kids. It kept asking why my mother hadn't taught me any better manners and I kept replying that my mother would rather turn the bed frame into chop sticks.

With great zeal, I flipped through the pages of my sealing journal. This I'd written in plain English, with no cipher. I wasn't really concerned with anyone figuring out what I'd learned by myself about sealing. I skipped over chapter one, " _An Introduction To Sealing In English_ ", and moved onto chapter five, " _Sealing For The Advancement Of Ninja_ ".

"Whoever named these chapters was a complete moron," I muttered to myself. I skimmed through the text I found in front of myself and ended up in the section about physical enhancement seals. "Perfect," I said with a dirt eating grin. "Resistance seals. Better apply it now. Mwahahahahaha."

* * *

 **Hidden Leaf Shinobi Academy, August 11, 9:00 AM**

The first time I saw the academy, my initial thoughts were, 'The hell they teach here?' The place looked like some kind of rundown factory with very tiny windows. One of the voices in my head followed up by asking the ever pertinent, 'The hell do I care, I ain't learning shit.', but I chose to ignore that bit of advice. Sometimes I wonder where my voices learned their social skills.

All of the incoming students were gathered into a large group in front of the main entrance. The doors, made of red wood, were closed tightly. Several chunin ran around as they attempted to corral the kids in front of the academy. At the back of the crowd, by the entrance to the academy yard, were the crowds of parents that had brought their little kids to their first day of homicide school.

In review of this situation, I once again found myself asking why I was considered the crazy one here. One of the voices responded with 'cause you suck', while another helpfully supplied, 'purple'. In careful review of the responses I'm getting, I can conclude with certainty that the voices in my head are complete assholes. Their responses make it easier to accept that others would classify me as insane. 'Accepting it… doesn't mean I… agree,' was helpfully pointed out to me by a voice. It was true enough.

"Alright, everyone! Listen up!" shouted one of the Chunin by the doors. His voice was loud, but not overbearing, and it carried well over the crowd of rambunctious children who were generally squealing in their high pitched voices. I assumed the ninja accomplished this by using chakra. Filthy ninja magic.

"Everyone! Listen!" the Chunin cried out again. By this point, the restless crowd of preteen killer wannabe's had quieted down and were paying attention to the line of men and women standing at the front of the crowd. "Each of you have been assigned to a specific classroom. One of these men or women who stand here today will be your sensei from now until you graduate. You will find out who among these seventeen will be your sensei once you get to your classroom. You should have received a scroll upon confirmation that you were accepted to the academy. That scroll will have your room assignment and you will proceed to that room when we open the doors in just a moment." The Chunin paused as a wave of excited chattering overtook the crowd of 500 or so six year olds. "Hey!" the man shouted. "Listen up, or we'll be here all day!" The crowd quieted down. "First, some ground rules. One: There will be no running, pushing, or fighting of any kind in the halls. Two: Don't be afraid to ask for directions if you get lost, because this building is pretty big. And finally, three: Don't be late. A Konoha shinobi is never, ever late."

After that, the large red wooden doors opened. The seventeen teachers that had been lined up in front of us vanished in swirling clouds of leaves. Body Flicker… filthy ninja magic.

I had initially wondered where all these kids came from, but as I passed through the crowd I learned something interesting. Many of the kids here were from outside of Konoha. It seems that the shinobi who hail from the Hidden Leaf were drawn from the whole of the Land of Fire. This was interesting. I always assumed it was only Konoha natives that became ninja.

But it made sense, after some thought. Even the voices agreed. There was no way a single village could field over twenty thousand ninja by itself. Each of the larger clans, of which there were less than ten, only produced up to three hundred active ninja at any one time. The greater bulk of shinobi forces had to come from somewhere.

My assigned teacher was, to my great and utter gut wrenching disappointment, _not_ Umino Iruka. I knew this because I passed by room 102, inside of which Iruka stood. I was so broken up about it that one of the voices in my head wrote a haiku about it, only to set it on imaginary fire and wail like a sad little child lost in the woods. Outwardly, I ignored that voice and made my way to room 118.

The room I ended up in look much the same as I remembered from my last life. A set of bench desks arranged into tiers that ascended toward the back wall of the room. This gave each student a perfectly clear view of the front where the teacher would stand, speak and write on the chalkboard at the front of the class. Honestly, it was rather dull looking for a supposed ninja school.

I took a seat near the very back. I did this because as long as I had a view of everyone else in the room, I'd be more or less safe from any unwanted attention. Once I'd situated myself at the desk, I finally looked up at the board and saw… kanji.

One of the voices in my head said something that sounded suspiciously like 'but it's in Japanese!'. I felt like swearing myself, actually. It's true I had to learn how to read and write the native language on my own. It was made all the more difficult because I was a native English speaker. Nevertheless, over year five of my second life, I learned the basics of Japanese.

'Still,' whined the voice, 'kanji… it's evil.'

I could only nod in agreement.

"Hey! You!" I turned to inspect the nimrod who had addressed me. Perhaps it wasn't fair to automatically label someone as a nimrod. But the tone of voice and attitude of just those two words set my initial impression of the speaker in stone. When I saw who it was, I was happy to find that my instincts were correct.

The brown haired, beady-eyed boy was tall for a 6 year old. He was also rather stocky. He was round in the face and abdomen, a byproduct of being overweight. In combination with the rather pricy looking deep blue and green clothes this clown wore, I concluded that this nimrod was the son of a wealthy merchant. In conjunction with that, he was spoiled by said wealthy merchant with a lot of food and probably toys. As an addendum to that assessment, the way that the kid was pointing at me with one chubby finger and attempting to glare made it clear that he was used to getting his way, whether the other party wished to comply or not. In other words, I'd been singled out by the new class bully.

'This is the last time we sit in the… back,' the voice said.

" _What do you want, you fat-ass piece of shit?_ " I asked in perfect English. Being bilingual in a world that has only one language is so awesome. Cursing takes on a whole new meaning when the target has to try and figure out what you just said. Then they have to decide whether they were insulted or not.

Chubby merchant son flapped his lips open and closed as his brain shut down and rebooted several times. I smiled at him and turned to face forward again. By now the room had filled almost to capacity with kids. A lot of them were talking with each other, excited about this or that. It was clear that all of them were dreaming of being something awesome, and finding that something here, at the academy.

And then just as soon as I'd settled back down in my chair, a fat, chubby hand grabbed the front of my shirt and hauled me up. I was brought face to face with the Fatty McChubChub Merchant's Son. I think he was trying to intimidate me by spreading his fat lips and baring his teeth at me while staring at me with narrowed eyes.

'That is the most butt-ugly face in the universe,' said one voice.

'It is certainly a face only a mother could love,' responded another.

'I want to push crayons up his nose and see if he squirts blood from his ears… like a fountain! Weeeee!' I blinked as I erased that last voice's input from my mind. Honestly, it's like they've never been taught how to act in civilized society.

"I don't know what the heck you just said, weirdo," the boy said. "But whatever it was, it sounded like something bad! And my papa said, if anyone ever said anything bad to me, I was to punch them really hard and then take all their money, just like we do to bandits."

I blinked as the boy tightened his fist a little on my shirt, making the material cry out in protest. I see, so he interpreted what I'd said correctly. It wasn't really a setback. The really stupid ones usually did the same. This boy's conclusion didn't say anything good about his mental capacities. Neither did the blank, stupid look in his poorly glaring piggy-eyes.

" _I called you a stupid fat fuck who should go rot in a ditch while I defecate on your corpse_ ," I said, once again in English. Then I switched to Japanese and said, "In other words, hello."

Fat boy blinked, loosened me a little, and then pulled me up to his face to glare at me again. "I… I don't know what you just said…. But it wasn't hello. You retard! Speaking in gibberish is what babies do! You must be even stupider if you can't speak right!"

At that, the whole class erupted into laughter. This brought my and the fat bully's attention to the kids that we shared a room with. They were all staring at us, and now they were all laughing. Probably at me, all things considered. Also, the teacher had yet to arrive.

"What did you want _Fat Ass_?" I asked, mixing languages.

The boy growled and jerked me back and forward. I think I got a little whiplash, but it didn't hurt that much. "I don't know what _faaat assss_ means, but I don't like it. I'm gonna beat the crap out of you. And from now on, don't ever sit in this seat! It's mine, got it! Also, give me all your lunch money. Stupid retard like you don't need money like I do. I'm a refined person with refined tastes."

'Smoke this asshole!' one of the voices shouted.

'I agree. Kick him!' another added.

'Eat the little human. Roast him and toast him and make the most of him.'

I felt the other voices in my head shudder at that last one. Then I felt the collection of voices in my head turn to the one that had spoken last and proceed to beat it to within an inch of its life…. Or my life… whatever. In the end, I agreed with the ass-kicking idea.

I reached up and calmly pushed two fingers into the boy's eyes. The fat kid screamed and let go of me as he reached both hands up to his face and covered his eyes. Really, poking someone in the eyes is a sure way to get them to cover their face up, and blocking their vision. Thus I executed my second attack, which was a swift and brutal kick between his legs.

"I am sorry, but I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request," I said as the boy clutched his 'refined' family jewels. "As I am not in the mood to deal with you at this time. Please leave and see my secretary to schedule your next appointment. Thanks for coming. Bye-bye." I watched as he fell on his back and then rolled down the steps to the bottom of the room.

The boy landed in a heap at the same time as I sat down, looking like nothing had happened. The entire class was silent now, as they watched the twitching form of the fat kid who'd tried to bully me and take my seat. I watched a few of them glance up at me. I smiled and waved back, but they immediately turned away and started whispering to the person sitting next to them.

And that's when the door opened to let in the teacher. She was a tall woman with reddish-brown hair that was cut in a short bob. Dressed in the same manner as all of the other chunin teachers, it was really only by the expression on her face that I could tell she was rather pissed off about something. The way she curled her lip, squinted her dark brown eyes, and scrunched her finely sculpted nose upward all indicated great annoyance. No doubt she'd be even more annoyed with the pile of fat merchant son lying in a heap on the floor.

"What exactly is going on?" our new teacher asked. Her voice was surprisingly soft for someone who looked as pissed off as she did. Then again, perhaps that was some kind of warning to those who knew what pissed off women looked and sounded like. The woman looked up from the groaning kid on the floor and scanned the room. "I asked what was going on! I expect an answer! Now!"

Everyone, even the fat kid on the floor, turned and pointed at me. Despite the feelings of betrayal I was experiencing, a part of me was pleased as punch that the fat kid was whimpering with his head braced on the floor while he clutched his family 'jewels'.

"I saw the one who did it!" I exclaim. Everyone in the class stares at me as if I'd grown another head, but I continue on regardless. "It was another kid, yeah? He was about my height, four foot five maybe. Brown hair, real mess it was. His grey eyes had this wild look in them, like he'd been awake for days without anything to eat! And he was nuts! He kept mumbling to himself and talking to people who weren't even there! After he did that," I pointed down at fatso, "he laughed like a maniac and ran off into the hallway!" Two of the nice voices in my head were laughing when they realized I'd just described myself. I ignored the voice that was crying about how I butchered the execution, since he was a downright dirty critic.

The kunoichi stared at me, along with all the class, before she swept her hand up to her face and moaned into her palm. "There's always one," she moaned. "You," she pointed at me, "stay after class, detention. The rest of you, get in your seats."

Thus began my foray into the educational system of Konoha. I grinned as I took back my seat. Things were looking up!

* * *

A/N: So, I had never heard of Deadpool when I wrote this way back in… several years ago. The inspiration for this came from Eminem's Monster and because I just wanted to write a honest to God crazy kid in to see what would happen. In a world filled with the terminally insane (Obito/Madara/several kage/many others/Might Guy) what would someone like this do to the plot?! Well, this was just the beginning, I had him befriending Naruto cause he's obviously nuts, and only someone nuts would do that. And then the two of them would sweep up the entire academy in their own brands of insanity… not sure where I would have gone with it long term though.

Thanks for reading.

~I.K.A. Valian


	6. All Things Being Equal 1

**All Things Being Equal**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

 _What if Obito had doubts about Madara's plan? How much would everything change if he put a counter plan in motion, in case the Moon's Eye Plan failed, or worse, succeeded beyond all expectations? Honestly, how does he expect one man to stop what could be summed up as the fate of the world?_

* * *

Chapter Zero-Zero-One: _Contingency Plan_

* * *

Tobi stood on a cliff overlooking a vast valley. From one side of the valley to the other, a forest stood, swaying in the evening breeze like a river. The sun, on the horizon, cast a burned orange light upon the valley forest. The air was cooling from the mid day high, making it comfortable to just stand on the edge of the cliff and stare out at nature.

Truly, it was peaceful everywhere Tobi looked. Everywhere, that is, with the exception of inside of his own heart. Ever since Rin died, his heart has cried out in anguish. What did this world hold for him anymore but reminders of a life he could never have. A life he was denied, as if fate itself had deigned it so. And even if he denied it was fate, the system of governments that ruled the world could be blamed just as easily.

Kakashi always made him look bad. Weak. Rin never saw him, even when she looked straight at him. She only ever had eyes for Kakashi. And if he were honest with himself, he had been an idiotic and blind dreamer who really did suck at being a ninja. Now that his dream had been destroyed, ripped to shreds by reality, he no longer had any delusions.

He saw the world as it truly was now. Everywhere he looked, he saw death, despair, ugliness, and agony. Without any of his childish foolishness holding him back, he'd excelled. He'd pushed himself beyond any scope of power he'd ever dreamed of ascending to. Now, he could challenge and defeat out of hand his old teacher.

Tobi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was almost time now. His old sensei, Minato, was in the middle of the forest. He could sense the Fourth Hokage from where he stood on the edge of the cliff. After spending so much time with the man during the Third Shinobi War, he'd be able to find that man's chakra signature from the other side of the planet.

When he activates his own special Sharingan ability, he'll bypass the barriers and move straight into the inner sanctuary of the birthing chamber. Giving birth would weaken the seal holding his prize at bay, weak enough for him to 'liberate' it from captivity. When that was done, he'd set his new minion upon his old village. That cesspool of disease and suffering would be wiped from the face of the planet in a wave of violence so great that it would practically ensure that Madara's plan would succeed. With Konohagakure out of the picture, there was practically no one capable of stopping the plan.

So then… why had he stopped to stand on this cliff and stare out at the forest? It was peaceful, but the peace and tranquility of nature did not assuage the constant pain of his broken heart. His hate of this world was absolute, and yet, something had made him stop. Why? What was it about this scene that caused a man who'd hardened his heart to the atrocities of this world to pause and take notice?

He had no illusions about what he was going to be doing in the next few minutes. He would be committing mass murder with a weapon the likes of which no living human could combat, at least, not any more. His old clan might, if they hadn't lost that knowledge long ago when they abandoned Madara. The Senju might, if the Mokuton bloodline limit hadn't been lost when Hashirama died. There was no one that could stop the force of nature he was about to unleash, not even the likes of his old sensei could defeat it.

And that's when it struck him. Tobi took in his surrounding once again, considering them in a new light. The cliff, the forest, the valley, the peace. It all reminded him of Rin. The thing that had given him pause was his memory of Rin, and like a specter, a new question creeped into his mind. As if the Shinigami itself were clawing into his brain, he asked himself, what if I'm wrong?

' _So what if I'm wrong_?' he thought. ' _Why would it matter to me_?'

The answer came to him as soon as he'd thought of the question. If he was wrong, then everything he was going to do in the next few moments was going to be the greatest crime in history. If he cared, that would mean something to him, but that wasn't why this was bothering him. This was bothering him because as big as this crime would be, it would be as if he were destroying Rin with his own hands.

 _That_ mattered to him. If this plan failed, if he was on the wrong side of history and Madara's plan didn't work, then all of his coming actions will have been for nothing. All of the suffering he'd inflict on the world would have no meaning. And he'd never be able to face Rin in the afterlife when he finally died. He would be damning his soul to eternal suffering _if_ he was wrong. It was a chance he was willing to take, obviously, but he didn't like taking chances when he had other options available to him.

So that was what had been bothering him. He was worried the plan wouldn't work. Pre-mission jitters nothing more. And yet…

And yet he couldn't shake the feeling that he was about to walk down a path he couldn't walk away from. Once he started this mission he would be committed until the very end. And _if_ he was wrong, then committing ritual suicide wouldn't come close to making up for what he was about to do. He needed an alternative, a back-up plan, or something that would stop this plan if it didn't work… or didn't work how Madara had said it would.

He could use Tsukuyomi, so he knew how it worked. Endless Tsukuyomi only differed by the fact that it was spread out over the entire world and lasted forever, instead of only a few seconds. But it was possible that Madara had lied to him. The old man was as devious as they come and had a long, _long_ time to plan. He trusted Madara about as much as he could trust his pre-Sharingan sight in a genjutsu. All said, it was just as likely Madara had no intention of creating peace and was only grabbing for the greatest power that the world had ever known.

He needed a contingency plan in case everything fell apart. He needed to insure that this plan worked as advertised or didn't happen at all. And, fortunately, while exploring the powers of his Sharingan, he discovered surprising little holes in the fabric of space-time. Holes that only he could see and through which he could see other worlds, galaxies, universes.

Parallel dimensions is what Madara called them. Planes of existence that were copies of this one or completely different. Madara had told him to stay away from the holes. Disturbing them could cause rips in the fabric of reality, destroying everything. Of course, he still held the heart of a boy who snubbed his nose at authority figures, so he messed around with them anyway.

He discovered three techniques. Kamui, which allowed him to send things to a pocket of space-time or pull them back with just a touch. Space-time Migration, which allowed him to, essentially, fold space in half and step from one place to another, even if the destination was on the other side of the planet. And then there was the third technique, which also happened to be the most difficult to control.

His hands flew through the hand seals required for the jutsu. On the final sign, he bit his thumb, and slammed his hand down onto the ground. Simultaneously, he held the desire for a man who could do what he desired squarely in the center of his mind. When his hand hit the ground a summoning array spread out around his hand as if he'd spilled a pitcher of water. When the jutsu started to pull at his Chakra, he pushed half of his total reserve in, knowing that anything less would result in a complete failure of the technique.

"Space-Time Art: Summoning!"

There was a large explosion of smoke on the cliff. Tobi stood and took a step back to wait until the smoke cleared. When it finally was gone, he found a naked man laying on the ground before him. A naked man who looked nothing like himself, as he'd been hoping would be pulled in through the hole in space-time. He couldn't even feel any chakra in this man's body.

Despite his misgivings, the Space-time Summoning had never served him wrong. Ever. He always got what he was looking for. Even if that was an object as mundane as a golf club (he had no clue what it was for, but the word 'golf' was imprinted on the bulbous metal head of the object, and so he just called it a 'golf club'. The Zetsu clones thought it was hilarious).

When he noticed the man beginning to awaken, Tobi tilted his head and smiled despite himself. He wasn't happy, no. It was impossible for him to feel 'happy' anymore. But he was satisfied.

"Wh-where…" the man muttered.

"I have summoned you through time and space," Tobi said. The man tried opening his eyes, but he groaned and shut them again. He looked like he wanted to lift his arms, but his whole body was barely even twitching. Likely a side effect of the summoning. "You will likely be immobile for a few minutes until you have recovered from your travel. Know that you were summoned for a purpose. Your task will be made known to you soon enough. How you go about accomplishing this plan, it up to you. I am unlikely to see you again, but to ensure you survive while you adjust, I will leave a clone here to guard you. The clone will explain your mission. Goodbye."

Tobi made a few more hand signs and watched as a mud clone pulled itself out of the ground. With a nod, Tobi activated Space-time Migration and stepped straight into the birthing chamber. A crying blond baby boy lay on the floor. His old teacher and his wife not too far away. Nurses and other attendants close by. ANBU, already streaking across the room to kill him.

It was time to begin.

* * *

A/N: Another attempt at making a viable SI. In this one, I attempted to create a plausible reason for an out of world entity to enter the shinobi world. Nothing more plausible than a villain making plans, I say. And he has a purpose, too. Also, Obito always struck me as a kind of noble idiot who was shat upon by the entire world. With Madara and Zetsu pulling his strings, it would be impossible for him to do things how he would do them (probably go on a rampage with the Biju under mind control, but who knows). I think of this as poor obitobi's last gasp at independence from Madara's control. Also, the whole idea of space-time ninjutsu didn't really seem to be explored very much in the manga, so I wanted to explore that here too.

Anywho, that's this one done. Leave a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	7. Evil's Bane 1

_The Legend of Zelda_ is owned by Nintendo.

 _Naruto_ is owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

 **Evil's Bane**

* * *

Chapter One: _Explosion_

The hurried footsteps of one small eight year old as he ran through the darkened back streets of the Konohagakure was the only sound that broke the silence of night. This night would be important for the future of Konoha, and of the young man racing through the backstreets. At least he thought so.

Held tightly in one grimy little hand was a paint brush covered in orange paint. In the other hand was gripped the handle of a metal bucket half full of orange paint. As the boy raced through the darkness of the back streets, his imagination was filled with the images of how scandalized the villagers would be. They would be so utterly and completely shocked by his actions that they'd have to actually look at him with something other than those cold piercing glares that he always got. As he sped down one alley and then the next, it was all he could do to keep himself from chuckling out loud.

He didn't want to get caught.

The target this time was some jerk in a store that had decided that taking his money without letting him buy anything wasn't enough. No, the old hag just had to grab him by the back of his shirt and throw him out the door. She must have been a ninja when she was younger, because she added to his prodigious flight speed with a firm kick in his rear.

The villagers walking around outside at the time started laughing when he flew straight into a heaping pile of rotting garbage. He'd been humiliated and angry at that, but at the same time, thankful that they weren't giving him the cold look they always did. It still hurt though, that everyone laughing was happy he had been hurt and smelled like something that crawled out of the sewer. Hell, he had been down there before, and he knew that he did smell like he'd just crawled out of the sewer.

But tonight, he'd get his revenge. Sweet, sweet revenge. When that old hag came to work in a few hours, he hoped she would have a heart attack when she saw his revenge. Maybe the villagers would start laughing at her when the final part of his attack was implemented. The store wouldn't be the only thing orange, oh no. Besides, the old hag seemed to hate the color, which was a perfectly good ninja color. Who _didn't_ like orange? Well, she'd be finding a healthy appreciation of it soon. Real soon.

The young boy stopped as he came to the end of the alley he'd been running down. This was the most dangerous part. He had to cross the street, which was well lit. He knew that there were patrols of ninja, both chunin and ANBU, that used this street on their way back to the Hokage Tower, which you'd run into if you followed this road all the way across Konoha. If he ran out into the street, with a bucket of orange paint and a paint brush, they'd stop him and drag him to see Old Man Hokage. He'd already been caught enough times to make the ninja population know that an Uzumaki Naruto with a paint brush was not an Uzumaki Naruto on a harmless painting project.

So it was with the utmost care that Naruto peeked out from the shadows. He looked both ways down the street and found that it was completely empty. That didn't mean that there weren't ninja there, because ninja weren't seen unless they wanted to be. Naruto forced his nerves to calm as he waited in the shadows, watching the road. He waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, after what felt like forever to the young eight year old, Naruto dared to make the crossing.

Naruto dashed out of the alley like a bat out of hell with a maniacal grin on his face. The store was right in front of him and the front door would be his first victim. He breathed out as he skidded to a stop in front of the door, made a quick and deadly slash at the door with the brush in his hand, and took half a second to admire the ugly orange streak marring the red painted wood.

And then, out of the blue, as if fate had chosen that moment to throw a wrench into the works, a man's body was blown out of the second story window right above Naruto head. Naruto spun around in shock, his eyes wide and his body frozen. Excuses and pleas for mercy had already bubbled to the forefront of his mind but died in his throat.

Where he expected to find an angry ninja, crashing his party, he instead found the mangled corpse of a very dead ninja. This situation made no sense and for half a second, Naruto wasn't sure what he was seeing. He took a step forward, and then the world erupted into fire.

The building Naruto had targeted exploded in a ball of fire large and bright enough to be seen from twenty miles outside of the village walls. The force of the explosion disintegrated the buildings around it, and the set of buildings beyond that. It flattened several more buildings beyond even that and shattered the glass windows of all the buildings all the way up to the Hokage's office. The ball of fire rose into the sky like a vengeful god, roaring as it rose above the carnage it had caused.

So high and so bright was the fireball, that ninja who were on missions just outside the village saw it and, fearing the village was under attack, immediately made for home. Any of the ninja on duty close to the explosion were knocked from their feet, should they have not reacted fast enough to anchor themselves to the ground chakra fast enough. Those that did stay on their feet, immediately bounded toward ground zero once the shockwave had passed.

The fantastically loud boom that chased the explosion shattered any of the windows that hadn't been destroyed by the initial shockwave of energy. It also ruptured the eardrums of anyone too close and essentially woke up every one in the village who'd had the misfortune of going to sleep that night. The village was fortunate that the explosion took place in a district dominated by shops and industrial buildings. Very few people were killed by the explosion.

The average person would have died were they at the epicenter of the explosion or in the surrounding buildings. Their bodies, had they been there, would have been blown into many pieces by the shockwave of the explosion and sent far off into the distance. They'd be deader than dead at that point. Uzumaki Naruto, fortunately, was not your average person.

Rather than being killed, blown apart, or destroyed in anyway, Naruto had been lifted up by the shockwave and thrown with all the vigor that the explosion contained off into the distance. He and several other pieces of debris landed several miles outside the walls of Konoha on the opposite side of the village that the explosion had taken place in.

Even before he'd landed, Naruto had healed completely the patches of skin that had been torn off and the muscle that had been liquidated. His spine had been completely replaced by new bone, nerve, and muscle. When Uzumaki Naruto crashed to the forest floor, he was as whole as he'd been when the explosion had gone off. Whole and covered in a shroud of red chakra.

Naruto, lost in the bestial instinct that was the Nine-tailed Demon Fox, now had claws, sharper senses, fangs, and vertically slit-red eyes. He jerked his head right, and then left. There was no conscious thought. Only instinct. Naruto was in danger. He'd been attacked. He needed to survive. He needed to flee. Flee to survive.

Naruto looked behind him, saw the fire ball still hovering in the sky like an angry omen, and tore off in the opposite direction on all fours. His claws dug into whatever surface he landed on and propelled him forward at such an incredible speed. Were he conscious for the action, the eight year old would have whooped for joy at the exhilaration of sheer speed. As it was, he was consumed with his self preservation instinct and could only feel the gut wrenching desire to live propelling him forward so fast that everything around him was a blur.

He got as far as ten kilometers before a fire ball streaked down from the sky and smashed into the ground. Wreckage, thrown higher and father into the sky from the explosion was just now raining down across the landscape. Naruto skidded to a halt and growled at the small crater.

After sniffing the air, Naruto stopped growling and furtively crept forward. Every few feet, he raised his head to sniff again. When he finally reached the edge of the crater, which couldn't have been more than five feet across, there was an explosion of white energy.

Having already experienced enough explosions in recent memory, Naruto reared back to escape. He was stopped in his tracks by the white energy that continued to be emitted by the object at the center of the crater. Naruto tried to push himself away, but the light got brighter and brighter until everything went white. And then the raging desire to survive subsided, the red cloak of chakra faded, and Uzumaki Naruto passed out in the middle of the deep forest around Konoha.

* * *

A lone figure stood atop a mountain. In the far distance, he watched a ball of fire rise up into the sky. The figure grinned.

"It has begun."

* * *

A/N: So this was a fun little attempt of mine to bring LoZ elements into the Naruto universe. While this may not seem like there's much LoZ involved here in this chapter, I'll have you know that the inspiration for the object that fell out of the sky and purified Naruto's chakra cloak happened to come from a similar scene portrayed in Twilight Princess. Those of you who've played the game likely know what I mean! *nudge nudge*

Drop a review and let me know what you think.

~I.K.A. Valian


	8. A Touch of Death 2

**A Touch of Death**

By: I.K.A. Valian

Chapter Two: _He's a Ninja Now_

* * *

Summary

Uzumaki Naruto was blessed three times the day he was born. His father blessed him with the power of human sacrifice. His mother blessed him with her love. The Shinigami blessed him with a shard of his own soul.

A Soul Blade.

* * *

Last Time

Naruto bombed the Genin test at the academy for a third time. Heavily disappointed and discouraged, Naruto began to despair until sly-faced Mizuki cheered him up. The ninja-sensei told Naruto about a Secret Test that he could take for the chance to become a Badass Genin. Naruto, excited by the prospect of increasing his badassitude, raced off to become a Genin, but the Secret Test was in fact a Secret Trap.

Naruto stole the Forbidden Scroll of Seals, a collection of techniques so dangerous that the most awesome Hokage ever, Senju Hashirama, sealed them up faster than his pimp mobile picked up enemy kunoichi. According to Mizuki, Naruto had to learn one jutsu (all of which are inherently too badass for a normal genin to learn) from the scroll in order to 'pass' the test. Inside the scroll of epic win, however, Naruto found a seal with his name on it. Inside the seal was a sword that had seen better days; it was a piece of junk.

After mastering the first jutsu he could find like a boss, his other teacher, Umino Iruka, found Naruto. Mizuki confronted the two, revealing he used Naruto and completed his betrayal by revealing to Naruto he was the Demon Fox that had nearly destroyed the Leaf twelve years prior. The deranged man somehow thought trying to kill a kid he believed was the fox itself was an actually possible thing to do. Then Mizuki learned that Uzumaki Naruto is a badass boss Hokage in training… and he can cut people's hands off with his new BAMF Soul Blade. However, the timely intervention of the ANBU saved Iruka's life and stopped Mizuki from doing any more damage.

Now, Naruto must face the music. The head honcho has called him for an audience. The Sandaime Hokage awaits…

* * *

Naruto awoke with a start. He quickly realized that he wasn't in the hospital or his home. In fact, he easily identified the comfy couch along the wall inside of the Hokage's office. "What am I doing here?"

"A reasonable question, Naruto." Naruto froze when he heard those words. Not that the words were shocking, but the person speaking was rather like a grandfather figure to him. A grandfather figure he'd just hours before left unconscious on the floor. Naruto looked to his right and saw the Hokage standing in the doorway. "However, I should think your first question would be: How much trouble am I in now?"

"W-wait!" Naruto shouted, getting to his feet. "Old Man! I can explain! It was all Mizuki-teme's fault! I swear! He said I could graduatebystealingthe-"

"Naruto, Naruto," the Hokage said, laying a hand down on the boy's shoulder. "Calm down. I know why you stole the Forbidden Scroll of Seals. I know all about what happened in the forest _and_ what was said while you were there."

"You know?" Naruto squeaked, going as white as a sheet. Then as memories from the confrontation with Mizuki filtered back into his mind, Naruto's expression dropped and he shifted his gaze to the floor. "You knew."

"Yes, Naruto," the Hokage said. He tilted the boy's head back to look into his eyes. "I have always known. And not once did I ever think of you as a demon. You are Uzumaki Naruto. The demon, is the demon. He is a prisoner, you are his jailor. It's not possible for you two to be the same being."

"I…" Tears started to gather in his eyes. Naruto blinked and quickly rubbed the tears away on his sleeve. When he was sure his eyes would stay dry and his emotions were back in check, Naruto looked back up at the old man. "Are you sure… Mizuki-teme said-"

"I'm aware of what Mizuki said," the Hokage said. "And he was wrong about you being the fox itself. I think of you as a hero. You keep the village safe every single day with every single breath you take. As long as you are alive, the fox can never get out and can never hurt anyone ever again."

"Y-yeah!" Naruto hesitantly nodded. Then, with strengthened resolve, he nodded. "Yeah, that's right! I _am_ a hero! No stupid fox is gonna hurt anyone while I'm around! Dattebayo!"

The Hokage grinned. "I'm glad you feel that way. Come, I have something for you." The Hokage moved away toward his desk. As he sat down in his chair, he said, "Well actually, it's something Iruka wanted to give to you, but he's recovering from his wounds in the hospital right now." Having said that, the Hokage pulled open a drawer and picked up a blue bundle. With a small toss, the bundle was thrust into Naruto's hands.

Naruto fumbled with the blue cloth until he got a good grip on it. He unwrapped the cloth to find that it was a forehead protector. Unlike the new ones that the other kids had gotten, this one was scuffed, not as shiny, scratched up, and had several gashes in the metal. Obviously, this thing had seen some use.

"H-hey!" Naruto shouted. "Why's this thing so dinged up… Oh wait! This means…. I'm a Ninja! I graduated! Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Thank you!" Naruto launched himself at the Hokage and hugged him as tight as he could. "Thank you!" Naruto shouted. Then he let go of the Hokage and started bouncing up and down and all around the old man's office. Every time he reached the peak of one of his bounces, he would shriek, "Thank you! Thank you!"

The Hokage laughed as he watched Naruto. After a few moments, the old man sat down in his chair and motioned for Naruto to put the forehead protector on. Naruto carefully pulled off his goggles. Then he reached up with the forehead protector in his hands and tied it securely in the place where once only his goggles had resided. Once complete, the Hokage grinned at the boy, who grinned right back.

Naruto grinned because he'd finally achieved one of his dreams. The only thing left was to become Hokage. Now that he'd gotten this far, it seemed like the hard part was over. He didn't think anyone else had to go through so much just to _graduate._

The Hokage grinned because he was both happy for Naruto and because he knew that the boy's parents would be proud of how he'd handled himself up to this point. Saving Iruka and defeating Mizuki was just the icing on the cake, really. Internally, the Hokage tried to imagine how much harder Naruto's path would become now. But after a quick glance down _that_ road, he shoved those future visions aside. There was no sense thinking about such horrible things during such a happy moment.

"Hmm," the Hokage hummed as he turned Naruto back and forth, as if inspecting him. "I suppose, you'll do," he said with a chuckle.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, throwing his hands up and backing off. He pouted, clearly fake insulted, and crossed his arms in front of him. "You can't treat me like that, I'm going to be Hokage. You should treat the future Hokage with more respect. Dattebayo!"

"Oh, well excuse me, Lord Hokage," the Hokage said with mock deference. He bowed low as if the old man were nothing but a lowly street beggar. "Please forgive me, oh high and mighty one!"

"Well…" Naruto exaggeratedly rolled his eyes as if he were being put upon. "I suppose I could… you know, cause you're old and stuff."

The Hokage laughed and ruffled Naruto's hair.

* * *

Naruto took a peek around the corner of the door. Hospitals creeped the boy out, mostly because of the fact that it smelled horrible, but also because of how the doctors and nurses never really liked him. That dislike, however, wouldn't stop him from visiting his favorite person.

Iruka didn't take long to notice Naruto peeking around the door frame. "Naruto," Iruka called out from his bed. His wounds still hurt, like all jutsu healed wounds did, but he wasn't incapacitated. He was only in the hospital as a formality, mostly. He'd probably be released tomorrow, with heavy bandages and a prescription to ' _take it easy_ '. Most shinobi knew the drill by time they made Chunin.

Naruto gasped lightly. He'd been found out. Swallowing his apprehension, Naruto walked calmly into the room as if he'd just arrived. "Iruka-sensei! H-how are you feeling?"

"I feel fine, Naruto," Iruka said. He grinned at the boy who'd saved his life, and in turn, whose life he had saved. "Thanks to you. How do you like being a Ninja?"

Naruto grinned. "It's totally awesome! I'm going to be Hokage in no time!"

"Naruto," Iruka said, his voice taking on the tone he used in class. "Your journey is just beginning now. You can't go goofing off all the time anymore. You've got to take your job seriously."

Naruto rolled his eyes and scowled. "I know that," he spat. "Come on, Iruka-sensei! Stop treating me like a kid! I saved your life, remember!"

"Gah…" Iruka shook his head. "Naruto…"

Naruto watched Iruka watch him back. As the seconds of silence stretched out, the irritated scowl on the boy's face dropped off as he became concerned. Why was his teacher staring at him like that.

"Wh-what?" Naruto asked. "Is there something on my face?"

Iruka smiled softly and shook his head. "No. You really have grown up. But you're still only twelve. I guess I can't help treating you like a little brother."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, his scowl back in full force. "I'm not short! And so what if I'm twelve. I'm a ninja now!"

"Yeah yeah," Iruka said with a roll of his eyes. "I can't leave here for a while, so we can't go to celebrate your graduation at Ichiraku's till tomorrow. Think you can wait that long?"

"Oh yeah!" Naruto shouted with a fist pump. "I can wait for Free Ramen!" Iruka winced, imagining his wallet's soul ascending to heaven with little wings and a halo above it. "Hey, speaking of which," Naruto continued, "I'm starving. I think I'm going to go get me some Ramen right now. See ya later, Iruka-sensei."

Before Naruto could escape the room, Iruka called out. "Naruto, take good care of that forehead protector," he said. "It was my father's."

Naruto spun around and gave Iruka a thumbs-up with one hand while holding onto the band of metal strapped to his forehead. "You got it, Iruka-sensei!" Spinning on his heel, Naruto charged off with a shout of "Ramen!"

Iruka snorted and slumped back into the bed.

* * *

There was a knock at the door.

"Come," the Hokage called out.

The door opened to admit two people. One was a blond haired ANBU wearing an owl mask. The other was a laid back, silver haired Jounin with his face stuck inside the pages of a little orange book, known more fondly as Hatake Kakashi.

"Please close the door," the Hokage said. Once that was done and the two ninja had taken their position in front of the Hokage's desk, the old man gave a slight sigh. "I'm sure you've heard about the scroll incident."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Owl said.

"I may have heard a thing or two..." Kakashi said as he tilted his head to the side. "Something about Mizuki getting an academy student to sneak into your residence and knocking you out so he could steal the Forbidden Scroll. I was curious how that could happen..."

The old man coughed into his fist, "Yes, well, I was caught by surprise. But that's not why I brought two here. What do you two know about the Soul Sword?"

"I'm afraid I've only heard rumors, Hokage-sama," Owl said. "A sword said to be bonded to the soul of a person. Or a sword that is formed from someone's soul. It's supposedly capable of becoming as powerful as a shinobi is, despite being a sword. In accordance with that, the Seven Swords made famous by the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist are said to be Soul Swords. That's all I know."

"I've heard similar rumors," Kakashi said. "Though I know that the Seven Swords are not Soul Swords. Supposedly, the Raijin wielded by the Second Hokage was a Soul Sword. There was also some sword, I believe, called the Dragon Sword..." Kakashi fell silent as a look of concentration came over his features, limited as they were. "Oh," his face brightened up as the answer he was looking for came to him. "That's right. The White Fang was a soul blade too. Until it broke during the Third War, at any rate."

Owl was looking at Kakashi. It was hard to tell with the porcelain face mask, but from the man's body language, he appeared to be in awe. Hatake Kakashi, son of Konoha's White Fang (disgraced), known as the Copy-Cat Ninja, former member and renown captain of ANBU, was a wielder of such a rare blade? The man had more mysteries around him than an island was surrounded by water.

"Mn," the Hokage hummed in agreement. "The reason I bring this subject up is because there was another Soul Sword created twelve years ago, during the Nine-tails incident. Specifically, the Jinchuriki of the Nine-tails Uzumaki Naruto was given one when the Fourth gave up his soul to the Shinigami in order to seal away the Biju. When we found the boy, we didn't realize the significance of the sword and had left it on the battlefield. When it later showed up in the same crib as Naruto. No matter who took it away or how far it was taken, the sword somehow moved itself next to the boy."

"Forgive me for interupting, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said, "but I'm a bit familiar with Naruto and I've never seen a sword by or near Naruto, Soul Sword or not."

"Yes," the Hokage said, "that's because the elders and I agreed that it would be a bad idea for a sword of all things to be kept near the infant. Once we figured out what we were dealing with, I had Jiraiya create the most powerful space-time seal he could create that put the sword into a kind of suspended animation. Anything less powerful wouldn't have been capable of holding the sword back. Believe me, we tried. The seal was on the Scroll of Seals... which young Naruto opened yesterday evening. The first thing the boy did was unleash the sword."

"Is there any danger?" Owl asked.

"No," the Hokage said. "Naruto himself didn't even realize the significance of the blade. However, he did use it to cut straight through Mizuki's Shuriken and hand in one swing. No one until Naruto has ever been capable of doing more than withdrawing the blade an inch from the sheath, and as such, no one knew what the blade was capable of, besides standard kenjutsu. Based off of the evidence, it's probable that the sword is either wind or lightning natured, or perhaps both. After the ANBU caught up with them, they stopped the bleeding of all parties and revived Iruka-kun. When they brought Naruto up here, to my office, he had the sword clutched in his hand. When Naruto woke up, he didn't even realize that the sword had attached itself over his shoulder. I believe it would be pointless to reseal the sword again, in light of how it helped to defend Naruto. This brings me to why I asked for the two of you here. Kakashi, you're slated to be the boy's Jounin Sensei. I would like you to take extra care in dealing with Naruto and that sword. Give him the basics of Kenjutsu so he doesn't accidentally do something he'll come to regret, like cutting his fingers off."

"I have no problem with that, should he and his team pass my test," Kakashi said.

"Owl," the Hokage said, causing the ANBU to straighten slightly. "I'm assigning you to watch Naruto and the sword. Study what it does and how it works, however, do not let him know you're watching. I expect a report on what you've observed by the beginning of the Chunin Exams."

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Owl said.

"Very good," the Hokage said. "Dismissed."

* * *

While sitting at Ichiraku's Ramen Bar, Naruto held the dinged up forehead protector in his hands almost reverently. He carefully polished its surface with his sleeve until it was reflecting his face off of it as clear as day. Teuchi, the old man who cooked and served the ramen, grinned at his favorite customer, despite the boy not eating at the moment. He'd already served the kid eleven bowls, bought and paid for, so a little time to work on cleaning his forehead protector wasn't out of the question.

"Naruto." The boy looked up in askance at the teenage girl working next to Teuchi, his daughter, Ayame. She was staring down forehead protector that Naruto held like it was a sacred object. "Why did they give you such an old beat up forehead protector when you graduated? I thought all graduates got new ones."

Naruto shook his head and grinned as he held up the metal plate. "This one is special! It was given to me by Iruka-sensei! He said it was his dad's, so I'm going to take extra special care of it."

"Oh, I see," Ayame said. "That was really nice of him."

"Hehe," Naruto chuckled. "I know. But he said he thinks of me as his little brother. So I guess this is like inheriting something from a parent I didn't know. That makes it even more awesome!"

"Oh wow…" Ayame looked away for a moment as a sad look overcame her features. When she looked back at Naruto, she frowned. "Naruto… where did that sword come from?"

"Huh?" Naruto looked over his shoulder, where Ayame was pointing, and found the hilt of that 'Soul Blade'. His eyes widened when he realized that he hadn't even known it was there. "That's… that sword. Where did it come from? It wasn't there before!"

"Naruto," Ayame said. Her brow was creased with worry. "You shouldn't be playing with sword before you know how to use one!"

"Ayame-chan, leave the poor boy alone," Teuchi said. "So he has a sword. He hasn't cut anything off, so I'd say he know what he's doing." The old man turned to Naruto with a mischievous grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "Right, Naruto?"

"Err…" Naruto noticed the look Teuchi was giving him and then quickly joined in the situation by nodded, his expression serious. He did his best impression of the Uchiha-Bastard, minus the scowl, and nodded. "Yeah, of course. I'm just that awesome."

"Oh, you two…" Ayame steamed. Finally she threw her hands up into the air, and let out a soft, frustrated grunt. "Honestly, it's like all men are fascinated with sharp, pointy objects that can slice their hands off." Quickly rounding on Naruto, Ayame leveled her soup ladle at him and said, "Naruto! You be careful with that sword! Do you hear me? I don't want to worry about someone _I_ think of as a little brother!"

Naruto's eyes were wide, but not from fear. He swallowed back the lump forming in his throat and nodded. He put on the best happy grin he could and quickly found that there was already one on his face. When had that happened? "Of course, big sis," Naruto said, if only to emphasis his acceptance of her concern as well as the addition to people thinking of him that closely. "You don't have to worry about a thing!"

The edges of her lips were tugging up, but Ayame let off a frustrated growl and spun around. She quickly disappeared into the back room of the restaurant. Teuchi quickly leaned forward over the bar.

"Between you and me, I think she can do more with that ladle than most people can do with a sword," the old man said. "I get scared just imagining it." Naruto shuddered as he nodded in agreement. Ayame _did_ happen to make a ladle look life threatening.

* * *

 _The next day..._

"Are you sure you want it like this?"

"Yeah, yeah, just take the picture."

The photographer sighed. "If you say so. Say cheese."

Flash!

* * *

The Hokage sat behind a desk in the Academy, going through registration papers for the new Genin that had just graduated. He enjoyed talking to each of the children and getting to know them a little when they handed in their papers. Seated next to him was one of his administration chunin assistants who was processing all the other paperwork that was involved with adding ninjas to the roster of Konoha. On the other side of the desk was the present cause for his exasperation.

"Naruto," the Hokage said as he looked back and forth between the devilish image of a Naruto with war paint of some… wacky variety attached to the registration form and the boy seated before him. There were squiggly red lines of paint overtop a white base covering the boy's face, which appeared to be grimacing in constipation, which to his eye made Naruto appear like a very bad Kabuki actor with very bad make-up. The old man wanted to say something else, but once again, Naruto had him at a loss for words. This was just ridiculous.

"It's awesome isn't it?" the boy asked. He leaned back in his chair with the airs of a cat that'd caught the mouse and its canary brother and was completely satisfied with a job well done. "It took me forever to get the war paint right."

With a grunt, the Hokage put the paper down on the desk and slid it toward Naruto. "Take it again," he said, picking up the next sheet.

Naruto, by now leaning back in the chair so that the front two legs were off the ground, shouted with surprise and leaned forward again. "Wh-but it took me three hours to get that down!" the boy protested. The Hokage glanced at Naruto and the boy fell silent.

"This picture is going to go into Konoha's Ninja Registration Book," the Hokage said. "You can't have a picture this ridiculous in such a serious document. You need to take your position more seriously. And where's your forehead protector?"

"I don't understand this stuff," Naruto complained. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked off to the side of the room. The Hokage rolled his eyes again.

"And the head plate?" the old man asked.

"Oh yeah," Naruto said, "I'm saving that for tomorrow's ceremony. I don't want it to get scratched any more than it already is." Naruto's attention was drawn to the door when it made a soft creak, as if someone were trying to open it quietly and the door had rebelled by being extremely loud and in need of oil. Seeing as stealth was now no longer applicable, the door burst open and small kid wearing a long scarf leaped into the room.

Pointing dramatically at the Hokage, the kid's scarf flaring in the air behind him, the kid screamed, "I got you now, Old Man! Fight me!" The kid took one step forward and then continued forward to smash his face into the floor.

' _This kid's an idiot,_ ' Naruto thought. He noticed the Hokage pulling his hat down a little bit further while he tried to surpass whatever emotions were moving around underneath his aged visage.

"Who tripped me!" the kid shouted. He jumped back to his feet and showed the world his little red nose. "Who set such a devious trap!"

"Honorable Grandson!" came a shout from down the hallway.

The so called 'honorable grandson' turned and immediately set his sights onto Naruto. Naruto remained still as he arched one of his eyebrows. The boy pointed dramatically at Naruto just as a man appeared in the doorway.

"It was you who tripped me with your devious trap!" the kid shouted.

Naruto felt a well of anger fill his gut as the man who entered behind the little kid said, "There was no trap, Honorable Grandson." Naruto glanced at the man. Despite the dark sunglasses the man wore, he could still see the ice cold glare being directed at him. His good mood thoroughly destroyed, Naruto stood up and started to leave.

"Hey!" the kid shouted and got in front of Naruto. Naruto, being in no mood for this crap, grabbed the kid by the front of his shirt and lifted him until they were nose to nose. "I know you did something!"

"I didn't do shit," Naruto growled. "You tripped on your own damn scarf!"

"Liar!" the kid shouted.

"What do you think you are doing?!" shouted Sunglasses. "Put down the Hokage's Grandson this instant!" Naruto glanced at the man shouting at him before he turned back to the little kid. There, he found a knowing smug look that pretty much said, 'yeah, know your place, worm.'

Naruto put the kid down, and then literally put the kid down by planting his fist into the kid's head. The younger boy was given a personal introduction to the floor by the blow. At the same time, Naruto shouted, "You think I give a damn who you are?!"

His ire sated, for the moment, Naruto stalked out of the room past the gaping glasses man and the stoic Hokage.

* * *

Naruto calmly walked down the road with his hands behind his head and the fingers of his left hand subconsciously playing over the hilt of his sword. It was a nice and sunny day out. The air wasn't too hot, actually the air was cool and there was a nice breeze. Combined with the sun, it was perfect. Were it not for the annoying pitter patter of obnoxiously obvious feet following him, Naruto would probably be grinning right now.

Naruto stopped and turned around. He easily spotted the two chubby fingered hands holding up a sheet of camouflage paper with a wooden fence motif. Standing out was the fact that this part of the fence was turned horizontal, conflicting with the vertical fence boards all around it.

"Alright, you idiot!" Naruto shouted. "Why the hell are you following me? And you should drop that disguise, it's not fooling anyone!"

The sheet of horizontal fencing slowly lowered to reveal the smug look on that stupid kid. "Hehe, you saw right through my disguise," the kid said. "The rumors about you are true."

"You're cramping my style, kid," Naruto said with a shooing motion. "Beat it."

"Hey!" the kid said, running forward to stand in front of Naruto. "Hey, if I let you be my Boss, will you teach me the Sexy Jutsu you used to beat my Grandpa?! Please?! Boss!"

"Boss?" Naruto said softly, as if sounding out the word to see how it felt.

"Yeah!" the kid shouted. "You're my boss now! So teach me the Sexy Jutsu!"

"Hmm…" Naruto tilted his head to the side as he considered the kid before him. "I guess I could teach you… but you gotta do everything I tell you to."

"Right, Boss!" the kid said, standing straight and saluting. "Ready and waiting!"

Naruto grinned. Maybe having a kid to boss around for today wouldn't be so bad. He turned and motioned for the little kid to follow.

* * *

"Kyaaaa!"

"Perverts!"

"They're running away! Get them!"

Naruto and Konohamaru shot out of the bathhouse like two bats out of hell. They made a quick escape into the forest and disappeared before any of the now pissed off kunoichi could catch them.

* * *

"Alright," Naruto said. "Now you just gotta take what you saw in the bathhouse and transform into an original girl."

"Like this?" Konohamaru asked. He put his hands together into a concentration seal. "Transform!"

"No, no!" Naruto shouted at the obese woman with fat lips and eyebrows so thick that they appeared ready to crawl off her face. "More slender! More beautiful!" Konohamaru transformed back and nodded. "Do it again!" Naruto commanded.

"Yes boss! Transform!"

* * *

Naruto sat on a log as he and his young charge shared a drink during a break in their work. Naruto glanced over at the kid and a question popped into his head. "Hey." When he saw that he had the kid's attention, he asked, "Why are you going after your grandpa so much?"

A great sigh escaped the kid. "Grandpa named me Konohamaru after the village." Konohamaru lifted his head and sighed again. "But no one calls me that. Everyone calls me Honored Grandson or the Grandson of the Third. I'm sick of it! I want people to see me for who I really am! That's why I want to defeat my Grandpa, so I can become Hokage and then everyone will respect me for who I am."

Naruto's eyebrows rose as he listened to the story. It sounded familiar and it should. It was practically his story. Sure, Konohamaru didn't have a giant demon fox sealed into his bellybutton, but the kid was only recognized for who he was related to. Still… something about this rubbed him the wrong way.

"Idiot!" Naruto said, deciding to go with his gut.

"Huh?" Konohamaru turned to Naruto, shock evident on his face.

"Who would acknowledge a punk like you?" Naruto asked. "The Hokage name isn't something that so easy to get. People you care about die when you're the Hokage." The memory of looking down at Iruka lying in a puddle of his own blood flashed through Naruto's mind. Naruto grimaced and pushed the image out of his mind. "And there's nothing you can do about it either because you have to worry about protecting the whole village. You have to be stronger than everyone else to make sure no one dies."

"Sh-shut up!" Konohamaru shouted. "What do you know?! I'm going to be Hokage! I swear it!"

"Heh, if you want to be Hokage so much then there's something you're going to have to do first," Naruto said. He then gave Konohamaru a wide eyed grin as he said, "You're going to have to beat me!"

"I finally found you!" Both boys looked up to see the glasses wearing man glaring down at them. Naruto, in particular, noticed the icy glare since it was directed at him. "Honored Grandson, come! We must go! You've spent too much time in the presence of this ruffian!"

"No way, Ebisu!" Konohamaru shouted. "I'm going to defeat Grandpa and become Hokage right now! Don't get in my way!"

Ebisu just laughed haughtily. "A Hokage must be well versed in all aspects of being a ninja. He must master over a thousand jutsu and-huh?"

"Transform!"

An eruption of chakra vapor covered Konohamaru. When it cleared, revealed was a buxom, teenage brunette with a heart shaped face, an hourglass figure, and a pouty expression that could drive any red-blooded man wild. Ebisu choked and then began to sputter.

"Wh-wh-what kind of vulgar skill is that!" Ebisu screeched in a high pitched voice. He pointed a shaking finger at the pouting nude brunette.

Konohamaru transformed back. With an upset frown, he asked, "Why didn't it work?"

"I am a gentleman!" Ebisu shouted in an even higher pitched voice. "Such a super low class skill would never work against someone of my abilities!" Ebisu quickly reached out and snatched Konohamaru's scarf and began to drag him away. "Young master, come away with me! If you hang out with the likes of _him_ you'll turn into an idiot! He's already warped your mind and you've only been with him for a single hour!"

"No!" Konohamaru shouted, resisting Ebisu's pull by trying to go the opposite way.

"Just do what I say!" Ebisu shouted as he pulled and began to drag Konohamaru away. "I am an elite Jounin tutor! I'm your quickest shortcut to becoming Hokage! Come, let us go home!"

Naruto had watched the whole scene take place with a growing sense of disgust and anger. First this guy charges in and starts talking trash about his technique. Then this guy starts talking about how only he can make Konohamaru Hokage worthy. Just who in the hell did that guy think he was?

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Ebisu stopped pulling on Konohamaru when he noticed he was surrounded by copies of the blond menace. Slowly, he released Konohamaru and prepared for a fight, as pitiful as it would be. Besides, Konohamaru was obviously wowed by the sight of so many copies of Naruto, the boy wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Wow!" Konohamaru shouted with wide eyed enthusiasm. "That's totally awesome!"

"I won't be defeated as easily as Mizuki was," Ebisu said. "I'm an elite Jounin and a couple of clones won't be able to scratch me."

"Oh yeah?!" several of the clones shouted.

"Well, if you think you can, come at me," Ebisu said, lowering himself into a slight crouch, prepared for a fight.

"Alright!" the clones all shouted as they put their hands into a concentration hand-seal. Ebisu prepared to replace himself with a log. "Transform!"

Every one of the clones was surrounded by huge clouds of chakra vapor. That vapor was quickly blown away by a sudden breeze, revealing a host of drop dead gorgeous blonds. Each of them was as perfect a version of the female form as there could possibly be. Pouty lips making kissing motions at him, big bountiful breasts, soft and supple skin, hips that were just the right size, a toned belly, legs that just kept on going, and all things considered, all the right curves in all the right places. The army of naked blond girls swarmed Ebisu, who was frozen in place with a look of incredulity on his face and a quickly rising blush. That didn't last long when the girls started draping themselves on top of the man, rubbing their bodies against his, cooing in his ear, running their fingers through his hair. It only took milliseconds for the pressure to build up and launch the man up into the air and across the clearing with a double nostril blood geyser.

* * *

The Hokage ran a hand over his face to cover the incredulous look and his bloody nose. He looked away from the spying globe for a moment to write down on a sheet of paper everything he'd seen about the technique. "Combining Shadow Clones and his Sexy Jutsu," the old man muttered. "He'd definitely kill even me with a technique like that. _This_ is an A-rank kinjutsu now."

* * *

Naruto chuckled as he inspected the passed out Ebisu and the puddle of nose blood underneath him. "How'd you like my Harem Jutsu?" Naruto asked. "Low class my ass. Stinking closet-pervert."

"Damnit!" Naruto looked over at Konohamaru who had his fists clenched and was stomping his foot on the ground. "Damn! Damn! Damn! I couldn't even defeat my teacher! I really want a name that people will respect!"

Naruto smacked Konohamaru upside the head. "It's not that easy, you idiot." Konohamaru eyed Naruto warily. "This is Hokage we're talking about. If you want to get the position, you better prepare yourself."

"Prepare?" Konohamaru asked. "Prepare for what?"

"There ain't gonna be any short cuts," Naruto said with a grin. He turned and walked away from the stunned kid.

"Hey!" Konohamaru shouted after several moments. Naruto stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "Stop talking like you're important. I'm not letting you be my boss anymore. From now on, we're rivals!"

Naruto grinned and gave Konohamaru a thumbs-up. "I can't play with you anymore, cause tomorrow I'm getting my ninja team. But hey, I look forward to the day I fight you for the name Hokage, Konohamaru!"

Konohamaru stared for a moment, stunned that Naruto had used his name. Then he grinned and Naruto grinned right back. Not far away, an old man smiled as he watched this scene through a crystal ball.

* * *

Naruto sat in class, chuckling to himself with a huge grin on his face. Today would be the day. The day that he finally got his team and took his first step toward becoming a ninja.

* * *

A/N: Here is chapter 2 of A Touch of Death. I don't believe I ever specified, but the inspiration for the sword thing was, obviously, Bleach, but I didn't want to go straight up crossover, so I came up with a more original concept for it. Don't expect a sword that can transform or for any genin to go around shouting "Bankai!" for ultimate justice!

Hope you enjoyed. Please, drop a review and let me know what you think. I enjoy constructive criticism!

~I.K.A. Valian


	9. Invisible 1

**Invisible**

By I.K.A. Valian

Disclaimer: I claim no right of ownership to the copyrighted material contained herein.

* * *

Chapter One: _Echoes in the Dark_

* * *

Naruto beat his way through the underbrush of the wooded area just outside the gates of Konohagakure with a large stick. His lips were pushed together into a pout and his eyes were overshadowed by his knit brow as he huffed and puffed and beat those bushes down. If he'd seen anyone around, he would have been quick to smile and be nice. There could be a chance they'd be the one person who'd see him as a real person instead of some kind of monster. But seeing as he was alone, he felt no need to hide his true feelings.

He was angry. "I hate it!" he shouted as he beat another bush several more times, shouting "Hate!" every time his stick fell upon the poor, abused bush. "I hate being ignored! I hate being alone! I hate the Academy! I hate being me!"

With one final whack, the bush slumped onto its side, thoroughly defeated. Naruto screamed into the air and threw the stick into the forest as hard as he could. Huffing heavily from the exertion, Naruto started forward again. He didn't have any destination in mind, rather, he wanted to just walk until the overwhelming burden of his emotions ebbed enough for him to face the streets of Konoha again.

Without really paying attention to where he was going, Naruto suddenly stumbled on a rock. He looked down to make sure he wasn't going to run into anything else and when he looked back up again, he wasn't in the forest anymore, but a clearing. One that he hadn't seen before stumbling.

"What the…" Naruto took two steps back and suddenly the dense forest was back in front of him again. "That… That's so cool!"

The next fifteen minutes were spent hopping back and forth through the illusory wall. All thoughts of his anger were lost in the joy of his activity. Laughing loudly, Naruto moved into the clearing and fell onto his back, breathing hard.

"Dattebayo! I found a secret spot," he said, still laughing as his body calmed down. "If no one can see this spot, then I bet I could run here whenever I want to be alone and no one would be able to find me." Naruto chuckled conspiratorially to himself and stood.

Once more full of energy, Naruto began to run around the clearing, checking out every nook and cranny he could find. He did five circles around the clearing until he came to a stop and stared curiously at the crumbled remains of a building at the center.

"It looks like something stepped on it," he said. "But what could be big enough to step on a building this big?"

Carefully entering the ruins, Naruto began to inspect the moss covered rocks that used to be walls and the moldy floorboards. As carefully as he could, he moved further into the ruins, making sure to check out the floor with a light foot to make sure it wouldn't collapse if he put his full weight down. The whole thing was creaking wherever he walked, the last thing he wanted was to fall into some dark hole or well or something.

At that very moment, a piece of the ceiling, rotting away for going on six years, gave up the fight to hold onto the rest of the roof and tumbled end over end downward. Straight below was young Naruto's head. Just as the bock of wood was about to collide with the blond's head, he took another step forward. The floorboards creaked loudly as Naruto moved to another spot, and then groaned loudly until it snapped when the heavy block of wood smashed into it.

Naruto's eyes widened as he hopped into the air. That loud smash had scared him. The sound of the floor falling away from beneath him didn't even register until he was being swallowed into the darkness below the ruins.

The fall didn't last long. He fell for maybe all of five seconds before he crashed into a much harder, rocky floor. Naruto landed on his side, his right arm pinned under him as more floor boards from above rained down on top of him. Eventually the faining splinters of rotting wood slowed to a halt.

" _Naruto…_ "

"Wh-what?!" Naruto pushed himself up to his feet, the pain in his arm quickly forgotten. "Wh-who's there?! It b-better not b-be a g-ghost! I'm a s-s-scary ninja! Run aw-way while you c-can!"

" _Naruto, we don't have a lot of time. But we wanted to leave you a message before we died._ "

A shiver went from the soles of Naruto's feet to the top of his head. His body froze as he continued to listen to the ghosts voice.

'Maybe if I stay absolutely still,' he thought, 'it won't see me.' The desire to run away and the desire to survived warred within him and neither side won, freezing his feet to the spot.

" _I know that this may be hard for you to hear, Naruto,_ " the deep and ragged voice said, " _but I'm afraid that you must._ "

Naruto swallowed loudly. 'This is it,' he thought. 'The ghost is going to find me and drag me to the underworlds. I don't want to die!'

" _Naruto, the first thing you should know is that your father and mother love you. Very much._ "

Naruto unclenched his eyes and stared into the darkness. 'My father and mother?' The voice continued.

" _Dattebane… We know we don't have a lot of time left, so that is why we are recording this message,_ " said a female voice. " _So that one day, you will find it._ "

"Mommy?" Naruto said. His voice echoed into the darkness.

" _It's also important,_ " said the man again, " _that you know we will always be proud of you. We will always love you. We will always be thinking of you._ "

" _We're sorry we can't stay with you,_ " his mother said, " _but the damn fox has made that impossible. Dattebane!"_ There was a short huff of anger and then his mother's voice continued, much softer. " _We're just happy that you could survive, even if we could not._ "

"Mommy! Daddy!" Naruto shouted. He took a step forward into the darkness and tripped over the fallen floorboards littering the area.

" _Naruto,_ " his father said, " _there's not much time left, and I-_

" _We!"_ his mother interrupted.

" _Ah, yes, we. We both want you to grow up to be a strong, kind ninja. We want you to have a good life. We want you to get married, have lots of children, and grandchildren. In all that you do, Naruto, our son, know that we love you, we believe in you, and we will always be with you._ "

His father's voice echoed into silence in the dark subterranean chamber. Naruto sobbed from his prone position on the floor and clenched his fists and he pushed himself into a sitting position so he could hug his knees in front of him.

"Mommy," he sobbed. "Daddy."

'They love me,' he thought. 'Someone loves me. My mommy and daddy love me. They never even met me and they love me. And they believe in me.'

That thought lit a fire deep within his heart. His tears slowed to a stop as the warm feeling in the center of his chest grew larger and larger. Like a match in a sun-dried field of grass, that flickering flame engulfed Naruto's entire being until he couldn't stand to sit still.

He jumped to his feet in the darkened room and shouted, "I'll do it!" He punched his fist forward and added, "I'll become the greatest ninja ever! Dattebayo! I'll do it because Mom and Dad believe in me! Thank you! Mom… Dad…"

Naruto stood in the dark room for several moments, glaring at the darkness and daring it to tell him he couldn't. Then he turned around and scratched the back of his head. "But how do I get out of here?"

Naruto knelt down and began feeling around on the ground with his hands. After clearing away a lot of the rotten wooden planks from the floor, his hand hit something hard and cold that made a metal scraping sound on the stone floor. Reaching out, Naruto grasped the small metal object and lifted it up in front of his face.

"If only there was some light down here, then I could see what I'm holding," he said, mostly to himself, as he tried to see through the darkness. He felt along the edges of the metal thing and discovered three prongs and a cloth wrapped handle. "It feels like a kunai, but not like one I've ever seen."

Shrugging, Naruto gripped the handle of the strangely shaped kunai and began his search again. As he moved about, he struck his new kunai against the stone floor accidentally. The contact between steel and rock caused sparks to fly. Then, as if by magic, Naruto was back in the clearing above, just in front of the broken down building.

"What?" he asked. "How did I get here?"

Naruto checked around where he was standing, but found nothing. Then he crept up to the hole now in the rotting floor of the building, but he still couldn't see anything in the darkness. Having found nothing to explain how he'd miraculously teleported, Naruto made his way back to the spot he'd entered this hidden clearing from.

"I'll come back here to do secret training," he said excitedly. "But first I got to become a ninja. That means I got to get into the Academy. But those stupid teachers won't let me in and the classes have already started." Crossing his arms, Naruto tilted his head to the side as he thought. "I can just ask Gramps to let me in. He _is_ the Hokage. No one can tell him no."

His mind made up, Naruto turned and exited the clearing and began making his way back to the village. He tore through the forest and out onto the road. He bolted through the doors before the guards could do anything but shout at him. Up the main thoroughfare he went, ignoring all the sneers, jeers, and snarls sent his way by the people who saw him. He ran straight up to the Hokage's Tower, charging forward as if there was a heard of Rhinoceroses chasing him. He had a mission to do and he was going to do it.

Unfortunately, before he took two steps into the tower, one of the ninja guarding the door, a man wearing a chunin vest, reached out and grabbed onto the back of Naruto's jumpsuit. With half a snarl, the man tossed Naruto back out the door where he landed on his butt. Scowling and trying not to let tears fall, Naruto looked up into the eyes of the Chunin and saw the same thing he always saw when people looked at him. Well, everyone except for Gramps and those really nice ramen people.

"Get lost, brat," the chunin said. "Hokage-sama doesn't want to see the likes of you."

Instead of shouting at the man and raising a ruckus, like he had done the last time, Naruto stuck his tongue out and made a funny looking hand seal with his middle finger that he'd seen a jounin use to make another jounin angry. He thought maybe it was a genjutsu of some kind that makes your opponent stupid-angry. The chunin's face screwed up as he attempted and failed to reign in his anger. With an angry shout, the chunin gave chase to the fleeing Naruto who was still flipping him off as he ran.

Naruto, of course, vanished mid chase and left the chunin wondering where he'd gone. For the next half hour, the man continue to search with no luck whatsoever finding the boy. Naruto was already half way up the Hokage's tower before the chunin even got back to report on where he'd disappeared to during his shift.

"Dattebayo! Easy as ramen," Naruto shouted with a victorious grin on his face and a fist pump. "Now to get Gramps to tell those mean people at the Academy to let me in."

As Naruto approached the large wooden door of the Hokage's office, he slowed down. This was usually where those super ANBU guys showed up and stopped him from going in. But for some reason, they hadn't appeared yet. With a shrug and another wary glance, Naruto walked up to the wooden door and gave it a push.

The door let off a loud hiss, as if an airtight seal had been broken, and then gave wooden groans as it swung open. Before anyone inside could say anything, Naruto marched right up to the Hokage, and loudly announced, "Gramps! I want to be a ninja! Let me in the Academy! Dattebayo!"

The occupants of the room were silent and stone faced as they looked down upon the blond haired hellion that had just entered into the supposedly secret and sealed meeting they were having. Naruto looked back and forth between the Hokage and his guests. There was the creepy old dude with his arm in a sling who was staring at him. The old hag who looked like she'd just eaten a bunch of lemons and wanted to spit the juice all over him. Another old man, less creepy, who looked like he wanted to start shouting at him. And finally there was the ANBU guy with black hair that had a mask on.

The Hokage sighed and laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto," the old man said. "Now isn't the greates-where did you get that?"

The Hokage pointed down at the three pronged kunai still in Naruto's hand. Naruto lifted the kunai up and shrugged. "I got it from where Mom and Dad were. They said I should be a strong ninja, so are you going to get me into the Academy or not?"

At the mention of 'Mom' and 'Dad' the room fell deathly silent. Naruto watched the old people's mouths open and close a few times.

'That's strange,' Naruto thought, 'never seen anyone do that before. Usually it's all, 'shut up' or 'get out of here you demon brat' or even 'go back to hell'. Something like that. I've never seen anyone make a fish mouth at me before. I wonder if they're talking in the fish language so I can't hear what they're saying.'

"Naruto," the old woman said, "your parents are dead. They can't talk to you."

"I know that, old hag," Naruto said matter-of-factly. "I heard their voices and they told me they love me and want me to grow up big and strong and have babies. Not sure why they want me to have babies, but whatever. I'll do the ninja thing first." Naruto turned back to the Hokage who was staring at him with a calculating look. "So Gramps," Naruto said, oblivious to the looks he was still getting, "can you get me into the Academy. The teachers said I couldn't because I was too old, even though I told them I wasn't. Can you even be too old to get in? I think they were lying just so I'd go away."

"Old hag?" the old woman muttered quietly to herself.

"Yes, Naruto," the Hokage said. He let out a deep sigh and failed to repress a dark brooding from overtaking his face.

* * *

 _Elsewhere…_

Mizuki was walking down the hallway of the academy with a pompous step and a smirk on his face. Nothing like a day of torturing new students and screwing with their heads.

Suddenly a deep chill ran down his spine and a sneezing fit over took him. The sneezes were so forceful that he had to lean against the wall to keep from losing his balance.

"Oh great… I'm getting a cold," he muttered. "Damn hay fever."

* * *

 _Hokage Tower_

"They were lying to you, Naruto," the Hokage explained. "I'll have word sent to allow you in."

"Sarutobi," the disgruntled looking glasses man said incredulously, "you can't seriously mean to allow him to enter into the Academy midway through the term. He'd be behind his classmates in every subject. Wait till next year when the new classes start."

"You could always give him to me," the bandaged up man said. Naruto shivered as the man continue to stare at him with that weird look.

"You are right, Homura," the Hokage said. "And no, Danzo. I've another idea. Itachi."

"Yes, Hokage-sama?" the ANBU said.

"You will teach Naruto what he needs to know over the next six weeks so that he won't drag his classmates behind." The Hokage raised his hand into the air to silence anyone from objecting yet. "Your other duties will remain the same, this is just an added on D-rank mission. For a couple hours in the afternoon every day, you'll teach Naruto. I believe he'll be in the same class as your brother, Sasuke, right?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Itachi replied. "He just started attending the academy. Mother has been a little out of sorts with all the extra time she has on her hands and has insisted on family meals lately."

"Very good," the Hokage said. "In the mean time, I believe we've finished discussing our earlier issues." At this the Hokage sent a look at the one he'd called Danzo. "So this meeting is now complete. We'll meet again at the normal time."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," everyone said.

Naruto looked back and forth at everyone in the room. "So does this mean I'm going to be a ninja?" he asked. "Cause I have no clue what all that was you just said."

"Yes, Naruto," the Hokage laughed and patted the small blond on the head. Naruto grinned up at the old man. "Itachi here will come to collect you every day after classes to teach you what everyone learned before you started. You better be on your best behavior."

"Yes! Dattebayo! Thanks Gramps!"

"Perhaps it would be a good idea to begin now, Naruto," Itachi said. "Do you know where training ground nine is?"

"Uhh…" Naruto scratched his head as he thought.

"Very well," Itachi said with a small shake of his head. "Follow me. We'll have an hour today and maybe two tomorrow."

"Awesome!"

The Hokage watched Itachi and Naruto leave before he turned back to the three elders still in his office. With an arched eyebrow, he gestured toward the slightly agitated Danzo. Danzo cleared his throat.

"Sarutobi, we both know that the academy will be a waste of resources on that boy. He's far too valuable an asset to be turned into anything but a weapon. Not to mention how the academy staff will undoubtedly work against him, if for nothing else than out of spite."

"We're at peace now, Danzo," the Hokage said. "What use would a weapon of that caliber be when there is no one to turn it against. Turning Naruto into a weapon would only incur the wrath of Kumo or Iwa, or whatever other great power out there decides to take that move as a precursor to invasion or an arms race. No, that is something we can not afford this soon after the Fox attacked. We've only just finished rebuilding most of the city. A war would drain our resources even further, to the point that we'd likely lose said war. And also, I'd like to think we should have a little more faith in the moral standing of our own shinobi."

"You're too soft, Sarutobi," Danzo said. "It is only through superior force that we remain the pre-eminent power among the elemental nations. Doing anything less than turning that boy into a weapon is a waste, and you know it."

"Duly noted," the Hokage said. "Now, I've got a lot of nasty, ugly, paperwork that you're welcome to stay and help with. If not, thank you for coming on such short notice today. We'll meet at the appointed time next week."

"Hokage-sama," the three elderly people in front of the Hokage said as they bowed. After that they filed out of the room and left the Hokage alone with the rather large stacks of paper on his desk. He grumbled to himself as he pulled the top request form and began to read.

* * *

"Naruto, before we get started, tell me exactly what you already know about being a ninja right now?"

"Uhh…" Naruto crossed his small arms across his chest and squinted as he went into deep thought. "Ninja are awesome warriors who use magic to make ninjutsu and other awesome cool things. Like explosions!"

Itachi, sans mask, remained stony faced as Naruto beamed up at him like he'd hit the nail on the head. This was about what he expected, though not what he was used to. He could already tell that Naruto was perhaps several years behind Sasuke. It wasn't fair to compare them, yes, but he had to find a baseline.

"I'm sorry, Naruto, but that's incorrect."

"What?!" the diminutive blond shouted, throwing his hands into the air dramatically. "But whenever I hear people talking about ninjas, it's all about flying through the air, saving princesses, blowing things up, and fighting bad guys to the death." Naruto struck a gutsy pose with his small fist clenched and his arm stretched out in front of him, as if he were challenging the invisible 'bad guy' to a death match.

At this point, Itachi had to physically repress a sigh from escaping past his lips. 'What are they teaching kids these days?' he thought, then admonished himself. 'No one has taught him anything yet. I suppose I'd better make a good impression from the start, and snuff out any of these bad ideas before they take root too deeply.' Then he said, "Ninjas don't do any of those things, Naruto."

"B-but…" Naruto stammered, his lower lip quivering. "But, why?"

With a small nod to himself, Itachi said, "I believe I know where to start your education in becoming a ninja." Before Naruto could respond, Itachi continued, "First, let me tell you what a ninja is and does. A ninja is a warrior. They fight with their chakra, not magic, that can make explosions, yes, but also other things such as spitting water or fire, making the earth move, and so on. That's called Ninjutsu. Ninjas can make people see things that aren't there as well, which is called Genjutsu. When a ninja fights with his body, hands, and feet, that's called Taijutsu.

"Ninjas, during times of peace, are more often not fighting at all. Flying is rare and maybe only one or two ninjas alive today can really fly. And we don't save princesses on a regular basis. Actually, shinobi are usually the ones who are kidnapping them."

At this point, Naruto wore the same expression that everyone a the Hokage's meeting had. Itachi continued, "It takes a lot of practice and a lot of training to become a ninja and only those individuals who have the strength of will to tough it out will ever become a real ninja. Do you really believe you can do this, now that you know the truth."

Naruto snarled and pointed dramatically at Itachi's face, shouting, "You better believe it! Mom and Dad believe in me, so there isn't anything I can't do. Even if I have to go around all of Konoha and convince everyone I'm a good ninja one by one, I'll do it! I'll become the greatest ninja ever! Dattebayo! I'll… I'll… I will be come the greatest Ninja, _the greatest Hokage_ , of all time-ttebayo!"

Itachi watched Naruto for a few more seconds impassively. Maybe not as knowledgeable as Sasuke, but he seemed motivated enough. "Very well," Itachi said. "We'll start with the basics then."

Itachi then spent the rest of the hour explaining what was going to be expected of Naruto at the Academy. What supplies he would need and what manners he was expected to have. Naruto soaked it up like a sponge.

* * *

The next few weeks went by similarly. Everyday, after classes let out, Itachi appeared at the school wearing his mask and led Naruto away to the nearby training ground for an hour or two. Near the end of the fifth week, Itachi started showing Naruto the beginner taijutsu forms and the basic hand seals. At the end of their two hour session on the last day, Itachi sat down at the side of the training ground in a cross legged meditating pose.

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"It's called meditating," Itachi said. "Many shinobi do this to clear their minds so they can think clearly about a pressing problem. I am doing this now to prepare for my next mission."

"That doesn't look very cool though!" Naruto said. Jumping up, he stood on one foot, held his other leg out in front of him, and put both arms up like a bird flapping it's wings. "This would be a more cool meditating pose! You should do it like this!"

Itachi opened one eye to look at Naruto attempt and fail to hold the ridiculous pose. "Naruto," he said, "let me ask you a question."

Naruto dropped his pose and stared at Itachi inquisitively. "Yeah?"

"What do you think it is that separates the best ninja from the worst ninja?"

"Pff, that's easy," Naruto said waving him off and rolling his eyes. "The best ninja have the most power… or chakra, or whatever. And the worst ninja don't have any."

"I suppose that might be true," Itachi said. "Then again, if a ninja who had the most chakra of anyone on the planet went up against a ninja who had no chakra at all, the winner wouldn't be determined by who had the most chakra. It would be decided by who practiced the art of the shinobi better."

"Wh… huh?" Naruto now looked more confused than ever.

"The art of the shinobi is the art of invisibility. To be invisible while standing in plain sight. If a ninja with a lot of chakra doesn't practice the art of the shinobi, then he'll never be a good ninja. Likewise, if a ninja with no chakra did practice the art of the shinobi, then he'd be a better ninja than most."

"I don't get it," Naruto said. He had his arms crossed and his eyes squinted shut. Clearly he was thinking very hard, just not connecting the dots. "How can you be invisible while standing in plain sight. Everyone would see you and you wouldn't be invisible."

Itachi nodded and stood. "Allow me to demonstrate then." Naruto nodded as he watched intently. Itachi pointed at a small grouping of trees on the side of the training grounds. "See those trees. I will walk through them and vanish before you eyes."

Itachi walked over to the trees, Naruto watching the whole time. As Itachi walked in, Naruto's eyes widened in surprise when the older boy seemingly vanished behind a tree. Naruto dashed over to the trees, searching behind the trees and up in the branches for Itachi, but he couldn't find him.

After several minutes, Naruto shouted in frustration. "Alright, I give up. Where did you go?!"

Itachi quietly stepped from behind the tree next to Naruto and coughed softly to catch his attention. Naruto whirled around and gasped. "How did you get there?! Did you teleport?! Did you do that one substitution thingy?!"

"No," Itachi said. "I used no chakra at all. I just moved behind the tree silently. That is the art of the shinobi. To be invisible in plain sight. You knew I was there, but you could not see me. If I used a transformation jutsu to look like a civilian, I could blend in with a crowd without looking like a ninja. In that case, I'd also be invisible while standing in plain sight. To practice the art of the shinobi is to hide the truth from your enemies and use that advantage to protect what you hold dear."

"Huh… this invisible art thing doesn't sound hard." Naruto rubbed his chin a few times and then he clenched his fist. "I'm gonna try it and you tell me if I get it right."

"Naruto, I hav-" Before he could finish, Naruto had dashed behind a tree and was obviously pretending to not be seen, even though he could see the younger boy's white shirt sticking out on either side of the tree trunk. Itachi shook his head in slight amusement and said, "Naruto, I have to go now, but keep practicing. Only the greatest ninja ever will be able to fully master the art of invisibility, even if that ninja had no chakra."

As Itachi laced chakra into his legs and jumped from the training grounds, Naruto stuck his head out. When he found that he was alone he slumped back against the tree and sat on the ground. Squinting his eyes again, Naruto thought about this invisibility thing.

'Being a ninja is hard work,' Naruto thought, 'but if Mom and Dad believe I can do it, then I can. And if I want to become the greatest ninja ever and make Mom and Dad proud, then I gotta master this whole invisible thing.'

After several more moments of thinking, a sharp pain grew inside of Naruto's head. "Aaagh! I can't figure this out! It's too hard! At this rate everyone's going to think I'm an idiot who can't ever be a real ninja! But I'll prove them wrong! I mean, if a ninja with no chakra can be a greater ninja than a ninja with a lot of chakra, if only because he's better at being invisible, then I can become a ninja too! I'll show them! I'll… Wait! That's it! Dattebayo!" Naruto jumped up with the biggest grin on his face that he ever felt he'd worn. "I'll trick the whole village into thinking I'm an idiot with no power. And then like the ninja with no chakra, I'll master the art of the shinobi and become the greatest ninja ever!"

Naruto continued grinning as he nodded to himself. 'That's my greatest plan ever!' he thought. 'No one will ever see that one coming.'

"After that," Naruto said as he began walking back to his apartment, "I'll just need to work on getting married and making babies, whatever that means."

* * *

A/N: Based on the premise of Naruto using his seeming lack of recognition to his own benefit instead of striving for open acknowledgment. This shift in Naruto ends up shifting a great many other things and people. You'll see what I mean in the next chapter, later.

Thanks for reading. Leave a review and let me know what you think.

~I.K.A. Valian


	10. A Voice in My Head 1

**A Voice in My Head**

* * *

 _A Prologue in Dialogue_

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

" _Hello._ "

"Who are you?"

" _I guess I could be called many things, but you should probably call me Agent Nine._ "

"Agent Nine? What the hell kind of name is that?"

" _I suppose if we're going to talk on the topic of names, then perhaps you should also introduce yourself, even though I already know it_."

"If you already know my name, then why the hell are you asking me for it?"

"…"

"Ugh! Fine! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! And don't forget it either, because I'm going to become Hokage one day! Dattebayo!"

" _Yes, Hokage. I believe you_."

"Ha, of course I'll become Hokage! Just you wait and see! I mean it! I will-err… wait? You believe me?"

" _Of course. Are you saying I shouldn't believe you?_ "

"No, no, no, no! Hahahaha! You can believe in me. I will become Hokage and I never go back on my word. That's my Nindo! Believe it!"

" _Oh good, for a second there, I thought I'd picked the wrong person assist in becoming the most badass ninja ever_."

"Huh? What do you mean? How can you do that if this is a dream? And anyway, what the hell kind of dream is this? This is the most messed up one I've ever had! Who are you? Why are we talking in this giant echo-y room in the dark? Usually I dream about fighting other ninja and saving princesses."

" _I apologize for interrupting your daily dose of princess saving, Naruto_."

"Eh, whatever. I'll just forget this dream when I wake up."

" _I'd like to see you try_."

"Alright I will! Sayonara sucker!"

"… _I wonder if he really thought this was a dream. He couldn't be that bad… ugh, I can see I have my work cut out for me. This is the prophesied child who will save the world or condemn it? Whoever decides these things should be dropped into a vat of sewage for a hundred years. Seems he'll be waking up now. Hehe, I guess freaking him out after he wakes up will be worth at least five percent of the work this is going to take. If I knew this was how it would turn out, I wouldn't have signed up for this freaking mission. I hate my life_."

" **I don't know who you are, but I would appreciate it if you removed that little slip of paper over there. I'd do it myself, but as you can see, the bars are too close together for my hands to fit between.** "

" _Oh… I almost forgot about you. Sorry, Mr. Giant Fox of Doom_ _. I know you'd just love for me to remove your seal and set you free, but doing so would be breaking a rule and interacting with the world physically. Can't break that rule. You know how it goes_."

" **I haven't a clue what you are, who you are, or why you have appeared inside of my stupid monkey host. Rest assured, that seal** _ **will**_ **be removed one day, and when that time comes, I will enjoy eating you second. Right after this pathetic hairless monkey I've been sealed into. Enjoy your so called freedom while you have it.** "

" _Seriously?_ "

"…"

" _Okay, first thing you should know is that I have some rules. I'll be telling the kid this in a little bit, but I don't mind telling them to you first. First rule is a big one. Are you paying attention Kurama?_ "

" **You… How do you know that name?** "

" _First rule: I may not interact physically with this plane. Does that give you any clues?_ "

" **I see… So you aren't from this world. An interloper. Your kind do taste good, especially when you inevitably break your own rules. Your kind's despair is the rarest and sweetest, since you're so damn hard to find. I shall relish it and then consume you. I can already taste you now, he he he.** "

" _I seriously hope you have better threats than that, although I do find it interesting that there have been others before me. I_ _wouldn't have fathomed the possibility, although, considering what my mission is I don't think this should have been as surprising as I find it now. Regardless of my own feelings on the matter, I have no intention of breaking my rules. If I fail my mission, if I break my rules, then I'll simply be removed, and someone else will come in and try again. Besides, I would think you'd just love my mission and would do anything and everything to help._ "

" **As if I would help an interloper. Your kind's designs are as feeble as they are shortsighted. Nothing your little mission aims for could possibly interest me in any way.** "

" _My mission is to dismantle the plans of and utterly annihilate a singularly evil Uchiha Madara and his accomplice, Obito. His plan, of course, is to gather all of the Biju and fuse them into a new Jubi so that he can power a worldwide genjutsu bounced off of the moon. My mission only came about after this Moon's Eye Plan succeeded. The technique happened to be so powerful that there was a spillover effect in other planes. Leaders on my plane decided to attempt to dismantle the man and his plan before it became a threat. Basically, that means I have future knowledge of events to come. Should that knowledge become obsolete, I still have knowledge of the motivations and abilities of the people and creatures involved. Even you, Kurama_."

" **Hehehe… I do admit, I hold a certain special hatred for Uchiha Madara and his accomplice. If nothing else, they're the reason I'm even in this pathetic hairless monkey. The damn Uchiha** _ **would**_ **attempt to do something a stupid as resurrecting the Jubi, but I still don't believe I'll help you. However, shortsighted as it is, your plan does appeal to me, so I think I'll watch just to see what happens. Then I'll eat you when you inevitably fail.** "

" _Of course. Feel free to jump in whenever you want. I will, of course, be encouraging Naruto to make nice with you, once he finds out about you. I won't be telling anyone of you or your sibling's names. Shukaku may have been stupid enough let his be known, but I understand it is a private thing_."

" **Hmph, whatever. Get out of here before I eat you anyway for annoying me.** "

" _Love you too, Kurama_."

* * *

A/N: This is a prologue rather than the main story itself. Rest assured, that when the next chapter of this story come out, it will have more than just dialogue.

Let me know what you think! Is it intriguing? Does it make you wonder just who this guy is and what is going on? Review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	11. A Voice in My Head 2

**A Voice in My Head**

* * *

 _The Opening Chapter_

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

Naruto opened his eyes and sat up in his bed. He was back in his messy room inside of his half rundown apartment. Outside, the sun was just about to peek over the horizon and the sky was a brilliant mix of pink, red, and blue. Some stars could still be seen twinkling in the morning sky, striving against the harsh light pollution originating from the sun.

Naruto blinked a couple of times and then said, "That was a really weird dream. And I just woke up like I said I would. Eh, whatever, today is going to be a good day. I can just feel it!"

Naruto hopped out of his bed, deftly avoiding the empty ramen cups and piles of clothes. He shucked his sleep wear, tossed his sleeping cap onto the post of his bed, and began pulling on his pants. After his black shirt was on, he left his room and entered his living room/kitchen. He quickly set a kettle of water to boil and started going about the room. He gathered all of his practice kunai up from the night before when he'd been practicing throwing them at imaginary targets while he tried to save 'Sakura' from some enemy ninja.

Once all his practice kunai were safely stored inside of his leg pouch, he inhaled his cup ramen, let off a window-pane shaking belch for good measure, grabbed his orange jacket, and left. He didn't bother locking his door, it didn't have one to begin with, and started walking down the street grinning like he'd just won the lottery, gotten a date with Sakura, and beat Sasuke into admitting he wasn't as awesome.

" _You do realize that you're going to be two hours early for class, right?_ "

Naruto's eyes widened and he spun around. He fumbled with his pouch for a kunai and took several seconds to get his shaking hands to grab one. The blunted tool was no good for doing more than practicing throwing, it didn't even stick into the target, but it was all he had.

"W-who's there?!" Naruto called out to the empty street. After several seconds of silence, the shaking of his arms lessened and a more antagonistic bravado entered his posture and voice. "I heard you before, so I know you're there! So stop hiding and come out to face me, coward!"

Naruto jerked when something crashed in the alley. His body tensed and his heart thumped loudly in his chest as he waited for whoever it was to appear. Just as he felt like the silence was going to eat him whole, a cat screeched as it raced from the alley and down the street.

"A cat!" Naruto growled. "Yeah, you better run, you stupid cat!"

Naruto sighed and grimaced in the direction that the cat ran. He quickly put his practice kunai away and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his orange jacket. As he resumed his way back toward the academy, the words that he'd heard filtered into his head and he stopped cold in the street.

"Aw, crap, I _am_ two hours early!" Naruto beat his hand on the side of his head a few times. "Damn it! How could you do this to me, body? I never wake up early! I always sleep in!" Grumbling to himself, Naruto could swear he heard laughter being muffled somewhere. "Figures someone would be laughing at me." Smirking, Naruto ignored whoever was laughing at his misfortune and continued on down the street.

"No point going back to sleep now. I'll just go practice throwing kunai until class starts." Naruto's smirk turned into a full blown grin as he tried to imaging Iruka-sensei's face when he saw Naruto show up early for class for the first time ever. It'd be like a prank and he'd just be doing what he was supposed to do all along. "Oh yeah, this prank is gonna be awesome!"

With a fist pump, Naruto sprinted down the street toward the Academy. He really did want to get some practice in before class started. As he ran, he couldn't help but smile at how awesome this day was turning out. Already, one prank was in the works and he had no doubt he'd come up with another dozen or two before the day was out.

* * *

Iruka was indeed shocked when he walked into the classroom a little under one hour ahead of start time to find Naruto sitting there, patiently waiting. None of the other kids had arrived at all, not even the punctual ones. That Uzumaki Naruto, a habitually tardy student, was this early meant something. Something big.

"Naruto," Iruka said, half choking on his surprise. "What on earth are you doing here this early?"

"What do you mean, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked innocently. He grinned the most winning smile he had in his arsenal at his teacher.

Iruka scowled. "Naruto, I know for a fact that you've never been early, let alone on time, for class in your entire life. If you're here early, then that means you're up to something. Now out with it. What have you done?"

Naruto grimaced and bit back a growl. Why couldn't this prank have worked out? He opened his mouth to retort, loudly.

" _Don't get angry. You've almost sealed the deal. Instead, point out that he doesn't think you should come to class on time._ "

"Iruka sensei," Naruto said slowly, as if his mind was slowly catching up with his body. He frowned, winced, frowned, and then just looked completely confused. Finally, he settled on pouting and asked, "Are you saying you don't want me to show up on time? What kind of teacher are you? I thought you'd be happy that I'd showed up so early."

"I-that is-wha-I-wha-Naruto!" Iruka pointed accusingly at Naruto and his head enlarged. "I know what you're doing!"

Naruto blinked, quite unlike his normal behavior, and asked, "You do?"

"Gah! Don't change the subject!" Iruka fumed and then he stormed out of the class room.

Naruto managed to hold out for five whole seconds. He counted. Then the dams burst and he started laughing at his successful prank. He was still laughing fifteen minutes later, on the floor now, when the first of the kids started arriving. The look on Iruka's face was _that_ funny.

Satisfied with a plan completed, Naruto settled in for another boring lesson. No doubt, Iruka-sensei would be sending him glares throughout the day, especially if Iruka was the unlucky teacher to find the explosive water balloon in the teacher's lounge. Or the stink bomb in the bathroom. Or the smoke grenade in the water fountain. Or any other number of pranks he'd set up in just one hour.

Naruto had gotten so many pranks in place in one hour that he wasn't sure why he'd never done this before now. Every time he finished and found that he still had more time, another idea popped into his head and he rushed off to set it up, giggling like a mad genius.

And if he was honest with himself, he was just keeping these teachers on their toes. They're supposed to be ninja, after all. If little pranks like his can get to them, then he'd know where to start making changes when he became Hokage.

* * *

It was sparring time. Oh, how Naruto hated sparring time! It never failed that every day that sparring time occurred, Naruto eventually ended up pitted against Uchiha Sasuke. That boy right there is ninety percent of the reason he hated sparring time.

Uchiha Sasuke, last of the Uchiha clan, thought he was so cool. He acted like he was better than everyone around him. He spent all day glaring at anyone and no one. And worst of all, he had fan girls coming out the wazoo, one of which was Haruno Sakura.

Naruto groaned. That Sakura liked the stuck up Bastard was the final ten percent of why he hated sparring time. It never failed that when he was manhandled by the Uchiha Bastard, Sakura would cheer for stuck up prick along with all the other girls. It was bad enough to that the Bastard beat him up so easily, no matter how hard he trained, but to add Sakura (a girl he thought was cute and nice and he kind of liked) cheering for the Bastard on top of that, and it just made the whole affair unbearable.

Naruto would win one day. He'd prove that he was better than Sasuke. And somehow, he'd get Sakura's affections too!

"Uzumaki Naruto!" Iruka called. Naruto grumbled internally, while on the outside he wore a feral grin like he was sure of his win, as he stood from the class and moved into the clearing. "Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Sasuke-kun! You're going to win!" shouted one of the girls in the class.

"Kick his ass, Sasuke-kun!" shouted Sakura. Naruto winced internally and adopted his victorious grin as he stared down the imperiously smirking Uchiha. That Bastard was just so sure of himself.

"Kick his ass, Naruto!"

"Shut up, Kiba!" Ino shouted.

"You shut up! That bastard has it coming to him!"

"Bark, bark!"

"See! Akamaru agrees!"

"Troublesome…"

"Ready to eat dirt, Bastard?" Naruto asked.

If anything the smirk on the Bastard's face got more prominent, without getting larger, somehow. Naruto snarled. Bastard.

"The only one who will be eating dirt, is you, Dead Last," Sasuke said.

"Make the sign of combat," Iruka said.

Naruto grumbled as he held his hand up in the sign of combat. Across from him, Sasuke did the same. Iruka observed them both and nodded. He took a step back to clear the space between them.

"Ready," Iruka said. He raised his hand up and sliced downward. "Begin."

Naruto bolted forward. Sasuke did the same. And much like every other time the two of them fought, Naruto quickly found himself on the ground, with Sasuke's fist poised right above his face.

"Winner…" Iruka said.

" _Quick, grab the arm and push up with chakra in your legs. Toss him off of you!_ "

"Sasu-" Iruka was cut off when Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm and threw him off. The fan girls were screaming at Naruto, but he ignored them as he pushed himself back to his feet and glared at Sasuke, who was also getting back to his feet.

Naruto grimaced. Just for a moment there, he saw that look. The look that the villagers looked at him with. Only Sasuke wasn't looking at him. Who could Sasuke be looking at with such hatred in his eyes? Naruto shook his head and decided to figure that out later, he had a battle to win.

Sasuke snarled and charged again. Naruto's eyes widened at the speed and barely had a chance to block the punch aimed at his face and completely missed the flying kick to his gut that sent him flying and knocked the wind out of him. Naruto gasped and felt tears stinging his eyes as he tried to suppress the pain and breath at the same time.

" _Force yourself up! You'll never become Hokage if you stay on the ground!_ "

With a grunt, Naruto pushed himself up. His whole body was shaking from the exertion, but it was like his body was physically refusing to be defeated. The fact that he could push himself, and by now he was clearly way beyond any other attempts at sparring with Sasuke, shot a bolt of exhilaration through him.

Up until this point, he never thought he could fight this hard. That he was now finding himself capable of doing so was nothing short of amazing for Naruto. Already he could see ways to use this to become even stronger, if he could keep training past being just tired and out of breath. Why hadn't discovered this sooner?!

Back on his feet, Naruto glared at Sasuke. The Uchiha glared back. They rushed at each other again, and this time, Sasuke spared no effort to totally beat Naruto into the ground. Punch, punch, punch, kick, kick, kick. Naruto grunted as he felt like he was being used as a training dummy. His body hurt more than it ever hurt before. Pain, like nothing he had ever experienced, lanced from his lower back up into his skull, making it hard to think or see straight. It seemed like the beating would never end.

* * *

Sasuke felt his arms and legs growing tired. This was the most work he'd ever put into a spar with another academy student, ever. No one lasted this long before and he doubted Naruto would try anything this stupid again. The dead last was fated to lose this spar the moment he'd gotten up. No, this wasn't a spar, this was a beating.

"Hmph," Sasuke grunted, as with a final heave of his leg, Sasuke kicked the bloodied Naruto away. "Had enough? Pathetic. Just stay down, Loser, where you belong."

He was kind of surprised that Iruka-sensei hadn't called the match, but he supposed that even the teacher wanted to see the Dead Last put in his place. Sasuke was only too happy to oblige.

Sasuke huffed and puffed as he calmed down from the violent beating he'd given Naruto. There was no way the dead last was getting up from that one. With one final look at the bloody body he'd dropped onto the ground, Sasuke sneered, shoved his hands into his pockets, and turned to walk away.

"W-winner, Sa-" Iruka once again froze, his mouth hanging open comically.

Sasuke noticed Iruka and stopped walking away. Confusion overwhelmed him when he heard several gasps from the class. A shiver ran up his spine.

"He couldn't have gotten back up," Sasuke said, mostly to himself. He _had_ just beaten the ever living shit out of Naruto. There was just no way that idiot dead last was standing again, not after Sasuke had put everything he had into putting him down. Just, simply, no way.

Anger bubbled up inside of him as he turned to see what was so shocking to the rest of the class.

* * *

' _I will not lose!_ ' Naruto roared inside his head as he pushed himself to stand on shaking legs. He then took one step. And then another. He was now simply running on whatever this force was that just refused to let him stay down. Hell, he welcomed it.

' _I'll never give up!_ '

He hated falling and never getting back up. He hated it more than losing to the Bastard. He hated it more than the glares he got from the villagers.

' _I'm going to be Hokage, Dattebayo!_ '

The fact that his body now seemed to share his hatred of being beaten, was just plain awesome. It hurt like nothing he'd ever experienced before. It was like fire was burning him from the inside out, like his very soul was exploding with pain so intense that he could only imagine death would be a welcome reprieve. However, he wasn't going to let something like excruciating pain take away from the awesomeness of this moment.

' _I won't let anything stop me!_ '

Naruto watched as Sasuke turned around. He grinned as the Uchiha Bastard stood there, frozen, with his hands in his pockets. With his grin that felt more like he was grimacing in pain, Naruto stumbled into a sprint and threw his fist forward.

' _Not even this stuck up Bastard! Dattebayo!_ '

For the first time in his young life, Uzumaki Naruto laid out Uchiha Sasuke during sparring time at the academy.

* * *

There was a knock at the door. The Hokage, an old man sitting behind a desk in red and white robes denoting his station as the leader of the village, set his calligraphy brush down and leaned back in his chair. "Come," he said as he steepled his hands in front of him.

The door opened to admit Iruka. The academy teacher bowed to the Hokage before moving to stand closer to the desk. "Hokage-sama," Iruka said, "you called for me?"

"Yes, I assume you know that some of the families in the village have complained at the mistreatment of Uchiha Sasuke today," the Hokage said. "They all seem to claim that Uzumaki Naruto went on a rampage and beat the poor boy to a bloody pulp, until he was on death's door even, and had to be hospitalized."

"Hokage-sama, that's just simply no-"

"Don't worry, Iruka-kun," the Hokage said, waving off the chunin's concerned look. "I know that it's quite the opposite. I was in the hospital when Naruto was the one admitted, so I'm not worried about Sasuke's condition. I called you here because I wanted your account of what did happen. All I've read so far are shoddy third hand reports at best and I didn't want to wait for your written report." _Anything to get out of more paperwork_ , mused the old Hokage.

"Ah, um, yes, Hokage-sama," Iruka said. "The event took place during today's taijutsu sparring day for my class. I usually rotate who spars against who, so that everyone can get a more even experience. Naruto was paired against Uchiha Sasuke. At first, the spar proceeded as it normally does when Naruto fights, and he was defeated easily by Sasuke. Then, from some unknown well of strength, Naruto tossed Sasuke off of him and they went at each other again. Sasuke pulled a punch and delivered a kick that sent Naruto away again.

"I would have called the match then, because Naruto appeared to be down for the count. Then, and I swear I don't know where he pulled the strength from, but Naruto stood back up. It was clear that he had the air knocked out of him, and his body was shaking from the effort to stand, but Naruto was just refusing to stay down.

"Sasuke seemed to take this refusal to submit as some kind of challenge to his honor and attacked more ferociously than before. It didn't last long, maybe ten seconds, but Sasuke never gave Naruto a chance to defend himself and, well, you saw the condition that Naruto was in."

The Hokage nodded. "Continue."

"Well, Sasuke got tired, I could see him slowing down. He kicked Naruto away and assumed the match was finished. Naruto looked very much done. I should have called the match earlier, but I swear I've never seen such a fire in Naruto's eyes when he once again pushed himself to his feet. It was like I could literally see Naruto's Will of Fire."

"I don't blame you, Iruka-kun," the Hokage said. "Though you perhaps should have stopped the match sooner, your response afterword was everything I've come to expect. And Naruto wasn't seriously injured. He was even trying to tell a joke when I spoke to him earlier. But now I'm quite curious, how did the match end?"

Iruka looked suitably abashed at the light admonishment. "Sasuke was quite shocked that Naruto was still coming at him, even though he looked seven steps from the Shinigami's grasp. Sasuke was so shocked that he didn't react at all as Naruto punched him in the face. Laid him out flat on his back. It's the first time Sasuke's ever been knocked down in a fight like that. Then Naruto collapsed and I rushed him to the hospital as fast as I could."

The Hokage nodded and gave Iruka a wry grin. "I suppose it's good to see the younger generations bearing such a strong Will of Fire."

Iruka smiled and said, "Yes. Naruto has always been excitable but I've never seen him refusing to stay down like that before. It's like he was possessed… or… something. Hokage-sama! You don't think?!"

The Hokage frowned and then shook his head. "No, if the seal had weakened in the slightest, you would have seen the effects and I doubt the rest of your class would have been able to keep quiet about anything like that. No, I am sure that this was all, one hundred percent Uzumaki Naruto gutsiness. It would be nice if we could all have such strength."

Iruka sighed his relief and nodded. "That _would_ be nice. I'll have my report to you by the end of the day, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage sat up straight and dismissed Iruka. He picked up his brush and grumbled as he continued drafting the letter he'd been working on before. Paperwork wouldn't finish itself, after all.

* * *

Naruto was certain now. The sun was going down, he was in the hospital, and it seemed like he was in some serious trouble. This was the worst day of his life.

"And it started off so well, too," Naruto mumbled.

" _I don't know. Today seemed like a pretty good day to me. You did get to beat Sasuke, after all._ "

"Well, yeah, after he beat the crap out of me like I've never been beaten before. Hey!" Naruto's eyes widened as he realized just who it was he was talking to. "It's you! The voice from this morning! I thought it was just a cat! And then I heard you during the fight with Sasuke, too! Who are you?!"

" _Quiet down! You don't want to attract the attention of the hospital staff, do you? They'll see you talking to yourself and think you've gone insane._ "

Naruto grimaced and quickly glanced at the door. After a few moments of silence, during which no doctors or nurses came to check on him, Naruto let out a sigh of relief. "Just because I don't want to get caught doesn't mean I don't want my question answered," he whispered.

" _Yeesh! Don't you remember that dream you had last night at all?_ "

"That was you!?" Naruto said a little too loudly. He waited a few moments and relief washed through him again when no one came to check. Quietly, he said, "I thought that was a dream."

" _Yeah… not really. That wasn't a dream. I'll just tell you again, since it seems you forgot. Call me Agent Nine. I'm a being of some power and I'm here to help you, Uzumaki Naruto, to become a badass ninja._ "

"What?" Naruto scrunched his face up in confusion. "Why me? I don't get it."

" _That's fine. You don't need to understand everything right away. I'm not going anywhere soon, so you'll have plenty of time to figure it out. For the time being, I should tell you the rules that I follow. The first rule is I will not be interacting physically with you or the world around you. That basically means I can't do anything for you or help you in any way physically._ "

"That's stupid," Naruto grumbled. "How are you supposed to make me a badass ninja if you can't help me train? I don't think I want your help if you can't do anything."

" _Of course. If that's how you wish it. But I suppose that my help earlier when you were facing Sasuke wasn't really needed. You had that fight fully under control, right?_ "

"What?" Naruto sputtered. "But that was… I… Okay, fine!" Naruto huffed. "You can help, but I don't know how a voice in my head is going to be of any help!"

" _Ah, well, let me tell you my second rule then. I cannot tell you anything you can find out on your own, in most cases. There are some ways to bend that rule and there are some cases where the rule doesn't apply. In regards to helping you train and become stronger, I can't tell you how to train, but I can tell you if it's working or not and assist you in strategy and tactics, both on and off the battle field. I'm also permitted, though this is a little bit of that rule bending I mentioned, to suggest ideas to you. Whether you go through with those ideas is completely up to you, of course._ "

"So, you can't tell me how to train and get super strong and you can't physically make me stronger, but you can tell me what to do?" Naruto scrunched his face up and then he shook his head. "I don't think that's going to help me much at all. That just sounds like you're a lazy bum who is going to make me do all the work."

" _True, I suppose it does sound that way. How about this? You and me do this thing on a trial basis for the next four months, until you graduate. If you see improvements and the arrangement is to your liking, then we'll just keep going forward with this. If not, then we'll work something out then. Is that an acceptable proposal?_ "

"Hmm…" Naruto tilted his head as he thought about it. It couldn't hurt to at least try it out. Besides, it didn't sound like anything would change so it's not like he'd be getting worse with this voice in his head. "Yeah," he said, "okay. But only until I graduate. If it's not working by then, you gotta go."

" _That works for me, Naruto. Well then, to make it official, I officially declare that Uzumaki Naruto has entered into a mentoring contract with the Pan-Dimensional Security Agency. My designation now officially changes from Agent Nine to Operator Nine. You, Uzumaki Naruto, are now designated Agent N, for Naruto or Ninja, whichever you prefer. Just don't let anyone know that, because it's supposed to be super secret and stuff._ "

Naruto grinned. "That was so cool. The way you said all that stuff and it's like, I'm a secret ninja spy now. This is gonna be so awesome!"

* * *

A/N: So I decided that the previous chapter was too short and abrupt without getting across what the story was generally about. So I posted the second chapter to the story to help with that.

Review and tell me what you think!

~I.K.A. Valian


	12. Time Travel no Jutsu

**Time Travel no Jutsu**

* * *

Written by I.K.A. Valian

Chapter One: _Space-Time Ninjutsu_

 _Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto._

* * *

It was evening. The red sky had given way to pink on the horizon as deep blue and black creeped across the sky from the east. The sun had already set and now only minutes remained until only starlight remained to shine down upon the forest. In the forest it was already dark, save for the small clearing in which a lantern was hung from a tree.

"Let's see… the first skill is… Shadow Clones? What the hell?! Why does it start with the one I'm bad at?"

Before long the waning sunlight was completely gone, and the only light source in the clearing was the twinkling stars above and the small lantern, which bathed the area in a reddish hue. Valiantly did that small fire push back the darkness, flickering, wavering, but never faltering in its duty to provide, protect, and illuminate.

"That was… _huff_. That wasn't so… _huff…_ hard. If Iruka-sensei had taught me this jutsu… _huff_ … I would have passed no problem! _Huff…_ I bet if I learn two jutsu… _huff_ … then they'll have to let me graduate! What's next?" A rustling of cloth as a large, thick scroll was unraveled ever further. "Wha? A Space-Time Ninjutsu created by the… Second Hokage! I didn't know he knew any jutsu. How many-oly shit! That's a lot of hand seals! Hah! Tha-that's nothing for someone like me! Yeah! I'll have this down in no time."

* * *

 _One hundred and fifteen hand-seals and sixteen hours before…_

Naruto bolted out his bed as if he'd been set on fire and tossed into a vat of oil. For a frightful moment, he didn't know where he was and fearfully cast his eyes about the darkened room. Then his foot caught up in the blanket around his ankles and he ended up in a pile on the floor. It didn't take him much longer to figure out where he was.

"Hey," he said, "I'm back at my apartment. But when did… oh no!" A look of abject horror passed over Naruto's face as a wave of dread washed through him and gripped his heart in a icy cold grip that constricted his chest and made it hard to breath. Anger swelled up from inside of him like a raging inferno and his hands clenched. "No! No, no, no!" Each time he said the word no, Naruto pounded his fist on the floor. Bitter disappointment and anger burned in his gut. Tears glistened at the edge of his eyes, but they refused to fall. A choked sob escaped Naruto's throat as he curled up onto himself.

"I must have…" he bit back another sob, "…passed out in the forest." Naruto paused here so he could push himself into a sitting position with his back against the bed. "That means… I failed the test." The logical conclusion he'd come to only caused the burning flame of his anger to explode with his fury. He punched the floor once, but it didn't satisfy him very much. So he punched it again. And again. Over and over he punched the floor that he eventually found his fist getting sticky from the blood oozing out of his broken knuckles.

"I… I can't even pass that… I can't even… Why?" The tears on the edge of his eyes grew larger, but still remained unshed. As if by some force of will, Naruto sucked the tears back into his eyes and stared sullenly across the darkened room.

His furious anger was white hot. His disappointment was unknowingly deep. His hunger was without bounds… a fact he stumbled upon when his stomach growled loudly. It was such an obviously out of place sound compared to the rest of what he was feeling that he couldn't help the smile that crept up onto his face. That smile, slightly deranged, slowly bubbled to life with a few chuckles. A few minutes found Naruto laughing so loudly and joyously that if anyone were to see him, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for them to assume he was quite happy. Only a few, the few who actually knew Naruto beyond the masks he wore, would notice the despairing tenor in the guffaws.

Eventually, Naruto pulled himself to his feet. He was never one to wallow in self pity anyway, he told himself. He quickly put on his clothes and started to head out. The sun was just beginning to rise and it looked like it was going to be a nice day. The first thing he wanted to do was go eat something, but it would probably be a better idea, he reasoned, if he went to the Old Man and apologized for using his Sexy Jutsu on him the night before.

"Hey, Old Man," Naruto said. The Old Hokage immediately noticed the somber tone of voice Naruto spoke in. He put his pen down and pushed his paper work to the side to be forgotten for the rest of the day. The last time Naruto had been like this, six months previous when he'd failed to graduate again, only a ramen binge was enough to get him out of the day long funk.

"Naruto?" the Hokage asked. "What's wrong? You look you did the last time you failed the graduation exam. And speaking of which, why aren't you at the academy taking that exam right now? You aren't quitting are you?" Sarutobi Hiruzen could barely keep the incredulous feeling from his voice. The very idea of Naruto quitting anything was so ridiculous it had a sixty year old shinobi losing the ability to control his emotions.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, tilting his head. "What do you mean? Are you going senile old man? The test was yesterday! I failed, remember? Both times!"

The Hokage arched an eyebrow. "Naruto," he said slowly. "What do you mean, yesterday? The graduation exam is today. In fact, Iruka has just handed out the paper tests, if I'm not mistaken."

"What?!" Naruto shouted, his hands flying into the air. He hopped up and down, as if to emphasis his confusion. "What do you mean? I remember taking the test and everything! I failed the first one and then Mizuki-sensei said I could take a secret test, but then I passed out and failed that one too!"

The Hokage's eyes narrowed. What was Naruto getting on about? He rarely made anything so incredible up, at least, not when it pertained to important things like graduating. He'd be bouncing off the walls and shouting it from the roof tops if he'd passed. Naruto wasn't exhibiting that kind of behavior. If anything, he was showing signs of extreme distress and depression. As if the boy actually believed he had failed the test the day before.

"Naruto, why did you come here, exactly?" the Hokage asked.

Naruto lowered his eyes to the floor and his shoulders slumped. "I just wanted to come and say I was sorry for knocking you out with my Sexy Jutsu last night. You know, when I snuck in for the second test."

The Hokage smiled, easily hiding his real thoughts, as he stood. He gave a soft laugh at the boy's confused expression, as he moved around his desk and put his hand on Naruto's head. He tussled the blond hair under his fingers, easily re-assuring Naruto that he held nothing against him.

Meanwhile, in his head, the Hokage was comparing and contrasting everything Naruto had said. Naruto clearly believed he had failed the test yesterday, when clearly the test was taking place right at that moment. It was almost like Naruto had experienced a day ahead of time, or at the very least, that's what Naruto believed. It all stank to high heaven and, truthfully, he wouldn't put it past someone with a grudge and the ability to use genjutsu to give Naruto a nightmare about failing the test. He'd have to set up an investigation to look into it.

Besides, he was known as Professor and the God of Shinobi. He was a Hokage who wouldn't fall victim to some silly prank jutsu like the Sexy Jutsu. That was all the proof he needed that Naruto had only experienced a nightmare.

"Come, Naruto," the Hokage said. "I'll prove to you that you didn't miss or fail the test by taking you there right now. Okay?"

Naruto looked up at the Hokage with wide, unbelieving eyes that were watering around the edges. Finally that big, bright, megawatt grin that put his old heart at ease appeared on Naruto's face. "Okay Old Man! But I'm passing this time! Dattebayo!"

Naruto watched as the Hokage knocked on the class room door and slid it open. "I seem to have found one of your students, Iruka-kun."

"Naruto!" Iruka shouted. Naruto cringed, but he could see the obvious relief on his sensei's face. "Where have you been?! You nearly missed the exam!"

"S-sorry, Iruka-sensei," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head and giving his most sincere apology-smile. Iruka gave a half exasperated huff before he glanced at Mizuki who gave a non-committal shrug.

"Go on and take your seat Naruto," the Hokage said before he turned to the class. "Good luck to you all in your exams. I look forward to seeing a few new Shinobi after today."

Naruto slumped into a seat and attempted to hide his head in his arms. This didn't make any sense. He remembered this test, this day, but it was like he'd dreamed everything that had happened. He found himself really confused and questioning everything he had experienced.

"Naruto, sit up straight and finish your written exam!" Iruka shouted.

"A-hahah, right away, sensei!" Naruto had nearly jumped with fright when Iruka had barked out his order. He scrambled to pick up the pencil laid out on the desk and start filling out the answers on the sheet in front of him. Oddly enough, the questions were all the same from the dream, nightmare, or whatever it was. Now that he was looking at them again, some of the answers he wrote down last time didn't make sense anymore, forcing him to rethink his previous answer.

* * *

 _Two hours later…_

"Pencil's down," Iruka called out. Mizuki quickly moved through the room and gathered all of the papers. When everything was settled, Iruka turned to the class and announced, "We will now begin the Ninjutsu Practical. You will be asked to perform the Clone Jutsu. Go into the next room when your name is called."

Naruto bit his lip as Iruka and Mizuki collected what they needed and left the room. This was going exactly like last time. First the exam questions and now the clone jutsu. What was going on? Didn't the Old Man tell him that this very thing was just a dream he had? Why was he going through the exact same thing all over again, as if he'd gone back in time-

Naruto's brain froze. Time! That last jutsu he used! It was a Space- _Time_ jutsu! He hadn't passed out or failed the second exam at all! He'd succeeded in mastering _two_ jutsu from the Forbidden Scroll! Naruto felt his heart begin to pump faster as he got more and more excited.

"Hehehehe," he chuckled in a dementedly high pitched voice. This earned him several glances, some worried, many others disgusted. "I'm so awesome!"

"What a weirdo," someone from the back of the class muttered. Normally, Naruto would have jumped up and confronted the jerk who'd said that. But at this point all he could think about was how happy he was that he hadn't failed.

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"Yippie!" Naruto shouted as he bolted from the room, gleefully ignoring all the looks he got. He skidded into the testing room, happily noting the rows and rows of shiny, brand new, unclaimed Leaf forehead protectors sitting on the table in front of Mizuki. Naruto grinned as he reached up and readjusted his goggles. Confidence like he'd never known surged through him, after all, if he messed up, he could just go back and do it over again, right?

* * *

A/N: Time travel is dope, yo!

The way that the Jutsu works is that it converts all of your life force into chakra, adds it to your existing chakra reserves, uses those reserves to open a portal to a twist in space time (wormhole) and flings your chakra backward in time to create a temporary (less than a fraction of a second) shadow clone that when popped, sends all of your memories to your younger self. To the point of view of the person who watches the jutsu caster, that person just used a suicide jutsu. Now, for Naruto, on top of his own formidable reserves of Chakra, once he runs out of his own, the Ninetails gets sucked up too! So every time Naruto uses this jutsu, both he and Kurama are dying and sending their memories backward in time. Tobirama never realized just what he created since he couldn't observe an immediate result when he tested the technique.

Review and let me know what you all think!

~I.K.A. Valian


	13. Evil's Bane 2

_The Legend of Zelda_ is owned by Nintendo.

 _Naruto_ is owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

 **Evil's Bane**

* * *

Chapter Two: _Reaction_

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

The ninja of Konohagakure converged on the epicenter of the explosion. The Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Hiruzen, arrived in short order and quickly began to assess the situation. The Chief of Konoha Military Police, Uchiha Fugaku, arrived shortly after that.

With a nod to Fugaku, the Third Hokage turned and began to walk around the wreckage, inspecting the damage. Fugaku took the nod as a sign to take charge. It grated on the Uchiha's nerves that the Hokage would stay here to do what was really the job of the MP, but upon further thought, the Hokage had survived three Shinobi Wars. Any insight the old leader could grant from personally inspecting would certainly not hurt the investigation at all.

And he did give Fugaku the green light to lead the investigation instead of one of his own ANBU or the Jounin Commander. It was enough to make barking orders at that forsaken hour of the night (or was it morning) worth it. He quickly set his MP onto the scene. They cordoned off the area, collected evidence, and interviewed everyone who might have been a first person witness.

Sometimes he hated this village for what it did to his clan. Attempting to appease the Uchiha by giving them the fake 'responsibility' to protect the village was a badly veiled insult. Separating the clan from the rest of the village like they were in some kind of quarantine was a blatant insult. Despite these things, Fugaku was not above giving the Nidaime Hokage credit for recognizing that Uchiha would be the best investigative force Konoha would ever muster. Better than those damn Hyuuga, at any rate.

Every member of the MP investigating the scene had their Sharingan activated. To even become a field investigator you had to have achieved a full three tomoe in each eye. No detail escaped the eyes of an Uchiha, and before long, they would have the answers to what happened this night.

The investigation continued long into the afternoon of the next day.

* * *

The Third Hokage took a puff from his pipe as he stood in his office. The windows had already been replaced and they were much cleaner than the old ones. He was taking advantage of the newfound clarity by staring out over the damage that had been caused the night before. The damage hadn't appeared so bad until the sun had come up. Now the extent of it was laid bare. Behind him stood one ninja, wearing a mask with the facial markings of a dog's snout, and the standard black and grey uniform of the ANBU.

"He's not in the village anymore," the Hokage said. "If he were, I'd be able to find him in my crystal ball. Its range is limited, unfortunately, and the only thing I can do to help you is point you to the south. I'm sure your Ninken can find his scent and pick up his trail. Go quickly, before anyone is the wiser. I would be relieved if this was just some sick prank." Immediately the Hokage's mind cast to the explosion.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the masked ninja said. He bowed at the waist and vanished in a small puff of smoke.

"Where are you Naruto?" The Hokage asked as he surveyed the village.

* * *

The Hokage had decided that until the Military Police finished their investigation, the Village would go into high alert. It was possible, all things considered, that the person who had attacked the village would come back to take another whack. It was also possible that they were still in the village. In either case, the increased security level meant constant rotating wall patrols of teams of three Chunin to Jounin. Whoever had set off the explosion would not be getting back in or out of the village unnoticed.

The only folks capable of getting in or out would be someone with the proper papers to allow travel. At this point in time no one had those. When 'Dog' followed Uzumaki Naruto's most fresh scent trail straight into the epicenter of the explosion, he found himself in need of getting out.

It was logical to assume that if Naruto really was present for the explosion, then he was thrown clear of the area by the blast. Due to how large that explosion was, it was unlikely that he survived. However, the blast zone was completely free of a large spread of Naruto's scent. This meant the boy likely left the area in one piece, instead of pieces.

Even Pakkun couldn't find any pieces of him, though he did find a mangle corpse blackened to well done by the explosion. After flagging the find for the MP to look into later, Dog left the area. He ran all the way to the top of the Hokage Mountain and looked out over the village.

From this vantage point, Dog could see the entirety of the damage. Judging from where he found Naruto's scent ended, where the blast originated, and calculating the force and resulting trajectory of any object (roughly equal to Naruto in weight) propelled away from the blast zone, Dog traced his finger up and away from the epicenter of the explosion, up into the air, over the wall, and deep into the forest.

"No wonder Hokage-sama couldn't find him," Dog muttered to himself. Seconds later, the only trace that Dog had even been standing there was a small swirl of dust and leaves.

* * *

Naruto awoke with a start and a deep gasp of fresh air. He bolted upright and onto his feet. His heart was pounding in his ears and a cold sweat breaking out over his whole body. He quickly looked about the small clearing he was in, looked for the perceived threats, and found only trees, grass, shrubbery, and bugs.

The wind gently rustled the leaves overhead. The insects filled in the background with small chirps, pops, and snaps. The sun, directly overhead, cast no shadows in the clearing except for at the edges where the tree canopy started.

Slowly calming back to normal, Naruto felt the desperate fear to run leave him and slumped to the ground. "What the heck was that?" he wearily asked himself. "Someone blew up that building and killed a ninja. Well, I didn't kill the ninja or blow up the building, but I wonder if the building was set to explode when I started my prank." Naruto's lips curled into a snarl and his eyes reflected a depth of pain no eight year old should bear. "That old hag tried to kill me!"

His voice echoed for several seconds before the forest quiet encroached on the clearing once more. Naruto rubbed his face in his hands and groaned. "I can't believe that she actually tried to blow me up with her own building. Stupid hag. Now she's got no building and I'm still not dead. Heh, serves her right for trying to kill me. Stupid old hag. Should have brought more paint."

Naruto grunted as he got back to his feet and took a deep breath. "I wonder where I am. I've never been to this part of the forest before. Heck, I've never been allowed outside the walls before. How did I even get here, anyway?" Naruto mumbled out the last part as he slowly turned around on the spot and surveyed the clearing.

Eventually, Naruto spotted the small crater that he'd woken up next to. What caught his eyes wasn't the gouge in the earth, but the object that was now stuck into slightly upraised portion of dirt at the center of the crater. Almost as if the earth had given it a pedestal to be stuck into, a sword now stuck vertically out of the ground.

"Woah!" Naruto shouted as he ran up to the crater's edge. He hopped off of the edge and into the deeper area and moved closer to the blade. "This is so cool! I've never seen a sword like this!"

The blade was white, or it appears so in the noon sunlight. It had a double edge blade, unlike any other sword Naruto had seen, all of which only had one edge. This sword looked more like a kunai in that respect than a sword. But he had no doubt it was a sword, because of how long it was. Near the hilt, the sharp edge of the blade tapered off into a thinner, but no less thick, span of metal that reached up to the hilt. Engraved upon the blade was a small symbol of three triangles.

The hilt was blue with a yellow jewel situated like an eye at the center of the hilt where the blade met the hilt. The cross-guard lifted up and away from the blade and then back down and out, like a pair of blue wings spread out, ready to take flight. The grip was smooth, and a lighter shade of blue, with a series of criss-crossing green, ribbon like markings stretching across its length.

The sword as a whole veritably thrummed with power. Even standing in its presence filled Naruto with a sense of awe and wonder. And like any other child, Naruto was drawn to such a thing like a ninja to a forbidden secret.

At the exact moment Naruto's hand grasped the grip, Dog burst from the tree canopy. Dog's arms wrapped around Naruto's waist, just as Naruto lifted up. Both vanished into a column of blue light that became thinner and thinner until it vanished.

* * *

A/N: Here be Chapter 2 of the Naruto/Legend of Zelda crossover. Seems on the surface to be turning out like Naruto is the next Hero. Well, we all know ninja are exactly what they appear on the surface, aren't they?

Have thoughts/idea/questions? Let me know in a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	14. A Touch of Death 3

**A Touch of Death**

* * *

By: I.K.A. Valian

Chapter Three: _Team Seven_

* * *

Summary

Uzumaki Naruto was blessed three times the day he was born. His father blessed him with the power of human sacrifice. His mother blessed him with her love. The Shinigami blessed him with a shard of his own soul.

A Soul Blade.

* * *

Last Time

Naruto got his forehead protector from the Hokage and officially became a Genin. After visiting Iruka in the hospital and worshiping the ramen gods, Naruto went home knowing a kinship he'd never felt before, with Iruka his 'brother-from-another-mother' and Ayame his 'terrifying-with-a-soup-ladle' sister.

Later that week, the day before team assignments, Naruto handed in his Ninja Registration papers to the Hokage, and in the process, met Sarutobi 'badass-in-training' Konohamaru. Konohamaru was yearning for recognition, just like Naruto. Both of them sought the prestigious honor of getting to put on that fancy hat that the Old Man wears like a BOSS. Konohamaru begged and begged, and finally, Naruto accepted Konohamaru as his Apprentice for the day. After teaching Konohamaru the Sexy Jutsu, Naruto proved he was on his way to becoming a BOSS himself by defeating Konohamaru's Jounin Tutor with his brand new Harem Jutsu. After that display of power, and with the day nearly over, Konohamaru declared he was no longer Naruto's Apprentice, but his rival for front cover of Badass Weekly… and the title of Hokage.

* * *

The next day…

Naruto sat in class, chuckling to himself with a huge grin on his face. Today would be the day. The day that he finally got his team and took his first step toward becoming a ninja. Toward becoming Hokage.

"Huh?"

Naruto looked up at the kid, a young man who he clearly recognized as one of his tormentors, and tilted his head in askance. The kid in front of him, brown hair and one ugly face, always seemed to take pride in calling Naruto names and laughing at his misfortune in class. Naruto, of course, did his best to make people think he was an idiot and overacted all of the time to keep anyone from noticing how lonely and sad he was.

"What are you doing here, _Naruto_?" the kid asked, as if Naruto's name was insulting enough by itself. "This place is for people who graduated, not losers like you!"

"Hehe," Naruto chuckled and grinned up at the kid. Smiling, he'd found out, was the best way to deprive these assholes of their victories. You won if you didn't show them that they had hurt you. No matter how much they hurt him inside, he just grinned back at them like he won the lottery. Still projecting his happy face, he lifted his hand up and dinged his fingernail against the metal of his forehead protector. "See that? I graduated alright."

"Hmph," the kid muttered. "I guess they'll let anyone graduate now. You probably cheated."

Naruto scowled. He'd won the first round, but there really was no way to beat someone who openly doubted your claims without getting up and defending yourself. "I didn't cheat!" he shouted. "I passed fair and square!"

"You can't even make a decent clone! Not even one!" the kid shouted back. "How the hell could you have passed?!"

"I can too make clones!" Naruto shouted, shooting to his feet to prove it. He never got a chance because right at that moment, the girl of his dreams grabbed the kid by the back of his shirt and tossed him bodily out of the way. Pink hair, handsome kissable forehead, sparkling green eyes, yep, it was Haruno Sakura.

Naruto grinned as Sakura moved closer to him. Maybe, if this was a dream come true, she was going to hug him or give him a kiss. As soon as Sakura got close enough, her eyes hardened, and Naruto felt a thrill run up his spine as she reached out to grab him.

' _Duck!'_

His body acted on whatever command that had been and he ducked right underneath Sakura's grab. She clearly wasn't expecting this. Having missed Naruto, she was thrown off balance, and began to windmill her arms and teeter back and forth dangerously.

"Ahhh!" she cried out as she fell forward, right on top of Naruto's crouched form. Miraculously, she didn't hurt herself. Naruto, for his part, was simply too stunned from ducking for no reason _and_ because Sakura was now on top of him. "Naruto!" she screamed as she struggled to push herself off of him. "Get the hell out of my way!"

"Huh?" he asked, a dimwitted blankness stretched across his face.

After finally pushing herself back into a standing position, which wasn't easy considering the space between one row of seats and desks was barely wide enough for only one person to move around, she put her hands on her hips and glared at him. Her cheeks were tinged red from a combination of the exertion to get back up and embarrassment from what happened. "Get the hell out of my way! I'm going to sit next to Sasuke!"

Naruto slowly stood up from his crouch and looked behind him. Black fowl hair, onyx eyes, pale face, perpetual scowl, and a blue shirt with the red and white fan symbol printed on the back. Yep, there was that broody Bastard. Capitol B. Uchiha Sasuke. Why Naruto hadn't noticed him before now, he didn't really know, but now that he did, he wished he'd have sat somewhere else. Naruto quickly looked around the room and found… no other empty seats. Every one of the seats were taken except for the seat he was in, the one next to it along the aisle, and the one next to the window that Sasuke occupied.

Before Sakura could reach for Naruto again, he hopped up onto the desks and got right in front of Sasuke. The Uchiha was staring straight ahead with his arms resting on the desk and his hands clasped together in front of his face. Naruto got in real close, crouched down, to stare into Sasuke's eyes.

"N-Naruto!" Sakura screeched. Other girls quickly noticed the brazen act, and started shouting at Naruto as well. "Get away from Sasuke-kun, you idiot!" Sakura shouted. The other girls also were shouting things along similar lines.

Naruto glared at Sasuke. Sasuke, the petulant Bastard that he was, glared right back. They both stayed like that for several moments, just glaring at each other. It was almost as if both could feel the tension growing in the air around them.

"Dead Last," Sasuke sneered finally.

"Bastard," Naruto snarled right back.

* * *

Unknown to Naruto, the kid sitting in front of Sasuke leaned back in his chair. It was something the kid had done a lot and gotten in trouble for. It couldn't be helped that the kid liked leaning back on only two legs of a chair. Since none of the teachers were here right now, and the boy was enjoying his conversation with his friends, he just did it subconsciously. Having leaned back, the kid bumped into Naruto's butt.

* * *

Naruto, shoved forward, wouldn't have been able to avoid the lip smacking kiss with his hated rival were the voice from before not to have shouted, ' _Jump!_ ' at that very moment. All of the girls stared in horror as Naruto came within five centimeters of actually _kissing_ their wet dream guy, Sasuke. They all simultaneously sighed in relief when Naruto jumped straight up and over everyone.

Sakura, not caring about Naruto any longer since he wasn't in the way now, quickly assumed the seat she wanted. There, she proceeded to give the boy next to her googly eyes as she obviously tried to woo him with her 'cuteness'. She failed spectacularly, as proven by how Sasuke turned his head slightly to watch the scenery out of the window to his left.

Naruto noticed all of this before he safely flipped and landed behind the final row. Now in a stable crouch, he breathed deeply, from both the adrenalin coursing through his body and the shock of what had just happened.

Nearly kissing Sasuke? Yuck. Jumping for no apparent reason, just like he ducked for no apparent reason moments before? So weird it was beginning to scare him. "What the hell?" he asked in a low voice.

"Quiet down, class!" Iruka announced from the front where he'd just entered. "I'm glad… wait, where is Naruto?"

"I'm right here," Naruto said, quickly pushing aside any of his thoughts on the weird things happening to him at the moment. He stood up and raced down to the seat next to Sakura. Seated there, he grinned down at Iruka who was giving him 'the look' which indicated his displeasure at Naruto for being out of his seat.

"Beginning today, you are all real ninja," Iruka said once Naruto was in his seat. "But you are still just rookie genin. The hard part has only just begun. Soon enough, you'll be assigned duties by the village. Right now, you'll be put into three man Genin teams that will be taught by a Jounin Sensei. You will follow that sensei's instructions as you complete your assigned duties." Iruka coughed into his hand, taking note of the disinterested looks of every boy in the class, and how every girl was now looking in Sasuke's direction. Iruka grinned as he prepared to crush almost every girl's dreams. "For the sake of balance, you have been sorted into teams that even out your strengths. Team one…"

Naruto yawned as he slumped forward on his desk and half dozed, half paid attention. He really hoped he could get into a team with Sakura. But then again, as long as he didn't get into a team with that Grade A Bastard, then he'd probably be alright, even if he still wasn't with Sakura then. Maybe Shikamaru and Choji would be good teammates. They had cut class with him before along with Kiba. Kiba was really into his macho man thing though, so he didn't think the dog boy would be a good teammate. Maybe Akamaru?

"Team Seven," Iruka announced. "You will consist of Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura…"

Naruto jumped to his feet and shouted "Yes!"

Sakura slumped in her seat and muttered "Damn!"

"…And Uchiha Sasuke," Iruka finished.

Naruto felt whatever happiness he was experiencing being ripped away like a too thin blanket on a cold night by an evil orphanage nanny. It was almost like he could hear that vile bitch's cackling laughter echoing through the room as despair settled into his heart. He fell back into his chair and stared ahead with an open mouth, not completely able to comprehend what had just happened. It was like his worst nightmare and his dream all rolled together into some kind of fucked up super nightmare.

Next to him, Sakura was now on her feet and dancing. She mixed it up by spinning around and pointing victoriously at each of the other girls in the class, who were either glaring hatefully back or just moaning in despair. One girl got an, "In your face, Ami!" and Yamanaka Ino, in particular, got a rather obnoxious 'V' for victory sign.

Naruto ignored this in favor of letting his imagination conjure up all the horrible images of working together with Sasuke, who'd just constantly belittle him and do everything alone. The images made his hands curl up in anger. Like hell he'd let Sasuke get all the glory!

Naruto looked sharply to his left and found that the Uchiha hadn't moved much. In fact, it appeared that Sasuke hadn't moved at all the entire time. He was still staring straight ahead. Naruto narrowed his eyes and tried to guess what the glaring Uchiha was thinking about. From the dismissive way he was ignoring everyone around him, Sasuke was probably thinking he was better than anyone else. That line of thought only made Naruto's blood boil hotter.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto shouted, jumping to his feet. "Why the hell does someone as awesome as I am have to be stuck on the same team as a bum like that Bastard!"

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura bristled.

"Naruto," Iruka said, putting his hands on his hips as he leaned forward and glared. "Sasuke's grades were the highest amongst all twenty-seven students of the class. You were dead last. I already told you that the teams were balanced according to strengths and weaknesses."

"Hmph," Sasuke grunted. "Just don't get in my way, Dead Last."

"What did you say?!" Naruto shouted, snapping his head around to glare at Sasuke. "Say that again, you Bastard!"

"Give it a rest, Naruto!" Sakura shouted as she stood up and got into Naruto's face. "Just shut up and leave Sasuke-kun alone!" Before long, the two were having a rather loud argument.

Ignoring them, Iruka continued to announce the rest of the teams. After that, Iruka told the class, "Your Jounin Sensei will be by this afternoon to pick you up. You should break for lunch now."

* * *

Naruto sat atop the academy's highest roof top eating instant ramen from a small cup. As he slurped down the last of it, he let out a contented sigh. A grimace quickly found its way onto his face as his thoughts went back to the nightmare of the day.

"Damn that Sasuke. He went and ruined my good day!" Naruto grumbled. "And then Sakura had to go and start hitting me like I did something wrong. And what's with all those weird things my body was doing, moving on its own?" Naruto lifted up his arm and legs one at a time, looking for something that might stick out. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

After nothing presented itself to answer his question, Naruto groaned and slumped his shoulders dejectedly. He quickly brightened up again when, from his high vantage point, noticed a pink shade of hair sitting on a bench just a ways down the road at a park. Really, the bench was attached to the wall that surrounded the park, making it a seat right across from the Academy entrance. The park, technically labeled Training Ground One, was close enough that students sometimes ate their lunch there.

Naruto grinned as he hopped to his feet and ran along the roof to get closer. Maybe he could impress her by jumping down from the roof of the Academy and surprising her. As Naruto got into position and prepared to jump, he noticed someone approaching Sakura and froze stiff.

"What's _he_ doing here?" Naruto questioned under his breath. He leaned down low on the roof, hoping to blend in as much as possible when wearing an orange jumpsuit on a deep red tiled roof.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted as she jumped to her feet. Whatever kind of sandwich she was holding was quickly forgotten on the seat next to her. "You… um… you came to find me? You… You wouldn't want to… say something… to me? Would you?"

Naruto could just make out what they were saying. He scowled and wanted to turn away, not wanting to be around to listen to this crap. For some reason, though, his instincts told him to stay and listen.

In response to Sakura's question, unseen to Naruto, Sasuke scowled. "Where's Naruto," he asked. "It's time to go."

"Naruto?" Sakura said, recoiling slightly having said the name. "Who cares about Naruto?" On the roof, Naruto grit his teeth. Sasuke snorted loudly and started to walk away. "All he does is pick fights with you," Sakura continued. "Well… I guess it's not surprising, since he didn't have a normal childhood. He doesn't have any parents."

At this Sasuke stopped walking and glanced over his shoulder at Sakura curiously. Seeing this as some kind of interest in her, or more specifically, her knowledge, Sakura happily went on gossiping about Naruto. Shrugging and lifting her hands into the air dramatically, she said, "He can do whatever he wants. If I acted like _him_ , my parents would get really mad at me." Sighing, still hamming up how dramatic she could be in her gossip, Sakura rolled her eyes and shrugged as if to say, she sort of envied Naruto for not having parents. She backed up her excessively expressive body language with, "He's so lucky, all alone, parents never getting on his case over any chores or bad behavior. I'm almost envious of him."

Sasuke looked away from Sakura and muttered, "All alone?"

"Huh?" Sakura took a step closer to Sasuke, hoping her precious Sasuke was speaking to her.

"The pain of having a parent yell at you is nowhere _near_ what he feels," Sasuke said darkly, looking back at her and glaring.

Sakura gasped and began to shake. Such an intense look was usually only directed at Naruto, when he was being an idiot to Sasuke, as far as she knew. "Wh-what's that… look for?" Sakura asked, her voice wavering.

On the roof, Naruto narrowed his eyes. "What the hell is he doing, that Bastard?" he asked. "And how the hell does someone like _him_ think he knows anything about how I feel?"

"Sakura," Sasuke said, narrowing his eyes further and looking down right venomous. "You're annoying."

Having said that, Sasuke looked away and walked back into the academy. Naruto stayed where he was, despite his gut telling him to drop down on top of the Bastard and kicking his ass for doing whatever it was he did to Sakura. Instead of doing that, he settled for growling lowly as he watched Sasuke re-enter the Academy, leaving Sakura behind. With a final glance at his new pink-haired teammate, she didn't look like she wanted company right now, Naruto went against his instincts and left as well.

* * *

Sakura stood where she was when Sasuke left, her mouth hanging slightly open, her eyes wide. She couldn't imagine what she must have said to have generated that kind of… anger? Hatred? Such a hard, venomous glare directed at her by the guy she liked the most. Then he told her she was annoying?! Of all the things he could have said to describe her, such as cute, pretty, beautiful, or something like that, he instead calls her annoying?! She was annoying?! Why?!

All she did was talk about Naruto, the pest that he was. Sasuke was the one who brought him up in the first place. Why would he get angry at her because of Naruto?

She wasn't quite foolish enough to believe that this was Naruto's fault, despite how much of a gut reaction she had to resist to acknowledge that to herself. She could recognize that Sasuke, as perfect as he was, had simply come out to find them so they wouldn't be late to meet with their new sensei. Still, she couldn't quite grasp why Sasuke was angry at her for talking about Naruto being an orphan.

' _The pain of having a parent yell at you is nowhere_ _ **near**_ _what he feels._ '

The words played over and over again in her head. It took nearly a full five minutes before she remembered that Sasuke had lost his parents too. Both he and Naruto didn't have any parents at all. By insulting Naruto's parentless status, she'd insulted Sasuke as well.

Having finally figured it out, she felt even worse. Now she knew that she had not only been rejected by her crush, but she'd insulted him at the same time. She wondered, idly, if this was how Naruto felt all those times he asked her out and she brushed him off as if he were the smelly pile of dog doo that she'd stepped in.

Sitting down on the bench again, Sakura dipped her head and sighed forlornly. Images of Naruto and Sasuke flew around in her head. "Maybe," she said to herself, "I can be a little… nicer."

* * *

It happened again!

The first time it happened, when he ducked under Sakura's grab in the morning, he was just confused. He didn't know why he ducked, just that he had. The second time when he'd jumped right over Sasuke was a godsend, saving him from potentially kissing the bastard, but before he could think on what had happened beyond his life being saved, Iruka had come into the class room and all worry had been forgotten. Now it had happened again, his body had moved on its own.

Naruto probably should have been really, _really_ bored at this point. It was now three hours after the appointed meeting time and no one had shown up to claim Team Seven. All the other teams had Jounin come in and call them away by this point. Even Iruka had left.

Instead of being bored, however, Naruto was starting to freak out. He was staying as still as possible with his forehead pressed against the cool, smooth wood surface of a desk. He had his eyes closed and was trying to keep his body as relaxed as possible. His hope was, if he stayed as still as possible, his body wouldn't move unless he actually wanted it to.

After re-entering the Academy following lunch, Naruto had felt the urge to wipe that sneer off of Sasuke's face. He'd tried getting the jump on the pretty boy Uchiha, but Sasuke had seen it coming and jumped right over Naruto's tackle. Sasuke then lashed out with a kick aimed at Naruto's head, but Naruto's body turned his failed tackle into a body roll and easily evaded.

The fight, not that it could really be called such a thing, ended after that. Sasuke disappeared into the classroom and left Naruto lying sprawled out on the floor, staring up in surprise at the ceiling. Once was weird, twice was nuts, but _three_ times?! Three times now, Naruto's body had just moved on its own.

As soon as Naruto got back into the classroom, he put his head down on a desk and tried to not move at all. If his body was going to do things without him wanting them to happen, then he would do nothing and make every attempt to spite whatever the hell it was that was doing this. He was Uzumaki Naruto, not some puppet.

"I wonder where our sensei is," Sakura wondered with a sigh. She was seated in the row behind Naruto and hadn't really moved much except to go to the bathroom once. Sasuke had taken up residence on the other side of the room as far away from his new teammates as possible.

Daring to hope nothing weird happened, Naruto lifted his head up to look back at Sakura. She shrugged and swung her hand around to indicate she was talking about the empty class room. "Everyone else has gone already. Could our sensei have forgotten us? Maybe something bad happened and they had to call all of the Jounin in to deal with it."

Just as Sakura finished speaking, the door slid open and admitted a rather tall man. He didn't look very imposing. Aside from his height, he had a shock of silvery hair and a mask that covered the lower half of his face from his nose down. His left eye was covered by his forehead protector which was slanted in a form of a makeshift eye-patch. It was easy for Naruto to tell that he was a Jounin from his flack-jacket because he'd seen enough Jounin on his trips to the Hokage's office to know the difference between the rank's apparel. The flak jacket of a chunin was shorter and had less protection, pockets, and scroll sleeves. Also, this guy must have been in some kind of special forces position, because Naruto had only ever seen those kinds of metal-backed gloves on ANBU when they were chasing him after one of his 'liven-up-Konoha-with-fun' projects.

"Ah, sensei!" Sakura stood up and made a short bow. "It is good to meet you." From the twitching her lips made as she tried to maintain her smile, it was clear she really didn't feel as magnanimous as she was letting on.

"Hmm…" their sensei said. "How can I put this?" He crossed his arms and glanced at each of them in turn. He tilted his head as one might see a dog do when it doesn't fully comprehend what it's seeing. "My first impression is… not very good."

The three new genin returned their new sensei's bored look with a flat one. After several seconds they watched the man smile… _with his only visible eye-lid_. "Meet me on the roof." The man brought his hands together and with a small clap, vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto glanced at his teammates and saw that they too weren't sure what they'd just seen. "Did he just smile with his eyeball?" The other two glanced at him but remained silent. With a weary, bored sigh, Naruto stood up and started for the roof. He hoped he could get through the rest of the day without his body rebelling against him again or anymore creepy Jounin smiling at him with body parts that were not supposed to move that way.

* * *

"So how about we begin with introductions."

"What do you want to know, sensei?" Sakura asked. She was seated in between Naruto and Sasuke. They all sat on a set of steps in the middle of the roof garden on the Academy. The breeze blew gently through the trees planted on either side of them and the sun was at the perfect angle to be blocked by most of the leaves. Their sensei was across from them, leaning against the railing that ran along the edge of the roof.

"Oh you know," the man said. He waved his hand lazily about in the air. "Your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future. That stuff."

"Hey!" Naruto said. "Why don't you introduce yourself first?"

"Yeah…" Sakura said. Then she muttered, "You look kind of suspicious."

"Oh… me first?" the man's half lidded visible eye blinked once, but other than that his facial features and posture never budged. "Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi. I have many likes and dislikes… that I have no desire to tell you. Dreams for the future… Hmm." Kakashi paused, almost as if he were considering what to say. Instead, he continued speaking. "I have lots of hobbies."

"So all we learned," Sakura summed up, "was his name."

"Okay, enough about me," Kakashi said with another one of his impossible eye smiles. "You first, blondie."

"Yosh!" Naruto said. All fears about his body acting without guidance left his mind as he felt excitement rise up inside of him. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. What I like is cup ramen. What I like even more is when Iruka-sensei buys me ramen from Ichiraku. What I don't like is the three minutes it takes for cup ramen to finish heating up.

' _Does he think about anything except ramen?_ ' Kakashi wondered.

"My dream," Naruto said, reaching up to readjust his forehead protector, "is to become Hokage and surpass everyone that has come before me and get the people of the village to acknowledge my existence." The silence that followed was only broken by the waving trees in the wind. With the dramatic moment over, Naruto finished his introduction with, "And for hobbies… pranks I guess."

"Alright," Kakashi said. He pointed at Sasuke. "You, the brooding one."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," Sasuke said quickly and precisely. "There are many things I dislike and there is nothing I like. I don't have a dream, but an ambition that I _will_ make happen. I will resurrect my clan and kill a certain man."

Naruto grimaced. "I hope he isn't talking about me," he muttered under his breath. Beside him, Sakura had her hands clasped together in front of her and was openly staring at Sasuke with her mouth open.

"Alright…" Kakashi said. By his tone of voice, it was clear he wasn't entirely sure how to take such a morbid self assessment. "Lastly, Pinky."

"Oh, um…" Sakura coughed into her hand in a futile attempt to regain her dignity. "My name is Haruno Sakura. I like…" She trailed off to slowly glance at Sasuke. Catching herself, she force herself to look forward again and said, "I mean… the person that I like is… Err…" Sakura force herself to face forward again. "My dreams for the future…" Sakura trailed off as she imagined hugging Sasuke while several pink haired children ran around their feet. Sasuke would tell her that he loved her, would do anything for her, take her on enormous shopping sprees, and tell her she was perfect in every way. "OH YEAH!" Sakura shouted with a fist pump.

"O…K," Kakashi said. "Any dislikes? Hobbies?"

"What I dislike is N-… err… something," Sakura mumbled. "And my hobby is…" she glanced at Sasuke again. "Hehe…"

Naruto looked at Sakura with a mixture of confusion and worry. He was sure that she was just about to say she didn't like him. In fact, he was used to her saying things like that. Now that she seemed to have stopped herself, he could only wonder what had made her stop.

"I see… well, now that introductions are complete, here, take these," Kakashi pushed off of the railing and handed a sheet of paper to each of the genin. "These are instructions for our first mission. It will be a team mission, with just the four of us."

"What kind of mission, sensei?!" Naruto asked. All thoughts about his previous involuntary movements and Sakura's strange behavior were quickly and completely forgotten.

"Heh," Kakashi chuckled. "Survival training."

"Survival training?" Sakura said questioningly. "Why that? We did a lot of survival training in the Academy."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, nodding his agreement.

"This isn't normal training," Kakashi said. "Hehe."

"What kind of training is it then?" Naruto asked.

"Hehehehe," Kakashi laughed maniacally. "Hahahahaha."

"W-what's so funny… sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Haha…" Kakashi waved their concern off. "I apologize, but it's just so funny that when I tell you, you'll flip."

"Flip…" Naruto said. "Huh?"

All humor suddenly vanished and the warm, almost light atmosphere vanished and was replaced by something cold, heavy and dark. Kakashi leaned forward, looking bored, and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Of the twenty seven graduates from your class, only nine will be chosen as Genin. This survival test has a failure rate of sixty-six percent."

Naruto felt his mouth drop open as his eyes widened. Sakura visibly went paler than her pale skin already was. Sasuke just added an Uchiha Glower to his Uchiha Glare.

"Heheh," Kakashi chuckled into the now silent, tense atmosphere. "See, I told you that you'd flip."

"What the hell, sensei?!" Naruto exploded. "We went through all that just to graduate! Why do that if we have to pass this now?!"

"Oh, that?" Kakashi shrugged carelessly. "That was just a screen to select those who have a chance to become Genin." Kakashi pushed himself away from the wall and started walking away. "Read the instructions I gave you and bring all your ninja tools to the training field." Kakashi hopped up onto the railing and was about to leap off when he stopped and looked back over his shoulder. "Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Silly me. I suggest you don't eat breakfast. You might throw up."

* * *

That night, Naruto tried to train as best he could. He made up a life sized doll of Kakashi and even gave it a fake forehead protector that was slanted over the doll's fake left eye. However, just as soon as he put his hands together into the sign to make Shadow Clones…

' _SLEEP!_ '

* * *

Naruto awoke to the chirping of birds. It was relatively annoying enough to draw him out of his sleep, but not enough to wake him up completely. Waking up on the floor, to boot, wasn't out of the ordinary either. He'd done so several times before and the only reason he could think of was that he must have had some kind of crazy dream.

The blond went through his morning routine: brushed his teeth, took a short shower, changed into his day clothes, and ate four healthy heaping servings of the best, most tastiest substance this world could offer. Ramen, the food of the gods.

That done, Naruto put on his forehead protector and was about to walk out the door when the final part of his brain finished booting up and reminded him that he had a genin test today. Frantically, Naruto bolted back into his apartment just long enough to see the clock and that he was now, officially, three hours late at five till eleven in the morning.

"Oh shit!" Naruto screamed as he bolted out the door, locking it as he went. "I am so late! I am so busted!"

* * *

"You're late!" Sakura shouted. "Where the heck were you, Naruto?!"

"I'm - _gasp_ \- sorry – _gasp_ \- slept in – _gasp_ -" Naruto wheezed. After spending five full minutes catching his breath, he looked around the small clearing of Training Ground Three. "Where's sensei?"

"He's even later than you," Sakura whined. Naruto looked at her and then did a double take. She had bags under her eyes and she looked really tired and hungry. A quick glance to the side where Sasuke was sitting under a tree found much the same conditions.

"Oh crud…" Naruto said.

"What did you do this time, Naruto?" Sakura asked with an angry scowl on her face.

"I slept all night and I ate a big, healthy breakfast five minutes ago."

Sakura stared at him with her half dead features. More like glared at him. Naruto felt a chill go up his spine and assumed that Sasuke was glaring at him now too.

"I really hate you right now, Naruto," Sakura said.

Naruto slumped his shoulder and moaned. He hadn't even done anything… well, he had done something, but he hadn't done anything to her yet. Already she was saying she hated him.

"Good morning!"

"You're late!" Sakura shouted as she spun around and pointed angrily at Kakashi, who'd just appeared. The man tilted his head curiously before he shrugged.

"A black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around. That said, a ninja has to be prepared for anything, as the saying goes," Kakashi said nonchalantly. "Even if that means going hungry and waiting for several hours before they can complete their mission." He glanced over his three students, taking in their emaciated, hungry, tired, poor poor- Kakashi's gaze stopped on Naruto. "Naruto… did you eat breakfast?"

"I didn't mean to!" Naruto shouted. Already he was sweating bullets. If he managed to make Kakashi fail the whole team, not only would Sasuke really have it out for him through the next year of the Academy, but Sakura would probably never look at him again. "I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing and I was really out of it after I slept and I'm reallysorryKakashi-sensei."

At this point, Naruto was prostrating himself on the ground in front of Kakashi. The Jounin merely raised an eyebrow before he took a quick glance at the other two. Sakura looked pensive, probably wondering how he would react. Sasuke looked ready to… kill Naruto. He probably thought Naruto had lost their chance. Silly, silly Uchiha.

"Good job," Kakashi said, with another eye-smile. "You know, not many people ignore what I suggest, even if it's a detriment to their abilities."

"What?!" Sakura shouted. "What do you mean 'good job'?! Naruto did what he wasn't supposed to!"

"Not really," Kakashi said, his weird little eye smile still present. "I only suggested that you don't eat because there was a possibility that you could throw up what you ate. That said, Naruto admitted he wasn't paying attention to what he was doing, so if he does throw up, it's his own fault."

Sakura shivered and then took a large step away from Naruto. Naruto, now kneeling, turned a little green when he tried to imagine how difficult this test would be. Sasuke sneered and scoffed, first at Kakashi, and then at Naruto.

"Well, then," Kakashi said. He pulled an alarm clock out of his pocket and set the timer to go off at noon. Then he placed the alarm down on one of the three wooden training posts set up in the middle of the training field. "You have until noon to take these two little bells." At this Kakashi jingled two bells tied to two strings he held in his hand. "Those who get a bell by noon pass. Any of you who do not have a bell will not only be going back to the Academy, but I'll tie you to one of those posts and eat your lunch in front of you." At that bit of news, two stomachs made loud gurgling noises of protest. Kakashi made his weird, and completely impossible eye smile again. "Though, in Naruto's case, I may just tie him upside down from a tree and swing him around till he horks."

"You are a mean, cruel, horrible man, sensei," Naruto said solemnly.

Kakashi's response was to eye smile again. "You only need to get one bell. There are, obviously, only two, so one of you will definitely be tied to a stump, or horking his brunch, as the case may be. That person will also fail and so will also be the one going back to the academy."

Two more grumbles from the same stomachs as earlier made themselves known. Naruto glanced back and forth between his teammates. Sakura looked about ready to devour him and Sasuke looked like he was torn between killing Naruto for eating something and using him as cannon fodder to get a bell from Kakashi.

"It's also possible that none of you could get a bell. You should use all your tools and skills that you've learned up until now," Kakashi said as he tied the two bells to his waist. "You won't succeed unless you come at me with the intent to kill."

"But…" Sakura looked at Kakashi with some amount of concern written on her face. "But, sensei. You could die!"

Without realizing what he'd done, Naruto's hand had drifted up to the hilt of his sword. Again, without realizing it, Naruto drew that sword and leveled it in a defensive position in front of him. The blond only realized what he'd done when he saw the tip of the sword wavering back and forth in front of him.

Kakashi noticed this and did his weird eye smile. "Well it seems like you're ready to come at me with the intent to kill," the Jounin said. He glanced at the other two and found Sasuke with a kunai in his hand. Sakura still looked rather scared, but she appeared more prepared now than a few seconds ago. "I think I'm beginning to like you guys."

Sakura smiled a little and fell into a defensive taijutsu stance. Perfect textbook rendition of it, too. Sasuke gripped his kunai tighter and tensed in preparation. Naruto, remained as he was, watching Kakashi like a hawk.

"Ready…" Kakashi glanced at each one of his students. "Start!"

* * *

A/N: So here be Chapter 3 of A Touch of Death. To answer a review, no, it isn't like Ichigo's sword, especially because it is not a zanpakutou. Zanpakuto start their life off as blank slates called Asauchi that, over time, are bathed in the spiritual pressure of the Shinigami they are assigned to and thus gain a personality and develop powers unique that that individual. Ultimately they gain a name, and in learning that name, the Shinigami in question are able to release their powers in what is known as Shikai, a.k.a. First Release or Initial Release. (Bankai is Full Release).

Naruto, on the other hand, has a soul blade, a weapon made from the singular Shinigami of the Naruto-verse when he cut off a shard of Naruto's soul and forged it into a weapon. These soul shards are not always forged into katana, or even weapons at all. They could be forged into jewelry, clothes, or even a birthmark. No matter what they are forged into, they endow their wielder with extraordinary abilities, usually ones associated with Yin-release or some type of soul manipulation. This is because the objects were forged out of a person's soul and thus would be considered pure Yin chakra in the living world. As mentioned in chapter 2, the Hatake Clan had the White Chakra Saber, which was a Soul Blade passed down through the Hatake Clan. I didn't give any background on why they had one, or who first obtained it (or whether one has to be a newborn to obtain one), so that is still a mystery yet to be answered.

As you might have guessed, there will be multiple instances of Soul Blades appearing in the Shinobi World, or this version of it at any rate. And Kakashi just so happens to have trained with a katana-type soul blade himself so would be the most appropriate person to train Naruto in his own sword's use. Getting back to the main point, Naruto's sword is just a plain old looking Katana, kind of badly maintained at that, but what can be expected when the boy's soul has been tarnished with all the hatred of the villagers. The condition of the sword is not insignificant, after all.

Anyway, thanks for coming by! Leave a review and tell me what you think!

~I.K.A. Valian


	15. All Things Being Equal 2

**All Things Being Equal**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

 _What if Obito had doubts about Madara's plan? How much would everything change if he put a counter plan in motion, in case the Moon's Eye Plan failed, or worse, succeeded beyond all expectations? Honestly, how does he expect one man to stop what could be summed up as the fate of the world?_

* * *

Chapter Zero-Zero-Two: _A Future Hope_

* * *

"Do you understand the task for which you were summoned?" asked the mud clone.

The man nodded. "I understand. I will make sure the plan you described doesn't fail or exceed its mandate."

"Very well," the clone said. "I will dispel now. You are free to pursue your task in any way you see fit. Should you succeed, you will be sent back. Failure will mean death. Do not fail." Having said that, the clone suddenly let out a sigh as its colors faded and the whole thing turned into a semi solid collection of mud shaped like a man. That mud then slumped into a pile as the last of the chakra left it and gravity took hold once more.

The man, tall with rich brown eyes and sandy brown hair, turned to look behind him. He could still see the nine writhing tails of the red demon that had appeared several moments after the first man literally stepped _through_ space. He watched as the demon roared and destroyed the landscape, as well as the village in the distance that the creature was standing inside of.

As the events destined to happen played out before him, the man opened his mouth, took in a deep, deep breath, and shouted, " **FUCK!** "

With everything that was happening at that time around the village in the distance and the valley in front of him, it was no wonder that no one ever heard the very loud swear word echoing through the clearing. Some birds that were hiding from the oppressive weight of the great demon's chakra were startled from their havens and squawked loudly as they flew away from the naked man.

The naked man turned and walked away from the cliff side into the forest behind him.

* * *

Sitting on the side of the road leading into a deep forest with tall trees, the same man was hunched over a scroll of paper, scribbling words with a brush and ink as best he could. He was no longer naked, now clothed in a rather dingy brown-gray cloak that appeared to be too big for his average frame. Underneath that, he had on a simple gray shirt and pants that was frayed at the edges and was obviously a size too small, as his flat, but undefined stomach showed to any who looked.

 _Journal._

 _First Entry._

 _Day Forty-four._

 _Today I finally managed to snag myself a couple of sheets of paper. I can finally begin writing about things that have happened to me over the past five weeks. I hope writing down everything that's going on in my head will help me deal with the fact that I'm in another reality._

 _Holy crap! Yes! It's true!_

 _I've tested to see if I'm dreaming or hallucinating by purposely injuring myself. I nearly lost a hand to a farming tool of some kind, but I'm quite certain now that this is all real. I've tested to see if this is just some elaborate hoax or practical joke. But after watching a bunch of bandits mercilessly slaughtering the innocent farm family before ninjas (real ninjas!) came to chase them off has sufficiently convinced me that this is not a hoax or a joke._

 _I really was brought into this world by Obito. He really did summon me from home. Home… where this whole world was considered nothing more than a fictional universe. Hell, the author had already finished the story and had released several short sequel one-offs. To find out that this world is real has totally screwed with my head. I spent my first month here performing the experiments written about above and coming to terms with the fact that I'm really here._

 _It is hard to believe, but I must carry on regardless. Obito, for what it's worth, has promised that I'll be sent home if I complete the "task" he assigned me. He wants me to make sure that his and Madara's plan succeeds, or if it doesn't work as advertised, make sure it fails so that another path can be taken._

 _The man is clearly insane. I have no chakra, and clearly, have no manner of working against the plans that Obito and Madara set in motion on the day I arrived. How he thinks that I can assure his plan succeeds or fails is beyond my capacity of understanding. That said, I did not mention during my "mission briefing" that I am clearly biased against his plan and will actively work to make sure his plan fails. Not that Obito actually explained what his full plan was, since all he said was "I want to remake this world into a place where no one dies or suffers." But having come from a world where his full plan is known and defeated by a sixteen year old blond boy with blue eyes and a nine tailed demon sealed into him, I'm fairly certain I know far more than he anticipated._

 _One point for me, on that one, Obitobi._

 _So, I'm stuck now, in this world of ninja. What am I going to do? Should I look for a way to go home? It might just be that only Tobi has the ability to send me home. No… there is one other person who has the same power as Tobi, even though he doesn't realize it. At this point in time, it's sixteen years or so before Kakashi learns how to use Kamui. Whatever Tobi did, it was related to space and time, which is a Kamui thing, right? If I could somehow speed that process up, then I have a second way to return home and I won't have to screw around with this freaking place._

 _How do I get Kakashi to awaken the Mangekyo Sharingan faster? How can I get him to trust me? And will Kakashi be able to send me home if or when he gets the ability to? Just thinking about these things is making my head hurt._

 _My goal is to find a way home. One way or another. If I have to sacrifice this world… then so be it. I don't belong here. I shouldn't even be here. I need to return to my own world, no matter the cost._

 _I should probably be taking this whole thing in baby steps. So the first step to getting home would be… crap… I dunno. I'm so screwed._

 _At least in the last week I found some good luck. Some guy passed out drunk on the side of the road didn't need this nifty cloak with all these pockets in them. It even had this paper I'm writing on and the ink I'm writing with stored in it. Sure, the thing is a bit large, but it fits and it keeps me warm at night. Because I just watched the Nine-tails assault the village a month ago, I am assuming that I'm in fire country, so it's not_ _ **that**_ _cold. This is fortunate because the other clothes I found drying on a laundry line are a bit too small for me._

 _In any case, I'm headed toward Konoha. I assume this road I'm on will lead me there. I just hope I can figure out what to do once I get there. That is, if they even let me in._

The man lifted the brush from the scroll and blew on the quickly drying ink. Once it was dry, the man rolled the scroll up and stashed it into a pocket sewn into the inside of his cloak along side the brush and ink well. That finished, the man stood up and started walking down the road toward the forest.

The sky overhead rumbled softly before the pitter patter of water drops hitting the ground started up. In very little time, the rain storm was dropping a steady rhythm of water onto the landscape. Fortunately, for the man, the rain didn't penetrate the tree cover very well.

* * *

"Halt!"

The stranger came to a halt and lifted the hood covering his head. He gave a bewildered look as he took in his surroundings. A huge, tall wall with a gate almost as high and wide enough to fit a four lane highway through. A thick, heavy forest on either side butting up against the wall that was higher still than the stories tall trees. The gate was closed now, with two men standing in front of the door.

The two men wore identical uniforms. One was taller than the other, so his green flak jacket and black outfit beneath was several times larger. They also shared a similar expression, one of complete and utter apathy. They clearly didn't care, or didn't seem to care, about what they were seeing. That said, their actions belied their expressions, because both of them had their hands the hilts of a Tanto sword strapped behind their backs and were leaning forward threateningly.

"Konohagakure no Sato is currently not open to civilian traffic. State your name and business and then leave," the smaller of the two men said in a clipped tone that made clear that he wasn't going to be accepting any funny business from the stranger.

The stranger blinked a few times before he ran a hand through the scraggly locks of brown hair haphazardly falling from his head. "I'm not sure my name would mean anything seeing as how I'm just a homeless man. I heard Konoha had jobs available from a merchant I met a while back and considering your villages reputation, it seemed like a worthwhile opportunity." The two ninja guards shared a quick glance but didn't release their swords.

"As I said," the smaller ninja repeated, "Konoha is in a state of emergency. No civilians are allowed in or out at this time."

"Can I wait?" the stranger asked, interrupting the guard.

"We-err, what?"

"Can I wait here?"

"No," the larger guard said suddenly. "Now please leave. There is no place for you here."

The stranger bowed his head, letting the gathered moister from the drizzling rain drain off of his long bangs. "I see," he said. Slowly, the stranger pulled his hood up and turned around. He started walking back down the road.

"Wait!" The stranger stopped and looked back over his shoulder as the smaller man was walking forward.

"Toshiro!" shouted the larger man.

Toshiro spun around and must have gave the larger man a glare. "You heard this guy, Ichise! He's homeless! Even if we can't let him inside, we can't just send him out there alone like this!"

"He got here on his own somehow," Ichise argued, "he can obviously take care of himself! The village is damaged enough as it is, we don't have the resources or the capacity to take in outsiders!"

"Your house was destroyed by that monster, wasn't it?!" Toshiro shouted. Ichise flinched. "How can you accept the hospitality of my wife and I as we accepted you into our home and not be able to show some kind of mercy to those less fortunate that _you_ are?!" Toshiro pointed at Ichise and said in a much lower volume, "We're better than that, Ichise. Konoha is better than that. Even when we're at our worst. I'd expect Cloud or Stone to send people away, but Konoha doesn't and won't."

"Toshiro," Ichise said in a strained and tired voice. "We can't let him in. It doesn't matter if he's homeless. The village has been locked down and for a damn good reason."

"I know that," Toshiro snapped back, "but that doesn't mean that we can't let him stay out here and wait."

"I…" Ichise curled his lips in disgust and then his shoulders slumped. "Fine. Do what you want. But I'm not taking the heat for this from Lord Hokage."

Toshiro rolled his eyes and turned back to the stranger. "I'm sorry, but you can't enter the village. But if you want to wait, you may be allowed in later."

The stranger turned around fully and nodded his thanks to Toshiro. "Thank you. I greatly appreciate that."

Toshiro nodded and moved back to his post standing next to Ichise. The stranger moved to the side of the road where a fallen tree sat conveniently where people could sit on it. There was a guardhouse next to the door where Ichise or Toshiro entered every so many minutes to give updates to someone on the other end of a radio.

* * *

"I'm sorry that it took over a week before you were allowed in," Ichise said. "The state of emergency was only just lifted."

"It's fine," the stranger said. "I understand. You were just doing your job and it's not like I can fault you for that. Besides, you already explained that one time about how there were security concerns. No doubt a village as famous as Konoha has many enemies and needs to be on the look out."

"Yeah," Ichise said solemnly. "You know, I didn't think I'd ever get to like you at all. You're not what I'd expect from a homeless man. You're quite well educated compared to the normal riff-raff I've met on missions outside of the village."

"Some say knowledge is its own reward," the stranger said. "Others say that knowledge is power. I believe knowledge is merely a tool that one can use to better their life. The greater your knowledge, the stronger your tool. I'm sad to say that despite my learning, I just can't seem to find any luck out there."

"As you mentioned, there are many bandits and rogue ninja in Kiri," Toshiro said with a nod. "I can see now why you'd find Konoha so appealing."

"Compared to Kiri, Konoha sounded like heaven," the stranger said, "which is odd, considering how many tropical islands that Kiri has under its control. But even a tropical paradise ruled by a tyrant can be a hell on earth."

"Say, Ian, why haven't you gone in yet?" Ichise asked. "The gate's been open for several hours now and you've just been wasting time out here with us." Ian raised an eyebrow as he glanced curiously at large bearded man. "I-uh.. I mean," Ichise spluttered, "that is, you've been waiting for so long that if I were in your position, I'd rush in as soon as I could."

Ian smiled up at the big man. "Of course, but you two have kind of grown on me." Toshiro smirked while Ichise couldn't help but grin broadly. "Plus, gate guard duty has to be pretty boring so I figure I might try to repay your kindness for letting me wait by keeping you company."

"Your help rebuilding the village's damage would be help enough for me," Toshiro said. "It would get this ugly pig out of my house sooner."

"Pig! Ugly!"

"Yeah, yeah," Toshiro said. He closed his eyes and indifferently waved off Ichise's anger with a lazy swing of his hand. "Fine, you're not a pig."

"Hmph, that's be-wait!" Ichise's eyes bulged as he tried to hold in his anger. "Are you saying I'm ugly!" Swallowing loudly, Ichise turned to Ian and grinned while reaching out and punching the smaller Toshiro with one of his fists. Toshiro laughed as he was pushed slightly but didn't stumble. "As you can see, we keep ourselves occupied."

"Go on," Toshiro said, waving Ian into the village through the now village gates. The massive wooden doors were swung open letting the sunlight that was choked off by the canopy over the road in from the village side. "You're homeless right now, so you'll need to find a shelter to register at as a reconstruction worker. Then you'll need to find one of the labor bosses overseeing the work crews to get started. If you follow this road, you should find what you're looking for without any trouble."

Ian nodded and then shook both Toshiro's and Ichise's hands. "Thanks, both of you."

"Hey, if you really want to thank us," Ichise said, "when you get some money, how about buying us a few drinks."

Ian smiled and nodded. After that, Ian, the stranger in a strange land, entered the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

* * *

Ian pulled out the scroll from the pocket in his cloak and unrolled it. Got to the part where he'd left off last and brought the new pencil he'd bought to bear. The other patrons at the bar, which serviced both shinobi and civilians alike, didn't pay Ian any mind as he sat in a dark corner of the establishment and wrote.

 _Journal._

 _Seventh Entry._

 _Day Sixty-Nine._

 _I've been a construction worker here in Konoha for two weeks now. As I mentioned before, it took a short while and several helpful people pointing me in the right direction before I found the shelter and the work boss, most of the first day, actually. After that, I sort of fell into the routine that I described last time. All things said, it's not been that bad of an experience so far, building houses for those who were displaced by the rampage of the nine-tails._

 _Speaking of the nine-tails, I found out the hard way that it's something of a taboo subject around here. Never mentioned it personally, but whenever I ask about what caused all of the damage, people just clam up, change the subject, or tell me to stop asking questions that I'm better off not knowing the answer too._

 _It's a bit freaky how much control the ninja establishment has in Konoha, but at the same time, at least the ninja aren't indiscriminately killing people just because they can. I met this old drunk guy who used to live in some village that was wiped out a long time ago in the second war. Seems that Konoha actually did the world a service by wiping the 'Village Hidden under the Moss' off the face of the planet. It sounded like it was worse to live there than it would living in Wave under Gato. At least Gato didn't have a whole village of ninja to order around and suppress the people with._

 _Aside from state sponsored censorship, I can't really find anything to complain about in Konoha. It's hot, sure, but the nights are cool enough to make up for it. The breezes here are awesome, especially on top of the Hokage Mountain, which I was allowed to go up on top of during some kind of civilian allowed ceremony. Civies aren't allowed up there normally for several reasons, the main one being the several high level training areas up there. Not to mention the hidden bases that I know are inside of the mountain, despite them not being so much of a secret as they are just hidden._

 _Living in the homeless shelter isn't so bad either. Seeing as how the nine-tails destroyed a lot of homes, there are a lot of people that have been displaced. But, rather than get depressed, the villagers I've seen and met during my stay here have been hard working and optimistic about the future. Why wouldn't they?_

 _After all, not three months ago, their greatest hero, Hokage, and ninja defeated the feared nine-tailed fox. At this point, the only thing that the village seemed to fear was another war breaking out because other villages might think that Konoha was weak after the fox attack. And having just finished the third war with Iwa, decimating their foe in the process, it was likely that Kumo would be the attacker. Kumo, of course, hadn't come out of the last war unscathed, while Konoha was riding high and strong still, despite the fox._

 _The patriotism and nationalism here are astounding. Everyone here fervently believes that they live in the greatest hidden village ever, that Konoha is practically invincible. Everyone is practically jumping over themselves to help and do something to make the village stronger. They then turn around and take pride in their citizenship. A part of me wonders if this wave of pride and willingness to help make this place stronger is simply a reaction to the attack itself. The people here may not want to admit it, but they were hurt by the fox's attack. They were hurt by the death of all their loved ones. They were hurt badly and now everyone is doing whatever they can to help if only to make the pain go away even a little. That's probably why everyone around me is a patriot and a national at this point._

 _I hope this wave of state supporting emotion wears off soon. I mean, there's nothing wrong with believing in your nation or wanting to help. But the way that most of the people here are putting every ounce of their being into it is disconcerting and a little bit frightening._

 _At least the kids seem to be oblivious to atmosphere around here. Or oblivious as kids are want to be. They probably can sense the fear and other things flying around, but don't know what it means. I've seen a few kids running around the street on my way to and from work. They're usually laughing and screaming or playing 'ninja' as the game is called. It's a little bit odd to see children running around, throwing things at each other, and then brawling and grappling until they can barely breathe. And then the adults around them are just laughing at the display as if it were normal._

 _I mentioned this before, but the anachronistic nature of this world is quite astounding. Back home, the manga had examples of electronics such as radios, alarm clocks, televisions, satellite dishes, electric lights, and so on. Now that I'm actually here… I'll just say that I still haven't gotten over how a civilization can have technology on the level of putting satellites into space and yet still transport cargo long distance by donkey and cart. What the hell, world?!_

 _I mentioned last entry that I was thinking about trying Ichiraku. I was hesitant before because if I became a regular there, I know who I'd end up running into sooner than later there. Well, I bit the bullet and had lunch there two days ago. Let me tell you that I've had ramen before. The self boil kind you need a pot for and the instant variety. They have both here, too. The ramen that Teuchi makes at Ichiraku, well, that's set a new standard for my ramen tastes. It's hard to treat myself to an instant ramen meal anymore, because it tastes like shit in my mouth compared to the symphony of flavors that Teuchi can produce with one bowl of Miso Ramen. The man is a ramen cooking GOD!_

 _Most of the people I meet here are very friendly. The work boss was a hardass at first, though after a few days, I warmed up to him. Or rather, he started yelling at me more and I started working more because he found out that I was accomplishing my task faster than anyone else. Actually, I'll be truthfull, I respect the man, but Akahabe is an asshole. I wish he'd take a long walk off a short pier wearing lead shoes. Asshole that he is, the man knows how to build buildings and the pay is good enough to keep me from looking elsewhere for work._

 _And where else would I work? That's another thing. Once all of this reconstruction is complete, I'm going to be out of work. Toshiro mentioned that if I can't find work again soon after that, then I'll be escorted to the nearest friendly village to find work. Konoha may not be as sadistically evil as other villages, but they don't seem to suffer idle workers either._

 _Well, here's hoping I can find new work soon. It's already starting to be harder to see any of the damage done by the fox. I think I might be able to find work in the market district from the rumors I'm hearing around the other workers._

 _I need to save up money and get official citizenship here in the village. Once that's done, I can work on a way to stop Obito, find Kakashi, or whatever other plans I can think up. I'm really just flying by the seat of my pants here._

Ian looked up, his eyes narrowed as his blurry vision took in the rest of the bar. It was loud there for a while but now it was much more empty and it looked like the bartender was closing the place down. Ian pocketed his pencil and scroll before ordering a drink from the bar. After downing the alcohol, Ian left.

* * *

"Ouch!"

Ian rubbed the bump forming on his head as he looked up. The sky was pretty and blue and completely empty. Bending down on one knee, Ian picked up the roll of paper that had struck him and inspected it. It didn't take him long, from inspecting the inked designs on the paper, to realize that he was holding a roll of exploding tags.

"Holy shit!" Ian's hands tensed and his hands suddenly became much more jittery. Considering what he held was enough to disintegrate his body, he was understandably scared. Before he could drop the roll of tags though, it fell back into the palm of his hand and he grabbed it.

Looking up again, Ian searched the sky once more. "I wonder who dropped this? Eh… I better give this to someone who knows how to handle it."

Several minutes of walking later, Ian found himself at the gate he'd entered several weeks before. As before, he found Toshiro and Ichise guarding it. They waved at him as he approached, and Ian waved back with a friendly smile.

"Ian," Ichise boomed. "What brings you out here? You're not leaving yet, are you? I don't have my apartment back so I know construction isn't complete."

"No," Ian said. He handed the roll of tags to Toshiro. "Someone dropped this and it hit my head. I thought it would be best to hand it over to someone who knows what to do with it. Plus, I wouldn't want to set them off and blow myself up accidentally."

"I can see your concern," Toshiro said with a smirk as he pocketed them. "So have you found any other work? I know Ichise hasn't got his place yet, but there can't be much construction left to do. It'd be a pain to have to find some other civilian that's willing to put up with Ichise and buy us drinks every now and then."

"Hey…" Ichise said, feigning indignation. "I am not the one who drives off unsuspecting victims."

"Haha," Ian snarked. "Laugh it up, but I know you two would miss me for more than the free booze you get."

"Haha," Ichise laughed. "Of course. You're a good guy, Ian. I'd hate to see you go."

"Yeah, well the market was a bust. Akahabe has made it more than clear that he hates my guts and never wants to see me again. I secretly think he doesn't know how to be nice at all and that was his way of saying he'll miss me too. The different shipping companies that run out of here don't have any openings, though they say I might have more luck in the capitol. Everything else is run by ninja here, including the police and the bureaucracy, so I've pretty much run out of options. Unless I can find something, _anything_ , I'm out."

"Damn man, that sucks," Ichise said.

Suddenly a thought entered Ian's head. "Hey, do you know how hard it is to make those?" Ian pointed at Toshiro's bulging pocket. "It can't be that hard, right?"

"I don't think you'll get very far with seal making," Toshiro said. "It takes years to master and you kind of need to have minimal training as a ninja to even perform it."

Ian tilted his head and crossed his arms. "So then how did anyone know how to work seals before there were ninja?"

"I… I don't know," Toshiro said. He glanced at Ichise, but the big man was just as clueless. "Okay, I guess it's worth a shot, but I doubt you'll even get in the front door. There are several seal makers in Konoha, all of whom work under one Seal Master, who supply the ninja with explosive tags. He sells them to us at a discount and they're damn good quality. Thing is, he's a bit of a recluse, so you'll need to go to the Admin Building to request a meeting with him."

"Lots of security for a seal maker, don't you think?" Ian crossed his arms over his chest.

"Of course," Ichise said with a vigorous nod. "If anyone messed with the seal maker, then our exploding notes or sealing scrolls wouldn't work. It would be a breach of security and our ninja would be in a lot of danger. Exploding tags are pretty useful, after all."

"I guess that makes more sense," Ian said, nodding. "So I need to go request a meeting with this seal maker, then. I'll get right on that. Thanks!"

"Good luck," Toshiro called out as Ian walked away.

"Do you think he'll make it?" Ichise quietly asked Toshiro.

"Not a chance."

"Bet fifty Ryo he makes it."

"You're on."

* * *

The old man with one arm handed Ian a rather large and ponderous scroll. He eyed Ian suspiciously before he turned and walked away. Ian held his grumbling in check, just in case the old man had ninja hearing. What kind asshole hands a prospective student a scroll and walks away?

Regardless of Ian's personal feelings on the matter, he toted the scroll back to the public library, which wasn't very thick on reading material. There he set the thing down and opened it. There he ran into his first problem.

"How the hell am I supposed to learn this shit if I can't read the damn language?" he muttered to himself.

"Hello. Do you need assistance?"

Ian looked up to find a young woman looking down at him. He recognized her from the front desk of the library. She must have noticed him pulling on his hair and mumbling to himself.

"My name is Mebuki," she said as he came to a stop next to him. "Can I help you?"

Nodding, Ian pointed down at the scroll and said, "I'm trying to learn sealing, or whatever else I can from this scroll, and I think I'm going to need a dictionary to translate."

"Oh dear," Mebuki said. She was clearly skeptical and expressed her incredulity by asking, "Don't you know how to read kanji?"

"It's been so long that I've forgotten," Ian said, shaking his head. "I've been homeless for a… long time. I can't remember the last time I read anything of importance. Usually I just follow my nose to food and ask others to point me toward a barn or some place to sleep. At least, when I'm around civilization." A light of recognition went on in Mebuki's eyes. She seemed to consider Ian with a small amount of pity now. "I really like it here in Konoha though, but I don't really have any skills to speak of. I asked the Seal Master here in Konoha to give me a chance of being his apprentice, but then he handed me this monstrosity and walked away. I can't even make heads or tails of these characters and it's driving me nuts."

"Hmm…" Mebuki tapped her chin. "I believe I have an idea. How long exactly do you have until you must prove your knowledge?"

"I believe the time limit is four months," Ian said. "But I'm not sure, the people at the Hokage Tower weren't very clear on that matter. And the Seal Master never said a word the whole time."

"Well, my idea was that you could ask for permission to drop in on the academy first years and listen in on the class, but that would take too long and they wouldn't teach you everything you need to know fast enough." Mebuki slumped her shoulders and sighed dramatically. "I guess a dictionary is the only option." As the blond walked away, she muttered, "And here I thought working as a librarian would be easier than being on active duty."

* * *

Ian, once again in that bar, sat scribbling onto the scroll with his much shorter pencil. The bar was rather quiet that night, which might have had something to do with the next shipment of booze coming in on the day after. A bar light on alcohol was a bar with little business.

 _Journal._

 _Thirty-fifth entry._

 _Day two-hundred and seven._

 _Tomorrow's the big day. It took nearly all of the four month grace period to figure it out, but I believe I have the basics worked out. The irony of this situation is that the scroll that old fart gave me was next to useless. That first month I spent translating it was a waste of my time and eventually, Mebuki had to find me a completely different book on the basics of sealing. This whole situation has been just ridiculous._

 _That said, I'm finally ready to explain my secret to sealing that I've developed. It seems that, despite the fact that I can understand what everyone is saying, the written language is closer to that of Asia back home. Lots of characters and different meanings assigned to different strokes, and so on and so forth. It's much more complicated than English, which is the secret to my own sealing technique._

 _It turns out that, for whatever reason, when you write words onto paper with chakra laced ink, the words hold power. Exploding tags, for instance, are based around the simple kanji for "Explode". Around that kanji are instruction as well as 'grooves' through which chakra can travel that determine how and when that "Explode" kanji activates._

 _Well, naturally, I tried to make my own with kanji and it failed. Horribly so. I tried copying an exploding tag that had already been created and in doing so I nearly blew myself up. It didn't help that the scroll the old man gave me went up with that failed tag. If I couldn't understand what the hell I was writing, then I had no hope of ever being able to make seals._

 _I had such a difficult time with this kanji crap that I finally tried writing the thing out in English. At least then I could figure out what I wanted the tag to do before I translated it back into kanji. Really, it was an accident that I discovered that English words hold the same power as their kanji counterparts. I'd mistakenly used the chakra laced ink to write the tag out in English, mostly from my own stupidity. The results were… amazing!_

 _I wrote the word "Explode" in the middle of the tag and then drew a circle around it with the words "not until". I really had to stretch the letters of the limit so that it made a circle around the word explode. Then I drew a line from the 'not until' circle to the words "five seconds after charged with chakra" at the bottom of the tag._

 _At the time, I thought this was a useless practice tag written with regular ink. I was going to use it as a stepping stone to using kanji. It was a few days later, while showing Mebuki my work, that I learned what I'd done. She must have leaned on it or something, because five seconds after we both got up from the table, the table promptly exploded._

 _It was the most awesome ball of fire I've ever seen. It took me a week to figure out which tag had gone off, but when I did, I was so excited that I made ten more of them. Then I asked Mebuki to help me test them. We traveled to a training ground in a wooded area where she attached the tag to a kunai, primed it, and promptly hurled it at a tree._

 _We watched the kunai sail at the tree while internally I was counting to five. When I reached five, the ball of fire that was created snapped the tree in half. I was grinning like an idiot the whole time as Mebuki was congratulating me on a job well done. I don't know what I would have done without that woman helping me. I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. Haruno Mebuki is a freaking angel and the best damn reference librarian I've ever met, bar none. A former ninja to boot, which just makes her a badass bookworm, if nothing else._

 _It has not escaped my attention that the woman helping me is the mother of Haruno Sakura. In fact, when Mebuki asked me to have dinner at her home in celebration of my success with the tags, I met Sakura. She was a little over one year old and, yes, she had really pink short hair. Kizashi, Mebuki's husband, had dark pink hair himself, so it's clear which side of the family the pink came from._

 _Kizashi is still a ninja, though over dinner he proclaimed through a slew of bad, corny, and off color jokes that he wanted to leave active duty so that he could pursue other activities. What those were, he didn't say, but I got the feeling that it wasn't something very productive from the glare that Mebuki gave her husband. Sakura's response at the time, and I quote, was "blablblb". She also drooled._

 _The girl may be nearly a year and a half old, and she sure was a cute baby, but she didn't look anything like the future student of Tsunade. I dunno, maybe it's the drool and the blank expression, but I got the feeling she wasn't all there at the time. You know how some babies have that curios, wide eyed, studying-everything-they-look-at 'look' in their eyes when you study them. Yeah, not Sakura._

 _Other than becoming some kind of friends with the Haruno's, life's not going so bad. It's a good thing I got this… almost apprenticeship? …with the seal maker when I did. When I look back on it, four months ago was about when they finished the construction. Right now, since I was 'in the running' as it were, I was receiving a small stipend from the village itself. Ostensibly, they were making sure I survived long enough for them to evaluate if I had what it took to make seals. Clearly, my success at making the exploding tag is proof that I do have what it takes, even if I don't have any chakra to use myself._

 _If all goes well tomorrow, I can introduce a new type of exploding tag tomorrow. Apparently, kanji has a hard time with what English uses adverbs for. So in order to get a bigger explosion, they have to do some fancy writing where as all I have to write is "Big Explosion" in the center. I already tested one of these awesome new tags and the results blew my socks off._

 _Actually, I don't wear socks anymore. It's the middle of spring and it's already so damn hot out. I thought it was supposed to be relatively mild here based on how the weather was when I arrived. Turns out, that was fall. And winter here in the land of fire, it turns out, doesn't get any worse than the lower seventies during the day and the lower fifties at night. That's winter. Spring, you're going to be uncomfortable. Summer, prepare to sweat to death._

 _So, I suppose, it would be better to say that the "Big Explosion" tag blew my sandals off. All it really did was utterly destroy one tree and create a small crater. Mebuki was speechless for a full minute at the amount of destruction while I was just grinning like an idiot. Such a spectacular success, the new tag. According to Mebuki, these types of tags were marginally more expensive to buy, from her experience, which leads me to believe that the kanji version of the tags must need a lot more work put into them to get the same effect. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to look at one of these big explosion tag kanji versions, so I have no idea what the comparison is._

Ian looked up at the tap on his shoulder to see the bar owner giving him the 'eye'. Ian grinned and immediately started cleaning up. The bar owner, a rather nice fellow by the name of Aeon, was rather considerate most of the time. He just didn't like Ian spending time in his bar without buying anything. Fortunately, Ian had done so before starting on his writing.

* * *

"So, what do you have to show me?" the seal maker said. "And where's my scroll?"

"Uh… hehe, it kind of blew up."

"You fail."

"What?!" Ian ran in front of the one armed old coot to stop him from walking away. "What do you mean I fail? You didn't even find out if I succeeded in making any of the tags."

"If you can't take better care of your resources, it doesn't matter to me," the old man said with a glare. "Now get the hell out of my way. I've got business to deal with." With that the old man shoved past Ian and quickly walked away.

"That… That…" Ian clenched his shaking fist and screamed up into the sky. "That asshole! I'll show him! I'll just outsell him! Then I'll put him in a retirement home where they tell him everyday how old he is and how he shouldn't strain himself by moving too much. Mwahahahahaha!"

Ian noticed he was attracting the attention of a few people passing by him in the street. Thinking nothing of them, Ian spun on his heel and stalked away. Ian quickly found his way to the Hokage Tower, where upon entering, he walked right up to the administration ninja at the front desk.

"I want to see someone about selling explosive tags!" Ian said.

The ninja at the desk blinked twice before he slowly said, "Sir, we already receive explosive tags from our own seal maker here in Konoha. But if you'd like to see if you could work with him, then you'll need to fill out an application and then contact him to see if he's willing to take you on."

"I already tried that," Ian said. "The guy's a grade-A asshole. Wouldn't even let me show him how I could make bigger explosive tags cheaper, just walked off. I personally think he's gone senile. No, I want to see someone about competing with that guy."

The admin ninja just stared at Ian for five seconds before he made a motion with his hand. Two ninja appeared on either side of Ian and grabbed his arms. As they hauled him outside, Ian realized he wouldn't be able to do this in a straight about way. Fortunately, an idea came to him even as he was walking away from the tower.

* * *

"Let me get this straight," Toshiro said. "You want me to get you in to a meeting with the Hokage so you can sell your services as a seal maker?"

Ian nodded happily with a grin. "Yep."

"Oh, I don't know," Toshiro said, tapping his chin in exaggerated thought. "How about, not in this life time?"

"What?" Ian cried out. "Why not? I've bought you tons of booze and I'm offering to give you a lifetime supply of exploding tags! Free tags! That's got to mean something, yeah?"

"Oh, come on Toshiro," Ichise said, ribbing the smaller man with his elbow. "It's not like it would hurt to just introduce him. Besides, Lord Hokage might just be interested."

"I know he'll be interested," Ian said. "I've got Booms, Big Booms, and my special happy tag, the Big Bada Boom. Three different levels of explosions and force, all made with similar amounts of effort so they're all the same price!"

Toshiro snorted. "I'll believe that when I see it. In the mean time, my answer is n-What's that?" The exasperation in Toshiro's voice was evident when Ian pulled out three slips of paper. "What? You brought them here?"

"You said you'd believe it when you see it," Ian said. "So, take these, and go explode a tree, or something. I'll be staying at the shelter one more night. You can tell me when I'm meeting the Hokage in the morning, alright? See ya!"

Before either gate guard could respond, Ian turned and quickly walked away. Ichise smirked as he watched Toshiro guardedly looking down at the three slips of paper with characters that neither of them had ever seen before. With a sad groan, Toshiro pocketed the tags and went back to staring out at the forest.

"You do realize that if the Hokage accepts this, that you owe me-"

"Shut up," Toshiro snapped.

"Hehehe," Ichise snickered. "Twenty thousand Ryo, here I come."

* * *

"Lord Hokage."

Sarutobi Hiruzen looked up from the paperwork he was signing and focused on the young woman who was now his new secretary. He only had a few months of "retirement" before he was saddled with another person waiting on him hand and foot to make sure he got this damnable paperwork completed. If nothing else, he cursed Minato to hell for going off to be heroic while leaving him, an old man, to deal with this curse.

"Yes?"

"Lord Hokage, Yonichi Toshiro is here to see you," said his secretary. She had her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, which in conjunction with the formal clothing, made her look the part of a very pretty and responsible Kage's secretary. "He wasn't in the schedule, but he insisted that he meet with you as soon as possible. Would it be possible for you to see him now before you meeting with your advisors?"

"Of course," Hiruzen said. He went back to signing the paper in front of him. "Send him in."

"Right away, Lord Hokage," she said, with a short bow. Moments later, the brown haired Toshiro walked in. He gave a short bow and then stood tall, waiting for the Hokage to recognize him.

"Toshiro," Hiruzen said. He finished with the paper in front of him before he sat back in his chair and cast a studious look at the chunin in front of him. "What brings you here today? Has there been a development at the southern gate?"

"No, Lord Hokage, nothing like that," Toshiro said. "I'm here because I have a friend who would like to meet with you. He wishes to sell you his services as an explosive seal maker."

"I see," the Hokage said. "Unfortunately, we already have a explosive seal maker who is fairly competent and capable despite his handicap and age. I would be remiss to contract the services of your friend and put a man who's served Konoha faithfully for forty years out of business." The Hokage took in Toshiro's reaction and nodded to himself. "But you knew that already."

"Yes, Lord Hokage."

"So then, you came here in the hopes that you could curry favor for your friend," Hiruzen shook his head. "Unfortunately, I cannot contract just anyone's friend that comes along. Doing so would lead to corruption in the system, which I've worked a long time to keep out of Konoha."

"I understand, Lord Hokage," Toshiro said. "But…"

"But?"

Toshiro swallowed loudly. "I mean… You should see his work for yourself to understand. I didn't believe his claims myself until I actually tested out the work. Having done so, I know without a shadow of a doubt that his explosive tags are not only better, their cheaper. The explosions are larger. The tags themselves are less prone to shorting out and going dud. And also…"

"Also?"

"It must be the new sealing language he's using, because I can't understand how it works. It looks like he's just writing random lines and shapes, but the seals actually work!"

Hiruzen sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but even with your glowing review of your friends work, unless he's vetted by my staff and approved by our current seal maker, then I can't accept him."

"Would it be possible for you to come to a demonstration then?" Toshiro said.

Hiruzen rubbed his forehead. Toshiro was just not giving up. Either this friend had a way with words or the new tags were that impressive. With a dismissive wave of his hand, Hiruzen said, "Talk with Tetis and schedule it for later. I've got another meeting to attend now."

"Of course, Lord Hokage," Toshiro said with a bow. "Thank you."

* * *

"Are you sure he'll be here?"

Toshiro's left eyebrow twitched from his seated position on the ground. Behind him was line of trees and in front of him a clearing, through which Ian was walking back and forth. Toshiro chose to ignore Ian, once again, because he'd asked the same question now at least forty times.

"Damn it," Ian said as he paced forward only to spin around and go back the way he'd come. "He's not here yet. What could have happened? He's old right? Maybe he forgot? Or he had a heart attack or something!"

"I may be old, but I'm not dying," said the Third Hokage as he landed on the ground in the clearing. Ian turned to the Old Hokage, who was now wearing his hat and robe, regalia of office. The young man grinned at the old man.

"Oh good," Ian said. "I was worried you wouldn't make it."

"You must be Toshiro's friend," Hiruzen said with a nod. "It's a pleasure to meet you. From Toshiro's words, I am under the impression that you are some kind of sealing wizard."

Ian glanced over at Toshiro, who looked right back. Finding no answer there, Ian turned back to the Hokage and shrugged. "I don't know about that, but I do know I can create explosive tags that pack ten times the power as a normal tag does now, at the same cost of production."

"I find that hard to believe," Hiruzen said. "The sealing arts can improve the explosive yield of a standard explosive tag, true. But to increase it to such a degree would require nearly as much time crafting the seal itself, to contain the power and make sure it doesn't accidentally go off."

"That would be where my own brand of sealing comes into play," Ian said. "But first, I would be foolish not to introduce myself. My name is Ian. Before you ask, I don't have a family name. I want to thank you for this opportunity."

Hiruzen nodded and walked forward. There were several shifts in the trees that sounded like the wind blowing and rustling the leaves. With a genial smile, the Hokage held his hand out and Ian shook it. "It's nice to meet you, Ian, as you no doubt have deduced by now, I'm the Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen. Now let's see about these tags. I have a hot meal waiting for me and I'd like to get to it as soon as possible."

"Of course," Ian said with a grin. He pulled out three slips of paper and handed them to the Hokage. "These are the three variants of explosive notes I've developed. I was tasked by that old coot to use some scroll he gave me to learn to make explosive notes using kanji. Unfortunately, I couldn't work with kanji, so I made my own sealing language up. It works much better."

"You made up your own language?" Hiruzen asked incredulously as he inspected each of the seals. He couldn't make heads of tails of the marks on the slips of paper, but he did recognize the general ordering of symbols and lines. Each appeared to be the same kind of explosive note, though each one had something extra added to the core seal. "I assume that the difference in the core of each seal is what differentiates the yield size?"

"That would be correct," Ian said with a happy smile. "If you want to do the honors, you can see for yourself."

"Mmm," Hiruzen hummed in agreement. He selected the tag with the least amount of writing in the core and charged the paper with chakra. The paper immediately straightened to the point that it could be used as a kunai itself. "It has the standard five second delay, correct?"

"So far, that's all I've managed to perfect," Ian said. "Countdown will begin as soon as you cut your chakra off."

Hiruzen nodded and flicked his wrist. The tag sailed through the air with a sharp whistle and embedded itself into the ground with enough force to dig halfway into the ground. Five seconds after release, the tag exploded, sending chunks of the ground into the air. It was comparable to the explosive yield of the standard tags they currently used, which was acceptable. Hiruzen nodded and pulled the second biggest core seal to throw.

"That's about five times as powerful as the one you just threw," Ian said as the Hokage charged the slip of paper and flicked his wrist, this time sending the tag farther away. The explosion that followed created a crater a meter deep and created a sharp gust of wind. The Hokage studied the affect with interest and nodded.

"You were right, Toshiro," Hiruzen said. "It's hard to believe without seeing first." The Hokage took the last tag and charged it with chakra. He was about to throw it when he noticed Ian quickly walking back to the tree line and hiding behind one of the trees. Toshiro wasn't far behind.

"Lord Hokage, the Big Bada Boom is… big," Toshiro said. "If you don't wish to find cover, then I suggest rooting yourself to the ground before you set it off. From experience."

"I'll keep that in mind," Hiruzen said with a wry smirk. It couldn't be that bad. With a flick of his wrist the third tag went sailing into the clearing. Five seconds passed and then…

* * *

Ian stood, his head lowered toward the ground, next to Toshiro, who also stood with his head down. Before them, behind the Hokage's desk, sat Hiruzen with bandages covering almost his entire body. Everything except his face, which was grim as death.

"I'll have you know that if the doctors in Konoha weren't the best physicians in the world, then I would be dead," Hiruzen said, his voice hard as stone, biting as a razor blade. "Frankly, the potential of this new sealing method is as frightening as it is intriguing. That such an explosive tag could be created from such simple markings boggles the mind, but only goes on to prove the point that the sealing arts are not static, let alone fully explored. However, explosive tags are not the only thing that can be created with the sealing arts, and as such I believe your talents would go to waste if you were to restrict your efforts. Therefore, I'm not going to contract you, Ian, as a seal maker for explosive tags. Instead, I'm going to grant you a civilian position in the Konoha Sealing Corps."

"I… Wait." Ian looked up at the Hokage and blinked as he tried to take in everything that the old man had just said. "So… just like that? I nearly get you killed and you can… not hold it against me and let me stay in Konoha just like that?"

"Believe me," Hiruzen said evenly, his voice gravely. "If you showed any less talent at sealing than you do, I would have kicked you out. Your efforts to improve the explosive tag were simplistic in design, but dangerously unrestrained. By your own admission, you only started studying the art of sealing four months ago. Anyone, let alone a civilian, who could, in such a short time, not only develop their own sealing language, simplify a known seal design, and strengthen a basic explosive tag to such a degree without over burdening the seal itself, is worth holding onto. No, beyond that."

"I uh…" Ian coughed into his hand and straightened a little. "Thank you."

"That doesn't mean I'm letting you off the hook," Hiruzen said. "This contract with the Sealing Corps is non-negotiable. You will serve with the corpse for a minimum of three years. You will learn how to control your seals and further develop your new language. After that time, you will not only be developing safer exploding tags for Konoha shinobi at a discount for the next ten years, you will also forfeit the rights to any new seals you produce in that time to Konoha. Breaking this contract is ground for incarceration or marking for assassination."

Ian coughed. Made a small choking sound. Then struggled to get out the words, "Th-thank you… Lord… Hokage."

Hiruzen smiled. How he loved his job sometimes. He turned his attention to the chunin standing next to Ian. "Toshiro, I'm assigning you a month long D-rank mission that will run whenever you are in the village. The mission is to assist Ian here in assimilating into the village. He'll be staying here for quite a while now."

"Of course, Lord Hokage," Toshiro said quickly. The relief that he wasn't being punished as severely for nearly getting the Hokage killed was evident in his voice.

"Also," Hiruzen said slowly, enjoying the way Toshiro shivered and cringed of his shoulders at the drawn out syllables. Wow, he was in a sadistic mood today. It might have something to do with an explosion so large it blew him, and the ground his feet were stuck on, into the forest and through several trees. "After that mission is complete, I'm making you the go to man for testing any new seals that Ian here comes up with."

Toshiro whimpered, but remained silent. The Hokage smiled. His work was done here. "Very well, you're both dismissed. And congratulations on becoming an official citizen of Konoha, Ian."

Ian quickly went from contrite to grinning like a loon. For a moment, a split second in time, Hiruzen wondered if he'd just made the biggest mistake of his entire life. Bigger than letting Orochimaru get away, even. But that moment passed when Ian gave the Hokage a thumbs-up and left the office.

* * *

"You must be Ian," said a young woman with her pale purple hair curled up into a bun on her head, kept there by some sort of set up involving her Leaf Forehead Protector. She glanced up from the folder in her hands and cast her green eyes at the brown haired man in front of her. "My name is Tamasake Michiko."

Ian blinked a couple times before he did his best to smile. "My name is Mich-Ian. Sorry. Wait. You already know that. I- uh…"

Michiko watched Ian splutter for several more seconds before a small smirk grew on the corner of her lips. Reaching out she placed a hand on Ian's shoulder and waited for him to calm down as she stared into his eyes. When he finally was calm, she smiled.

"See, that wasn't too hard, was it?"

"I… don't know what you're… talking about," Ian haltingly said, straining very hard to keep his composure.

Michiko didn't stop smiling as she turned and motioned for Ian to follow her. She led him back out of the Hokage Tower, where they'd met up, and started down the road toward the Hokage Mountain. It wasn't that long of a trip, since the mountain was almost directly adjacent to the tower.

Once they arrived, she led Ian through a door set into the rock at the base the mountain. Inside the door was a long hallway cut into the rock with electric lights over head. As they continued down the corridor deeper into the earth, Michiko cleared her throat.

"I hear the only reason you weren't executed for what you did is because you impressed Lord Hokage with your little demonstration," she said glancing back over her shoulders. This time, Ian could do nothing to stop his face from turning red as he pressed his lips together. When she noticed this, Michiko giggled. "You must have really pissed him off to get sent to the Sealing Corps. Even for a civilian, this is pretty much a dead end. I feel sorry for you, almost."

"Uh… I… Thanks? I think?" The two fell into an easy silence as they continued to walk down the hallway. "So, uh… are you my bo- I mean, are you in this… Sealing Corps too?"

"Oh, no, sorry," Michiko said. "I'm just an admin who runs around the village, delivering reports, processing paper work, and so on." She laughed lightly, though Ian detected a very slight undercurrent of bitterness. "I'm not that important when it comes to the big pictures. You'll probably only see me again if we run into each other when I'm picking up or delivering a report to the Sealing Corps."

"I see…" Ian said. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That's too bad, then."

"What was that?" Michiko asked.

"Oh, uh… nothing," Ian said quickly.

The two eventually reached the end of the long hallway and found only one door there. Michiko didn't hesitate to open the door and enter the next chamber with Ian close behind. He paused as Michiko moved off to the side to converse with the blond secretary behind the desk there. While he waited, he studied the room, which wasn't that much more than a large room with several rows of chairs, much like one would find in a waiting room at a doctor's office. At the far end of the room was a closed door with a small pad mounted on the wall next to it.

"Ian?" Ian turned to Michiko. She gave a slight bow and smiled at him. "I hope you have a pleasant stay here. Maybe we'll see each other again."

"Oh, sure, yeah," Ian said. "I'd like that."

Michiko smiled at him as she turned and left. This left Ian alone in the waiting room with the secretary, who was ignoring him easily enough. Ian spun around once on the spot, and then froze as he noticed the high window on the wall. He could see through the wall, which was only about a foot thick, to the outside.

"How in the hell?" Ian muttered. "It nearly took a whole five minutes to walk through that hallway!"

The door on the other side of the room opened at that moment. Ian turned around and was confronted by a elderly gentleman with graying hair, a small beard, and a leaf forehead protector. The man's piercing stone cold blue eyes studied Ian for several seconds before he motioned toward Ian to follow. As soon as Ian entered the next room, the door closed by itself.

"This is the Seal Corps R&D laboratory," the old man explained. They both stood on a long catwalk that ran above a very spacious cavern that had been carved out of the bedrock. Below them were several sections that were walled off by large, thick walls made of solid rock. In each section were several devices or arrays, likely being tested, but the whole place wasn't teeming with scientists. In fact, after counting, Ian only found five, besides the old man and himself. "My name is Tanaka Hataka. Yes, I know it sound funny, and yes, I've punished my parents thoroughly. I'm the Seal Corps Chief of Operations, chunin rank, and I report directly to the Hokage. Any requests he makes come through me and any issues you have go through me. Got that?"

"Yeah, sure," Ian said distracted as he continually looked over the side of the railing to down below.

"Normally, civilians aren't allowed in here," Hataka said testily, "however an exception was made in your case due to your… aptitude. I've asked our best seal adept, Senan Chihiro, to assist you in developing your talents as fast as possible. Please appreciate the fact that this is taking time away from her own, very important projects."

Attention drawn back to Hataka by the man's patronizing tone of voice. With narrowed eyes, Ian remained silent as the two of them reached the end of the walkway and descended down the stairs cut into the wall there. Once they reached the bottom, Hataka motioned for Ian to stop while he walked off into the huge room and disappeared behind one of the huge, couple story tall stone walls.

Moments later a disgruntled looking woman, who couldn't have been older than her mid twenties, walked out from the same place that Hataka walked in. Her eyes were half lidded and it was clear from her slouch and the scowl on her soft looking pink lips she was irritated. The irritation was made all the clearer by how she had her fists clenched.

Despite these clear warning signs, Ian only noticed three things about the woman. Her eyes were the purest sapphire he'd ever seen. Her long hair was a bright, attention attracting pink, though not as bright as Sakura nor as dark as Kazashi. And finally, she was blessed with the largest pair of 'girls' Ian had ever laid eyes on. These girls, despite being held in check by a rather tight looking body suit, were more than obvious.

The woman stopped in front of Ian and let out a disgusted grunt. "Men, I swear. You're all pigs!"

Ian, realizing his situation, quickly looked up into the stormy blue eyes glaring daggers at him. A sheepish grin spread across his face as he coughed in a failed attempt to cover for his actions. The woman was having none of it, though.

"You?!" she shouted. "You are the one who almost got Lord Hokage blown up?! YOU!"

"I… take it that you're, Chihiro," Ian said, forcing himself to focus on her face.

"Hmph," Chihiro snorted contemptuously. "If there's one thing I hate more than anything else in this world, it's _perverts_! Let's get one thing straight, Mr. Hokage-killer! I don't like you! The _only_ reason that I'm even lowering myself to help a civilian, let alone a perverted civilian pig like _you_ is because I was ordered to, by the Hokage himself! Got that?!"

Ian blinked once. Twice. Then said, "Did you know your eyes light up really pretty when you express your anger?"

Chihiro took a step back, as if struck. Her shock turned into anger and her fist curled up just as fast. Before Ian knew what hit him, her fist was buried in his face.

* * *

A/N: Wow… when I wrote this chapter, from what I can remember, I just kept going, and going, and going. Over eleven thousand words! The inspiration behind this character was someone who couldn't be a shinobi, literally, but was still able to affect the world at large, because one, he knew a future, and two, he had Fuinjutsu.

Let me know what you guys think of this idea in a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	16. Trapped 2

**Naruto: Trapped**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

~ Chapter Two ~

 _The Genin Test_

"Good afternoon," Ian called to the three Genin.

"You're late!" Sakura and Naruto shouted at him. Sasuke sneered and turned his nose up. Ian grinned and waved their anger off. He put the sack he was carrying down and took in the three.

"Not late," Ian said. "Sometimes, during a mission, you'll have to observe a target or wait for a target without any opportunity to eat or sleep without break for days."

Naruto's eyes lit up. "Oh," he shouted while he hopped up and down. "So this was the test? You were testing our ability to starve ourselves and get the mission done. Ha! Well consider his mission complete!"

Ian stayed silent as he watched the three Genin in front of him. Sakura and Naruto both looked at him with what appeared to be hope. Futile hope that the test was over and they could eat. Sasuke was glaring at him, but even he appeared to be waiting for Ian to respond.

"Not quite," Ian said. "That was just the first part of the test. Now it is time for the second." Ian pulled an alarm clock out of the bag he brought and set it on the ground. He set the timer for one hour and then activated the device. "You each have one hour to get these bells from me," he said as he held up two bells for the kids to see. "Those without a bell at the end of the hour get tied to a tree where you will watch me eat lunch in front of you."

Ian smiled as the three Genin looked at each other. One of their stomachs growled loud enough to make an echo in the empty clearing. He jingled the bells as he tied them to the belt around his waist.

"Additionally, because there are only two bells, at least one of you will end up tied to a tree." Ian crossed his arms as he watched two of the three Genin in front of him look like they wanted to run back to the academy. Sasuke clenched his fists and glared. "And the one who doesn't get a bell will fail and be sent back to the academy."

Naruto's face twisted up in annoyance as the nervousness fled him, or perhaps was repressed. Sakura looked to Sasuke and then dipped her head, but she was still visibly shaking. Sasuke continued to glare.

"If you want," Ian said, "you can use shuriken or kunai. In fact, you probably should. You won't succeed unless you come at me with the intent to kill or die trying."

"But!" Sakura's head shot up and she said, "You'll be in danger! And we could die!"

Sasuke snorted, but remained silent. Naruto crossed his arms and grimaced in an attempt to intimidate the Jounin. Ian rolled his eyes and said, "You do realize that being a ninja means you'll be in life or death situations for the majority of the time, right?"

"Ah, um…" Sakura stuttered. "I… yes, yes I do. I just didn't…"

"Don't worry, Sakura," Naruto shouted and pounded his chest. "I'll protect you and we'll beat this guy into next Tuesday."

Before Sakura could respond, Ian said, "Yes, listen to the dead last. He'll protect you."

Naruto's eyes screwed open at the sideways insult. Before either Sasuke or Sakura realized what he was doing, Naruto had a kunai in his hand and was about to push himself into a headlong rush at Ian. And then Ian was behind Naruto. He held Naruto's hand at the blonde's throat where the kunai the boy had pulled to attack was pressing into the skin.

"Now now," Ian said. "Don't let the enemy get into your head like that. You could lose more than your pride."

Sakura and Naruto were both wide eyed in shock. Sasuke changed his glare into a piercing glare with a smirk. Apparently, he was pleased with what he saw.

"At least now you're ready to attack with the intent to kill," Ian said. "I'll be standing over there. You have one hour. Good luck."

Ian let go of Naruto's hand and vanished before the boy could react. He then re-appeared several yards away in the middle of an open clearing. The three Genin glanced at each other before they jumped.

Sakura leaped into the bushes where she tried to hide herself as best she could. Sasuke leaped into a tree and attempted to blend into the shade with the dark colored clothing he had on. Naruto jumped up and somersaulted only to land directly in front of Ian.

"You, fight me, now!" Naruto demanded.

Ian's shoulders slumped. "Man, Kakashi said this was the part where you all ran off for cover. What's wrong with you?"

"Me?! Nothing's wrong with me!" Naruto shouted as he dashed forward with his fist cocked back. "The only thing wrong here is your hair cut."

"Hmph, is that the best you can come up with?" Ian asked as he casually, almost lazily, dodged Naruto's punch and responded with a kick to Naruto's abdomen. The air in Naruto's lungs audibly rushed out. "Laugh it up, blondie," Ian said to the doubled over Naruto. "At least mine doesn't look like I stuck my head into a lawnmower."

"Why… you," Naruto spat between gasps for breath. He grit his teeth and pushed himself up. "I won't be… defeated… by you!" Faster than he'd ever pushed himself before, Naruto lashed out with a kick and immediately tried to follow up with a punch to Ian's face. Ian blocked Naruto's kick with the back of one hand and then grabbed Naruto's wrist with the other. With a strong grip, Ian threw Naruto up into the air and just as he was about to land, Ian buried his fist into Naruto's gut. This time Naruto passed out before he hit the ground.

"I suppose you _will_ be defeated by me," Ian said as he pulled a rope out and began to tie Naruto up. Once Naruto had no way of escaping the tree Ian had tied him to, the Jounin turned and faced the tree where Sasuke had hidden. Sasuke's eyes widened slightly and he leaped from the branch. He leaped from one branch to another as silently as a whisper of wind until he was on the other side of the clearing.

When Sasuke looked out into the clearing, he saw that Ian was still standing in the same spot looking in the same direction, now away from Sasuke's position. The boy smirked and pulled a wire. Dozens of shuriken and kunai burst from the tree that he'd been standing in, launched directly for Ian.

Ian didn't even move and took the full brunt of the attack in the head and chest. Sasuke pushed chakra into his leg muscles and jumped high into the air. His hands were already going through the hand seals for his most prized jutsu as he reached the point right above Ian's weapon riddled body.

"Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu!"

Sasuke lifted his head back and, with a deep breath, spat out a fire ball the size of a house down toward the earth. The ball of flame lit up the clearing with heat intense enough to flash fry the grass closest to the epicenter of the attack and light the trees aflame. Sasuke flipped as he began to fall back to the ground and landed lightly on his feet on the far side of the crater he'd just created.

Taking deep lungfuls of air to combat the sudden onset of fatigue, Sasuke turned to inspect the charred body of Ian. He quickly noticed something was wrong. Instead of the blackened body of one former Jounin of Konoha, there was a smoldering pile of white stuff too small to have come from a body. Sasuke frowned as he tried to see where he'd gone wrong.

"I suspect it must have been the part where you took your eyes off of me to tree hop around to my defenseless back," Ian said from beside Sasuke. Sasuke repressed the urge to jump from his shock and immediately snatched a kunai into his hand from his side pocket. "Not so easily intimidated, I see. Still, if all you can do is blast burn a sack of flour, then I don't think I have much to fear from you."

"I'm not like those other two," Sasuke said. "I'm going to win this. I _will_ get that bell."

"Then come and take it," Ian said. He turned to Sasuke and shifted his weight as he watched the Genin jump back and attempt to use the Grand Fireball again. "That's not going to wooork~" Ian sang.

Sasuke ignored Ian, shouted "Fire Release: Great Fireball Jutsu!" and breathed in. As soon as he breathed in his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted. Ian shook his head and walked up to the unconscious boy.

"Sasuke!" Sakura shouted as she dashed from the bushes right next to Naruto, who was just now coming to, and toward the unconscious Sasuke. When she got to him, she hovered over him and wringed her hands as she fretted over his non-conscious state. "Oh, no, Sasuke! What's wrong? What did he do to you? Wake up!"

"He just used too much chakra, that's all," Ian said from behind Sakura. She stiffened and looked over her shoulder at the Jounin. "He'll wake up in a ten or so minutes, but he'll be completely exhausted for a couple of hours until his chakra builds up again. The Great Fireball isn't something a Genin usually has the reserves to do, much less one so large. That he could manage to do so much speaks well of his desire to win… not that it helped him much this time. But, there's always next year."

"So… we lose…" Sakura said. She looked at the ground and sniffled lightly. Ian rolled his eyes.

"No, you still have about twenty minutes left," Ian said. "There's still time for _you_ to try and get a bell… though from what I've seen, I highly doubt you'll succeed any better than these two _on your own_."

"Datebayo!" Naruto shouted as he jumped onto Ian from behind. Then five more Narutos jumped onto him. "Thought you could beat me, didn't ya?! Well too bad for you, I'm the king of getting out of being tied up _and_ pranks!"

A seventh Naruto appeared in a puff of smoke and searched Ian's waist for the bells. "Hey, what gives! Where are the bells?!"

"You mean these bells?" Ian asked from behind the seventh Naruto. He held up a hand and jingled them in the clone's face. All the clones and the original Naruto, who was now alone at the bottom of the dog pile, cried out in anger as they tried to scramble at Ian. Ian just laughed as he dispelled the clone in front of him and then hopped back to watch the other clones and the original Naruto fight to get back to their feet.

Sakura watched all this from her seat on the ground. Sasuke blinked as he woke up to the sounds of loud popping noises, sobbing, and a chuckle he was beginning to despise with a cold burning hatred. He sat up and saw Naruto once again being tied to a tree, only this time he was kicking and screaming as it happened, but was nonetheless unable to stop the act. Sakura sat next to him, sobbing into her hands.

Sasuke grunted and pushed himself to his feet. He took a few steps forward before he the world tilted sideways and he fell over. Sakura gasped as he pushed himself back up once again.

"Sasuke!" Sakura shouted with a note of happiness. "You're alright!"

Sasuke sneered as he got back to his feet and started toward Ian again. The world was waving back and forth, but he refused to stop. He kept going until his leg just didn't fall correctly and he fell once again. Sakura rushed to his side and tried to help him stand, but he roughly shoved her away so that she fell onto the ground herself.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted at the hapless girl. "I don't need your help!" He pushed himself back to his feet and started walking again, only to fall again. Ian watched impassively from his spot next to Naruto, who was shouting obscenity that could turn any grandmother's hair a paler shade of white.

"Sasuke," Sakura croaked, fresh tears in her eyes. "Why… why don't you just give up! You can't even stand! You can't win!" Sasuke stopped, still wobbling on his feet, but turned to glare at Sakura. She caught her breath at the spiteful glare directed at her.

"I will never give up," he snarled. "Not for you! Not for him! Never! I will grow strong! I will defeat _that_ man! And until I do, I won't let anything get in my way."

"Sasuke…" Sakura breathed as Sasuke turned and started toward Ian again. Then a sound filled the clearing. It was high pitched, making it easily recognizable as the ringing of an alarm bell.

"Stop," Ian said, holding a hand up. "The test is over. I've got good news. You three won't be going back to the Academy."

Naruto immediately stopped trying to get free. A giant grin split his face as he shouted with joy. "We passed! Awesome! I'm finally a ninja! I did it!" Sasuke never lost his glare, but as he fell to the ground a grin was on his face. Sakura looked back and forth between Ian and Sasuke.

"Yes," Ian said. "You three failed this test so badly that you won't be sent back to the Academy at all, but will be sent back to civilian life."

Naruto's gleeful cheers vanished as quickly as they appeared. In their place was a wide-eyed gawking punctuated by a sobbing choke ever few seconds. Sakura simply hung her head and let her long hair cover her face. Sasuke glared at Ian, as if such an act would cause the man to flinch and bow down to the boy's wishes.

"Clearly, you three aren't cut out for being ninja," Ian said. "Just what do you think ninja are? Do you really think we all run around like chickens with our heads cut off, screaming after our obsession, picking fights randomly, and focusing so hard on one target that you can be completely over taken by a civilian if they were in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

Ian had his hands on his hips as he glared down at the three genin. Sasuke snarled, gripped his kunai tighter and jumped at Ian. Ian sniffed derisively and grabbed Sasuke's outstretched arm, twisted the boy around, and pinned Sasuke's arms behind his back as far as they would bend. He then pushed farther, eliciting a gasp of pain from the boy.

"Sakrua, if you want Sasuke to survive this, you will kill Naruto," Ian said, deathly serious.

"Wh-what!" Naruto shouted. Sakura gasped. "You can't mean that, sensei!" Naruto shouted.

Ian shook his head. "Of course not, but life as a ninja means you will run into situations like this, especially when you get careless. On top of that, the three of you failed to divine the true nature of this test. I really don't see why you should become Genin at all, if this is the depth of your ability."

"The true nature…" Naruto said.

"Of this test?" Sakura finished. Ian released Sasuke and stepped back. Sasuke stumbled forward a step before he caught himself and turned slowly around while he rubbed his shoulder.

"Yes," Ian said. "It's a ninja's job to see underneath the underneath. To read between the lines. Do you three honestly believe that Genin would be tested in a battle of strength against a Jounin? Individually, none of you are a match for a Jounin, and we know that."

"Then what the hell is the purpose of this test?" Naruto shouted. Ian shook his head.

"Why don't you try seeing underneath the underneath and figure it out for yourselves," Ian said. "I've already given you three the clues. Even for genin, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out. Naruto, what do you think it is?"

"How the hell should I know?" Naruto shouted from the tree. "You told us to get the bells. But there's only two of them so one of us is going back for sure. If we're not supposed to be able to fight you then how the hell are we supposed to get the bells. This test is rigged!"

"No," Ian said, "wrong answer. I can see your hopes of becoming Hokage diminishing." Naruto ground his teeth together and growled. "Sasuke, how about you? Does the famous Uchiha clan have the ability to figure this simple test out?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "It's a test of our ability to read between the lines and figure out the true nature of a mission. This mission was to get the two bells, but there are three of us. One of us will be going back to the academy if two of us could get the bells. This mission was designed to make us choose who to sacrifice on an impossible mission."

"Not so much," Ian said. Sasuke grimaced and glared. "Sakura, how about you?"

"Uhm…" Sakura looked back and forth between Ian and Sasuke. "To… to show… to show how well we can work as a team?" she asked, hesitantly.

Ian tilted his head. "Curious, how the weakest member of your group is the one to get the right answer." Sasuke and Naruto both looked at Sakura. "Yes… Fascinating. Care to explain your reasoning?"

"Um… well. You said that our goal was to get the two bells, but because there's only two of them, one of us will be going back to the academy. Additionally, you made us skip breakfast so that we'd be hungry enough to simulate a real world mission. All of these things seemed designed to drive us apart and thwart teamwork, which is what the true test is. The fact that you knew that we couldn't defeat you individually and that it should have been obvious only supports that maybe, if we all worked together, then we might have had a chance to get the bells."

"But… But what about there only being two bells?" Naruto asked. "He said one of us would be going back to the academy if we didn't get a bell!"

"Idiot," Sasuke snorted. His shoulder seemed to be sagging as the truth of the test became clear to him. "That was a trick to get us to fight with each other instead of work together."

"Don't call me an idiot, Bastard!"

"I think that illustrates Sakura's point well enough," Ian said. Sasuke was still grimacing, but now he was looking at the ground. Sakura was solemn as she too studied the ground. Naruto was wiggling fiercely as he tried to break free. "Well, here's how this is going to work. Since you've figured it out, I'll give you guys another chance to get the bells after lunch. You two can eat, but Naruto gets none."

"What?!" Naruto shouted, "why not!? I'm just as hungry as those two!"

"Because you're attached to that tree and because I said that whoever was attached to the tree, didn't get lunch. I'll give you two a half hour to eat and then I'll untie Naruto and let you go at it again. Do _not_ feed Naruto!" Ian rounded on Naruto and glared at him. "You will starve because I said so, and since I make the rules, you will do as I say, got it?! Anyone who feeds him will automatically fail as well." Ian's expression instantly shifted into a happy-go-lucky grin. "See ya!" he said before popping into a cloud of smoke.

Naruto gulped loudly and made an indifferent face. "Eh, don't worry about me," he said as Sasuke and Sakura opened the boxed lunches they brought. "I'm not really that hungry anyway."

Seconds later, Naruto's stomach was singing an operetta that was loud enough to be heard across the clearing where Ian sat in a tree. He shook his head as he listened to the creshendo of growls and gurbles. Sasuke glanced up at Naruto, noted the boy's unnaturally downcast expression, and then back down at his food.

Sasuke sighed and held his box out toward Naruto. "Here," he said.

Sakura glanced over and then looked back down at her food. Then her head whipped back and her eyes bugged out as she started to choke on the food she was chewing. She coughed twice and then gasped out, "Sasuke! Sensei just said-"

"Don't worry," Sasuke said. "I don't sense his chakra near here. After lunch, we'll work together and get the bells." Sakura and Naruto both stared at Sasuke with wide open eyes. Naruto was about to protest when Sasuke growled and said, "Look, if you don't eat, you'll just be in the way and hurt the team."

Sakura looked back at her own meal in silent thought. Naruto was again about to protest when suddenly Sakura had shoved her food in front of him as well. "Sakura!" the blond said, surprise written all over his face.

"Naruto, you need your strength too," she said. "This is about teamwork right? What kind of team would we have if you can't keep up?"

"You guys," Naruto said. He hung his head as he opened his mouth and let Sasuke and Sakura stuff bits of food insides. Tears ran down his cheeks as he chewed and swallowed loudly.

They were all caught off guard at the sudden explosion behind them. Standing in the clearing was a tall, lanky man with silver hair. He had his forehead protector covering one eye and he was leaning in real close to them to look at them with his one good eye.

"Do you three realize what you have done?!" he asked in a deep and creepy disturbing voice.

"Who the heck are you?!" Naruto shouted. "And waddya mean do we realize-Of course we do! We're breaking the rules to keep the team together!"

"Kakashi," Ian said as he appeared behind the silver-haired man. "Why did you go and ruin the surprise? And you're late, too. Like always."

"Oh… sorry," Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head while smiling with his only visible eye. "There was this old woman and… well you know. Anyway, this part of the test was always my favorite. Did they really break the rules?"

"Yes," Ian said looking over the three now very confused genin. "They passed."

"We what?!" Sakura and Naruto shouted at the same time. Sasuke's eyes widened, but then he shook his head and smirked with the satisfied grin of a predator that's caught his prey.

"Oh goodie," Kakashi said, "they passed. I suppose that means they're mine now?"

"No," Ian said slowly. His fists clenched slightly but he remained calm otherwise. "They're mine. Remember the Hokage's orders?"

"Maa, maa." Kakashi said, holding his hands in the air. He then loudly slapped Ian on the back. "Don't get all riled up. I'm just teasing. Now, did you tell them the moral of the story?"

"Eh," Ian said. He shrugged and the tension in him before left completely. "Why don't you, it's your saying."

"Right," Kakashi said. He turned to the three Genin and said, "The lesson of this training is not just teamwork," Kakashi said. "It's to get it through your cute little skulls that there are ninja out there who break the rules, and they are bad, trash even. But the ninja who abandon their comrades are lower than trash. Remember that in the future."

"Other than that, you guys are free to go," Ian said. "Meet tomorrow bright and early at seven AM in front of the Hokage Tower for your first mission as Team Seven."

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted. He tried to jump or do something, but he was still well tied to the tree. That didn't stop him from crowing futher. "We did it! We're ninja!"

"Okay, you guys, let's go," Ian said. Sasuke shook his head and stood.

"Hell yeah!" Sakura shouted as she joined Sasuke, blushing as she followed after him. Ian and Kakashi watched this and rolled their eyes before following. Naruto watched all this happen silently until they were gone.

"Oh, come on!" Naruto shouted at the evening sky of reds and oranges. "Really? You guys all suck!"

* * *

A/N: Trapped 2, delivered to you in High Definition! Notice all of the sharp lines and none of the blurriness! Also, a review box! Type stuff/praise/thoughts into it and hit send today!

~I.K.A. Valian


	17. Invisible 2

**Invisible**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

Disclaimer: I claim no right of ownership to the copyrighted material contained herein.

* * *

Chapter Two: _Radical Departure_

* * *

 _Two Years Later…_

Sasuke awoke with a start as an enormous explosion rocked the house. Rapidly looking left and then right for the source of the insanely loud noise, his eyes caught on bright lights coming from outside his window. Quickly hopping out of his bed, Sasuke ran up to the window and what he saw outside made his blood run cold.

As far as he could see across the Uchiha compound in the pitch blackness of night, Sasuke saw ninjas fighting. And not just any ninjas, but Uchiha were fighting other Uchiha. None of it made any sense to him, since the day before everything seemed normal to him. The only thing of note was that he'd finally managed to get the Giant Fireball technique to work, if only partially.

"Ahh!" Sasuke screamed as one of the ninja fighting just outside his window was blasted by a fireball larger than the house itself straight at him. Sasuke lifted his trembling hands up and from covering his head to stare with wide open eyes at the new hole in the wall where his head had just been. There was a dead body laid prone on the floor just next to him now as well.

The sounds outside were much clearer now, people were screaming and shouting. Crying out the names of their jutsu and grunting as they let their fists and feet fly. Sasuke took a shaky step back, and then another, until his back was to the wall on the opposite side of his room. The whole time he continue to stare out of the hole in his wall at the people, his clan, fighting savagely to kill each other.

"I…" he stuttered, unable to look away as one of his clansmen jammed a kunai into another clansman's gut. "I… I don't know what to do. I… Father! He'll know what to do! I have to find father!"

Without looking back, Sasuke dashed from his room and out into the hall way. Considering the magnitude of the battle taking place outside, it was a strange juxtaposition to find the house completely empty and dark and silent, aside from the muffled noises from outside. The clap-clap-clap of his bare feet against the wooden floor filled Sasuke's ears as he dashed to the front of the house.

With his heart pumping, Sasuke quickly stuck his feet into his sandals and pulled open the front door just as a blast of fire filled the air. Momentarily blinded and shocked, Sasuke felt his body's natural instincts take over and he bolted into the unknown. Then he could see again and he was already running down the street away from his house, which was now engulfed in flames with two men dancing a deadly dance through the burning building.

Sasuke ran. He ran as hard and as fast as he ever had in his entire life. Everywhere he looked, he saw a battle taking place between his clansmen. Fireballs that were the inheritance of the Uchiha, to be used on enemies alone, were being blasted freely back and forth. The Uchiha compound had been turned into a war zone.

The closer Sasuke got to the entrance of the compound that connected to the rest of the village, the more dead bodies he ran across. The kind elderly woman, who he'd been told was his distant aunts, who was always sneaking him sweets to take to the academy, lay dead in the street with her husband's body draped over her to vainly protect her from a volley of deadly kunai, which still littered the road around the two. He saw a couple of his cousins, dead and missing limbs. And then he found them, his family.

Sasuke ran up to the scene of his father and brother facing each other in front of the compound entrance with kunai in their hands. His mother was crumpled in a heap off to the side. Just outside of the compound entrance, a few civilians were watching, the look on their faces making it clear they weren't sure what they were seeing.

'What madness would cause Itachi to fight father,' Sasuke thought, 'especially while mother is… while mother is…

"Mother!" Sasuke shouted as soon as he saw the expanding red blot underneath her. He'd just passed many bodies with similar blots underneath them. Sasuke stumbled several times in his race to his fallen mother's side, but he eventually made it there while blocking out whatever shouting match his father and brother were having as they traded blows.

"Mother," Sasuke cried as he kneeled at her side. He tried shaking her by the shoulders, pinching her on her arm, and even shouting louder. But nothing he did could make her move, or look at him. Tears streaked down his dirty face when the words his brother were speaking finally broke through to him.

"Sasuke!" Itachi shouted as he parried an attack from their father. "Run! Run away!"

"You traitorous dog," their father shouted as he renewed his attack. Both of their Sharingan were activated, swirling around as they fought. "You and all of the other traitors are going to die tonight. Why I had to be saddled with traitors for a son and wife, I'll never know."

"You're the one who is too blind to see reason, Father," Itachi shouted as he used his smaller stature and speed to get out of range of the onslaught. "Blinded by your rage and pride."

Sasuke watched the battle in front of him with no reaction. His mind and body were numb and the only part of him that wasn't immobile was vehemently denying what was happening and writing it off as a horrid nightmare that he'd wake up from soon.

"Do you really think you can take the head of your clan on, mongrel of a son," their father shouted as he performed a seal-less Great Fireball straight at Itachi. Itachi vanished into the enormous orb of roiling flames before he reappeared several moments later out of the fire zone, performing a flawless Body Flicker.

"Stop this madness, Father," Itachi shouted. He held his kunai up in front of him, but it was clear from his labored breathing that the was winding down already and their father appeared to be just warming up as the two continued to face off. "Your uprising has failed and even if it had succeeded, the only thing that the village would have to look forward to is another Secret World War. If you stop now, the most you'll be charged with is murder. Mother's death will warrant nothing less."

"Silence," their father bellowed. "Your mother was a traitor, like you. It was a shame I hadn't learned of her betrayal earlier, or I would have killed her sooner. Not that it matters now. I'll kill you, just like her, and then I'll make sure to bring Sasuke up respectful of his betters, in a village run by the Uchiha. Any war that is started will be over before it begins when I, Fugaku Uchiha, the next Hokage, decide to let loose our clan's might."

Itachi's eyes narrowed and his guarded stance shifted into a belligerent one. "Say what you will, but leave Sasuke out of this."

"Die!" their father shouted as he leaped forward to attack. Itachi dodged left, feinted right, and attempted to stab with his kunai. But despite the fact that Itachi was the strongest and brightest Uchiha of his generation, he was still a thirteen year old boy. His father knocked aside his attack with one hand and landed a devastating blow to Itachi's chest with the other. The blow sent Itachi flying backwards and into the side of a house.

"A wasted effort, fool," Fugaku sneered as he gripped his kunai and dashed forward. "Now let us end thi-"

"Great Fireball Jutsu!"

"Wha-"

Fugaku was engulfed in a ball of fire just moments before he reached Itachi. The jutsu lasted several seconds. When the flames dispersed, Fugaku turned slowly toward Sasuke. The Uchiha Clan Head's clothes and skin were burned and his hair smoking, but he was otherwise unharmed.

"You!" Fugaku shouted as he pointed at Sasuke. His youngest glared at him with the vehemence of rage only an active Sharingan could produce. A single tomoe swirled in Sasuke's now red eyes. "I'll deal with you once I'm done dealing with your traitorous brother, boy!" Fugaku shouted. The clan head went to take a step toward Itachi when he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his back enter his heart.

"You won't be dealing with anyone," Itachi said from behind him. "Now pay for your crimes and pray that a fate worse than death does not befall the village."

Sasuke watched, his insides torn up by a fiery emotion he didn't really understand, as Itachi pulled a bloody Kunai from their father's back. Then their father fell forward onto the ground, stone dead. Watching their father lie there with a dark puddle growing beneath him made Sasuke the angriest he ever remembered being. He went to dash up to their father, to kick the dead man for insulting their mother by looking in death just like she did. But the moment he took one step, everything went black and he too fell to the ground as his chakra completely depleted.

* * *

 _The next morning…_

Itachi stood before the Hokage in deafening silence. The Hokage had his eyes closed in contemplation, having just heard Itachi's report on the uprising and the result. The only thing breaking the silence with any regularity was when the Hokage took a puff from his pipe.

Itachi stood silently himself as the events from the previous night played out in his minds eye. From how the argument between his father and mother had quickly spiraled out of control to when he sided with his mother to the running street battle with his father and his allies, the final fight in front of the compound entrance, and then the moment when everything in the compound fell silent. His eyes were still stinging from their unexpected transformation.

'Gaining the Mangekyō Sharingan from killing Father, whom I didn't really feel that great a connection to, bewilders me,' Itachi thought. 'Nothing like what I read about in the shrine. Yet one more thing to figure out. Perhaps I underestimated the bond we had.'

"What do you think I should do with the insurrectionists?" the Hokage finally asked. The old man opened his eyes and stared at Itachi. "As you are the eldest of your father's children, tradition makes you his replacement until the clan chooses his true successor. Your opinion on this matter will carry a lot of weight."

Itachi remained silent as he contemplated the Hokage's question. 'I could tell him to kill them all, but that's more than likely to illicit some kind of negative response from the other prominent clans. The politics of this village are ridiculously tedious to deal with. It's no wonder the Hokage wants outside opinions. Perhaps a more diplomatic response would be appropriate, considering the positions we're all facing right now.

"I believe that, if this were to be publicly persecuted, then the other clans would be politically enticed to make a public outcry," Itachi said. "After all, if it can happen to the Uchiha, one of the greatest ninja clans in the world, then it can happen to anyone. For all they know, the Hokage could very well have ordered a minor civil war from within the Uchiha just because you had disagreements. The fact that those disagreements were anything but minor, and that it was my father who instigated the event, would be lost on the others. The instinct of self preservation is strong, especially so in Konoha clans."

The Hokage nodded and steepled his fingers in front of him. "What would you suggest then?"

Itachi said, "The rebels not only endangered the clan, but the village and the Fire Nation as well by making an invasion possible; by making us look weak and divided. A war is the last thing anyone should ever have to face after we've paid such a heavy price for our current peace. As such, they should be considered traitors and dealt with appropriately. To keep the clans and the village from getting too outraged, keep the knowledge of what happens to the insurrectionists to as few as is possible to get away with. Perhaps put out a cover story saying everyone of them had died in the fighting against Uchiha who are still loyal to the village."

The Hokage nodded and took a deep breath. "That is essentially the conclusion I came to as well. It is a pity that some of them must be put to death, but that was the fate they chose when they carried out this foolish coup attempt." Pulling out a slip of paper, the Hokage began writing. "I'm convening an emergency meeting of the village leadership. Seeing as how you are the head until the new one has been chosen, I'd like you to be there to represent Uchiha interests."

"As you will, Hokage-sama," Itachi said. "However, I would like to bring a friend with me, if that is allowable."

"You are allowed one witness for the open session, but secret meetings are only for the Clan Heads, the Village Council of Elders, and myself," the Hokage explained as he finished writing the slip of paper. He made a motion with his hand and an ANBU appeared to take the note. "Have this delivered to all the clan heads and village leaders," the Hokage said before he turned back to Itachi. As the ANBU vanished the Hokage said, "Your father usually brought his brother with him as witness. If you do not mind me asking, who do you plan on bringing?"

"Shisui," Itachi said. "He was one of the two people that convinced me to try and rally the rest of the clan against the rebels. Without his help, I don't believe I would have been able to do anything but kill everyone to the last man, woman, and child."

The Hokage regarded Itachi curiously for several seconds and then asked, "Another question, if you will?" Itachi inclined his head, listening. "Who was the second person who convinced you?"

Itachi smirked. "A little blond runt who lacks the ability to ever quit. At anything."

The Hokage's face broke into a broad grin. "Yeah," he said as he went back to puffing on his pipe. "That brat."

* * *

The Hokage lifted a rather heavy, and ornately carved, rock and slammed it down onto the table in front of him. He sat at the head of a very long, very short table at which all the heads of the major and minor clans sat. On either side of him were the Koharu and Homura. Seated at the other end of the long table was Danzo, his arm and head still bandaged. Not all of the clan heads brought witnesses, but those that did had them sitting at the back of the room.

Once everyone had fallen silent, the Hokage began, "As all of you are no doubt aware of by now, the Uchiha had a small rebellion yesterday. Over ninty percent of the current active police force has been killed. A few of the rebels survived, however the majority of them were slain by the hands of those Uchiha still loyal to Konoha. Now, I've heard some of the rumors flying around and I will tell you that the absolute truth is no one under my orders was involved in the lead up to or sparking of the rebellion. In fact, myself, the elders, and ANBU Chief Danzo were in negotiations with Fugaku to settle our differences for over three years before he broke off the talks. The elders can vouch for this fact."

The Hokage paused as he looked out over the council to gauge their reaction so far. Judging from the looks he saw, the majority of the clans believed his words, though the Hyuuga and the Aburame heads, Hiashi and Shibi respectively, appeared like they wished to speak. Shibi was sitting in for his father, who was ill and required bed rest, or so he'd been told. While it was traditional to let the Hokage have his say before anyone else spoke, as the Hokage, he had some leeway in when others spoke during his own alloted time to speak.

The Hokage nodded at Hiashi first, as a sign of respect to the second most powerful clan, now first most powerful, in the village. Hiashi nodded and said, "It was my understanding, which you have confirmed, that some of the traitors from the Uchiha survived the rebellion and are currently being held prisoner. Considering that they are, in fact, traitors, I had assumed they would immediately be put to death to make an example. It's my opinion that this is the most sensible course of action, considering the crimes for which they committed."

"I had thoughts along similar lines myself," Shibi said. "Though my initial inclination was to show the others clans that rebellion will not be tolerated and all efforts to come to a solution through diplomacy must be taken, another idea might possible hold greater value. Instead of simply killing them, why not make use of them. It was, to my understanding, that they acted out of deference to the village's safety. If that is so, and I am not mistaken, then why not exile them to live and work outside of the village, never to return until pain of death."

Before anyone could object, and it was clear that Danzo, Koharu, and many of the sitting clan heads looked like they really wanted to interject, it was Shikaku, newly appointed Nara Clan head, that cut them off before they could. He cleared his throat loud enough to be heard and said, "I believe I have a solution that could solve everyone's problems."

The Hokage arched an eyebrow as he watched everyone at the table immediately settle down. 'The famed strategical mind of the Nara clan and any ideas that spring from therein, apparently, carried a lot of weight,' the Hokage thought. 'Not that I've ever seen those plans go wrong yet.'

"The traitors who fought in the rebellion are not likely to work for us," Shikaku said. "Even if their initial plans were for the village's safety under their care, they're not likely to protect it after they lost and were humiliated. The Uchiha, after all, are famed for their ability to hold a grudge. I'm sure we all remember the stories our grandparents told us about Madara Uchiha and the grudge he held."

Several nods were seen around the table. "While not the best example," Itachi said from his spot near the Hokage's end of the table, "even within the clan, several grudges from before the formation of Konoha are still kept, though those are mainly with other clans now residing in Kumo and Kiri."

"My suggestion," Shikaku continued, "is to secretly replace the "rebels" with Uchiha that are still loyal to Konoha. Give the real traitors a traitor's death. Under the auspices of being 'exiled' for their 'crime', and because the Hokage is a lenient leader to the now diminished Uchiha clan, these shinobi would have free reign to operate inside the borders of the Fire Nation. They would have to set up bases, raise funds, and everything else a shinobi needs to operate independent of the village, but would still be secretly under the command of the Hokage. In other words, an allied force of Uchiha shinobi pretending to be exiled rebels."

"This plan is cunning," Danzo said, drawing attention to himself, "however it has the negative consequence of removing the only loyal Uchiha ninja from the village. If this independent unit were to fall into the wrong hands, Konoha would be the first one to be targeted. As of yet, no one has found a counter to a Sharingan besides another Sharingan. With all of our Sharingan users away, who would be left to protect the Village if the worst were indeed to occur. No, I do not support this plan."

Shikaku sighed and rubbed his head in annoyance as several other clan heads nodded in agreement. The Hokage tapped his finger on the table to get everyone's attention. 'As much sense as your words make, Danzo,' the Hokage thought, 'I rather like the idea too much.'

"Though you are correct that the village would be left without _young_ Uchiha to protect it, should the worst come to pass," the Hokage said, emphasizing the word 'young', "I believe the opportunity of having a covert band of Ninja outside the walls of the village is too great to pass up. Other villages will no doubt seek out the 'exiled' ninja in hopes of recruiting them into their own ranks. This will give our 'exiles' the chance to gather intelligence on the other villages, but also to find any holes in our defenses that we might have currently overlooked. And being 'exiles' give the band a perfect excuse to not align with anyone at all, and perhaps take out some of our competitors as well. I do concede that letting go of all the young Uchiha still loyal to the village would be a mistake. It would be smarter, perhaps, to split the capable Ninja in half. That leaves the 'exiles' with fourteen members, if my memory serves."

"Fifteen," Itachi said. All eyes turned to the thirteen year old ANBU captain. "I will be leading them. Call us Rebels."

* * *

 _Two weeks later…_

Sasuke stood among the remnants of his clan at the southern gate of Konoha. It was clear that the younger Uchiha was struggling to keep his composure from the way his body trembled every few seconds while he waited for Itachi to finish saying his farewells to what was left of the clan. Sasuke could barely stand to be there, but he grit his teeth and forced his legs to lock into standing position, even though the only way he could do that was if he squeezed his eyes shut. And then the time finally came and the crowd of Uchiha separated so that Itachi could kneel down in front of Sasuke.

"It's time for me to go, Sasuke," Itachi said.

Sasuke opened his mouth and gasped, not entirely realizing that he'd been holding his breath until that moment. "I…" Sasuke said, "I don't want you to. This is so stupid! Why can't you stay? After everything that's happened, why must everything end this way?"

"I have already told you why," Itachi said. A sad smile crossed Itachi's face before he pulled Sasuke into a hug. Sasuke hesitated for a moment, then grabbed onto Itachi and buried his face into his older brother's shoulder. "Just like we agreed," Itachi said, "you'll study hard and become strong enough to protect the village from inside while I do the same from the outside."

"I swear," Sasuke said. "I'll not let you or the clan down." He felt tears on his cheeks but wore them as proof of his commitment. "I'll make it so everyone accepts the Uchiha again so you can come home."

Itachi pulled back and smiled. "I look forward to that day. Grow strong, Sasuke. Protect everyone and I'm sure that we'll be reunited all the sooner." Having said that, Itachi released Sasuke and stood. With a short nod to the others around them, Itachi turned and started walking. About half of the crowd, half of the younger members of the clan who'd become ninja, followed behind Itachi while the rest, elderly or civilian members, gathered behind Sasuke.

Before anyone could see what had happened, Sasuke had pulled a kunai out. With a quick jab, he stabbed the blade into his hand. Grimacing, Sasuke clenched his bleeding hand into a fist and said, "I swear on my life, I will bring you home, Itachi. I will make the clan whole!" The remnant Uchiha whom stayed in Konoha glanced at each other after the young scion's blood oath. Slowly, a non-verbal understanding came to be amongst them. Sasuke may have spilled the blood, but he spoke for all of them. They would all work to bring their clan back together again.

* * *

A/N: Here we have an alternative to the Uchiha Rebellion. What if Itachi had chosen to not go murder happy and mind rape his little brother in some convoluted plan that was bound to fail in an epic way (see Orochimaru). The instigation for this change just so happens to be our favorite, orange wearing proto-Hokage, Naruto. I happen to like the idea of a Sasuke without a revenge persona, makes him tolerable. In fact, that is the only kind of Sasuke personality that I like the idea of, because the rest piss me off.

Leave a review and tell me what you think!

~I.K.A. Valian


	18. The Summoned Soul 1

**Naruto: The Summoned Soul**

* * *

By I.K.A. Valian

Disclaimer: I Don't Own!

* * *

 _Chapter One_

Let me just start off this auto-biography of my life by saying that it is, technically speaking, only half of my life. Yes, my body is now only thirty-two years old, but my mind is over eighty. I know. It sounds ridiculous. But consider the world of shinobi we all live in, where the use of the Shinobi arts makes impossible things possible. So it was with me and my 'creation'. Truly, I was created in this world. But my soul, for lack of a better way of describing the essence that is me, was plucked from an entirely different world where in I was already a fifty year old man.

I won't delve into my previous life, seeing as it isn't really relevant to this world or any experiences that would be relevant to you, the readers. So, I'll just start this story of my life at the time it started in this world, during the Third Great Shinobi War. I was 'conceived' as a thought experiment by scientists and seal masters in Iwagakure. What would a perfect shinobi look like? That was the great question. Their answer was a sculpted mass of flesh that had no weaknesses or emotions. A literal killing machine that could not be sensed in any way, shape, or form until you saw the results of its dastardly deeds.

That was how I was conceived, anyway. Fortunately, the Tsuchikage shut the program down before it could get farther than asking the question. I personally like to think that he feared what the fruits of their labor would create more than he feared losing the war. After all, a perfect shinobi would always be killing, stealing, spying, and so on. And any hidden village who gained such a powerful ally would end up top dog, and after a while, the only dog in the world with a bone. That would mean the perfect shinobi would have no one left to kill, or fight, or spy on, or cheat, or steal secrets from… except that this is the perfect shinobi, so he'd just turn on his masters, Iwa in this case, and start a revolt. Not the ending that the Tsuchikage looked forward to.

Sadly, the scientists and seal masters working on the project believed like faith-blind idiots that their research and project would win the war against Konohagakure and secure Iwagakure's place as the pre-eminent power in the world. So they accepted the Tsuchikage's orders to stop their work and happily ignored it to continue on in secret with the hidden blessings of powerful, and wealthy, political interests now paying for it instead of the Village Hidden by the Rocks. I later came to learn that the largest benefactor of this research was one unscrupulous old man with visions of grandeur living in Konoha, but that was eventually dealt with much later, after the scientists were all dealt with.

So, now you good readers should be asking, how did I go from a concept in the minds of a few deranged men to a living breathing person? The answer came in the waning days of the war against Konoha. The Konoha Hero known as the Yellow Flash had already nearly won the war for the Village Hidden in the Leaves during the Battle of Kannabi Bridge and there was just one more battle before Iwa called the war off. The scientists and seal masters working in a secret base were far from finished working out the kinks in their theory, but they felt like they could accurately predict and control the creation of a 'perfect' shinobi. One who would be more than a match against the Yellow Flash. Poor fools.

Those stupid men rushed their research and skipped over vital experiments in order to get their damn trump card before the war was over. Everyone in the elemental nations knew that the war would be ending soon. Iwa was bleeding badly and Konoha, though also bleeding, was not looking so bad in comparison. Money was running low and unlike Fire Country, the Iwa Daimyo wasn't as happy to prolong the war any more than it needed to be. The Fire Daimyo, for his part, was watching his Konoha ninja capture key trade routes and vital river ports that would, inevitably, make the war effort look like an investment in a fortune ten times larger than the cost of it.

And so the stupid men, blinded by their faith in their infallibility, had the misfortune of their lifetimes. They succeeded. None of them lived beyond their experiment's completion, which was a resounding success according to their projections. Better even. They'd brought the exact amount of each element it takes to create a human body and used sealing arts to combine them and one final ingredient into a living breathing person. The final ingredient was captured by a lone seal that reached out across time and space and found me, specifically, my soul. The seal plucked my soul from my body just as I was falling asleep in bed, ready to dream happy dreams or whatever it is I dream about.

Just as the seals were going off with big flashes of light and loud sounds, disaster struck. I did say that the scientist and seal masters all died. They didn't die from the experiment, but from the one person they least expected nor wished to see at that moment. He had a bright shock of yellow hair and deep blue eyes. It didn't take long for the man to lay waste to the entire facility that the Iwa men were working in, but it was already too late to stop the experiment. Namikaze Minato, Elite Jounin of Konohagakure, could only watch amazement and fear as I was born into the world.

The stupid men should have performed those other experiments, or at least done the math. They'd miscalculated the power requirements and that, in turn, messed up how the seals would have needed to be drawn. Ideally, the soul would have been drawn randomly from the Pure World, where all souls that depart from this world go for their eternal rest. No, instead their stupid seal had to reach out to the nearest dimension with a soul in it and randomly, by all the chance of the universes, latched onto me. On top of that, I was born into this world as an infant, instead of the full grown man the Iwa scientists were expecting.

I suppose I shouldn't complain _too_ much about their stupidity. If I had turned out as they'd expected, then Minato would have likely killed me to prevent me from becoming a threat. But because I was just an infant, admittedly a weird one with deep, forest green hair and amber eyes that seemed to glow in the fire light of burning wreckage, Minato's heart softened. The first daylight I saw in this world was from the arms of Minato as he exited the underground lair of the scientists. Several dozen exploding tags he'd placed throughout the facility detonated when we were a safe distance away, erasing all existence of how I was brought into this world, for the better I say.

Minato brought me back to Konoha, delivering the deranged scientists 'perfect' shinobi into the hands of their most hated enemy. As a side note, I should point out that I am _far_ from perfect. That didn't mean I wasn't potentially dangerous, not for being an infant of dubious creation, but for what I represented and the possible potential I contained.

There are some strange things about my body here that are completely different from the one I had from my previous life. Where before I had a decent memory, here my mind was like a recording machine with the switch permanently fused into the record position. I can remember everything that happened to me from the moment Minato lifted me off the cold stone floor. Logically, the 'perfect' shinobi would have perfect memory, so obviously, that was one of the traits programmed into my body. The scientists hadn't expected a soul to come back with its experiences intact, let alone from a completely different universe, so while a fresh soul with no understanding would not have understood anything that it observed, I perfectly comprehended everything I was experiencing right away.

That didn't mean I was happy about it. I screamed. A lot. I sort of feel bad for Minato now that I think back on it since he had to deal with me all the way back to Konoha. I believe I gave him pause when he was thinking about any children he wanted to have, not that finding out what his son would have become like would have improved his feelings on the subject. I'll get to _that_ part of my story later.

I remember the ride back to the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Minato didn't need to run very far, as far as I could tell. He would jump, fling something into the distance as hard as he could, and then there was a bright yellow flash, and we were not in the same place as we were before. This process continued for some time, which I will freely admit that during that time, I was screaming bloody murder. If Minato wasn't a ninja, I'm sure his ear drums would have been ruptured.

"Easy there, small one," he'd told me some time during the journey. "We're almost to your new home. I'm sure you'll love it. It's called Konohagakure. It's where I live and all my favorite people and places are. If you give it a chance, you might like it too."

The only response he got out of me was more screaming, not that I understood what he was saying at the time. The reason I was screaming wasn't because I didn't understand what was going on. Logically, I knew I was in the body of an infant, I was being carried through the air by a man I didn't know, and we were practically flying by magic. The man wasn't trying to sound threatening and what I saw in his eyes was only kindness. No, I was screaming because I didn't understand why this dream had turned into a nightmare.

At the time, I had a slight fear of small, tight spaces. Being held so close and still by Minato had sent off warning bells throughout my body until I couldn't stop myself from screaming. I just could. Not. Move. The emotions and terror flowing through me was just too much for me to contain in such a small body, which was another oddity that I didn't understand. Add all of that on top of the fact that I was confused about everything going on around me, even if I could understand it, left me in a foul mood to end all foul moods.

So I cried the whole trip back to Konoha. I swear, even if I was being held and crying so hard my eyes were screwed shut, I've never seen anyone run so fast through the village as I saw Minato running to the Hokage tower. As we breezed past the different people calling out to Minato, all I could sense were blurs. And then we entered the building itself and ascended the stairs so fast that the record has yet to be beaten as far as I know. To this day, I don't know why Minato didn't just jump through the Hokage's office window.

As soon as we entered the Hokage's office, Minato essentially thrust me into the arms of some brown haired woman who looked like she was getting on in the years. I was still screaming my head off and the woman, who I later learned was Sarutobi Biwako, could only stare at me and then Minato in bewilderment. Then something clicked, and Biwako slumped me over her shoulder and started bouncing while humming some tune I'd never heard before. I screamed some more, but slowly, inevitably, the terror left me and the confusion didn't seem to matter as much. My eyelids grew heavy and then, I was asleep.

Thank God for that woman. Now, for another quirk of my designed biology. I don't just remember things I'm conscious for, oh no. Those Iwa scientists went for the full package deal. I remember absolutely _everything_ I sense, that includes my time spent unconscious. So, I heard and remember the conversation that followed the Calming of The Babe.

"Honestly, Minato," Biwako said, "How can you expect to raise children if you can't even handle one screaming baby?"

"I'm hoping that my child won't be so… fussy," Minato said. He turned to the Hokage, who sat behind his large desk with his hands clasped in front of him and a very amused expression on his face, and made a short bow. "Hokage-sama, I've taken care of the Iwa research facility. There was no evidence of who was supporting them, so the reports from Iwa claiming that the Tsuchikage stopped the research years ago isn't impossible, but it can't be proven either. I've destroyed the facility and all of the research with paper bombs, so it won't be a problem any longer."

"It only took you three days to find and destroy everything?" The Third Hokage asked. He smirked and added, "If anything, I'm even more convinced now than I was before."

"Hokage-sama?" Minato asked uncertainly.

"When the war ends," the third began, "and it will end. When the war ends, I'm going to be announcing my successor and stepping down from the post of Hokage. I'm going to name you my successor, Minato-kun."

"I… what?!"

"I have no doubts that you are the right man for the job," the third said. "You're very talented, you've got the experience and strength, and most importantly, you are well respected and loved by the populace. I've asked and all of the elders _actually_ agree with me, even that old bat Danzo. I don't know what you did to catch his fancy, but in a few weeks it won't be my problem anymore." The third laughed jovially at the bewildered blond in front of him.

"Ahh… uhh… yes, Hokage-sama," Minato said. It was clear from the tenor of his voice that he wasn't entirely sure this was happening. "Thank you, Hokage-sama! I'm honored that I would even be considered for the job."

"The honor is mine, Minato," the Hokage said. "Truly, to have met a ninja as capable as you is a once in a lifetime chance. I have no doubts that the village will not only be safe, but prosper to even greater heights in your more than capable hands."

* * *

Eight months later, there was a very big event in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The Nine-tailed Demon Fox was unleashed upon the village where it rampaged for a short time. Almost as soon as it had appeared, though not quick enough to keep a chunk of the ninja population alive, the giant nine tailed beast was attacked by the Fourth Hokage, Minato, riding atop the largest toad anyone had ever seen. And then, the fox and the Fourth Hokage were gone in a giant yellow flash.

At the time, in the orphanage I was placed in, I watched the adults run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Some fainted from the stress of the waves of potent demonic chakra, others threw up, and a few tried to take charge of the situation. Me, I just cried. What the heck was an eight month old infant expected to do. Even now, the memory I have of that night sticks out as one of my most terrifying experiences.

Sometime later, the Fourth Hokage was found on his last leg, just about to die. Beside him lay the dead bodies of Biwako, Uzumaki Kushina, and several ANBU. The only one not about to die was a wailing infant with blond hair, blue eyes, three whisker marks on each cheek, and a spiral seal on his stomach. The Fourth made it known he desired for the boy to be seen as a hero because it was through Naruto that the feared Nine-tailed Demon was held in check. Having said this, the young Hokage died.

Shortly after the funeral for the Fourth Hokage, which everyone in the village attended, the Third Hokage was re-instated as to the post. His first order of business was to create a law that no one but Uzumaki Naruto or the Hokage could reveal what exactly Naruto held within the seal on his stomach. He hoped that by keeping the beast a secret from the younger generation, they'd over look the fact that Naruto was a Jinchuriki and allow the boy to have a semblance of a normal childhood. Something most Jinchuriki don't get. Secretly, he suppressed any and all connection that Naruto had to the Fourth Hokage, in the hopes that it would protect the young boy from the aspirations of those who would seek revenge against Minato. With that done, Naruto was sent to the Happy Valley Konoha Orphanage.

We made music trying to outcry the each other. I like to think I won, but for the sake of fairness, I'll just say that those crying contests were really only one sided. Naruto had no capacity to think as I did, at the time.

It took me a year after always listening to the people around me to learn the language. Frankly, I believe that is a slight against the stupid Iwa scientists who thought that they were making the 'ultimate' ninja who'd learn as fast as any Sharingan wielder. Idiots. So twelve months after being 'born' into this world, four months after Naruto was born, I finally learned to understand what everyone around me was saying.

I am sad to say that my crying lessened dramatically after that. As much as I enjoyed torturing the poor souls who attended to me with my piercing demonic wails, that isn't the reason I was sad. No, I was sad because the people around me immediately took notice and removed me from Naruto's presence, believing I had been cowed by the presence of what they termed the 'demon' baby.

I was placed in a new room, with older children. That was most certainly not a good thing, as it turned out, because the older children, with their child mental capacity, decided that I looked, smelled, and sounded weird. Needless to say, no one ever tried to play with me and I usually sat in a corner, by myself, on a rug, playing with blocks and secretly listening to the adults watching us.

This routine of playing by myself, being insulted by the big kids, eating, and sleeping, became my reality surprisingly fast. When I was about one year and five months old, I overheard some of the adult's gossip. I usually listened to the older people talking so that I could learn more of the language.

"I can't wait, Shishu," said Haru. I'd come to believe Haru was the nicest adult in the place. She was always taking a little time to play with me just before her shift was up. "In three weeks, I'll never have to deal with that little monster ever again!"

"Oh goodness," replied Shishu. She leaned forward and placed a hand on Haru's shoulder, a smile on her face. "I envy you so much. Dealing with that thing is harder than people would think! It's only made worse when you think that somewhat cute exterior is just trying to trick us into thinking that it's not really a demon."

I see, they were talking about Naruto. I continued to play with my blocks while I listened. I didn't want to raise any suspicions that a one and a half year old could understand next to everything that was being spoken. I'd learned my lesson when I'd stopped crying, and I kind of liked the status quo for the time being.

"Shhh!" Haru said. She quickly reached up and put a hand over Shishu's mouth. "Don't even talk about talking about that. My neighbor was abducted by ANBU right in front of me when all he was doing was complaining to his kids about how 'it' had killed their grandparents."

"Wow…" Shishu said, her eyes wide in shock. "The Third wasn't kidding when he made that law."

"No." Haru heaved a heavy sigh. "I can't wait to get away from this place. All this stress about what I can and can't say is driving me nuts."

"I'm sorry," Shishu said. "You're always so happy when you work with kids. I'm sorry that… _thing_ is taking that away from you."

Haru narrowed her eyes and a slight snarl crossed her face. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I'd later learn that what I was feeling was called Killer Intent, or a projection of anger, hate, and loathing along the body's natural field of chakra. It was like how the sun could create Aurora Borealis's when solar flare energy was channeled along the earth's magnetic field. At the time, I didn't know what I was feeling, and so I just pushed back against it. It was like the most natural thing in the world to me and I continued to push until I didn't feel that foreign presence pushing down on me anymore.

This conversation changed my opinion of Haru fairly quickly. Naruto hadn't done anything to deserve this anger. I, strangely, didn't feel betrayed by Haru, but rather, I felt sad. I was sad that Haru was so caught up in herself that she couldn't see past her own emotions.

Several months later, I was brought into the play room and found we had a new addition. He was blond, had blue eyes, and these whiskers marks on his cheeks. The moment I saw him, because until this time, I hadn't actually laid eyes on Naruto, a flash of recognition ran through me.

 _Yosh! My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I like cup ramen. I like it even more when Iruka-sensei buys me ramen from Ichiraku. What I dislike is the three minutes it takes for cup ramen to cook. My dream is to surpass the Hokage and then have all the people of the village acknowledge my existence! Dattebayo!_

I _am_ from another world, spiritually and mentally. This fact must be accepted for anything from within my life to be believed. Starting with this first moment of eye contact with the young child named Uzumaki Naruto. I knew him from my original world. Up until this point, I'd assumed I was in the afterlife or some such thing. Or it could have been possible that I had fallen into a coma. While the second possibility was still viable, that didn't detract from the fact that in my world, Uzumaki Naruto is the main character of a coming of age story about Ninja. None of my experiences up until this point in my life had given me an inkling of where I was or what was going on around me. So blind was I to the possibility of my new reality that I didn't even connect the story of Naruto to the name Naruto.

Take a moment to think about it for a moment. Imagine if one of you awoke one day in the world of Icha Icha. I imagine Jiraiya of the Sannin would enjoy that very much, but realistically, consider how the characters of that world would react to your presence. How would you react to your foreknowledge of the plot? That is why it must be believed that I am not of this world spiritually, because otherwise, when I say that I felt like I had gone off the deep end, dove into the abyss of insanity, and drowned myself on the bile of lunacy, I would sound… well, nuts.

I suppose all Ninja are a little crazy. The best are a lot crazy. The worst have moved beyond crazy and embraced insanity. Still, my claim is true. I come from and remember a world in which the story of Uzumaki Naruto was something to read and enjoy. And now, I am living in that world.

If you believe that it is possible for my body to be the successful result of a bunch of Iwa scientist's attempts to create a perfect shinobi. If you can accept that my soul was born, grown, and taken from another dimension. If you can agree that this world's most recent history is a fictional story, then the story that I am going to tell you will not sound so farfetched.

When I saw Naruto that first time, I remembered the animated retelling of Naruto the story. It was the point where Naruto introduced himself to his prospective Genin team after graduating from the Konoha Ninja Academy. The memory flash lasted less than a moment, but the shock from realizing exactly where I was caused me to freeze up while staring at Naruto. I stayed this way until Shishu knelt down in my line of sight and asked, "Anba, what's wrong?"

Up until this point, I'd yet to speak a single word. Oh, I had started communicating, but it was mostly by body language and pointing. So when Shishu asked me what was wrong, I blinked at her and walked away. I was already considered a strange child to begin with, so I saw no reason to change that. Strange people have more fun anyhow.

To tell the truth, the fact that no one knew that I was capable of adult reasoning and logic, let alone thought patterns, was a boon. I was so confused and lost at that moment that I don't know what I would have done if anyone had expected anything more from me than playing with my blocks. And play with my blocks was what I did for the next week while on the inside I was thinking over everything that being in this world meant.

There were ninja here. There was Naruto here. Ninja and Naruto. Naruto and Ninja. Ninja Naruto! Naruto Ninja! Now, I lived my whole life before this point in peace. The world I came from was relatively peaceful. Yes, there were uprisings and hotspots of violence around the planet, but continent wide warfare had ended ninety years before I'd come to this world. The most stressful things most people worried about were lawyers and politicians, who also happened to be lawyers in most cases.

Here, there most recent war of any consequence was under a decade ago and tensions were still intolerably high. I brought up the memories I'd recorded from my arrival and realized for the first time that it was the Yondaime himself that had rescued me from the people that created me. I worked it out in my head that the Third Secret Ninja World War had just ended a little under three years ago. People died every day fighting each other over… whatever it was ninja fought over. It was a cold pall that fell over me as I put the pieces together and realized that this world was much more violent than the world I lived in for the first fifty years of my life.

After that week of introspection had passed, I'd concluded several points. I was unlikely to ever go home, so I would have to make a new life for myself here. This was a world of bloody violence and darkness; it wouldn't be going too far to say that this could be called a dark age compared to the world I'd just come from. There was no guarantee that this world's fate would even remotely resemble that of the story from my world, so I'd have to pay close attention to what happened around me and react to things as they happened, just like anyone else; I would have to keep my knowledge of the story plot secret and use it sparingly. Finally, even though I'd already lived through five decades of life, I was still enthralled with the idea of jumping around like a ninja. I just had to get me some of that.

I was going into this world with fifty years of experience. I'd have insights into the way things would work before anyone else in my age group. I would be able to read into situations better than others, and on top of the years of experience I already had, I also had my memories of the story from back home. If this wasn't some sort of playground in heaven, I didn't know where I was. Scratch that: I could be in some kind of torture chamber in hell.

So it came to pass that on my second birthday, I chose that moment to speak my first words. Shishu put a small cupcake down in front of me with a candle sticking out of it and all the other orphans had gathered around me to sing the birthday song. All of the other orphans save Naruto, of course. He was already being ostracized, but being two years old and "illiterate", I had no say in the matter. I swore that would change today.

I blew out the candle and all the adult caretakers cheered. The other orphans did as well, some of them wondering what I had wished for. I figured there was no reason to keep them in the dark.

"It was no wish, but a promise," I said in clear, articulated words. The room had fallen dead silent and everyone's attention was now on me, but I pressed on. "I will become a most powerful Shinobi and work so that no one has to lose a loved one. No more orphans. Ever."

Then I stood up, grabbed my cupcake, and pushed my way through the silent crowd. I made my way to the other side of the room, where Naruto sat. He didn't seem to be very aware, but considering he was just shy of a year and a half. Still, I ripped a piece of my cupcake off and put it down in front of the kid.

Naruto, being a typical sixteen month old, wasn't even fazed by the appearance of the food. He just laughed, grabbed the cake, stuffed it into his mouth, and continued laughing as he did his thing. That was fine by me. It was a nice cupcake, though.

That was the last time anyone celebrated my birthday in the Happy Valley Konoha Orphanage. After that stunt, I started getting the evil eye from the other orphans and the caretakers. Shishu seemed to be the only one who didn't overtly distrust me, though I could tell that she was watching me with the same distrustfulness as the others when she thought I wasn't looking. At least I had the ability to rationalize what the adults were doing and accept that it was their fear that was causing them to act this way rather than some innate dislike of me. The other orphans had no excuse though, they were just a bunch of assholes.

After my second birthday, I started my training. I figured, why not get started early. If I was going to be a super ninja of awesome sauce, then I would need to get in as much training as possible. Plus, having ten years of training over my fellow genin when I graduate from the Academy would just make things easier for me overall.

Unfortunately, there isn't much a two year old can do to train when you're watched over constantly by adults who think you're just goofing off and need to be punished for running around the small, but rather spacious front yard of the orphanage. So I was told to go sit in a corn, but not one to give up lightly, I figured if I couldn't do anything about the physical side of being a ninja, I could work on the mental side. Half of any ninja battle, as any good shinobi will tell you, is chakra control. Currently, I had next to zero.

So when I wasn't running, catapulting, tumbling, rolling, or jumping all over the place like a hooligan hopped up on speed, I was sitting in a corner with my eyes closed focusing inward. The concept of chakra had never been foreign to me. In my old life, there were plenty of people who claimed to have utilized their Ki, which is the only thing I could equate it with. So, working along those lines, I focused my mind on the energy that should, theoretically, be flowing through me. One might consider it cheating, but I was also using the Naruto story as a reference on chakra as well, but ninja are nothing if not cheaters. It took a while, but days turned to weeks, and then months, I started to feel this pulsing energy inside of me, like it was linked to my heart, only it wasn't blood.

One day, about seven months into my self-imposed training regime, another of the orphans approached me and asked me, "Hey, Anba."

I opened one eye and saw a young brown haired boy named Gosu standing before me. Behind Gosu was his group of lackeys that were his 'enforcers'. Gosu wasn't a bully in the traditional sense because he treated people fairly for the most part. If he asked you a question, or told you to do something, most kids answered or performed without question under the threat of violence that his larger than average frame implied. He was the oldest orphan in the building now, the previous oldest orphan having left to join the Ninja Academy two months previous, all of which meant that Gosu was the de facto leader among the orphans. This status of leader by age was something of a tradition in the orphanage, I'd come to learn. Gosu had been under the thumb of the last leader and received the majority of the punishment _that_ entailed.

The last guy, Tensuke, _was_ a bully in the traditional sense. To go from an asshole like Tensuke to Gosu was like going from an evil dictator to a populist civil servant. Still, most people remembered Tensuke and his reign of terror. Because of that, they respected Gosu's authority, even though he didn't really do all that much to keep up the image. Sometimes I wondered if Gosu despised the way Tensuke's presence still haunted him even when the older kid was no longer around.

"Yes, Gosu," I replied.

" _He_ is acting up again," Gosu said. "I talked the grown-ups into letting you deal with it, so you don't have to be in time-out anymore."

Gosu was, of course, talking about Naruto. I took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll get right on it," I said as I stood.

I quickly walked off toward where I knew Naruto would be. He'd likely be in the yard out front, screaming his head off and just being difficult to deal with in general. The adults would, likely, still be trying to calm him down with a combination of veiled threts and promises of treats. They wouldn't act for fear of setting the Nine-tails free, not that anything short of stabbing Naruto to death would have done so.

At first, the blond kid had been rather easy to deal with. Even the adults who despised him for reasons they shouldn't have didn't have trouble getting Naruto to go to sleep or eat. All he did was sit around all day, spit, eat, poop, sleep, and laugh with a smile on his face as if he were happy to see even the sun rise.

Then he learned how to talk four months back and he hadn't shut up since. At first it was amusing, hearing some of the weirdest things that Naruto said. "I eat purple," was still one of my favorites after he'd gotten into the finger paint. Of course, that was one of his more lucid attempts at talking which didn't involve the traditional screeching that made nails on chalkboard seem appealing.

As soon as I exited the door, Gosu and his gang behind me, I immediately heard the screeching. It sounded rather whiny, meaning that he was throwing a tantrum. I marched around the side of the building and went straight passed Shishu and the other adult trying to calm Naruto down and moved to stand right in front of the crying blond.

It was sad, really, that I, at almost three years old, was the only adult capable of getting a crying kid to cooperate in an orphanage run by people who lived their entire lives dealing with children who didn't want to cooperate. Sad, but reality can be sad sometimes.

"Anba," Naruto wailed, "go away!" The blond tried to push me away from him, but I knocked his hand to the side. That only made the crying boy pull out the stops and unleash the screech. "I don't wanna go inside! Me no wanna! No!"

I just continued to stare at Naruto with a firm resolved look. Behind me I could practically feel the way that Gosu, his gang, and the adults were staring at my back. I swear, it's like they've never dealt with a whiny two year old tantrum before.

"No!" Naruto screamed.

I continued to stare.

"NO!" Naruto screeched.

Stare.

"N-no!" Naruto wailed.

Soul piercing stare.

Naruto's wails tapered off and he started to whimper. He looked up at me, almost pleadingly. I arched one of my eyebrows and extended my hand out to him. Slowly, hesitantly, Naruto reached out and grabbed my hand.

"It's time for dinner, Naruto," I said. "We can play some more tomorrow."

"Okay," Naruto said, his tantrum completely forgotten. He stepped out of the sand box and trudged toward the back door of the orphanage. Specks of sand scattered every step he took as the remnants sticking to him fell. When Naruto was back inside I turned and gave the people staring at me a look as if to ask them, 'what are you looking at?'

"Th-thank you, Anba-kun," Shishu said. I nodded and followed after Naruto, consciously ignoring the whispering behind my back. I knew what they were saying anyway. It was a mixture of awe of me for being able to control the 'demon' and disgust of me for being a 'demon lover'. Truth be told, if Naruto was a demon, then I'd like him anyway because he would be the gutsiest demon shinobi ever born and controlling him is easy, because he's just a two year old throwing a tantrum.

Every day, I exercised harder, ran faster, jumped higher, and pushed myself farther. I didn't always get put into time out once the adults realized what I was doing. Why they thought I was being an obstinate kid for so long, I don't know. Maybe it was my association with Naruto.

The days passed into weeks into months. When Naruto turned three, I found him visiting with none other than the Hokage. When I tried to approach, two ninja appeared out of nowhere and forbid me access to the room Naruto and the Hokage were talking in. As annoying as that was, I decided that I should just go wait outside. I wanted to practice using my chakra anyway.

That funny throbbing energy I felt flowing through me all those months ago was indeed my chakra. When I pushed it, pulled it, willed it to do what I wanted, it felt like a rush of power like nothing else. The first time I pushed chakra out of my body I hyperventilated myself into passing out because I thought I had pushed all of it out and I had inadvertently committed suicide. When I woke up, I was in my room and Shishu was there to scold me for being so foolish as to use chakra without supervision.

After that day, I experimented with my chakra all the time until I felt confident in my ability to push it out of my body in any amount I wanted. Today, I wanted to try pushing chakra into my feet and see if I could get it to stick to the wall of the orphanage. I walked outside and stood next to the wall. I lifted my foot and pushed it against the wooden siding before pushing chakra to the sole of my foot.

I heard the chakra, actually heard it, cause the wooden paneling to groan under the strain. I pulled my foot and it was like my foot weighted twenty pounds extra. I grinned and went to lift my other foot off of the ground to take the next step.

Now, before I continue, let me just say that when ninja walk up walls or trees or whatever other surface they're walking on that defies gravity, they are not, in fact, defying gravity. In actuality, the ninja are strengthening the muscles in their legs and back that will allow them to remain standing straight with chakra. Training in the wall walking exercise makes this strengthening a subconscious effort so that when an experience ninja walks or runs up a wall, it just appears like gravity has stopped working for them at that moment.

Unfortunately, I had no idea about this fact and immediately fell back to the ground. When I felt myself falling, my concentration faltered and my other foot released the wall as the chakra dispersed. I ended up on my back, staring up at the sky. It was a bright, sunny day to day. The sky was really blue and only a few clouds were present. It wasn't necessarily hot, since it was October the tenth, but it was still warm enough to wear shorts, which I was.

It is in this position that the Hokage found me when he opened the window and stuck his head out. Apparently, I'd made more noise than I thought I did when I fell. The Hokage looked down and saw me laying on my back. He grinned and said, "Naruto, I believe I've found your friend."

"Ehhh?!" Naruto's little two year old head stuck out of the window shortly thereafter as he looked down too. "Oy! Anba! What are you doin down there?"

"Trainin," I said simply.

"That's Anba, grampa," Naruto said. "He likes to train a lot. He's really cool."

That revelation made me stop to think about what I was hearing. I was cool? Naruto thought I was, at any rate. Since when had I gone from weird little kid to 'cool'? Even in my previous life, I was not 'cool'. Dorky, maybe, but not cool.

The Hokage smiled at Naruto and waved as he pulled back into the room. Naruto waved with a silly grin before he dove back in. I heaved a sigh and pushed myself back to my feet. I glared at the wall as if it were mocking me. Maybe running to start getting up the wall really is a better way of doing it.

So I ran at the wall and got one foot onto it before I had to push off and back flip. I had forgotten to push chakra to my feet. Well, try, try, and try again, as they say.

This time, when I ran at the wall, I pushed the amount of chakra to my feet that I remember applying the first time. I managed to get up five steps this time before I felt myself falling back again. I released my chakra and kicked off the wall so I could flip twice and land in a crouch.

My heart was pounding what felt like a million miles an hour. I'd just run up the wall! I wall walked! Ran! Whatever!

Grinning, I ran at the wall again. Pushing chakra out of my feet was harder than with my hands. I remember Story-Kakashi telling his genin team that if you can master tree walking, then theoretically, you have the chakra control necessary to master any jutsu. I know there are jutsu out there that require greater chakra control still, but it may as well be true. Pushing the precise amount of chakra out of my feet to stick to the wall without blowing the wall up beneath my feet or not sticking at all was hard. It felt like I was wearing bricks in my sandals when I ran up the wall and I felt heavier above my waist as gravity tried to pull me back down. I think the only reason I didn't fall back down onto my head is because I was running up the wall instead of walking. And it was fun to succeed so fantastically using chakra to actually do something for the first time.

I was grinning like an idiot and still taking shots at running at the wall when Naruto and the Hokage emerged from the front of the orphanage. I'd just jumped off of the wall from my sixth try, having gotten ten steps up the wall this time, when they rounded the corner of the building and I heard Naruto exclaim in wonder.

"Whoa!" Naruto shouted in that way two year olds shout overdramatically. "That's so awesome, Anba! Teach me! I wanna do it too!"

I was breathing hard from the exertion and grinning like an idiot as I turned to face Naruto and the Hokage. I bowed slightly to the Hokage, who nodded back to me. "Naruto, first you have to learn how to use chakra," I said.

"And who might I ask is teaching you how to use chakra, Anba-kun," the Hokage asked warmly. I had to do a double take when I looked at the Hokage because I swore there was a very calculating cold look in his eyes the first glance. It was gone when I looked the second time.

"No one is teaching me, Hokage," I said. "I'm teaching myself."

The Hokage smiled but I couldn't help noticing the twitch of his right eyebrow. Was he hiding his reactions or sending out false reactions? Considering that he was the Hokage, probably the second. But why hide your reaction to a three year old? Either it was an old habit of an old ninja or he didn't trust me. Maybe both. In any case, it appeared that the Hokage was pleased in some way.

"Ne, ne, Grampa!" Naruto shouted, tugging on the Hokage's sleeve. "Teach me how to be a ninja, grampa! I wanna be a ninja like Anba too!"

The Hokage smiled kindly as he looked down at Naruto and ruffled his blond hair. "If you really want to be a ninja, then you're going to have to work hard every day to get stronger. Look at Anba. He's been training every day."

"But Grampa!" Naruto whined. "Anba's been training forever! I wanna be a ninja now! Now! Now! Now!"

Naruto crossed his arms and made his angry pouty face. I struggled to control my face to keep from showing my amusement at Naruto. From the Hokage's reaction, whom was clearly amused, I gathered that he thought both my efforts to appear unamused and Naruto's attempt to pout were both very entertaining. I sighed in annoyance, though mostly at myself.

"Naruto," I said, "there are no shortcuts to being a ninja. If you don't work for it, then you'll never become a ninja. The best ninjas who ever lived had to train hard every day. And even when they get to be the best ever, they still train so that they can stay the best."

"Anba is correct, Naruto," the Hokage said. He laid one of his large hands on Naruto's head and smiled down sadly. Then, as if coming upon an idea, the Hokage lifted his head and hummed to himself. "I have an idea, Naruto. Why don't you and your friend Anba come with me to the Hokage Tower?" Naruto's head snapped around fast enough that I was wondering when it would fall off. His big blue eyes, if possible, were even bigger and tearing up. "That way you can see what it's like to be a ninja."

"Really?!" Naruto asked.

"Yes, Naruto, really," the Hokage said. He looked up at me and asked, "you'll come too, won't you Anba?"

I nodded. I was still feeling tired from running up the wall. I guess that I used up a lot of chakra, so I'd need time to get my energy back anyway. "Of course. But only if I can call you Old Man."

The Hokage threw back his head and laughed loudly. After several seconds, during which Naruto and I started to laugh as well, the Hokage patted me on the head as he pull himself back under control. "That will be fine, Anba. You may call me 'Old Man.' I am rather old, I believe, so the description is an apt one." I grinned sheepishly as I followed the Hokage and Naruto beyond the front gate of the orphanage.

"Can I call you 'Old Man' too, grampa?!" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Haha," the Hokage barked. "Yes, you may, Naruto. But don't forget, I am the Hokage. Don't be surprised if others think you're disrespecting me when you call me that. The same goes for you, Anba."

"But you said you're an old man, grampa, err… I mean, Old Man!"

"Yes, Naruto, I am an old man," the Hokage explained patiently. "But that doesn't mean that others don't respect me enough to not call me so. And some people think it's rude to call attention to their age. You shouldn't call people old just because they are."

"Eh?!" Naruto spun around and pointed at me. "Why are you being mean to Gram-Old Man?!"

"I asked permission," I said.

"And I said it was fine for you both to do so," the Hokage said. "And I'm the Hokage. So if I say you can call me Old Man, then it's okay."

"Wow!" Naruto said, once again in that overdramatic way two year olds speak. "You're the best Old Man Hokage ever!"

The Hokage chuckled lightly and rubbed Naruto's head affectionately. "Come, Naruto, Anba. We're almost there." The Hokage pointed to a tower down the road. Behind the tower stood the Hokage Mountain with four heads carved into it. As we walked, Naruto asked and the Hokage explained about the heads of the four Hokage who served Konoha over the years. He talked about his teachers, the First and Second Hokage and how the Fourth Hokage had saved Konoha from the evil Nine Tailed Demon Fox.

Naruto listened with rapt attention and I must admit that I too was enthralled with his story. The Third Hokage was, if anything, very qualified for the job. After serving as village leader for so long, even a rock would have picked up how to be a public speaker. I'll just say that the man could tell a hell of a story.

Once we arrived in his office, we got to watch as the Hokage did paper work. Naruto and I got into one of the supply cabinets when the Hokage had to go into a private meeting. The secretary outside scolded us after we made paintings on the wall. I still, to this day, think my rendition of the village in whiteout had to be worth something. It was a work of _art_! Maybe if it exploded…

At the end of the day, Naruto and I were with the Hokage in his office. The sun was going down and sent orange light through the window to light up the far wall. The Hokage was busy doing paperwork. Every so often Naruto would take a break from running around the room, pretending to be a ninja, to ask the Hokage a question. I was given a brush, some ink, and a scroll and let go nuts. That beauty, I'm thankful to say, has a place of honor in the village archives.

Naruto eventually took a seat on the small couch on the side of the room. Five minutes later, he was out and snoring up a storm. By this time, the sun had gone down. The light in the room came from what I believed was a light bulb screwed into the center of the ceiling with an ornate cover over it. It was hard to tell if it was a light bulb or some kind of seal work that glowed, at least from my position on the floor.

"Ahhh," the Hokage sighed as he sat back. "Anba."

I looked up from my 'artwork'. Seeing the Hokage make a 'come here' motion, I rolled up the scroll and stood. When I got close, the Hokage patted his leg and I hopped up.

"Naruto's a bundle of energy, wouldn't you say?" the Hokage asked.

I nodded. Where was this going? "Yes. He has limitless energy, though sometimes he just passes out and doesn't wake up till the next morning, like this."

The Hokage hummed in agreement. I then caught a glimpse of the scroll laid out across the Hokage's desk. At the time, I couldn't read, but after I did I learned that it was a report from the border of Fire and Lightning. One of the border patrols had come across an envoy from the Raikage asking for an audience with the Hokage to conduct treaty negotiations. My attention was drawn from the scroll on the desk when the Hokage grabbed my arm not too tight, but strong enough to ensure I had nowhere to run. The grip could have been interpreted as a safety measure to make sure I didn't fall.

But it quickly dawned on me that the Hokage was as close to a super human as one could get, even as old has he is. He would have no trouble catching me before I even tipped over. The Hokage had set up a trap for me and I'd walked right into it. I even sat right in his lap. He'd probably been testing me all day.

"Anba, do you mind if I ask you a question," the Hokage asked.

I nodded, not sure I could trust my voice to keep the rising fear from my voice. Was the Hokage going to kill me? Did he think I was some kind of enemy? I admit, I did remember being picked up and brought to the village by the fourth Hokage, but I was a baby. It'd be impossible to be some kind of plant at that age.

"You treat Naruto like a younger brother," the Hokage said. I glanced at Naruto's sleeping form as the Hokage continued speaking. "You also are training to use chakra. Just why is it you are doing these things? You're also clearly terrified at this moment. What are you afraid of?"

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. It didn't really work and my heart continued to thump like a raging drum in my chest. No doubt, the Hokage was reading my pulse with his hand on my arm as well.

"I… I…"

"Take your time, Anba."

I took another breath. "I remember the trip back to Konoha." Just for a millisecond, I felt the Hokage's hand tighten painfully on my arm. But then the pressure was gone.

"Go on."

"I remember everything," I said, "even when I'm asleep. I don't have any visual memory of it, but I can remember your conversation with Minato when you told him you were going to nominate him for the position of Hokage. I remember crying a lot. I remember being sent to the orphanage and every day of my stay there, even my sleep there." I hadn't taken my eyes off of Naruto for a moment. "He looks a lot like him."

"What was that?" This time the Hokage's hand did tighten.

"I can remember in vivid detail the man who brought me to Konoha," I said. "Naruto looks a lot like him. His eyes are wider apart, though, and his nose is blunter. His lips thicker and he's still just a little kid, so he doesn't have the adult skull structure he'll have later in life, but I'll bet that it'll be similar to… him, too."

"You speak as if you know who Naruto's father is," the Hokage said, his voice low. Even I could sense a warning when I heard it. But did it mean that the Hokage wanted me to speak aloud or to hold my tongue? Maybe a mixture of both.

"I just know who he looks like," I said. And just like that, the Hokage loosened his grip a little.

"You're very perceptive, Anba," the Hokage said. "Perhaps too perceptive."

Aw, crap. The Hokage was going to do away with me, or something. Well, if I was going to die, again, maybe I could ask the Hokage some of the questions that had been burning my mind ever since I arrived.

"What I don't understand," I said, as the Hokage raised his hand, "is if I can remember everything, why can't I remember who my parents are, or my time in the womb? Did I just get born out of thin air? Did my mother or father have green hair? Who was the one with amber eyes in their family? Why is the first thing I remember fire and the Fourth Hokage carrying me back to Konoha?"

"You don't know?"

I had a guess, at that point, that I was somehow summoned to this world from my old world. Talking about my old world would only lead to far too many problems, so I was going to avoid that. I assumed that it was the Iwa facility I heard Minato talking about while Biwako coddled me in my sleep that had been the cause for my arrival, but saying that I thought it was the people at some Iwa facility that brought me from my old world to this one would likely ensure my death. Claiming ignorance because I should be ignorant would save me a lot of trouble.

"No," I said. Now tears were falling down my cheeks. I don't mean to exaggerate, but I was terrified that this was the end for me at the time. "I remember Minato talking about destroying some Iwa Facility, but if that's where he found me, then why can't I remember it. Who were my parents? Why can't I remember anything before fire and… his face?"

The Hokage loosened his hold on my arm and said, "Anba, please calm down." I forced myself to take a deep breath and tried to control my sobbing. "I'm glad that you can remember so many things. You're one of the unique individuals in this world who has a photographic memory. That means you can remember everything you experience. And I'm glad that you're perceptive enough to figure out an SS-Class secret that no one else has figured out."

I took another deep breath as I felt relief wash through me. I wasn't going to be tortured to death.

"But you didn't answer my question," the Hokage continued. My breath hitched in my throat. "Why are you training so hard? Why are you so nice to Naruto? I believe I know why you're so afraid, but I'd still like you to say it out loud."

Was the Hokage trying to give me therapy?! Holy crap! Therapy Jutsu really did exist!

"I'm training," I said, hiccupping once, "so that I can get strong enough."

"Strong enough for what?"

"To find my family." It came out rather pathetically, which is probably what sold the Hokage. The truth is, I was pulling this out of my ass and hoping to God that the Hokage swallowed it.

"I see," the Hokage said. "And Naruto?"

"Everyone in the orphanage doesn't like him," I said indignantly. I sniffed loudly. "The adults don't like dealing with him and the other kids think he's a crybaby and a loser or something. It's pretty pathetic that I'm the only one who can get him to cooperate anymore. After a while… it sort of started to feel like I needed to watch out for him. Before Gosu, the head orphan was a real asshole that liked picking on the younger kids. I could fend for myself, but Naruto was too little. So I just protected him too cause he doesn't deserve to be treated that way. I even had to kick one of the adults in the shin when she tried to take Naruto's food away while he was throwing a tantrum. It wasn't his fault he was upset! The adults kept glaring at him, shaking their fingers, and yelling. _I_ wanted to cry and scream with Naruto. And I-"

"That's fine, Anba," the Hokage said. "I can see that being treated right means a lot to you."

"I don't like people who use their power against the weak," I said vehemently. I craned my neck to send my best three year old glare at the Old Man. "Having power means you have responsibility to use it for the good of those who are too weak to fend for themselves. Anyone who doesn't deserves what they get."

For a moment, the Hokage gave me an appraising look before he nodded. "I agree with you, Anba. In fact, one of the core beliefs in Konoha is that the strong protect the weak. I'd be a poor Hokage if I didn't agree with you."

I lowered my head and stared at my hands. I knew from the Naruto story that the Hokage had just lied to me. I had no doubt that _was_ part of Konoha's core beliefs, but I also knew that if nothing else, Root did prey on the weak. Not that I was supposed to know anything about that at this point.

"Anba, you never told me why you were afraid."

I blinked. I forgot about that. On top of that, I wasn't even afraid anymore. Had that little speech about bullies made me lose my fear?

"I was afraid you were going to kill me," I said quietly. For a moment, I thought that the Old Man hadn't heard me, but after that moment passed, I heard him chuckling.

"Really now?" the Old Man chortled. "You've got quite an imagination there, young man."

I grinned and laughed myself. Deep down, I know that I likely had come close to being killed. The Old Man had said I was _too perceptive_. Something about my sob story must have put the Old Man at ease. I wasn't going to screw around with that good will so I just went along with it.

"So does this mean that you're not angry with me?" I asked hesitantly. "Cause you grabbed my arm really tight."

"You're a smart young man," the Old Man said. "I was worried that you were lying to me. I would have been very angry with you if you had been, but I wouldn't have killed you. You are smart, but I think you over think things a bit too much."

Translation, I nearly killed you, but I like you so I'm no longer worried you are going to turn on Naruto or Konoha. Now you should stop thinking about it so I can wrap this up and go to sleep. Message received, Old Man.

"Yeah," I said with a short nod. "I do think a lot. If I'm going to be a ninja, then I gotta be smart, so I can figure out all the enemies before they can get me."

"Haha, yes of course," the Old Man lifted me from his lap and carried me to the couch. There he lifted Naruto, who immediately wrapped his arms around the Old Man's neck. With both of us in his arms, he left his office and began the trip back to the orphanage. "Anba, I want to ask a favor of you, from one old man to a young man."

"What is it?"

"Please keep watching out for Naruto," the Old Man said. "It would mean a lot to this old man if you would. I have no doubt that you will one day be a powerful ninja. Naruto too. But to get that far, I fear you will have a long and very hard road to travel. Would you do that for me?"

"Of course, Old Maaa-" I broke off as a yawn overtook me. Wow, I was exhausted. I was barely holding on to consciousness when I was laid to bed. Before I knew it, I was asleep. I remember hearing the Hokage talking to Shishu about Naruto's treatment, but she defended the staff of the orphanage and the other kids.

It's only because of my freak ability to record what I hear even when I'm asleep that I knew why the adults treated Naruto and I with a much colder shoulder after that night. The Hokage hadn't liked when he heard that Naruto wasn't being treated well, and had said something about it. Rather than make our lives easier, it only increased the pressure on us. I don't fault the Old Man for speaking up, I would have too, but you'd think the adults would respect the Hokage's orders better than this.

I couldn't go out and train anymore and Naruto began to get picked on by more than just kids. The adults seemed to get some sick pleasure out of punishing Naruto for no reason at all. And since he's just a little kid, Naruto couldn't really do anything to stop them. I tried to help, protecting Naruto as much as possible by staying near him as much as possible. It seemed the others in the building feared me for some reason. Maybe they thought I'd sic the 'demon' on them or some other stupid idea like that.

Despite my best efforts, though, I always seemed to get outsmarted every so often and separated from Naruto. When I'd go to find him, he'd be alone, but just that much more quite than before. He seemed to want to say something, but was too terrified to open his mouth. It didn't take a genius to know the others in the orphanage were threatening him with something. I could only guess what at the time.

Two months into this new regime of torture, ninjas came. They collected all of our things, mine and Naruto's, and took us away from the orphanage. I looked back at the building as it vanished into the distance and smiled when the other kids were being taken away from it as well. And then the adults were taken out, though they were taken out with their hands bound together.

I smiled as I put two and two together. Maybe our torment would end now. At the very least, we wouldn't have to live with complete monsters watching over us every day, which was a step up. That day marked the beginning of my independence in Konoha.

* * *

A/N: So here was, I believe, my first attempt at a SI that had a viable, in story reason to exist. No mystical bullshit about reincarnation or anything like that, just pure human hubris and corrupt science at work. Granted, there is still the mystical bullshit of Chakra involved, but meh, in universe consistency. It didn't take long before I realized I was setting up something of a Gary Stu character, which kind of put a dampener on story advancement. But I still have a couple chapters from this lying around, so look forward to them.

Like the idea? Hate it? Feel inspired by it? Let me know in a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	19. He Whom Saved The World 1

**He Whom Saved The World**

By I.K.A. Valian

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Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Chapter: _You Fell Off the Yellow Brick Road_

* * *

The Hokage looked up from the letter he was writing just as several people walked into his office. He could hear them long before they arrived at his door. He had gained these auditory skill decades before and it had served him well off the battlefield as well as it had on it. Generally, he didn't like it when his own ninja were loud enough to be heard over two minutes before they arrived at his office door. But since this was Genin Team Seven, that concern might as well have been about how blue the sky was or how bright the sun could get.

After all, Uzumaki Naruto wasn't known for being quiet. Or stealthy for that matter. The only known times that didn't prove true was when a prank of epic proportions was being set up.

"-ay this could be that stupid cat mission. These D-Rank missions are stupid. I bet it's another C-Rank! Besides, why would the Old Man want to meet us up here instead of in the Mission's Office downstairs if this was just another lame mission?"

"You are correct, Naruto," the old Hokage said. His gravelly voice drew the attention of Team Seven as they lined up in front of his desk. Though the tone of his voice was grave, a tone he'd grown into in his old age, he offset this with a gentle smile that he'd learned not too long after his grandson, Konohamaru was born. "It is a C-rank."

"Hah, told ya!" Naruto crowed at Sakura who huffed and stuck her tongue at Naruto. The blond boy responded by grinning broadly, which only seemed to incense the Haruno girl further. Fortunately, she was more mature than she was letting on because she didn't act on her obvious impulse to smash her fist into Naruto's head.

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi, the tall, silver-haired man standing behind the three genin quietly planted his hands on Sakura and Naruto's heads, causing the two kids to freeze. With only one eye visible, because his left eye was covered by his Leaf Forehead protector slanted sideways, the man sent an apologetic look at the Hokage. "Please forgive my foolish students. Also, my insolence. We only returned from Wave last week. I don't think my team is prepared mentally for anything but D-Rank missions at this time."

It was at this declaration that the third Genin of Team Seven sent a withering glare at the leader of the team. Kakashi closed his sole visible eye, where upon his eyelid curved upward like a smile, as he moved his hand from the golden blond locks of Naruto to ruffle the midnight black mane of Uchiha Sasuke. The move effectively diffused whatever cool, confident, threatening look the boy was attempting to send the leader of his team.

The Hokage remained silent as he stared at the team in front of him. He was silent for so long that Naruto began to fidget. "Correct me if I'm wrong," the Hokage said, suddenly breaking the silence and causing Naruto and Sakura to jump slightly. Inwardly smiling, the Hokage continued. "I believe your report said that after defeating Zabuza of the Mist and his apprentice, you spent two and a half weeks basically resting while the Great Naruto Bridge was completed."

"They named the bridge after m-" Naruto's outburst was silenced by a Kakashi's hand falling onto his head again.

"That would be mostly correct, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said, "however, it would be disingenuous to say we only rested. The genin here maintained a patrol and set up a perimeter every day."

"I see," the Hokage said, though it was clear from the look that he was giving Kakashi that he wasn't buying the eye smiling man's explanation.

"I can't believe they named the bridge after me," Naruto muttered, a look of awe on his face as he seemed to be studying the floor. "That's so totally awesome!"

"Why would they name the bridge after Naruto?" Sakura wondered aloud. "Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei did all the work. And Zabuza was the one who actually killed Gato. Then the Villagers ran off the bandits that Gato had hired. Naruto didn't really do anything but nearly get Sasuke killed."

"Hn," Sasuke agreed, eying the blond as he visibly grew more agitated.

"I did too do stuff!" Naruto shouted.

"As you can see, Hokage sama," Kakashi said, "they are not ready for another mission of that caliber quite yet."

"Then it is fortunate that I'm only sending you on a C-Rank instead of a mislabeled mission such as Wave," the Hokage said. Naruto and Sasuke glared at each other, but even then, they didn't seem to be too standoffish because they both knew that they'd be getting another 'real' mission. Sakura, unlike her teammates, did not seem to be that excited, but after a single glance at Sasuke, it was clear she wasn't going to voice any opposition.

Kakashi sighed when he realized he wasn't going to get his way on this. He'd been hoping to keep the team in the village for the next three weeks until the beginning of the Chunin Exams. But it would appear he might not be able to enter them this time after all. With an internal shrug, Kakashi set his desire to enter his team aside. There was another exam six months from now, so he wasn't too put out about it.

"The reason I've asked you to come to my office instead of giving you the mission downstairs," the Hokage said, gaining everyone's attention, "is because the information is for your team only. There was an explosion in the middle of the forest on the coast of the Land of Fire four days ago."

"How large?" Kakashi asked, his voice tight and his back straighter than it had be moments before.

"Massive," the Hokage said. He noticed how the genin were beginning to sweat a little. Well, Sakura was beginning to sweat. Sasuke looked, if possible, pleased about the level of danger like a predator preparing to hunt. Naruto was shaking where he stood, but it was clearly from excitement because the boy's blue eyes were shining brightly. "Witnesses from a village five miles away reported seeing a ball of light that lit up the night sky like the sun for a full minute. And then they were all knocked to the ground by a shockwave of some sort. I already had an ANBU team investigate, but there was no sign of anyone having been in the area or proof that there was a secret base. Your mission is to go to ground zero and investigate from there to the surrounding villages for any information. The ANBU team from the initial investigation will meet you there and direct you further. You are not being sent out to fight anyone, just gather information. Do you understand your orders?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Sakura stated with a soft bow.

Sasuke gave a sharp nod.

"You bet, Old Man," Naruto said with a grin and thumbs up. "You can count of me to find out whoever is behind this."

The Hokage smiled. "Be sure not to get into any trouble this time, Naruto. This is just an investigative mission with very little danger. But the area is known for its bandit and pirate activity, so all of you keep your guards up."

"You got it!" Naruto shouted.

"Meet at the south gate in fifteen minutes," Kakashi said. "Pack for two weeks."

"Yes, Sensei," chorused the three Genin.

* * *

The journey to the coastline of the Land of Fire took all of two days. It was much faster than the week long trip to Wave, which was farther away as well as the fact that they had to walk at a slow, civilian pace instead of tree hoping at speeds much faster. There were a few mis-steps as the Genin learned to apply their Tree-Walking skills to running across tree branches without ever setting foot on the ground, but before long all three were jumping from branch to branch while dodging and weaving through even more branches. It was little wonder why others not from the Land of Fire called Konoha Shinobi 'Tree Huggers'. Of course, there were the few odd ones in the village who literally hugged trees, but they were quite few in number, very well hidden, and not spoken of in polite society.

Team Seven knew they had arrived on the scene when the forest suddenly stopped. Sakura caught herself on the last branch, sticking to it without much trouble, much as Kakashi and Sasuke. Naruto, unfortunately, wasn't fast enough to stick himself on the last branch.

With a terrified shout, "Aaahh!" Naruto flew screaming into the open air. His screams died when he landed in the branches of one of the downed trees. It took a few seconds for Naruto to pull his composure back together, and when he did, he took in his surroundings. The ground wasn't far below him, which was odd since he was sitting in what he could tell was the upper portion of a tree.

"Oh I see," the blond said as he continued to study the area, "the trees fell over from the explosion."

Naruto grunted as he heaved himself to his feet on the thin branch and began to climb out of the nest he'd created upon his landing. When he was finally clear of the branches, Naruto saw that a group of three masked ninja, ANBU, were standing on the edge of the flattened forest next to his team. Taking his time, Naruto made his way back to his team just in time to hear the ANBU finish what they were saying.

"-an higher levels of moisture in the air, there are no signs of what could have caused the explosion or the shock waves."

"Very well," Kakashi said. He tossed a scroll to one of the ANBU, a man wearing a bear mask, and said, "We'll handle the follow up. Here's your next set of orders."

The ANBU nodded and left so fast that Naruto had to wonder if they'd been there in the first place. He hoped he could be that fast some day. Or faster. Definitely faster.

"Alright team," Kakashi said, gaining everyone's attention. "Since nothing was found at the epicenter of the explosion, I believe we should head to the nearest village and start asking around for anything that could explain what happened."

"On it!" Naruto shouted before anyone could say anything. And then he was running back into the forest. It took a full five minutes before the blond reappeared, a sheepish grin on his face. "Uh… where is the village again?"

"You shouldn't run off before you know where you're going, Naruto," Kakashi chided. "Try to remember that in the future."

"Idiot," Sasuke added.

"What'd you call me, Bastard?!"

"Don't call Sasuke a bastard, you idiot!"

Kakashi slumped a little and started to walk away at a sedate pace. And here he was hoping that after what they'd experienced on the Wave Mission, they'd be a more cohesive group. But it seems like all that bonding work had gone out the window as soon as they'd returned to Konoha. Maybe it was a good idea to wait another six months to enter them in the Chunin Exams after all.

* * *

"The explosion was huge!" said the slightly overweight sailor. "And it was-" His arms, which he used to illustrate the size of the explosion, were thick with corded muscles, and his back looked like it could break a tree in half if the tree were used as a weapon. "And then it was like a sucker punch, only over my whole body-" The old sailor's impressive physique stopped there, because his legs were almost skinnier than Sakura and he had a beer gut to rival his massive arms. She was instantly glad she'd chosen to be a kunoichi instead of anything else she could have chosen to become. And the way he was leering at her as he talked sent shivers up her spine. So focused was she on the man's grotesque mixture of body types and the looks he was giving her that she missed most of what he said about the explosion.

"T-thanks for the information," she said as politely as she could. Then she started walking as fast as she could without trying to seem rude. The faster she was away from that guy, the better she felt. She never noticed a second man walk out of the shadows of the building she had been standing next to and smack the man she had been talking to upside the head.

* * *

"And the explosion destroyed some of our ships near the coast at the time, out for a night time fishing," explained the waitress as the young blond ninja in front of her at the bar ate up the fish stew she'd just produced for him.

"Uh-huh," Naruto grunted in between bites to assure the woman he was still listening instead of wishing this was ramen and not just stew.

"A couple of people died, but the ones that survived said that it was like one of you ninja had shown up and used one of your fire jutsu things, only it was bigger than the mountains and brighter than the noon sun."

Naruto slurped down the last of the broth, startling the waitress with how fast he'd eaten and practically cleaned the bowl of the thick stew that was in it just under a minute ago. When he put the bowl down, Naruto let out a content sigh. Then he turned to the waitress and said, "Thank you for the meal and the information. But I already know about the explosion. Was there anything else strange that happened?"

"Well," the waitress bit her lip and pushed her shoulder length brown hair behind one ear. "There were the lights coming from the old island ruins. But no one goes there except for the old sailors down by the bay."

Naruto frowned, but in his gut, knew that he'd caught onto something. "Lights? What kind of lights?"

"You know," the lady said as she collected Naruto's bowl and began to quickly retreat into the small food bar's kitchen. "Lights. Like what you ninja throw at each other when you're flying through the sky and stuff."

Naruto frowned. Ninja didn't fly and shoot lights at each other. At least, if they did, he would have heard about it by now. Not to mention, he'd have flying down flat. Faster than Sasuke anyway. And then Sakura would be gushing over how cool he was for a change.

Naruto dropped a few Ryu onto the counter to pay for the meal and took off for the meeting spot by the docks. He didn't notice the small glare that came from the waitress as she snatched up the money and shoved it into her pocket. She pulled her hand out of her pocket and glared further at the small bottle with a skull and cross bones printed on it.

With a frustrated grunt, the waitress tossed the bottle into the trash.

* * *

Sasuke stood at the end of the long row of docks built up on the bay. The village was rather small, but had the advantage of a rocky barrier just off shore. Perhaps it was a former island destroyed by massive storms in the past, but all that remained were a line of rocks. This let the village build up a long series of docks that served the fishing village well.

The Uchiha also had little doubt that a small, out of the way, village such as this was a port for illegal trade and pirates. After all, why would a fishing village this small need docks that could handle large, commercial transport ships? Not to mention, the Hokage did warn them about bandits and pirates in the area. The image of a small fishing village was quite obviously not the true face of this place.

Not that it mattered to Sasuke. What mattered was getting the information his team needed so they could return to Konoha sooner rather than later. Plus, he didn't like the shady look of this run down area. The wood that composed the docks looked strong enough, but the buildings appeared not to have been maintained well for at least fifty years. Not to mention, he had noticed several shady people slinking in the shadows of these old buildings. They moved clumsily, as if they thought a trained ninja of the Uchiha Clan would fail to notice them if they didn't go into the light.

Still, he was confident he was more than a match for any of them. It was why he was still on the docks now, waiting and watching. It was perhaps not wise to follow his gut, since his instincts weren't always correct, but sometimes his hunches worked out. And his hunch right now was telling him that if he stood here and waited, something good would happen.

He didn't need to wait long. The sun was slowly diving beneath the horizon when it happened. Those idiots hiding in the shadows made their move.

"Got ya!" Two arms attempted to grab Sasuke from behind, but all they got for their trouble was a log and a face full of smoke. "Wh-wh-what the hell is going on?"

"Shit, the kid's disappeared!" shouted the burly man's partner. Clearly, the two men that had tried to kidnap Sasuke were bandits. From his new position on top of the roof of one of the buildings, he could see the crappy swords they carried around like it made them some kind of badass. A disdainful sneer crossed his lips as he watched and waited.

"Damn it, those ninja are sticking their noses where they don't belong," said the man who'd tried to grab Sasuke. "The boss ain't going to be happy about this. He wanted one of them to interrogate before the shipment comes in tonight."

"Whatever, let's go see if any of the others caught one of 'em."

"Yeah."

Sasuke hid in the shadows much better than the two brutes walking down the alley did. It was probably why they didn't notice him following them as they left the docks and made toward the village. The Uchiha smirked while tailed the lead he'd picked up. Sometimes gut instinct worked out well for him.

* * *

Kakashi, initially, had wanted to go into this village, take a few statements, and leave. After all, if the ANBU team couldn't find anything, it was unlikely that he'd find anything. Even if he knew he was better at finding things that wanted to remain hidden than the average ANBU, he really didn't want to spend the energy here if he didn't have to. Even if the Hokage was right about having nearly three weeks to recover from the Wave Mission, his body still ached in places. Thank goodness Gai wasn't here, or he'd never hear the end of how much of his "YOUTH" he was wasting.

Unfortunately for Kakashi, his hopes of a quick mission were dashed when he noticed the shady looks he and his team were getting, as well as the way that the village appeared to be on lock down. Not to mention that the only visible ships were only three docked. No shipping village worth their salt would shut down during the day, let alone only have three ships. This was obviously _not_ a fishing village.

So, in order to figure out what was really going on, Kakashi sent his team in three different directions before he vanished between two buildings. It didn't take him long to find the bandits hiding in the shadows. Interestingly enough, he found them coordinating their efforts in a fashion that didn't speak to a random raid of the town.

Someone, Kakashi reasoned, was pulling the strings behind the scenes. Intent on finding out who and where, Kakashi picked his favorite pair of bandits. He named them Fred and Doink, and followed them for the rest of the day.

* * *

Naruto groaned as he waited by the docks. The sun was almost below the horizon, and while it looked pretty, he was damn tired, hungry and annoyed. Where was his team?! Where was their sensei? Sure, Kakashi was late, but never this late. Kakashi aside, Sakura was never late and Sasuke seemed to always arrive before everyone else.

His team wasn't the only thing bothering him. After a short bout of gas, which he figured was from the crappy fish stew he'd eaten, he began to notice that this village wasn't like the one in Wave. That village had nice, if extremely poor, people in it. The people in this village all seemed like they wanted to stab him in the back.

It was a feeling he'd gotten used to in Konoha, but not one he'd ever experienced beyond the great walls around his home. He also got the feeling that these guys didn't want to stab him because of the fox, so it was actually Uzumaki Naruto they wanted to stab. On the one hand, that sort of made the indigestion a little better because they wanted to stab Naruto for Naruto. On the other hand, he really didn't wish to be stabbed. The needles Haku used were a pain in the ass and pulling on the Fox was just… No.

"Eeek!"

Naruto spun around on the spot. "That was Sakura!" Naruto shouted as he made to take off in the direction he'd heard the scream. Then the lesson he learned that morning at the edge of the blast zone came back to him. "Know where you're going, right," Naruto admonished himself. He brought his hands together in what was becoming his favorite hand-sign. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Five more Naruto appeared beside him. They all took off in a different direction while Naruto ran toward where he thought he heard the voice from. It was a good idea he had done this because as he was nearing the center of the small village, he suddenly recalled jumping down into an alley where two men were holding Sakura against a wall.

Pushing a hand against his head to try and ward off the headache forming, Naruto turned and sprinted into the space between the nearest buildings. It didn't take him long to find the place where his clone had been. Sakura's headband was still lying on the ground, but Sakura wasn't anywhere to be found. Moments later all of his clones appeared, all of them looking for a fight, but only finding the original holding Sakura's headband and frowning. Quickly enough, the clones started searching the area for any clues.

"Boss, I found tracks," one of the clones said.

Naruto jogged over to the clone and grinned. There was a very obvious footprint that belonged to Sakura. Nodding to himself, Naruto said, "They took her to the docks. Let's go!"

"Right!" the clones all shouted.

* * *

One minute Sakura had been making her way toward the meeting place at the docks. The next, she was being dragged into the spaces between the buildings. She screamed and struggled. She felt her headband get knocked off during the fight and then the weight of the two men holding her against the wall pushed the fight out of her.

She was a kunoichi of Konoha and here she was being overpowered by two ugly, hideous men who couldn't even use chakra. The immediate and total terror she felt right at that moment was overwhelming and served to paralyze her. The two bandits seemed to take this as a sign of submission.

However before they could do more than leer at her, a cry of "Sakura!" rang through the air. Sakura watched as Naruto dropped from the building above and landed a dropkick perfectly on one of the bandit's heads. The blow was enough to knock the man to the ground and loose the hold he had on Sakura.

As the other bandit moved toward Naruto, he turned to her and shouted, "Sakura run!"

The command spurred the kunoichi into action and she ran out of the alley. The bandit feigned a punch at the Naruto clone but ended the clone's life by jamming his leg into the clone's guts. After that, he helped his partner up off of the ground and both of them took off after the girl.

Sakura ran blindly down the alleys, her training forgotten in the blind panic that now consumed her. She ran, and ran, and ran. Finally, she emerged from the back alleys onto the docks, where she found a boat tied. Without thinking, she ran for the boat and jumped in. There she hid herself under a tarp and tried to calm her breathing down.

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A/N: And that's as far as I'd gotten on this little piece.

Read it!

Review it!

~I.K.A. Valian


	20. A Voice in My Head 3

**A Voice in My Head**

By I.K.A. Valian

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! Damn it!

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 _A Few Suggestions_

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Naruto stood in the middle of a field. He was continually punching and kicking in no real pattern. Just when his movements slowed down by half and it looked like he was going to stop from exhaustion, Naruto grimaced. He growled. He snarled. And then his kicking and punching picked up again to just a little faster than before with just a little more force.

To the young pale-eyed girl watching Naruto training in the park, it was like watching someone throw more tinder onto a roaring fire. She could only stand there, hidden behind a tree, and feel the ache deep in her chest as she wished with all her might that she could be that strong, even if she never thought it could happen.

Naruto and her were alike, in that they both wanted to be acknowledged, to be seen for who they really were. But that just wasn't how the world worked. Her father and the rest of her family would always look down on her and eventually she would be put into the Branch House of the Hyuuga Clan. Naruto, on the other hand… Naruto she believed in. She saw him for who he was and she knew that he had the courage and the strength to make people believe in him.

They had different destinies and no matter how much she wished it wasn't so, that was how it was. That was how the world worked. It was like her cousin said all the time, it was fate.

 _Fate_ was why she screamed, punched, and fainted when an orange wearing blond dropped from the tree right next to her.

* * *

Naruto rubbed his eye, which he was sure was swelling shut and just plain hurt otherwise, as he tried to move his quiet, and a little weird, classmate into a more comfortable sitting position against the tree she was standing next to. He hadn't meant to startle her, so he wasn't really surprised she had punched him. Ninja had to be ready to do crazy awesome things like that to people who tried to get the jump on them.

But then Hinata fainted. He was completely confused because any ninja who fainted like that would probably be captured or killed by the bad guys. Not cool at all.

"I don't get it," Naruto said. "She punched me and then she fainted. What did I do? Are you sure she fainted? I still think she might be sick or something and we should take her to the hospital."

" _Naruto, I'm positive she fainted. Give her a few minutes and she'll wake up._ "

Naruto sighed and rubbed his eye again. It was definitely swelling. It wasn't swollen shut, but it felt like his eyes was going to pop out of his head or just explode.

"Wow… who knew Hinata could hit like that," Naruto said. "I never really saw her hit anyone in class. But she's always been kind of weird and never really fights back very much."

" _You shouldn't judge a book by its cover_."

"Huh? What book?"

" _Sorry, no book. It's a saying that means you shouldn't assume what you see on the outside is true about something on the inside. For a book, if the cover is ugly, that doesn't necessarily mean that the story inside is bad._ "

"Oh, I get it," Naruto said. He scratched his head in thought. "So, wait. Maybe I don't. Does that mean that if there's a book that has this awesome cover that totally cool and makes me want to read it, it could have a really horrible story inside it that involves people throwing good ramen into the trash?"

" _Pretty much. Same thing applies to people. And especially ninja. Ninja are supposed to masters of deception, after all. Now, you and your classmates are still young so I doubt anyone has mastered it in your age group, but the older ninjas rarely show their true selves. Even still, young ninja in training also have secrets and hidden desires that even they may not be aware of._ "

"Uh…" Naruto pulled his finger out of his nose and rubbed it clean on his jacket. "You done?"

" _Haha, yeah. Just don't be surprised when people can do things you didn't think they could._ "

"Got it," Naruto said with a fist pump. "I'll never let anyone get the drop on me again. If they do, I'll just train hard enough so that they can't."

" _For now, that's good enough. I'll have more to add to that, if we continue the mentorship in three and a half months._ "

"There's more?" Naruto groaned. "Why can't all this stuff be easy? You know, like punch and kick and stuff. That's easy. All this thinking and stuff makes my head hurt. And it makes me hungry too!"

" _Becoming a strong ninja isn't easy, Naruto. If you really can't deal with this, then you should quit right now._ "

"Hah! No way am I quitting!" Naruto crossed his arms and nodded, mostly to himself. "I don't care what you throw at me, I'll take it and throw it back at you ten times over!"

" _Then you should stop complaining about your head and empty stomach. Complaining is just as bad and as useless as sitting there and crying about it._ "

"Grr… I'm not a crybaby!"

"N-Naruto-kun?"

"Oh hey, Hinata! Are you okay? You fainted and I… What's wrong Hinata?! You went all red in the… Hinata? Hinata!"

" _Take it easy, she just fainted again._ "

"Are you _sure_ there isn't something wrong with her?" Naruto asked. "This can't be normal."

" _Perhaps she needs some food._ "

"Hmm… yeah! I passed out when I didn't eat enough before too!" Naruto quickly manhandled Hinata until she was riding on his back. Then he took off into town, toward the only food stall he knew that had the best food ever. Ichiraku.

* * *

When she woke up for the second time, it was a gradual awakening. The first thing she became aware of was the smell of soup. It wasn't a bad smell at all, far from it. In fact, she instantly recognized it as the smell of ramen. Specifically, Ichiraku ramen. She'd memorized the smell long ago while stalking…. err, shadowing- no, following- no, not that either… watching, yes, watching Naruto.

The first time she woke up, the sight of Naruto with a puffy right eye proved that her memories of punching him in the face were not, in any way, a nightmare. When he started talking, she had felt the temperature quickly rising around her. That he actually cared about if she was okay or not, pushed her over the edge and the darkness swallowed her again.

Now, contrary to what many thought of her, even her own father, Hyuuga Hinata was not stupid. Weak willed, overly cautious, and a bit too gentle for ninja work, perhaps, but stupid in no way, shape, or form. That she woke up smelling Ichiraku ramen with her face gently resting upon something soft, but hard like a cloth covered counter top, and that she could easily hear Naruto rambling on about his training efforts in the park after class, it wasn't hard for her to piece together what had happened.

" _Naruto-kun carried me to Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto-kun had to carry me. Naruto-kun held me. Naruto-kun didn't leave me behind in the park. Naruto-kun held me. Naruto-kun saw me pass out two times in a row..._ "

That last thought stopped Hinata's train of thinking. A wave of embarrassment washed through her and it was all she could do to stop from fainting again. The embarrassment was quickly replaced by a deep seated feeling of self loathing.

" _Naruto-kun probably thinks the worst of me now._ "

It was with this thought that she opened her eyes and sat up. What she saw was not what she was expecting. Naruto had, she counted, his seventh bowl in front of his face as he drank the remnants of the soup. The cook and his daughter, Teuchi and Ayame respectively, noted her awakening and smiled at her.

"Ah, Hyuuga-sama," Ayama said. Hinata had memorized her and her father's names from all of her time watching the blond. Watching was a safe word, wasn't it? "I see you have finally awoken. When Naruto carried you in here, I thought for a moment that you'd been hurt. Thank goodness it was just a fainting spell."

As soon as Ayame finished speaking, a bowl was unceremoniously placed on the counter in front of Hinata by Teuchi. It was still warm, but it didn't feel scalding hot. Just right.

"This is on the house," Teuchi said. "You must be starving after such a long day of learning."

All of this took place within the fifty seconds it took for Naruto to finish downing the ramen broth. He let out a satisfied sigh as he lowered the bowl and placed it on the pile next to him. He grinned and was about to belch, it was clear, but something stopped him and he swallowed, hard. It looked painful.

"That hit the spot, Old Man," Naruto said with some effort after the laboriously aborted burp. "Thanks! Your ramen is the best ever!"

"Hahaha, I'm so glad you like it, Naruto," Teuchi said. "It's because you love ramen so much that you are my favorite _and_ best customer!"

"Well of course!" Naruto stood and threw his fist high into the air. "Nothing is as awesome as ramen! And Ichiraku ramen is the best ramen there is!"

"Naruto," Ayame said, her voice annoyed. She had a soup ladle and was polishing it, almost menacingly, with a cloth. "Have some manners. Stop ignoring your friend."

Naruto paled a little and then was bowing to Hinata. "Sorry Hinata-chan. I didn't mean to ignore you."

"N-Naruto-kun…" she stuttered. "I-It's alright."

Naruto quickly took his seat again and grinned his megawatt beaming grin at her. The warmth that filled her at that moment drove away the fear of Naruto's bad opinion in an instant. He truly was incredibly strong and it only hurt more knowing she would never be so. Yet, at the same time, being this close to him, knowing how hard he worked and how much they both understood what it was like to want recognition, she didn't feel jealous at all. She didn't even feel intimidated or scared.

She just felt, dare she think it, happy? No. Content. Not happy. She wasn't sure what happiness was and had no way of finding out. No, she was content to be near to someone so full of light like Naruto was.

"Ne, Hinata-chan," Naruto said. "You gonna eat that?"

Hinata blinked twice and then remembered the bowl of slightly cooled ramen in front of her. She was about to shove it over to Naruto, knowing he'd really appreciate it, and perhaps her a little more. But before she could, her stomach rumbled and growled like a beast ready to devour its meal.

She could practically feel her face light up as she blushed. Naruto's grin, if possible, got bigger. "Never mind," he said. "I think you should keep it. I already ate my fill anyway. I just didn't want to see good ramen go to waste. But if you're that hungry, then I don't have to worry about it."

She tried to nod, but it came out more as a jerk of her head. Her embarrassment seemed to be getting in the way of her movements. Slowly, like she was under some kind of paralysis jutsu or poison, she picked up a pair of chopsticks and dug into the meal.

After the first bite, the wooden movements were pushed to the side as hunger took control from embarrassment. The flavor of the soup made her tongue tingle without scorching her taste buds. It was like she was experiencing a dance of flavors on her tongue. It was over far too soon as she ran out of soup and blinked when she realized that she was holding the large bowl up in front of her just like Naruto had moments before.

Embarrassment punched hunger in the face and took back control. Hunger was full of some of the most divine tasting stuff it had ever experienced and took the blow so it could roll over and fall asleep in a happy food coma. Hinata's face heated up again, but her stomach felt good and full. It was a good feeling.

"Wow, Hinata," Naruto said. "I didn't know you liked ramen so much! We should come here more often."

"N-Naruto-kun?"

"Uh.. I mean…" Naruto scratched his head and laughed weakly. A quick glance at Ayame, who was handling that ladle like a kenjutsu master would a sword, caused Naruto to shiver. "I mean, that is if you want to come here to eat with me."

"Yes!" The words were out before she could realize what she'd said. It was an offer she'd never refuse, simply because it meant she'd get to spend more time in the awesome company of the one who was known as Uzumaki Naruto. The ramen was also fantastic, but paled in comparison. What was there to compare, anyway?

Naruto grinned his happy grin. She smiled a little back, herself, though it was small. Maybe this was happiness?

"Hinata-sama!"

Hinata jerked when she heard her name barked out like that. Just like that, whatever warmth she was feeling vanished and was replaced by cold, creeping dread. She felt herself stiffen involuntarily as she turned around to look at her cousin. The young man was glaring at her and she knew why, even if she couldn't exactly remember everything from back then clearly. He blamed her for his father's death and, really, he was right. If she'd been stronger, like a proper clan heiress, maybe she could have defended herself.

Maybe, but now it was too late. His father, her uncle, was dead. And it was her fault.

"Neji," she said, acknowledging him.

"Come, it is time to return to the compound," Neji said. His own pale eyes held nothing but anger and hatred for whatever he looked at. That he glanced dismissively at everything around her, including Naruto made her blood boil like nothing else. But what could she do, she wasn't strong and he was. Without a word, Neji turned and started walking.

She stood from her seat and made a short bow to Naruto. "T-Thank you for w-watching out f-for me, N-Naruto-kun."

Before he could reply, she turned and ran off to follow her cousin.

* * *

Naruto was quiet when he arrived at his apartment. As he slumped into bed, his night cap snugly fit onto his wild blond locks, he groaned. He just couldn't the look out of his head. The look that the other Hyuuga had given to Hinata. She'd called him Neji and it seemed like she knew him, but it was clear to Naruto that she didn't like him very much. And the way he bossed her around was just rude and it made him angry.

But the thing that stood out about Neji was the look in his eyes. The look that everyone but a very few people in the village looked at him with. That cold and ugly hatred that would freeze him to the bone if he let it. His smile was as much as a defense against the cold as it was to make sure the people giving him that look didn't know how much pain he was in. He liked to think it was his way of following shinobi rule twenty-five, never show emotions. Sure, he was smiling, but it wasn't what he was really feeling.

"Heh," Naruto chuckled with a grin, "I guess I'm like a book with a weird cover too."

The reason Neji's cold gaze was bothering him so much was because, like Sasuke, Neji wasn't directing it at him. No, Naruto seemed to be more of an annoyance, like a bug or something. Rather, the look of cold hatred was focused on Hinata. Hinata!

"Why would anyone use _that_ look on Hinata?" Naruto mused aloud. He was still wide awake, despite the late hour. His mind simply refused to stop playing the short encounter with Hyuuga Neji. "She's got to be one of the nicest people ever! Yeah, she's a little weird, but so what? It's not like she pranks anyone or… is mean… or anything stupid like I do! She's smart too, not like me. So why was he looking at her like that?"

" _They're both Hyuuga, so maybe it's some family fight or something?_ "

"That's not how anyone should ever look at family," Naruto said firmly. "That's how people look at me and if I had a family, I'd never look at them with those eyes. Just thinking about it pisses me off!"

" _I know you won't like this idea, but after the past two weeks, I don't believe you are advancing as fast as you are capable of._ "

"Huh?" Naruto frowned and sat up a little. "What do you mean? What more could I do? I'm training like crazy! Heck, I'm way stronger now that I was a week ago!"

" _That's true. I'm not saying it's not working, just that it's not working fast enough._ "

"Why? Why do I have to get stronger faster?"

" _Sorry, rule two. I can't tell you._ "

"Grrr, why not?! You and your stupid rules! If you just-"

" _Are you complaining like a crybaby again?_ "

"I'm not a crybaby!"

" _Complaining about something that isn't going to change, won't change it._ "

"I know that, but so what!"

" _I thought you swore to never cry again. I guess if you don't get your way, now you complain instead of crying._ "

"Damn it! Shut up!"

" _Look, Naruto, I don't really care if you complain or cry or whatever. I'm simply stating an observation that you are not becoming stronger fast enough._ "

"And what do you suggest I do about that, oh wise and powerful Jerk?"

" _Get more help, of course._ "

"What? From who?! None of the teachers at the academy have time to help me, even Iruka. He's always got papers to grade and stuff and the other teachers just glare at me. The only other person who could help me is the Hokage, and he's busy all day."

" _I suggest looking to your classmates for help._ "

"Uh… what?"

" _Try asking one of your classmates to help you train. My recommendation is Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino. Sakura, because she is the smartest in the class and a master of theoretical knowledge. Hinata, because as you saw yesterday, she can totally kick ass. And Shino, because he's never been mean to you and seems relatively smart and capable from what memories of him that you have._ "

"I agree with choosing Sakura, cause she really is smart and stuff. And I guess Hinata isn't just weird, cause she did punch pretty hard when I snuck up on her. But why Shino? He's got bugs and, well… I dunno, do you really think he can help?"

" _Yes._ "

"Eh… fine…" Naruto opened his mouth, yawning loudly. He leaned back into his pillow as fatigue finally caught up with him. "I'll just do that… in the morning… G'night…"

* * *

A/N: So as you can see, in this story, Naruto is getting help but also figuring stuff out for himself. Also, as far as pairing go in this story, there are none. There are for sure to be crushes and stuff for the kids, but as far as parings go, the only ones are the ones that the adults have, such as Kushina/Minato or Asuma/Kurenai (dating). Granted, one of those pairs are dead, but I think you lot get the point.

Now, as illustrated here, Naruto is still a kid and dealing with him is like dealing with a kid who's always going to be impatient and not as knowledgeable as an adult would be. The same goes for the other kids. Even the so called "prodigies" are going to act like kids when they're kids.

Anywho, review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	21. A Touch of Death 4

**A Touch of Death**

* * *

By: I.K.A. Valian

Chapter Four: _Survival of the Fittest_

* * *

Summary

Uzumaki Naruto was blessed three times the day he was born. His father blessed him with the power of human sacrifice.  
His mother blessed him with her love. The Shinigami blessed him with a shard of his own soul.

A Soul Blade.

* * *

Last Time

Naruto met up and learned his new teammates were going to be Kunoichi Nerd Haruno Sakura and Uchiha 'stick up his ass' Sasuke. They were a three man squad put under the tutelage of a Jounin instructor, creating a new team, an awesome team, what later generations would come to know as the Legendary Team Seven… hopefully. Their Jounin instructor turned out to be one Hatake Kakashi, one of the most badass motherfuckers this side of the planet. He's so badass he can smile, _with his eyelid_!

After introductions were made, Kakashi used his latent badass powers to send the kids home in order to make preparations for a survival test the next day. The test would make or break the team, as a failure to pass Kakashi's test would mean going back to the Academy for an additional year of instruction. Unfortunately, the test also meant going up against Kakashi himself in all out combat, a certain death sentence. It is make or break time for Naruto and his new team of badass hopefuls.

* * *

"You're a little bit off, aren't you?" Kakashi asked, though he didn't expect an answer. "The basics of being a ninja involve being able to hide yourself well."

"I said fight me!" Naruto shouted. When Kakashi didn't move, Naruto grit his teeth. "Okay! If you won't, I will! Haaa!"

Naruto screamed as he charged forward with his sword held high above his head. Kakashi bent his head from side to side, cracking his neck as he waited for Naruto to even get close enough to swing that sword he held. While waiting, Kakashi got bored, and reached into his hip pouch and grabbed his precious.

"Lesson one," Kakashi said as he pulled out an orange book. "Taijutsu. I'll teach you about it a little."

Naruto would have stopped to wait and see what kind of weapon Kakashi was going to pull out, but he had a freaking sword. There was no way Kakashi had anything that trumped a sword in that small pouch. So Naruto kept charging and quickly got in range just as Kakashi opened the book.

Naruto made a quick slash and then another. Kakashi simply leaned backwards, twisted to the side and then moved back into his starting position. The whole time he had his face buried in the book, and was in fact, reading said book. He even giggled.

"Wh-what?!" Naruto shouted. "What the hell are you doing?! You should take this battle seriously!"

Having said that, Naruto brought his hands together and shouted, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" About twenty copies of Naruto popped into existence and all of them started attacking Kakashi with their own copy of the sword. The Jounin didn't even give any indication that he cared or noticed he was now outnumbered. Instead, he continued giggling while reading his orange colored smut.

"Damn it!" Naruto growled. He leaped back and let his clones continue to go at Kakashi. "He's so fast."

"Lesson one, don't let the enemy get behind you."

Naruto's eyes widened when he realized whose voice that was. He probably would have been seriously injured by that jab Kakashi made with his fingers, the one the man called 'Konohagakure Hidden Secret Supreme Taijutsu Technique: One Thousand Years of Death'. Fortunately, a timely order of ' _JUMP'_ saved Naruto's posterior for such an embarrassing incident.

"Hmm…" Kakashi stayed crouched and studied Naruto for several seconds. "You've got good instincts, but I wonder…" Naruto warily watched Kakashi with his sword held in front of him. While he was thrilled that his potential sensei was finally taking this fight seriously, he never even saw the man escape his clones. In fact, Naruto didn't see Kakashi move at all when he disappeared right in front of him.

' _Duck!'_

An arm passed over Naruto's head, just barely grazing his hair.

' _Roll right!_ '

Naruto rolled right, avoiding being crushed or kicked by a stomp from Kakashi. He wasn't sure which one it was because his body continued to move in frantic movements.

' _Jump, forward flip, side twist, summersault, kick!'_

Naruto didn't know whether to scream or be amazed that he was actually keeping up with a Jounin in taijutsu. Hell, he never could keep up with Sasuke in the academy and almost always got his ass kicked. The only difference between then and now was… the whole incident with Mizuki and…

Naruto froze, rebelling as much as he could against the instinct to jump. And then a foot smashed into the back of his head and sent him tumbling across the field. Kakashi stood from his attack and watched Naruto with a curious eye.

"Why did you stop?" Kakashi asked. "It looked like you wanted to keep going, but you stopped and took that hit on purpose."

Naruto slowly got to his feet and looked down at his hands. Both were shaking, but the one with the sword in it was shaking less. Hell, it wasn't just his hands that were shaking, his whole body was.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto said. He looked up at Kakashi with the most frightened look he could muster, which wasn't hard at all considering how terrified he was right now. "I think… **it** is taking over… my body…"

At this, Kakashi's eye widened noticeably. He lifted up his headband and opened his other eye. Naruto would have been surprised that he had a red eye hidden away there, but he was more than focused on the fact that his body was answering to the orders of a giant nine-tailed fox that wanted to do nothing less than kill every living thing Naruto ever cared about.

Moments later, Kakashi closed his red eye and slid his forehead protector back down. "It's not that Naruto."

"But, how can you-"

"I can tell," Kakashi said. He tapped his forehead protector, right over his eye. "It's one of my… err… special abilities. Whatever is bothering you, it's not that."

Naruto looked back down at his hands, they were shaking less. If it wasn't the fox, then that was good. Very good. He almost felt like jumping for joy, but he still didn't have an answer to why exactly he was moving like he was.

And if he thought about it, the Fox had always been inside of him, even before Mizuki tried to kill him and Iruka. Now that he'd come to that conclusion, he felt rather silly for being so scared. But the only other thing he had now that he didn't have before was… the sword now resting in his right hand.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said, his voice more level now instead of trembling and shaking, "do you know what a Soul Blade is?"

"Can't say that I know anything more than rumors and legends," Kakashi said lied smoothly. "Supposedly, a Soul Blade can only be obtained when mortals are touched by death in some way. There are rumors about people having them from time to time, but nothing ever comes of those." At this point, Kakashi tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

Naruto raised the sword he held into the air a little. "Because when I pulled this sword out of the Forbidden Scroll, it was labeled, 'Uzumaki Naruto Soul Blade'. I just wanted to know what that meant."

"Oh, I see…" Kakashi did another one of his weird eye smiles, though this one looked strained and unsure. At this point, the alarm went off on the stump, now all the way across the clearing from where they'd started fighting. Kakashi slumped his shoulders and started trudging back to where everything started. "Well, looks like you've all failed. Let's head back."

Naruto gaped, his mouth opening and closing as he watched Kakashi lazily turn and walk back toward the three tree stumps. "What!"

* * *

"You guys look really hungry," Kakashi dryly observed.

"I don't get it," Sakura said. "Sasuke-kun and I didn't get a bell, but…" at this point she started shouting, "why are only the two of us tied to posts and not Naruto?!"

Naruto glanced at Sasuke tied to one post and then at Sakura who was tied to another. Both had a boxed lunch set on the ground in front of them. It was clearly torturing them because now their stomachs were growling constantly.

"Oh, that was because of the three of you, only Naruto managed to continually engage me for the whole time allotted for getting the bells," Kakashi said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "If the two of you had come out to help Naruto, maybe you could have gotten a bell. Instead, the both of you ran off to do your own thing and Naruto was left to fend for himself against a superior foe."

"But… you said whoever doesn't get a bell goes back to the Academy," Sakura said. It was clear from how her forehead was scrunched up she was really confused by this. "There are only two bells! Why would we work together to only get one bell?!"

"Oh, well you needn't worry about that," Kakashi said. "You three won't be going back to the Academy."

"You… you mean?" Sakura breathed out, barely believing what Kakashi was saying.

"All three of us?" Naruto asked, looking toward their sensei. Kakashi nodded. Naruto jumped into the air and did a fist pump. "Yeah! We did it!"

"Yep," Kakashi said. "All three of you suck so much that you should just quit at being ninja."

"What?!" Naruto shouted. It was as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on their heads. "What the hell do you mean?!"

"O-okay, so… so we couldn't get any bells," Sakura said, her eyes wide with barely restrained fear. "Why do we have to quit being ninja?"

"Because the three of you are just punks who don't deserve to be ninja," Kakashi said.

Naruto clenched his hands and glared at Kakashi as hard as he could. Sakura looked like she was about to cry, in fact, she was crying but the choked sob indicated she was trying to hold it in. Sasuke was trying his damndest to get free of the ropes so he could, in all likelihood, attack Kakashi or something along those lines.

"And that is why you're punks," Kakashi said as he pointed at their reactions. "Are you underestimating Ninja?" Kakashi asked, lowering his head and glaring back at the three kids. The man's glare was easily more potent than anything they'd ever experience. This was the glare of a man who'd stared down death. The glare of a man who watched everyone he ever cared about die one right after another. "Why do you think you were divided into teams and are now taking this training?"

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"Basically," Kakashi growled, still appearing agitated, "you aren't understanding the answer to this test."

"Answer?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Kakashi drawled with obnoxious sarcasm, "the answer that will help you pass this test."

"Well… Aren't you going to tell us?" Sakura asked after several seconds of silence. None of the kids would know it, but at that point, Kakashi was just about ready to throw the towel in and fail them on the spot.

Instead of giving into his irritation with them, Kakashi calmly said, "Why don't you tell me? I've certainly given you three enough clues."

There was silence for a few seconds, filled with the frantic thoughts of three faces scrunched up in terror. Finally, Sakura's face brightened as if figuring it out, before she frowned again in confusion. "But… but that can't be right!" Sakura shouted. "There are only two bells!"

Kakashi tilted his head as he looked at Sakura. First Naruto surprised him with his rather advanced reflexes and speed. Sasuke had impressed his clone in the woods with his Ninjutsu capability. That Fireball jutsu the Uchiha had used was a Chunin level skill, and a quite impressive showing at that. So far, Sakura hadn't really done much more than look pretty, scream, and faint when one of his shadow clones used the Hell Viewing Genjutsu on her. Despite her obvious inability to fight as a ninja, it seemed she was the first one to put together the clues and solve the riddle. Perhaps there was some hope for her yet.

"Care to elaborate, Sakura?" Kakashi asked.

"Um… Uh… Is it… Teamwork?" she asked haltingly. The fact that she had tears still fresh on her cheeks and was staring up at Kakashi with big, wide, green eyes, almost made his heart melt. It was almost like she planned the tears to make this moment more potent. Not that Kakashi would let his heart be melted by puppy dog eyes. His own summons could make better eyes than that. Some of them were _actual_ puppies, and he still didn't cave into their furry demands. The training that his summons gave him to resist such tactics was something he considered to be the hardest training he'd ever undergone, but it was worth it. And Gai wondered how he could keep his calm all the time. Heh, the benefits of a Ninken Summoning Contract.

Kakashi did his eye smile. "Yes, that's it exactly." Naruto looked dumbfounded. Sasuke's eyes were wide open from shock. Sakura… she looked down and frowned at the ground and fidgeted against the rope restraining her to the post.

"But… But there are only two bells!" Naruto shouted. "How can we work together if one of us is going to fail even if we did get a bell? And when we got the bell, we'd all just fight over who got it and who got sent back!"

"Of course," Kakashi said. "This test was purposely set up to make you fight amongst yourselves. The purpose of the test is to see whether you can forget about your own interest and successfully work together under these circumstances. Instead…" Kakashi pointed at Sakura. "Sakura, rather than going to Naruto's aid, who obviously had me occupied, you ran off to find Sasuke, who didn't." Now Kakashi pointed at Sasuke. "Sasuke, you assumed the others would get in your way and tried to do everything yourself. Naruto, as good as your taijutsu was, you really suck at everything else and were completely useless on your own. None of you ever had a chance of getting a bell by yourselves. The duties of a team are done together. Individual ability is important, but what's even more important is _teamwork_."

Kakashi reached a hand back into his hip pouch. In a flash, he'd moved the distance between his previous spot and Sakura. He held a kunai up to her neck and looked at Naruto with the most serious look Naruto had ever seen the man have.

"Naruto, kill Sasuke or Sakura dies." Naruto's eyes widened and he immediately reached up for his sword and leaned toward Kakashi and Sakura. Kakashi simply pushed the kunai harder against Sakura's throat, making the girl whimper. "Do it, Naruto!"

Naruto stayed the way he was. He looked away from Kakashi to look at Sakura who was staring at him with wide open eyes terror filled eyes. She was holding her breath, ready for the end. When Kakashi lowered the kunai before Naruto could act, she let out that breath, relieved, and slumped as much as the rope holding her to the stump would allow.

"Individual play that disrupts teamwork can put comrades in danger and even get you killed," Kakashi said. "This was just an example, but if a hostage is taken, you'll have to make some really tough choices and then in most cases, someone, maybe everyone, will die. You will be risking your lives in this job. Not just your own, but your comrades lives as well." Kakashi sighed and started walking away. "I'll give you guys one more chance. But after lunch, I'm going to make it even tougher to get the bells. Naruto, you can eat lunch, but don't feed those two."

"What?! But they're starving!"

"It's punishment for failing the first test," Kakashi said. When he noticed Naruto staring at him defiantly, he leaned in close, got in Naruto's face, and leveled his one eye doom glare at the boy. "I'm in charge here, got it? I make the rules."

"Yeah… Fine, whatever," Naruto said with his arms crossed in front of him.

"Alright, I'm off." Kakashi vanished in a swirl of leaves.

As soon as Kakashi was gone, Naruto turned to his teammates and said, "I got an idea."

* * *

Kakashi watched from a tree not too far away. He was actually disappointed that Naruto was following his commands and not feeding his teammates. And here he had hoped this team would work out.

Kakashi paid attention to how Naruto kept running around. It looked like he was trying to set up traps at the direction of the other two, but was doing a horrible job of following those directions. One of Naruto's attempts to set up an exploding trap tag on the ground malfunctioned and went off while Naruto was still crouched down over it.

Kakashi was about to move closer to see if they were still alive, but the smoke cleared quickly enough. Naruto was covered in black soot, and looked rather comical at that, and was sitting dazedly on the ground as Sakura and Sasuke coughed loudly and called the blond out on his stupidity.

When the lunch hour was up, Kakashi groaned as he stood up and used a Shunshin to appear amongst the kids. If his posture and eye expression could be summed up with one word, it would be disappointed. They'd had an hour to prepare, an hour to break his rules, but in the end, they'd done nothing.

"You guys fail."

* * *

"What do you mean we fail?!" Naruto asked. "We haven't even gotten a chance at the bells yet! We haven't failed until we can't move anymore!"

"Weren't you three listening to anything I said?" Kakashi asked, now really and truly annoyed. "I said that teamwork as the purpose of the test. You three failed the moment you didn't disobey even a single one of my rules."

A silence filled the clearing for all of three seconds before Sasuke uncharacteristically coughed. "Err… Yeah," he said, "about that…"

Kakashi's eyes napped open at the very Naruto-ish grin on all three faces of his genin. Only, this wasn't all his genin. It was all Naruto. When had Naruto switched places with… the explosion!

"I see," Kakashi said, the beginnings of astonishment growing inside of him. He glanced down at the two meals laying on the ground and saw that they looked the same, but… if he had to guess, they were shadow clones too. "Are any of you the real Naruto?"

"Nope," the Naruto in front of him said. "They're behind you."

Kakashi turned his head to look over his shoulder. There stood his three students. Naruto grinned like a madman. Sakura smiled deviously. Sasuke just had this damnable smirk that made Kakashi want to punch the kid. All in all, the three looked like the cats that caught a flock of canaries, dipped the birds in butter, and roasted them over an open pit fire while cheering each other with warm bottles of milk.

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei" Sakura said. She lifted her hand and revealed she was holding a bell. "Does this mean we pass?"

Kakashi looked down and found that he was now lighter two bells. But that meant that the other bell was now being held by one of the kids. The question was who. While looking down, Kakashi also noticed an exploding tag set right beneath his foot. An exploding tag ready to go off the moment he lifted his foot.

"I just have to know whose bright idea this was," Kakashi said, "as well as who has the last bell."

"Well… The idea started with Naruto," Sakura said.

"I knew I could get them out," Naruto said with a cheeky grin.

"Then Sasuke said something about setting up traps while we were eating in the forest," Sakura continued.

"Naruto had enough clones to set up enough traps to trap even you," Sasuke said.

"And then Sakura told me where to place that tag so that you'd step on it when you came back," Naruto said.

"And when you did, we had two of Naruto's clones replace themselves with the bells," Sasuke said.

"I see…" Kakashi muttered. "And the other bell? Does Sasuke or Naruto have it?"

"Maybe," both boys said at the same time.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes as he watched the two boys for any signs of deceit. The thing was, they were both showing the signs, which meant they could both be lying or telling the truth. Ultimately, he couldn't read either of them. "I don't actually believe I'm saying this," Kakashi said, "but you've passed the test."

"Yes!" Naruto shouted. He did another fist pump.

"No, I don't think you understand," Kakashi said. This drew confused looks from the kids, for which Kakashi took some measure of satisfaction. "This test was designed to be unwinnable. No one has ever passed this test, at least, not the bell portion. Not even my own team passed the bell portion of the test. Anyone who's 'passed' the test usually does so by breaking the rules. That's the point. You were supposed to break my rules and do what's best for the team, no matter what. But you somehow found a way to get the bells without appearing to break the rules. Even though you two ate, you didn't eat here. If you hadn't told me you'd eaten, then I would have never known. And you got the bells. And it took each of you working together to do it."

Kakashi did his weird eye smile again. "You guys are the first team to pass my test. All the others were morons that would do whatever I told them to do. You have to look underneath the underneath. In the ninja world, there are those who break the rules, and we call them trash, lowlifes, criminals, scum. But you know what?" Kakashi glanced at each of them to guage their attention, which he had. "Those people may be scum, but anyone who abandons their comrades is lower than trash. Congratulations, Team Seven passes!" Kakashi gave the team a thumbs-up.

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted. He started doing a weird little dance that involved shaking his hips and waving his arms about. "I did it! I did it! I'm a ninja!"

While Sasuke and Sakura shared Naruto's joy, his enthusiasm and 'dance' were enough to disturb them into silence. Kakashi ignored it as if he were immune. "Meet me at the Hokage Tower tomorrow morning to receive your first mission," the Jounin said before he vanished in a swirl of leaves.

And then the tag exploded.

* * *

The Third Hokage sat behind his desk, going through mission reports and signing off on payment authorizations. The work of a kage never ends, especially the Hokage. The paperwork would have killed him, had he never started utilizing Shadow Clones to break the workload down. The strain on his mind when the clones dispelled was a pain, but it was worth it when considering the time that was saved.

Humming happily to himself, the Hokage stamped his approval on the payment for an A-class mission when he felt an incoming chakra signature. Closing the scroll and putting it to the side, the old man leaned back in his seat with his pipe in his mouth as he waited for his shinobi to appear. He didn't have to wait long, as Kakashi appeared in the room in a small storm of leaves.

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi said. He made a short bow. "I've come to report that Team Seven passed the bell test."

The Hokage smiled. "I'm glad Naruto and his friends were able to see that teamwork was the way to go forward. I was a little afraid for them, based on the reports I'd received from Iruka-kun about Haruno-kun and Uchiha-kun. But it would seem my fears were baseless."

"Err… No, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said. "You were right. They don't get along at all. But they were capable of putting those differences aside to actually steal the bells and put me in a position that I wouldn't have been able to get them back immediately."

The pipe in the old man's mouth fell free. "What?" the old man asked. "Do you mean to tell me that you let three brand new genin steal the bells from you? Are you getting rusty?"

An uncomfortable look passed over Kakashi's face. "Either that, Hokage-sama, or I'm severely underestimating them. While two of them had been tied up for the lunch hour, I expected Naruto to break the rules and provide an example of teamwork. I'd already spelled as much out to them. However, they tricked me with an ingenious use of shadow clones, transformation, and replacement. While I was watching a bunch of clones fool around, the three of them had gone off into the woods with the food without me realizing and then came up with a plan. When I went to confront them, I found myself with two less bells and standing on an explosive seal. When I tried to find out who had the bells, they obfuscated. Honestly, it was a very basic deception, but it was masterfully executed."

The Hokage nodded, deep in thought. "No doubt the execution was Naruto's contribution. All of his experience with pranks around the village have given him an uncanny insight into timing things to go off without a hitch. Who was it that placed the explosive note? It was impressive to lay it directly where you'd wind up."

"It was Sakura," Kakashi said. "She may be next to useless physically, but she's got a mind inside her little pink head that's sharper than many swords I've seen. Oh, and speaking of swords, I've learned a little something about Naruto and his sword."

"What is it?"

"It seems to increase his instinctual reaction time," Kakashi said. "As soon as I started the test, he engaged me in a taijutsu match. I attempted to catch him from behind, but he jumped without actually seeming to know why until after he saw I had appeared behind him. Also, when I started pushing him in speed toward high D-rank, low C-rank levels, he was able to keep up, if barely. From his reaction to this ability, I'd say he is confused and a little bit frightened. He thought it had been the fox at first. It wasn't, but he seemed to realize after I reassured him that what had caused the change was the sword."

"I see…" the Hokage said. "We'll allow Naruto to come to his own conclusions about the blade in due time for now. Keep a watch on his development. Is that all?"

"The Uchiha performed a little better than expected," Kakashi said, "but from what I read in his report, that's to be expected what with how hard he's been pushing himself since the massacre."

"Yes," the old man said with a depressed timbre in his voice. "Thank you for the report, Kakashi-kun."

"Ja ne," Kakashi said. He gave a two finger salute and vanished into a swirl of leaves. The Hokage scowled at the pile of green now spread across his office floor.

* * *

Omake: What could have happened.

"Naruto, kill Sasuke or Sakura dies." Naruto's eyes widened and he immediately reached up for his sword and leaned toward Kakashi and Sakura. Kakashi simply pushed the kunai harder against Sakura's throat, making the girl whimper. "Do it, Naruto!"

Naruto stayed the way he was. He looked away from Kakashi to look at Sakura who was staring at him. She was obviously terrified, but when Naruto unsheathed his sword she gasped when he stabbed it into the ground.

"Go fuck yourself in hell, Kakashi," Naruto shouted. He put his hands together and Kakashi's eyes widened. He felt a pop beneath his hands. He barely had time to notice that Sakura had been replaced with a shadow clone that had dispelled before a swarm of hundreds of orange Naruto swarmed him.

The next day, a funeral was held for Hatake Kakashi. He was a pervert, a letch, and the best damn ninja to come from his generation. He would be missed, mostly by a green training suit wearing man named Might Gai. Kakashi, for his part, found himself in the Pure World, meeting his father, Rin, Minato, Kushina, and several other people long dead. One person he did not find, and had been expecting to find, was Obito. The only thing Dead-Kakashi could do was ask, "Where's Obito?"

* * *

A/N: Thus I present to you the next chapter of A Touch of Death! It may seem rote, by this point, to those Naruto Fanfiction Veterans. However, this scene was important for me to help establish exactly what Naruto's sword is doing with him. More specifically, it's adding to his Yin. It is pure Soul after all, so that shouldn't be surprising. What should jump out at those who read this should be that Naruto, whom has an overwhelming amount of Yang due to the Yang half of the Ninetails as well as his own Uzumaki Heritage, is that this sword is acting like a Yin Amplifier, which would enable Naruto to do things that he would not otherwise be capable of doing, such as sensing chakra, predicting attacks, precise control over himself and his chakra (or more precise at any rate, he still has horrible chakra control). And so on.

So leave a review! Let me know what you fine readers think of these things!

~I.K.A. Valian


	22. Whirlpool Ren 1

**Whirlpool Trilogy**

* * *

 _Book One: Ren of the Uzumaki Clan_

By I.K.A. Valian

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Chapter One: _Being Reborn_

* * *

~ Awakening… ~

I was dead. It is important that one pays attention to the past tense in which I say that. I say that I was dead, because I am not dead any longer. It was, to say the least, as jarring an experience as dying was in the first place.

My first thoughts, after the long, long, _long_ sleep in the darkness reflected my confusion. Why, I thought, was I feeling pain? Pain was a sensation I'd left behind when I died. I was sure I was dead. The freak accident involving an eighteen wheeled truck losing its cargo of massive, twelve foot high cement sewage pipes on the interstate hadn't left my mind even in death. In fact, as I came to consciousness once again, the image of those massive round cement tubes rolling down the freeway toward my car was the first thing I saw flash before my eyes. So then, since I am most certainly dead, where was this pain coming from?

It felt like something was squishing me. I remember that when I was alive I was slightly claustrophobic. It was not anything debilitating, but it was there. Now, here, in this weird place, I was reacting rather mellow to the squishing. I knew it was getting harder to breathe, or rather, it was getting harder to not breath in my mostly dead state, but it didn't really bother me that I was being squished. It felt more like I was being tucked into bed, with my covers tightly wound around me. It felt warm and safe.

I don't know how long I was in the restricting cocoon of warmth, but eventually it had to end. The suffocating feeling grew worse and eventually a light appeared in the darkness. I tried to move toward it, but my arms felt weak and I could barely move my legs. And then the darkness that had surrounded me for what felt like an eternity _heaved_ , and I was thrust toward the light.

* * *

~ Adjusting ~

"You were born today, one year ago, on the eighteenth of February, in the fortieth year of the common era," I was informed by my new mother, Shiina, when I turned one year old. She cracked a grin at me and added, "Happy birthday, Ren-chan." I must have inherited some super-human genes or something to have picked up the language that was being spoken here so fast. I wasn't able to speak, of course, but I could understand what was being said and react accordingly.

My mother was a woman of striking beauty. Her eyes, whenever she was looking at me, were like emeralds aglow with warmth. It was easy to tell from the way she looked at me that she loved me a lot. I may have retained my memories of my past life, but I just couldn't find it in my heart to deny this woman her position as _mother_. We shared the same connection I recalled feeling with my past mother, and I wasn't really all that upset about it. I was severely out of my depth, starting a new life in this new place. It was far more comforting than I'll ever admit to know that there was someone as pretty and loving as Shiina that would always be there for me in this life.

Life over my first year was not all shits and giggles, though. There was plenty of that, what with having an infant's body, but there was also the struggle to learn what the hell was being spoken around me. _That_ took up a great deal of my waking time, which was sparse. Babies sleep, eat, and excrete foul smelling substances. Time is allocated to those different activities in that order of importance. It would have been really frustrating, especially to an infant with an adult mind inside of their heads, had it not been for Shiina.

Whenever I would get frustrated trying to understand, or trying to keep my eyes open longer than a couple of hours at a time, Shiina would appear and envelope me in her arms. She would distract me with her smile while tickling me her long, dark crimson red hair. I'd usually forget my frustrations when that happened and fall right asleep. The woman seemed to have some kind of sixth sense for when I was in those moods because I was never really frustrated with my lack of advancement for very long before I was swept up into her arms.

I'm pretty sure she knows I'm smarter than an infant should be. Aside from being my mother, she's observed me reacting to her words as if I understand them. I also am not very finicky for a baby, which is something she seems rather worried about. Maybe all of her friends with children had to deal with babies that would cry at weird times or were just unruly. Not that babies can help it when they don't understand anything that's going on around them and can only concern themselves with their own needs. I don't have that problem with my advanced adult mind. I know I could have been a greater pain in the ass than I was, but I remained a calm baby, if for nothing else than because Shiina had quickly grown important to me.

My mother swooped down and picked me up, having informed me that today was my birthday. "Today," she said, "we are going to the park. Won't that be fun?" I nodded as best I could. I loved going outside. I hadn't been taken anywhere beyond our home's enclosed yard, but it was always warm with a salty sea-breeze blowing through. I wasn't sure where in the world I'd been reborn, but hell if it didn't appear like a paradise from what I'd seen of it so far.

Being carried down the street was an eye opener. I didn't just live by the sea, I lived on a tropical island. Maybe I was reborn into the asian-pacific? It would explain the different language, thought not the setting. I've never seen anyone with a fridge that didn't have air conditioning. Both machines used the same concept, but apparently they didn't believe in AC here. I re-affirmed this observation about my new home when I was carried through the neighborhood and noted that none of the homes had any form of air conditioning. It was rather mind boggling.

The park wasn't that large as far as my adult mind's perspective understood it. From my infant's point of view, it was like a huge new adventure waiting to happen. I tried crawling away as soon as Shiina put me down, but she laughed and swooped me back into her arms. It wasn't long before I was deposited into the sand box. I may have the mind of an adult, and at first it was rather demeaning to be sat in a box of sand so that I couldn't escape and get into trouble, but after a good ten minutes I began to 'play' in the sand by digging around in it with my hands. I enjoyed the feeling of the warm, dry top sand in contrast with the cool, damp sand beneath.

There were other kids at the park, and I saw Shiina talking with the other mothers and even a couple fathers as well. Most of the other kids were older, much older, and were either seen running around playing some kind of game that looked like tag, but with wooden knives and what looked like wooden stars being thrown about. There were also a good number of kids my own age of one year old, but most of those kids were being held or watched after by their parents directly. Only two were in the sand box with me, digging around or playing baby games with the small shovels that sat around in here.

This was the point at which I realized something was either _really_ wrong with me or _exceptionally_ wrong with the new world I found myself born into. Everyone around me. Every. Single. Person. They all had blood red hair.

I've never seen so many red-heads in one place before. It was rather ridiculous, to my adult point of view, considering that red hair was supposed to be pretty rare, unless you were from somewhere like Ireland or Scotland. Neither of those places spoke the language I was learning here.

I think I was staring a bit too long at all of the red because it wasn't too long after that when Shiina swooped me up into her lovingly warm embrace. I don't know how much time had passed over the course of the day as we apparently went into the main part of the village that we lived. I think it was a village. The houses and stores were rather modern looking, if oriental in design. Most of the places we went into were stores, where my mother decided that I needed new clothes. Being turned into a living dress-up doll wasn't fun in the least.

At least the day ended well. Shiina treated me to what I believe was a few bites of her anmitsu. I'd never had it in my previous life, so I wasn't sure, but when Shiina was cooing at me, that's what she called it. It was really sweet and I found that I rather like it.

Thus ended my birthday, when I fell asleep not long after. My first year alive again was rather uneventful. I learned to understand a new language, though I made up for mis-understanding words by following the context of what was being said. And I learned that, the woman who is now my mother is perhaps the most important person I know right now, without exception.

* * *

~Revival~

It was February eighteenth, in the eighty-fifth year of the Common Era, which began the day that Konohagakure was founded. I was now turning fifteen and gained from Mother Nature the lovely gift of puberty. It was a bit mind boggling considering that I should be going on forty-five, but considering the circumstances that I had found myself embroiled in the last few years, it wasn't surprising.

Being a guy, such things are much simpler for me than for girls. I count my blessings every day, having gone through this once, that I wasn't reborn as a member of the opposite sex. At least I have a point of reference for all the urges that most would only be able to get under control after a decade of acting like a… well, I hate to say it, but hormonal teenager is a very apt description.

The irony that I was walking through the gates of the very village that established the new calendar was not lost on me. But I was here with a mission, and I really wasn't spending much time on frivolous thoughts. The village seemed to be rather lively, festive even. It reminded me greatly of Uzushio, back before the invasion.

I gained entrance to the village easily enough, despite my cloaked nature. It's strange, I would have thought that there would been more security. In either case, as I walked down the main thoroughfare toward the Hokage Tower, I picked up on several conversations that filled in some of the blanks.

"Did you hear?" asked one particularly excited brunette while searching a fruit stand for the perfect specimen of melon. "Uchiha-sama made it to the final round of the Chunin Exams!"

"Oh?" responded the blond woman standing next to her. "I didn't know that the second round had ended yet. How did you find out?"

"My brother's one of the chunin helping to proctor the exam," the first woman explained as she continued to pick up fruit and check them over before putting them back to continue her search. "The second test finished earlier this morning after a preliminary round. Apparently there were too many participants this year."

"Wow," said the blond as she lifted her own melon and, finding it satisfactory, put it to the side and began digging through her bag for her money purse. "I don't remember the last time I heard about them needing to run a preliminary round. Must have been years ago. Did you hear who else made it?"

"Oh, yes," the brunette said as she finally settled on the melon she'd gone over twice already and pulled out her money. "Aside from Uchiha-sama, there were several others from the big clans, such as the Nara, Aburame, and the Hyuuga. I also heard that Uzumaki Demon Brat made it, but I can't be sure because when my brother tried talking about it, he started laughing and saying something about passing gas. Honestly, my brother can be a bit of an idiot sometimes."

I didn't pause or slow my pace as I continued forward. The gossip that I'd picked up led me to conclude that there was a Chunin Exam being hosted here and that the final round would be held here in a month. The one thing that piqued my interest, though, were the several mentions of a supposed 'Demon' Uzumaki that was supposed to be participating. It didn't take a genius of a re-incarnation to realize that they were referring to my younger cousin, Naruto.

Instead of continuing toward the Hokage Tower, I instead turned down the path indicated as leading toward the hospital by the ever helpful 'leaf'-shaped arrow signs. If I wasn't mistaken, I would run into Naruto there. Unless my memories of the story I'd read a lifetime ago were completely inaccurate, Naruto would need a trainer for the next month. In my increasingly foggy memory, this was when the character Jiraiya was introduced, though it wasn't until much later that the viewers learned he was actually Naruto's Godfather. But as I walked down the road, a plan began to form in my head. Who better than his own clansmen to give guidance and what better way to re-introduce the glorious Uzumaki Clan onto the world stage than by having an Uzumaki blow out the International Chunin Selection Examination?

* * *

~Naruto~

After asking Sakura-chan where Kakashi-sensei was, I learn he had left to check on Sasuke at the hospital. Leave it to the Bastard Uchiha to pass out and need Sensei to skip out on the rest of the team just to watch after him. Getting out of the Forest of Death was a heck of a lot easier than getting in, because apparently there was a tunnel that ran under the ground from the fortress in the center of the forest to a small building just outside of the border fence.

"It sure would have been nice to know about this tunnel before we jumped into that death trap," I muttered as the sun welcomed me back above ground. I raced passed all of the chunin still milling about after the second test and made my way as fast as possible toward the village. I don't remember the hospital very well, having only been there a couple times before I got my own apartment, but I do remember it was just a block away from the Hokage Tower.

I grinned as I poured on the speed. I'd been putting in some heavy duty training since coming back from the mission to the Land of Waves. I never wanted anyone to ever have to sacrifice themselves to save me again, let alone that Bastard Uchiha. And then there was the fact that I had to watch Haku nearly die. In fact, I thought he _had_ died when Kakashi-sensei lopped his arm off. I watched the ice using boy's blood was spray all over Old Man Tazuna's bridge. But then Haku's body had vanished sometime before the battle had ended, so he must have been well enough to move under his own power and escape.

Too bad the same couldn't be said about Zabuza. That guy, at least, went out with a bang when he carved a bloody path through Gato's thugs and cut the midget bastard's head clean off. And he did it with a Kunai. Held in his mouth. Zabuza may have died in the process, but he was a total badass while doing it.

As soon as I arrived into the center of the village, I leaped up to the rooftops to speed up my travel in the direction of the Hokage Tower. I'd made it halfway across the village when I caught sight of what I thought was the hospital and then re-adjusted my path to make a bee-line toward the building. I was just about to clear the last of the gaps between roofs before I had to drop down to street level again when something caught my leg with a snap.

"Ack!" I squeaked as I was sucked down into the shadows of the back alley. Whoever had tripped me up grabbed me before I could smash into the ground and pushed me up against the wall. I tried to use the wall to bounce back and punch whoever this cloaked guy was, but I found myself stuck fast to the wall with my arms and legs stretched out. "Who the hell are you?!" I shouted into the guy's face. "What the hell are you doing, you jerk?! Let me go-ttebayo!"

"Hmph, you're definitely the one. No one else has a verbal tic like that. So you picked it up too, did you?" asked the stranger. "And Tomato-chan was so adamant about never letting her kids inherit it."

"I don't know what the heck you're talking about, pal!" I growled. I pushed as hard as I could against the… I looked, and found myself straining, quite uselessly, against what looked like golden glowing yellow chains wrapped around my arms, legs, and torso. "What the hell! Where did these chains come from?!" I grunted as I tried to pull against the chains, but it was no use, they wouldn't budge even a centimeter. "Stupid chains! Let me go!"

The stranger tilted his head to the side and I caught sight of some red hair falling into the light. So whoever this guy was, he had red hair. And it most certainly was a guy. I'd never heard a girl with a deep voice like that before. He was also kind of tall. "Damnit!" I shouted. "Why is everyone taller than I am?!"

"You do realize that you could have used a replacement to escape the moment I tripped you," the stranger stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Right?"

There was silence between us as I thought back over the exact series of events. I scowled when I realized he was right. But, for some reason, right now I couldn't do anything with my chakra. It was like it had all been pushed back down inside my body, which was a strange feeling because I'd never felt my chakra doing anything but bursting at the seams to get out. Even when that creepy guy with the snakes hit me in the stomach, it didn't stop. Now that I thought about it, that part of my belly still felt rather sore.

"It would be useless to try now, since I'm suppressing your chakra with my Adamantine Chakra Chains," the man said. "Not even your Biju could fight against these. They are the perfect weapon for fighting any of them."

I felt the blood draining from my face as the implications of what the man just said set in. Not only did this guy know about the fox, but he was actively suppressing both my own and the fox's power. And, just on impulse, I tried searching for that hazy, grating rage deep down but I couldn't find it. Even if I had no idea how to pull it out like I did that one time on Tazuna's bridge, I could recognize it for what it was ever since. But now it was just gone, and it terrified me.

This guy had beaten me in one move. And it wasn't just that he'd stopped me as a human, he stopped my biju as well. Plus, it's not as if I am a normal host either, since the Nine-tails was supposed to be the strongest of them all. And this guy had just appeared out of nowhere and stopped me cold. I couldn't budge at all.

"I hear you passed the second stage of the Chunin Exams," the stranger said. "Congratulations."

"Uh…" I said. I wasn't entirely sure what this guy was getting at. But still, he was the first one to congratulate me, aside from the Old Man doing it just before they drew numbers to learn who faced who in the final round. But the Hokage had congratulated all of the winners of the preliminaries, not just me. "Thanks. Look, pal, I'm not sure exactly what you want here. And I need to get to the Hospital so I can ask my Sensei for training. So if you let me go, I'll just forget this ever happened and we can both go our own way, alright?"

"Oh, it's training you want, now, is it?" the stranger asked, a mirthful lilt to his voice. "So why would you want training from your sensei when you could ask me?"

"Y-you?!" I sputtered. "Why would I ask the guy who trapped me and stuck me to a wall?! It's not like you can teach me these chain things, after all." I looked at the man as he leaned back and laughed. It wasn't a loud laugh, more of a chuckle really. Still, why was he laughing? "You can't, right?"

"Well, to answer your first question, yes, _me_. Us Uzumaki have to stick together, ya know!" The man reached up and pulled the hood of his cloak back, revealing a face practically chiseled from stone, blue on green eyes, and a veritable lion's mane of deep blood red hair. "And as for your second question, these chains are inherited from my grandmother. She is also your great-grandmother. So yes, you _can_ use them. But you and I are the only ones left with this particular branch of our blood line."

* * *

~Ren~

I watched as Naruto's eyes went wide and his jaw fell slack. I watched, chuckling to myself, as he tried several times to pull himself together. After a good long while, I frowned when Naruto was still unable to come back to himself. Maybe I was being overdramatic again and broke him? Kushina learned to put up with my quirks after a while, but I recall she reacted a little like this the first few times.

Frowning, I turned to the side and muttered, "I'm not that shocking, am I?"

"Wh-who are you?" Naruto asked, his voice wavering. I turned back and saw Naruto's eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. Perhaps this really was a bit too much to dump on him all at once. "How… how can you just, show up! Out of nowhere?! And how… how can you claim to be an Uzumaki?! There's… There's no such thing as an Uzumaki Clan! This… This is just… too cruel. Even if you hate the fox, that doesn't mean you have to do something like this to me! You… You…. YOU BASTARD!"

I sighed and lowered my face into my palm as Naruto tried to get free again, once more proving that my chains were impervious to his efforts to break free. All the time he was cursing up a storm and I quickly began to wonder where exactly he'd learned his vocabulary. It was certainly vulgar enough. The old story didn't really give any specifics on how bad Naruto's life was before the opening chapter, only showing that he was lonely and became a loud brat to compensate.

Finally tiring of the incessant noise Naruto was generating, I felt a vein pop on the top of my head. Before I even realized I'd moved, I smacked him upside the head and shouted, "Would you shut up, you little brat! Dattebaka!"

A hush settled over the alley as Naruto stared at me. I scowled and muttered a quiet "shit" when I realized what I'd said. Suddenly the alley was filled with bubbling laughter.

"Hehehe, you said Dattebaka!" Naruto goaded. "I thought Dattebayo was bad, but you got it even worse! Haha!"

Still scowling, I muttered, "At least you don't insult others when you say yours! Even your mom didn't have that problem." Growling, I sneered as I crossed my arms and silently steamed while waiting for my younger cousin to finally settle down. It took a while, too, as Naruto seemed to get a never-ending kick out of what my own verbal tic was. "Tch. You're a real brat, you know that?"

"Nyeh!" Naruto stuck his tongue out at me.

I smirked and grabbed the offending appendage. Naruto's eyes widened as he tried to pull his tongue back into his mouth, but I held on fast using chakra. With an ever widening smile, I said, slowly, "Well now, what's wrong? Cat got your tongue?"

Naruto settled for glaring at me. I grinned.

"Oh, whoops, look's like I'm the one holding onto it." I smiled as Naruto continued to try and glare at me. He made some grunts and groans, trying to say something, but it was all unintelligible. "Look, you stop insulting me and I let your tongue go. Deal?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes before he nodded. I quickly let go of his tongue and took a step back as Naruto proceeded to spit the flavor of my fingers out. Finally, Naruto looked up at me though his blond bangs and watched me, this time, some what hesitantly.

"Are… are we really related?" Naruto asked, almost too quietly for me to hear.

"Yes," I confirmed. "First cousins, once removed. My name is Uzumaki Ren."

Naruto was silent for a long while. Finally, he asked, "Why?"

"Why what?" I asked.

"Why," he repeated. "Why didn't you come before? Did… Did you not want me? Was it because of the fox? Why… did you leave me all alone?"

"I was born forty-five years ago," I explain. This earned a strange, though clearly confused look from the boy. "However, I only turned fifteen today. The answer to 'how' is time travel."

"Time travel?" I think I may have lost the kid with that one.

"Yes," I said. "There's a whole convoluted explanation I could give, but basically, I traveled thirty years into the future. There was an invasion of our clan's home in the Land of Whirlpools. I've since come to learn that it was the battle that started the second shinobi world war. In order to save the remaining survivors, I sent all of us that remained into the future. I was actually only aiming for ten years, not thirty. I think it's obvious that I messed up my technique somewhere along the way when casting it."

"Heh," Naruto chuckled, but it was rather mirthless. "Yeah… just a little. So… you really didn't even know about me then? How did you track me down? I wasn't born until thirteen years ago."

I smiled. "How about this. I explain what happened after we get to the training field."

Naruto blinked, clearly processing what I'd said. Finally, he asked, "You really mean that you want to train me? But… wouldn't you have other things to do? Why would you want to waste your time on me? You wouldn't know this, but I'm the dead last of my class. I got nearly no talent at anything and even if I did get into the finals of the Chunin Exam, it's probably just dumb luck."

I frowned and placed my hand onto Naruto's head, splaying my fingers through his wild blond hair. The color may be different, but it had the same rough texture that Kushina's had. The chains slowly retracted, sliding back into the wall after looping around Naruto several times. When they were all gone I grabbed Naruto's shoulder and said, "You are an Uzumaki. It doesn't surprise me that without being taught in the ways of our clan, you didn't do very well. We had to come up with our own way of teaching and learning because our chakra is just too wild and large to be trained in the traditional way. Over the next month, I'm going to fix that. I also don't believe you have no talent at anything." Naruto looked up at me through his bangs, his eyes full of disbelief. "In fact, I believe you are one of the few Uzumaki who will eventually reach heights that will leave the rest of us behind. You are your mother's son, after all. And she was a little ball of energy, the last time I saw her, but that was thirty years ago. Anyway, you don't have to worry about things like class ranking or even luck. When I'm done with you, you'll not only win the final round of the competition, you'll blow every single one of the competitors away."

"Do… do you really mean all that?" Naruto asked. "You're not just saying that?"

"Pfff, please," I said, giving him a playful shove, "I would have trained you if for no other reason than because you're family. Before your mom moved here to Konoha, I was training her too, ya know."

"You were?" Naruto asked. I nodded. "What… um… What was mom, like? What was her name? Did she like ramen?"

I laughed and started leading Naruto out of the alley toward one of the training grounds. I'd left a shadow clone searching through the grounds available and it had found a good one before dispelling. After pulling my hood up, I began telling Naruto everything I could remember of his mother when she was just four years old. Naruto paid closer attention to me than I think he paid anything else in his life. Though, it was clear from the shallow smile that never left his face that he was quite happy.

* * *

~Training Ground Fifteen~

"So, so, so," I asked excitedly. "What are we going to train in first, Ren-sensei? Is it going to be a kick ass Clan Taijutsu? Or is it Uzumaki Ninjutsu! Those Chains! Is there a super, secret Uzumaki Ramen Recipe-"

I had to stop talking when my cousin –HOLY CRAP I HAVE FAMILY!- slapped his hand over my mouth. Instead of looking angry that I was basically talking without breathing, a skill I'd picked up from how Iruka-sensei could speak in class for hours without a break, I found my cousin was looking back and forth across the rather remote clearing in the forest of Training Ground Fifteen with a subtle look of panic. After several seconds though, he seemed to calm down.

"Naruto, there is one thing as an Uzumaki that you should never, ever, under absolutely any circumstances mention in any way, shape, or form," my cousin said. He looked quite serious. Whatever it was, must have been one of those things that no one, but Uzumaki Clan members could know. Maybe not even the Hokage, or married people from outside the clan could know. But… damn it, this suspense is killing me.

"W-what is it, Sensei?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper in an unconscious reflection of my reverence of whatever ancient Uzumaki Clan wisdom was about to be shared.

"Never, under _any circumstances, ever_ mention that the Clan has a," my cousin paused and looked back and forth, re-assuring himself that we were alone, then he continued, "secret Ramen recipe. Understand? Not ever. As far as the rest of the world is concerned, it doesn't exist."

I felt my jaw drop open. I swear I could feel the grass tickling my chin. All of that build up over a Ramen recipe? It took several seconds for the significance of what my cousin said to sink in. My family has a secret Ramen recipe! A secret Ramen recipe so secret that no one knows about it!

"Best! Clan! Ever!" I shouted, punching my fist into the air.

And when I looked at my cousin, I knew right away that we were definitely related. He was grinning at me with practically the same grin I had when I looked into a mirror. Not only do I have a clan with a secret Ramen recipe, but I have a cousin who I can share things with. But now, all this talk about ramen had my stomach rumbling. The clearing was rather silent until the loud gurgling broke it. I blushed and rubbed the back of my head in an effort to brush off my embarrassment.

The next thing I knew, I was seated on a log that had not been there before, and had a bowl of piping hot ramen in one hand with a pair of chopsticks in the other. My cousin sat next to me, already eating his own bowl. I blinked a couple times before my hunger overtook me and I started eating.

The ramen was, for lack of a better description, divine. It was even better than Ichiraku Ramen with the special fishcakes I got on my birthday. It was, hands down, the best ramen I have ever eaten. Each noodle was a symphony of flavor across my tongue. Every drop of broth was an explosion of sensation in my brain. The heat of the bowl spread into and through my body, somehow enhancing the flavor ten-fold. This bowl of ramen was fit for the gods to eat, only somehow it had fallen into my hands.

Before I knew what happened, the bowl was up to my face and I was slurping down the excess broth. When it was all gone, I slowly lowered the bowl and stared at it. For some reason, that one bowl had filled me completely. It was the single most filling meal I'd ever eaten, even though the bowl itself was slightly smaller than the large ones at Ichiraku. I could put away over ten of those things in one sitting.

The sound of soft drips drew my attention back to the bowl where I saw drops of water falling to land on the porcelain surface. I blinked, finally feeling the itch in my eyes. I was _crying_ , I realized.

"What?" I croaked as I reached up and wiped the stream of tears from my face. "Tears?"

"Don't worry too much," my cousin said, drawing my attention. He too was looking down into his empty bowl, looking rather sad, but he didn't have any tears. "This is ramen made by my mother, and she was an especially good ramen cook. Before she left on her mission, she went on a ramen cooking spree. I've got quite a few bowls saved up." A sad looking smile flew across my cousin's face. "These are some of her bowls even. I'm… sad that she's gone now, but I am grateful to the powers that be that she died before the invasion. She caught a lung disease on that mission. It was to the Land of Water and there was no cure at the time. I have since learned that the cure was found during the Third War. Even if it's too late to save her, I'm glad that no one else has to die in similar manner."

I looked back down at my bowl.-No, my aunt's bowl. It's so weird thinking like that. It will probably take a while before I get used to having a family. –The idea struck me that perhaps the reason that I reacted to this ramen as I did was because it was made with all of the love of a mother for her son. I could feel tears spring anew to my eyes as I wondered if my own mother would have been able to make Ramen just as delicious as this, especially if it was for me.

Shaking my head to try and physically get rid of the heavy emotions flooding my head, I clapped my hands together and gave a small prayer of thanks, to the Ramen gods and to my aunt. With that complete, I remembered that I had a few questions that my cousin said he would answer once we got here. Turning to him, I asked, "So, so, you never told me how you found me!"

My cousin grinned. I was immediately on edge when I saw that grin, because I recognized it from my own face when I was about to prank someone. I swallowed and accepted that I would probably be getting a pie to the face or something when my cousin pointed behind me. I turned and felt the ground fall out from beneath me.

"Haku!"

* * *

A/N: So as you can tell, another self insert attempt. This one based on my fascination with all things Uzumaki. Let's face it, Kishimoto screwed that clan over six ways to Sunday. I'm pretty sure, with how much Uchiha-wank was going on in the Manga, that Kishimoto was an Uchihatard. I mean, all that emphasis on their 'special' eyes and how special the Uchiha are and how much more powerful than everyone else they are and how much smarter and so on and so forth… well, the Uzumaki Clan required 3 of the 5 Great Hidden Villages to band together along with several minor villages to invade a single, minor island village which couldn't have had more than five thousand forces at any one time to defend it from invasion. An invasion attempt of that size would likely have in it over fifty thousand forces total from all the participating villages. It took ten times the number of people to kill the entirety of Uzushiogakure and it took one thirteen year old _**boy**_ to kill off the Uchiha Clan. Comparatively speaking, the Uzumaki clan and whoever else lived in and defended Uzu at the time, were 10 times more badass than the average ninja and 100 times more hardcore than the Uchiha.

The reason for this can be traced back to Fuinjutsu, large chakra reserves, and super-charged life force. It doesn't matter how 'special' your eyes are if you can't avoid stepping into a Fuinjutsu array that sucks all of the chakra from your body. So you can create a giant made out of chakra and ride around in it like a swanky, diamond encrusted limousine? A well placed seal can transport your 'giant' into _**another dimension!**_ So you can summon Meteors from the sky? Fuinjutsu can **reverse gravity**. You wanna get into a Ninjutsu battle? Fine, Uzumaki can go all day with B and A Rank Ninjutsu, how long can you shoot those things out? Oh, you say you want to try a Taijutsu battle? Well, your 'special' eyes may give you an advantage, but your stamina sucks and you can't survive having your organs crushed or your spine broken.

Needless to say, I am not an Uchiha wanker. Quite the opposite, in my honest opinion. However, it is not my opinions I'm interested in now, but yours! Let me know what they are in a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	23. Trapped 3

**Naruto: Trapped**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

~ Chapter Three ~

 _The First Day_

* * *

"Team Seven, reporting for duty, Hokage-sama," Ian said. He held his hands clasped behind him at the small of his back while Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura stood before him. Sakura stood in a similar position to Ian, though she leaned sideways slightly toward Sasuke with a small blush on her face. Naruto had his arms cross, and though he was attempting to look grumpy, the blond couldn't hide his excitement and was bouncing on his heels. Sasuke had his hands shoved in his pockets and stared at the Hokage and Iruka sitting behind the Mission Desk while doing his best to ignore both his teammates.

"Ah, Team Seven," the Hokage said. "Are you ready for your first mission?"

"Oh yeah," Naruto said, his grumpy front thrown to the way side. He pumped his fist and then pointed at the Hokage. "We're ready to do whatever it takes. Lay it on us, Old Man! Just point us in the right *POW* Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Sakura-chaaan!" Naruto rubbed his tender head as his irate teammate shook her fist at him.

"Don't disrespect the Hokage, you idiot!" Sakura shouted. She waved her fist at Naruto again, as if threatening more of the same were he stupid enough to repeat the offense. Then she spun and bowed low to the Hokage. "I apologize for my stupid teammate, Hokage-sama!"

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered.

"Hahaha," the Hokage laughed. Beside him, Iruka held a scroll out for the Hokage while at the same time trying to keep from palming his face at Naruto's manners, or lack thereof. Ian worked to keep his face straight, but a slight smirk cracked that mask. "It's quite alright, Sakura. Now, for that mission." The Hokage took the scroll from Iruka and unrolled it. "Ah, yes, this is a good one to cut your teeth on. We have an elderly resident here in the village that has been having trouble with rodents digging into their small garden. They've already acquired the tools and material needed to build a fence, but they're unable to build it themselves. Your mission will be to root out any rodents still inside the garden and to build a fence with the material provided by the client."

"We accept the mission, Lord Hokage," Ian said. He walked forward and accepted the scroll from the Hokage. Before he turned to lead his team to the assignment, Ian leaned forward and quietly muttered, "I'll try and keep it interesting."

"I look forward to your success," the Hokage said. Whether it was to Ian or to the Genin standing idly behind him, no one knew.

* * *

The home with the garden was on the other side of the markets nearby the main southern gate into the village. The homes in this area of the village were spread farther apart, leaving room for a small yard, or in this case, a small garden. It was clear that the garden had seen better days. From the holes dug throughout the field and the lack of anything growing, it was apparent that the garden had been ravaged. Off to the side of the garden, along the wall of the house, was a stack of fresh wood, a couple of hammers, and a pile of nails.

"Alright," Ian said. He checked the scroll one more time. "This is the place. You heard the Hokage. Root out the rodents in the garden and build the fence. Get cracking."

"Alright!" Naruto shouted. "Those rats won't know what hit them." Naruto ran up to the first hole and pulled out a kunai. Then he paused and looked back over at the rest of his team. "Uh… how do we get them out?"

"That's a good question," Ian said. "Do you have any ideas how to go about clearing the field, Naruto?"

"Uh… couldn't we just call them out or… something?"

"That's not going to work, idiot," Sasuke said. "We'll probably have to smoke them out using a fire."

"Sasuke's so smart," Sakura said as she clasped her hands and grinned at her crush with a blush. Naruto twisted his face into a scowl as he muttered under his breath.

"I guess that could work," Ian said. Then he pointed at Sakura and asked, "Sakura, can you tell us the pros and cons of smoking the rodents out with a fire?"

"Ah, err… I…" Sakura glanced at Sasuke who was staring at her questioningly. Naruto was watching her as well, though he seemed a bit eager for her to shoot the plan down. Well she certainly wasn't going to do that, but being put on the spot had momentarily stopped her thoughts. "Well… there's nothing wrong with the idea. Nothing at all!"

"Stupid Sasuke," Naruto mumbled.

Ian sighed. "Sakura, look around. What is there to burn?" The three Genin looked about the garden, or what was left of it, and found a small clearing of lumpy earth and a few scattered weeds. The only fuel nearby was the wood that was going to be used for the fence. "It was a good idea, Sasuke, but not that well thought out." Sasuke glowered at Ian, who pointedly ignored him. "Sakura, do you have any ideas?"

"Umm…" She'd thought that Sasuke's idea was a good one. But, like Ian-sensei had pointed out, there was nothing to burn. And she remembered how Sasuke had been able to use that Fire jutsu the day before, but he'd only been able to use it once, so he'd not likely be able to use it on all the holes in the garden. There had to be another way, but what?

Ian sighed and palmed his face. "Alright, how about we think of this differently. You're not clearing out rats, but enemy forces from dug in tunnels that they've made. You know they're there, but they've entrenched themselves and built up defenses. You could smoke them out, as Sasuke suggested, but there land is arid, similar to how Rock country is, and there's not enough fuel for the fire. You could use Fire jutsu, but the cave is large, huge even, and your forces don't have enough chakra to power any Fire jutsu long enough to do the job. How do you get those enemy forces out into the open where you can deal a death blow to them?"

The three genin bowed their heads in thought. It was clear that each of them were thinking this one through as best as their training would allow. It wasn't long before Naruto's eyes lit up.

"I got it!" Naruto shouted. "We'll send in clones disguised as the enemy to trick them into thinking it's all clear outside. Then when the enemy comes out of the tunnels, we swoop in and take 'em out!"

"That'll never work," Sakura said doubtfully. On the inside, however, she was wondering why the idiot came up with that idea before she did. Sasuke's eyes were narrowed, but he didn't say anything as he considered the plan and then nodded.

"Well, Sakura, there's only one way to find out if it'll work or not," Ian said.

"Just leave this to me," Naruto said. He made the clone seal and said, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Two dozen copies of Naruto popped into existence around Team Seven. "Alright you guys," Naruto said, "you know what to do."

"Boss!" the clones all said as they saluted and then transformed. When the smoke from the jutsu cleared, all that was left was an army of orange furred rats.

"Gross!" Sakura screeched. She jumped backwards and then scrambled on top of the wood pile. Sasuke looked about with slight distaste, but otherwise didn't move.

"Be ready to actually take the real rats out when Naruto's clones push them out," Ian said as he leaped backwards and landed lightly on the house's roof. "And be careful, real rats are nasty little buggers."

The army of Naruto-rats charged for the holes in the garden. While the orange rat army charged, Naruto and Sasuke pulled out kunai and a few shuriken. Sakura hesitantly pulled out her own kunai and jumped down from the wood pile. It wasn't long before the first brown rat made its appearance. It was an ugly thing, with long incisor teeth and wild fear in its beady black eyes. It scrambled, hissed, and screeched as it emerged from its hole.

Sasuke immediately let loose the kunai he was holding and took the rat out. Then another rat popped out, Naruto managed to pin this one by the tail and Sasuke finished it off with a shuriken. As more and more rodents emerged, ranging from rats and mice to the one rabbit, Naruto and Sasuke went about killing their targets. Naruto wasn't as accurate as Sasuke, but his instincts on where to look for the next target were sharper. Sakura stood near the back and by the time the rodent killing frenzy was finished, she'd only managed to kill just one rat, and it was already wounded by Naruto's badly thrown kunai.

"Good job," Ian said as he hopped down from the roof. Sasuke and Naruto busied themselves with collecting their weapons and disposing of the dead rodents. While they did that, Ian turned to Sakura, who was sulking, and said, "Sakura, don't worry too much about not helping very much. This _is_ the first mission, after all."

"But Ian-sensei, I barely did anything," Sakura said pitifully. "I didn't even think the plan would work and when it did I barely lifted a finger to help."

Ian smiled. "And I'm telling you not to worry. The mission isn't over yet. Team work isn't only about doing an equal amount of work. It's also about sticking together through thick and thin."

Sakura looked up at Ian, though she didn't appear any happier or convinced. Ian smiled and nodded reassuringly at her before he moved into the center of the garden. Sakura followed him and the Team Seven regrouped.

"Alright, that's the first stage of the mission complete," Ian said.

"Yeah! Alright!" Naruto shouted. "I knew my plan would work! I'm just awesome!"

Sasuke grimaced and sneered at Naruto. "Shut up, you idiot. It was my idea to smoke them out in the first place."

"Regardless of whose idea it was," Ian cut in, "the plan was a success and it required both of you to make it work. So congratulations. Now, let's build a fence. After, I'll treat you three to lunch."

"Alright!" Naruto shouted and pumped his fist into the air. "Free ramen!"

"We're not really going to be eating ramen, are we?" Sakura groaned. Ian watched as she subconsciously ran her hand over her stomach. Sasuke ignored them all and had already started digging around the garden's perimeter with a shovel from the tools provided for the job.

"What's wrong with ramen?!" Naruto shouted. He waved his hands about in an exasperated manner. Sakura grimaced and shoved Naruto away from her before he could get any closer. "Ramen is the food of the gods! _The gods!_ "

"It's also not as healthy as a true balanced meal," Ian said, but he had a hand on his chin where he was rubbing his short beard thoughtfully. "That said, Teuchi-san does make some rather good and nutritious bowls of ramen. For now, focus on the mission and I'll worry about where I'm treating you three."

"Yes, sensei," the two said.

The fence was built over the course of several hours. Sasuke was rather adept at using a hammer and digging, likely stemming from attempts to upkeep the Uchiha Compound alone. Sakura didn't necessarily have the muscle power to do any of the heavy work, but she was quick to point out the better ways of constructing a wooden fence, and more importantly, how many nails to drive into the wooden cross beam that would hold the fence together. Naruto, as before, provided the man power to get the job done with generous use of Shadow Clones.

While Team Seven built the fence, Ian patrolled around the house and the garden. Sometimes, he could be seen watching over his students from the roof. Other times he'd be seen simply walking the perimeter of the garden. Shortly before the fence was finished, he was helping the elderly couple who owned the house into their home with their bags of groceries.

When Ian emerged, he found his team leaning against the side of the complete fence while they waited for him. Sakura had several dirt stains all over her and was covered in grime and dust. Sasuke was even dirtier, but he looked less concerned about it than Sakura did. Naruto was, somehow, still bright and clean looking, even though his orange jumpsuit was stained with dirt and his mop of yellow hair was not as bright as it usually was with the dirt all over it.

After inspecting the fence one last time, Ian nodded. "Alright, that's good work. This job actually counted as two missions, so you'll be getting two D-rank mission payments."

"Really?" Naruto asked, eyes bright with excitement. "Yes!" he shouted and pumped his fist. Sakura had looked pleased until Naruto's outburst, after which she was scowling at the blond. Sasuke as always was indifferently ignoring them both. "Hey! Do you think after lunch we can get another mission? Maybe saving a princess or rescuing a hostage or something cool like that?" Naruto paused momentarily and then was hasty to add, "Not that I don't like these boring missions."

"Naruto," Sakura scowled and took a half hearted swipe at him, not having enough energy to actually put more force behind her attack. He just grinned as her fist lightly thumped his head. "This isn't some fantasy story."

"Idiot," Sasuke said, though he secretly hoped that Ian-sensei would ask for a more difficult mission. This one was exhausting, true, but hardly a proper use of his talents. And he wouldn't be getting any stronger if all he did was build fences and kill rodents.

"What'd you say, Bastard?!" Naruto snarled, whirling on Sasuke with renewed energy.

"Calm down there, Naruto," Ian said as he grabbed the back of Naruto's jacket to keep him from going forward with his attack. Sasuke actually looked slightly saddened that he wasn't going to get to fight back. Sakura subtly concealed nervous sigh. "First, we'll report that we're finished with the mission. Then we'll get lunch. Then for the rest of the afternoon, we'll be training. Save your energy for later, cause that's when you'll be sparring with Sasuke and Sakura."

Ian let go of Naruto's jacket when he stopped trying to get at the Uchiha. He settled for grinning while glaring his challenge at Sasuke. Sasuke smirked and glared right back. Sakura opened her mouth to say something, but immediately closed it when her stomach rumbled loudly. Her face flushed a deep red when the others all turned to look at her.

* * *

When they sat down for lunch, it was Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and then Ian at an outside bar set up with stools for customers. They'd gone to one of the newer diners to open up in Konoha, a place that served the food sensation sweeping across the elemental nations. Hamburgers (1).

"Eh… this stuff's alright," Naruto had said at one point as he rested between his six burgers. "Doesn't come close to ramen, but it doesn't suck." Coming from Naruto, 'it doesn't suck,' compared to Ramen was about the same as saying 'this is really good.'

Sasuke snorted in response as he munched on his own mouthful of ground beef, lettuce, and tomato. He'd hesitantly ordered the burger, not sure if he'd enjoy it as much as he enjoyed any of the other foods he'd liked. He'd heard good things, of course. Lots of people seemed to love promoting their food and wares to him, even if he'd rather they leave him alone. After taking a few bites, he'd concluded that while most of those low born morons constantly assaulting him with their inane advertisements were beyond annoying, they were actually correct for once. Hamburgers weren't as bad as he feared. It wasn't the greatest food in the world, but he would never voice an opinion similar to the Idiot in front of the Idiot. So he sat and silently ate his burger while doing his abject best to ignore his teammates.

Sakura had ordered a small salad, only composed of lettuce. And a small water. That was all she thought would keep her diet intact. If she ate anything like that calorie laden slab of meat that both her crush and the Idiot were downing, she'd bloat up like a whale and then she'd lose any hope of catching Sasuke's heart. At the thought of Sasuke finally noticing her great figure and asking her out caused a light blush to appear on her cheeks.

The sound of someone putting something down in front of her made her open her eyes. Now in front of her were the fried sticks of potato that her sensei had gotten with his meal. When she looked over to Ian-sensei, she found him just finishing his own meal.

"I… I'm not hungry," she said as she pushed the food away. That's when she noticed the small note underneath it. She discretely glanced at sensei, but he was busy berating Naruto for his terrible eating habits. Pulling the note out, she unfolded the small piece of paper and read the words written.

' _Two things. One, if you want to look good to a real shinobi you're trying to 'attract', then you need to eat the proper nutrients, that includes carbs and protein. Two, if you don't eat these, you'll find out how some ninja force their targets to eat poison. P.S. - It's not pleasant._ '

Sakura's eyes widened and she looked up at Ian-sensei, or where he was, but now he was standing over Naruto and helping him learn how to eat like a civilized human being, instead of like a caveman. Naruto was grumbling as Sasuke watched on, clearly amused at the Idiot's comeuppance for bad table manners.

Swallowing loudly, Sakura pulled the pile of fried potato sticks back to her and picked on of the salty, greasy things up. It was warm between her fingers and she had to admit that they smelled pretty good. Her stomach agreed and rebelled against her desire to not sate her hunger. Her lips trembled as her will to resist crumbled and she quickly shoved the potato stick into her mouth.

She chewed it slowly at first, then faster, and then swallowed. Her stomach continued to grumble, clearly not satisfied with a small leafy salad and one potato stick. If anything, it made her hungrier than she was before. _This_ was why she didn't like eating things like this. It made it so hard to resist the temptation of the food. That wondrous, _glorious_ food!

She looked forlornly at the fries. If she gave in, if she let her will power fade, then she knew she'd bloat up like a whale and Ino-pig would win Sasuke in the end. No! She couldn't let that happen! She would win Sasuke, not Ino-pig! But… Sakura looked at the crumpled note in her fist. If she didn't eat these, then Ian-sensei would force her to eat them.

It couldn't be helped. She'd just have to skip dinner and breakfast to make up for this. This would simply have to be a momentary sacrifice on the road to claiming Sasuke. Besides, it wasn't like she ate much breakfast or dinner to begin with. And plus… these things tasted _so_ good!

By the time Sakura had finished the small basket of potato sticks, which was more of a flash of movement and then the basket was empty and Sakura was primly wiping her mouth, Naruto had finally finished his stack of burgers, three baskets of potato sticks (smothered in a thick layer of cheese and soy sauce, naturally), and two cups of tea (to wash it all down). As Team Seven stood, Ian patted Sakura on the head. After he paid, they left for the training ground.

* * *

"Alright, my little killers," Ian said as he hopped onto a stump. The stump was in the middle of the clearing in which they'd taken their genin test. Ian crossed his arms as he looked over the three genin. Then he nodded as if coming to a conclusion. "Since this is the first training session I'll give you a short run down of what's going to be happening every day from here on out. First we'll do some stretches and then work on any basic study we'll need to firm up until you've got that mastered. Then we'll move on to more advanced topics, such as jutsu and improving chakra capacity and so on." The three of them nodded, clearly expecting such things. Naruto looked excited. Sakura looked expectant. Sasuke looked bored and shot angry frowns at his teammates.

Ian grinned rather sadistically.

"I'll only be going easy on you today," Ian said. "Tomorrow, I'll be pushing you three so hard that by the end of the day you'll feel like you'd rather die than continue on, but I won't let you die. None of you will like it, at first. You will be on a fist name basis with the Shinigami at the end of the first month and by the time I'm done with you and you take the Chunin Exam, you'll be on your way to becoming the next set of Legendary Sannin." Ian paused as he looked over the incredulous and skeptical looks he was receiving from Naruto and Sakura.

Sakura actually had a bit of fear mixed in with her skepticism. She'd already been proven wrong today when Naruto's idea worked. On top of that, Ian-sensei had already threatened to force feed her. She'd seen how easily Ian-sensei had overpowered them on this very field. The crater from Sasuke's failed attack was still over there, along with the remnants of the bag of flour.

Naruto, from the incredulous look he was giving Ian, probably didn't know what Ian-sensei was talking about. He had to work harder than everyone else just to get as good as he was. That left the question: Wasn't it normal to work like the dogs of hell were on your heels? Whatever Ian-sensei dished out would be a cake walk compared to the training he put himself through already. And when he pulled through the other side of the training and was the most badass of all ninja, he'd finally get Sakura to go out on a date with him.

Sasuke, unlike his compatriots, was no longer bored and angry, but rather smirking. Finally, someone who would give him what he wanted. Power.

"First, while I saw some of your taijutsu skills during the test yesterday, I'd like to get a full understanding of what level each of you are at," Ian said. "So please do a run through of the different styles you know and we'll go from there."

Sakura had perfect form. Ian had come to expect that, all things considered. It also wasn't surprising that she only knew the Konoha Basic Style. Despite her perfect run-through of the different stances and forms, there was no power behind her moves. There was no passion in her motions. She was just moving her body into the correct places and that was it. Not the worst way for a genin to start off, indeed, probably the best.

Naruto was, if possible, the exact opposite of Sakura. He had no form, rather, he'd just run around punching and kicking in a straight line while screaming his head off. Sadly, Ian had come to expect that as well. That no one had taught him the Konoha Basic Style at all was a travesty, but Ian wasn't worried. Something about the way he punched told him this display was a complete and utter lie. If Naruto was good at anything, he was good at hiding his true face. The reason Ian followed that line of thought was because of the full bodied power Naruto was throwing behind his attacks. Every time he punched, the attack originated from the soles of his feet. Every time he kicked, the attack originated from his shoulders or his waist. No, it was supposed to look like the feeble attacks of an untrained idiot. Ian smirked. His mother's influence, no doubt.

Sasuke did a near perfect run-through of the Konoha Basic Style. He had a fairly strong grasp of it and managed to put more power into his hits, unlike Sakura. Despite this, his form wasn't nearly as perfect, sacrificing that for the power he'd pushed into the blows. After that, Sasuke did a fairly decent showing of the Basic Uchiha Style. That showing was vastly more impressive and it was clear that youth put a lot of effort into perfecting what he knew of the style. The difference between the two styles lay in the initial stance and the speed with which one can move through the following forms.

Konoha Basic, and all the styles that flowed from that, such as the parent style Strong Fist, was focused on balancing attack and defense. One could move well enough from one strike to the next, but the style sacrificed speed to allow the ninja to defend themselves from any retaliations. Uchiha Style, made famous by the clan itself, was focused on strength and speed at the expense of defense. One attack flowed straight into the next one, ending up with huge combo counts that could be repeated as long as the ninja didn't tire and in any combination the ninja desired. The best defense is a good offense, as the saying goes, and a really fast and super strong ninja was usually the one who ended up on top. The Gentle Fist of the Hyuuga followed the same principle, though replacing strong power with soft power. Both the Uchiha Style and the Hyuuga style were comparable in strength, though the Uchiha Sharingan generally won out over the Hyuuga Byakugan.

When Sasuke was finished, Ian nodded to himself and hopped down from the stump. "Alrighty, first we'll warm up with twenty minutes of stretching. After today, I expect you to be doing this before you leave your homes. When we're done stretching, Naruto, I want you to create four shadow clones. I'll work with the clones and Sakura while you and Sasuke spar. Taijutsu only, no weapons. You'll have plenty of time to use them later."

"Yes sensei."

Ian grinned as he watched his team move as instructed. Maybe taking this assignment wasn't so bad after all. It certainly wasn't as terrifying as he imagined it to be.

While the three genin stretched, Naruto falling over half the time only to swear loudly as he got back up, a shadow dropped from one of the trees to land silently next to Ian. Ian tilted his head in greeting, even though the silver-haired ninja was behind him. Kakashi did an eye-smile and moved to stand next to Ian.

"So, how's the first day going?" Kakashi asked as he pulled an orange book from his back pouch and opened it to read. Ian ignored Kakashi's antics as he watched the Genin continue their stretching.

"Not too bad," Ian said. "I believe Naruto has potential as a battle field commander, maybe sub-commander, were he to gain enough experience. Sasuke got a good head on his shoulders but seems to have trouble with being original, not to mention he's _only_ half bat-shit insane. Sakura lacks confidence, but I swear I am catching glimpses of a spine of steel underneath all those girly-girl layers. She's still the weakest of them though, physically. Definitely capable of analyzing fast, though. Over all, not a bad team, despite the work it'll take to break their shells."

"I see," Kakashi said as he calmly turned the page. "What's the plan then?"

"The goal is mid to high chunin level by the exam in a few months," Ian said. "The method is Hell Training."

"Hell Training?" Kakashi's book wavered for half a second. "That's restricted to ANBU for a reason. Perhaps there's a better method to use."

"No, there isn't enough time," Ian said. He crossed his arms. To anyone looking, they weren't talking. Instead, both were watching the three genin continue their stretches with the watchful eyes of a teacher. "I'd rather push them harder than that, actually, but I don't think they would all survive."

Naruto continued to fall over, he seemed to have a balance problem that no one had corrected. Sakura tried not to blush as she watched Sasuke do his stretches rather than concentrate on her own, amazing anyone who would have looked that she could do both activities at the same time without falling over as much as Naruto. Sasuke ignored both his teammates as he did his best to get as limber for the spar as possible.

"I can see what you mean," Kakashi said. The ridiculousness of that statement was that Kakashi hadn't looked up from his book once. "I'll just assume that the Hokage has approved your use of the training program then."

"He's given me a nod," Ian said. "I doubt he could have done more than that. The eyes who watch the god never blink, after all."

"Oh, that's a new one," Kakashi said. "Well, in any case, they look about done. Let's continue this conversation later."

"Kakashi," Ian said rather loudly. "Thanks for dropping by. Any hints for my lovely little killers?"

"These punks?" Kakashi asked, lackadaisically flinging his hand in their direction. "They'll be dead before the week's out. Not worth it, in my opinion. Smell you three later."

With that said, Kakashi waved, eye-smiled at the shocked genin, and vanished in a Body-Flicker. Ian let out a soft sigh-snort and turned to his team. What he found was exactly what he expected.

Sasuke was glaring at the spot that Kakashi had been in. No doubt, thoughts about murdering the one-eyed Jounin were going through his head, along with further self-declarations of determination to succeed no matter what. That would be followed, if Ian was guessing correctly, by reassurances to himself that he wasn't the dead last, Naruto was, and anything that both the One-eyed Bastard or Ian-sensei could dish out, he could handle. His brother could handle it, and that means he can handle it.

As if to confirm what Ian was suspecting, Sasuke's glare morphed into a smirk of triumph. Ian shook his head at how easy to read the kid was. Next to Sasuke, Naruto was grinding his teeth and his hands were clenched. Ian could actually see the internal rage steaming off of the blond, or was that chakra. No matter, Naruto was just underestimated and he'd prove them wrong. He'd prove them all wrong.

Sakura, unlike her enraged teammates, was shivering. No, shaking. Her eyes were wide open as she stared at the spot Kakashi had been. Her mouth hung open slightly as a tick formed on her eyebrow. Clearly, she was having problems rebooting her brain. Either that or, Ian suspected, she was trying to envision what kind of training would kill a person.

Ian groaned and palmed his face. They were all too easy to read. The sound of his groan broke whatever spell Kakashi's check-up had over them.

"Ian-sensei, what the hell is with that guy!" Naruto shouted. "He just comes in here and tells us we're going to die and then runs off. What the hell! We're not some weak academy students anymore! We're genin now! Ninja! We're not that weak! And I'm going to be Hokage! No way in _hell_ I'm going to die! Dattebayo!"

Sasuke snorted in agreement. Then, realizing what he'd done, he snorted again, grimaced and turned away from Naruto and Sakura. His face was clearly a little red, though.

Sakura looked a lot calmer now. She was still breathing a little quickly, but her eyes shone with more determination than before. ' _Cha! The Idiot is right!'_ she thought. ' _I'll definitely not die until I have Sasuke! Shannaro!'_

' _Congratulations Kakashi,'_ Ian thought. ' _Mission: Encourage the Little Killers is a smashing success._ '

"Hatake-san," Ian said, "is technically the one assigned as Jounin-sensei to Team Seven. I'm here at the request of the Hokage and Kakashi."

"Wait…" Everyone waited while Naruto looked deep in thought. "I don't get it."

Everyone groaned. "Idiot," Sasuke said.

Before Naruto could upgrade his scowl at the Uchiha to attack mode, Ian said, "As I said when we first met, this is my first team of Genin. With a team as important as this one, the village Elders and the Hokage wanted an experienced Jounin to be in charge of training it. That Jounin is Kakashi Hatake."

Each student then assumed that they were the reason the team was so important. Naruto, because obviously he was going to be Hokage. Sasuke, because he was an Uchiha, the Rookie of the Year, and the controlling interest of the very large Uchiha Estate. Sakura, because she was the Kunoichi Rookie of the Year, barely, and because she assumed the Elders and the Hokage were going to _force_ Sasuke to marry her. They were all wrong.

"I'll just assume that you're all thinking of reasons why this team is important," Ian said, "but for propriety, I'll give you the real reason. The reason is because this is Team Seven who passed the genin exam. Every Team Seven that's passed before this one has gone on to shape the course of world events. No ifs, ands, or buts. It may sound a bit superstitious, but it's been true so far. The first Team Seven, trained by the Nidaime Hokage, contained the Sandaime Hokage and two of the three village Elders. They, obviously, went on to lead Konohagakure to the top of the elemental nation dog-pile. The second Team Seven, trained by the Sandaime, became the Legendary Three Ninja. And yes, they _are_ legendary. The third Team Seven, trained by Lord Jiraiya of the Sannin, included the Yondaime Hokage, arguably the single strongest shinobi to come about since the Sage of Six Paths. Before the Yondaime became Hokage, he trained the fourth Team Seven, which included Hatake-san. And now we have the fifth Team Seven, you three, who are technically under the command of Hatake-san. Needless to say, the Hokage and the Elders expect great things from each of you."

"Wow…" Naruto said with stars in his eyes. A giant grin split his face. "That's so awesome! I'm in the same team as the Fourth Hokage and the Old Man! There's no way I can't become Hokage now!"

"Ian-sensei," Sakura said, timidly raising her hand. "If Hatake-san is our sensei, why are you teaching us?"

"You said the Hokage and… _that_ man, requested your assistance," Sasuke said. Ian arched one of his eyebrows. Clearly, there was no love lost between Sasuke and Kakashi.

"Yes," Ian said. "While the Hokage and the Elders entrusted your training to Hatake-san, he is unable to actually do that because of other priorities the Hokage has assigned to him. They both came together and decided that I would be an adequate replacement and requested that I take over for the foreseeable future. Basically, that just means that Kakashi gave Team Seven to me while he gets to keep his name on the paper work. Not a bad deal, since that means I don't have to fill out any paper work regarding the team, aside from mission reports."

What Ian didn't mention was all the back room politics and other crap he'd gone through just to be allowed to do this. Kakashi wasn't just coming by every now and then to casually chat with Ian, but to check his progress and report that to the Hokage. It wasn't that the Hokage didn't trust Ian, but as the Old Man put it, Ian's ability to train anyone, let alone a team with such potential, was in question. With this team in particular, and the Elders breathing down his neck, the Hokage had to be very careful. Ian didn't mind really, since he knew what the Hokage was going through to allow him this chance and if the Old Man wanted reports, then the Old Man could have his reports. Some of the Third's paper work was self inflicted.

"So," Ian said, "before we get any farther off track, let's get back to training. Naruto, four clones please. Then you and Sasuke can go beat the snot out of each other. Remember, Taijutsu only and no weapons. I don't want to have to deal with paying for repairs to the training ground from the stray Ninjutsu either. Sasuke, use only the Uchiha Style. Naruto, do try and remember what style you were taught. Running around screaming is _not_ a style. Don't stop the match until I come back to say so. If one of you falls down, the other will let them get back up before you go at it again. This is training, not a grudge match."

As the boys got to fighting, Ian led Sakura and the Naruto clones off a little ways. Already Naruto was screaming loud enough to find him from the other side of the forest. At least he was giving it his all out there.

Once they were far enough away, Ian turned and pointed at two of the Naruto clones. "You two are going to learn the proper stances and forms of the Konoha Basic from Sakura here," he said. "After she teaches them to you, you're going to practice them for an hour."

"Right, Sensei!" the clones said. Ian motioned toward Sakura, who hesitantly began with the opening stance of the Konoha Basic. Ian then dragged the remaining two clones away into the forest.

Once they were far enough away, Ian said, "Ok, I know you're both clones, but I have to ask you to show me your real style. I know your mother would like you to keep it secret because she told me so. But it's still important that I see it. So, if you would, please show me the real reason you were running around and screaming."

The two clones were silent as they found interesting things in the dirt to look at. One of them even kicked a small stone into a nearby tree. Ian shook his head and snapped his fingers in front of their faces.

"I'm sorry, Ian-sensei," one of the clones said. "Mom told us not to ever reveal the style unless-"

"Unless your life was in danger, your teammate's life was in danger, your friend's life was in danger, or you had no other way of defeating an enemy who would put those three group's life in danger," Ian finished. "Yes, yes. I know the whole spiel. I've heard it before from your mother and I'm telling you now that if you don't show me what you know of the Uzumaki Style, I'm going to kick you off the team for putting your teammate's lives in danger. Then I'm going to march you back to your house and tell your mother exactly why you decided to put their lives in danger. You _can_ trust us, Naruto. We're your teammates and if we don't know what to expect of you then we can't trust you in return. There can be no secrets between teammates."

The two clones were staring at Ian with something akin to a mixture of fear, terror, and awe. _'He's evil! Pure evil! Mom would kill me!'_ Both clones swallowed loudly.

"Now," Ian said. "Show me what you know. You don't have it mastered yet, but you understand enough of it to put power behind your strikes, which is what I'm going to have you teaching Sakura here in a few minutes."

And so they did. The Uzumaki Style was a lost art. The last remaining Uzumaki, Naruto's mother, spent years of her life putting the style back together after the clan's demise in Uzushiogakure, the hidden village destroyed in the Second Shinobi World War. The woman was never a master of it to begin with, but being the last Uzumaki put the onus on her to save it or let it go for the rest of time. Seeing as Naruto and his children would inherit the style, it was safe for Ian to assume his mother had been teaching Naruto what she could.

What the clones showed Ian was a style that involved a lot of twisting, spinning, leaping, redirecting, dodging, and a slow, steady, inexorable progress forward. It really did take after its namesake and it was easy for Ian to see how Naruto wasn't able to hide the part of the training that powered every one of his hits. Every attack started as far back in Naruto's body as possible. A spinning kick, high or low, started in Naruto's shoulders, if not his head. A punch started at the soles of his feet. Every scrap of energy was focused into a whirling barrage of attacks that any other Genin would be hard pressed to defend against.

As Naruto started winding down, it was clear to Ian that the style wasn't anywhere near completed. The attacks only moved in a straight line. While it would be easier to deflect side attacks with this style than with the Konoha basic, it wouldn't stop them from being effective. But the innate nature of the style meant that this weakness could be snuffed out by refining it even further.

"Very good, Naruto," Ian said. "I'm sure your mother is proud of you. Now, I don't want you to feel like you have to show your teammates this, but you should find some way of letting them know you're not as inept at fighting as you let on. That said, Sakura needs work focusing the power of her hits. So I'd like you two to help her learn how to, say, throw a punch from the soles of her feet, or kick from her shoulders. It will help her be stronger and keep the team safer. Not to mention, she may just give you brownie points for being so helpful without asking for a date."

"Wha-we weren't going to ask for a date," Naruto's clone mumbled.

When the three emerged from the forest, they found Sakura leading the two clones in a string of stances. Kick. Kick. Punch. Kick. Punch. Leg sweep. Jump kick. Uppercut. Roundhouse kick. Backflip axe-strike kick. Amazingly, both clones were following in almost exact detail. They may have had problems with their foot work, but they were following along quite well.

"Wow, Sakura," Ian said, "you're a good teacher."

Sakura fumbled the landing from the last jump kick, wobbling back and forth. When she caught her balance, she faced Ian and almost scolded him. But she held back when she saw the grin he was giving her and blushed lightly. He wasn't Sasuke, but Ian-sensei was praising her abilities. It always felt good to be praised. "Thank you, sensei," she mumbled.

"Ne, ne," one of the clones said. "Sakura-chan is a good teacher! Way better than that bastard, Mizuki."

"Thanks… Naruto," Sakura said. Her blush brightened a little bit at the praise.

"Hey, do you think after this we can go on a d-"

POW!

The clone vanished in a puff of smoke. Ian took a step back and motioned toward the other two clones he'd talked to. The first clone, third clone, and Sakura stared at Ian as he started walking away.

"Now remember," Ian said over his shoulder, "play nice, but remember, this is training. Try to take it as seriously as life and death. Because it is." And then Ian was gone, past some trees, as he made his way toward where the real Naruto and Sasuke were having a no holds bar beat down.

Sakura turned to the remaining clones and shivered. All embarrassment from praise was now gone, because she just realized, she was surrounded by Naruto. This… couldn't end well.

"Sakura-chan," said the last remaining clone that she'd been training, "I think he was going to-"

"Hey, you should get back to doing those poses," one of the other clones said. He quickly walked up to the other Naruto, smacked a hand over his mouth, and quickly dragged him away. "Let's go over here where you can show them to me!"

"What was that all about?" Sakura asked to no one. The last clone heard her, however, and chose to respond with a grin and a thumbs up.

"Don't worry about that, Sakura-chan!" The clone said. "Ian-sensei wanted me to show you how to put more power into your hits. He said that I got the ability to teach you something, so that you can be a kick ass ninja too!"

"Uh… I… Are you sure that's what Ian-sensei said?" Sakura asked, repressing the urge to shiver violently. If Naruto, of all people, had something to teach her, then the world was ending. She looked up to check if the sky was falling. No… well that cloud looked kind of low, dark, and full of rain. Damn, the sky wasn't falling. Sakura sighed, resigned to her fate, as she turned to the Naruto clone for instruction.

* * *

Ian hopped up into a tree and parted the branches to get a good overview of the battlefield. And it was a battle field. It seemed like in the twenty minutes or so he'd taken to get Sakura started, Naruto and Sasuke had managed to beat each other to a bloody pulp and left a trail of destruction wherever they went.

Off to his right, Ian saw a couple of trees that had pockmarks in the from blows that had missed. To his left, a tree was smoldering. Off on the other side of the clearing, was a brand new crater that also sported a rising pillar of smoke. And across the grassy clearing were streaks of blood. As he took it in, Ian was amazed the two of them could actually produce enough blood to cover that much territory.

"I suppose someone had the bright idea to forget the 'Taijutsu only' part of my instructions," Ian said. A small smile appeared on his face. "This means punishment training. I love punishment training." It only got disturbing when the person being punished began to enjoy the punishment, which wasn't often, but it had happened. Not many people enjoyed getting their asses kicked so thoroughly.

With a light jump, Ian appeared in the middle of the field just in time to catch the bloody fist Naruto threw at the smirking face of Sasuke with one hand, and with the other he caught the burned to a crisp ninja sandal wrapped around Sasuke's foot that had been headed for Naruto's grinning bloody face. Neither boy registered that Ian was even there for half a second, both enjoying the glare and the grin they were giving and receiving. When they did wake up from their battle lust, they looked up, their mouths hanging open in shock, at the sadistic grin Ian had.

They both thought simultaneously, ' _Oh shit._ '

"You two seem to have a problem following orders," Ian said. He could barely keep a giddy chuckle from escaping as he tightened his grip on the two appendages. "I suppose that means you two require Punishment Training."

"Uh… hehehe…" Naruto tried to pull his hand back, but Ian tightened his grip further. "Ian-sensei… uh… sorry?"

"I told you not to use Ninjutsu," Sasuke mutter.

"You're the one who blew that giant ass fire ball at me!" Naruto exploded.

"Then why did you try to take my head off with that giant Shuriken?!" Sasuke shot back.

"Boys, boys," Ian said. This time he did chuckle, darkly. "It doesn't matter who started it. Now, it's time to receive your punishment training. Your punishment is you have to fight me. And I'm not going to go easy on you like during the genin test."

Ian grinned at the two gleefully. Both boys felt a shiver of fear like nothing they'd ever experience before. The next thing either knew, they were flying, straight up.

* * *

"And that's how you throw a punch from the soles of your feet," Naruto's clone said.

"Hah!" Sakrua did as the clone had demonstrated and threw a punch. It was just like every other punch she'd thrown. Really, the only difference was the slight pressure sensation as the blood in her arm seemed to be flung into her fist for just a second. She frowned, realizing that feeling was _not_ normal.

Was changing her body's movements that little making that much of a difference? She hadn't actually messed up the form or the stance, and yet, the punch was stronger just because she'd started the punch from her feet. Curious, Sakura started going through the rest of the stances, exactly what she and the clones she was leading before were doing, only this time she was starting each blow, as best she could, from as far back as she could. Each punch started in her feet, or lower legs. Each kick tended to start in her waist, instead of the opposite shoulder, but that didn't mean the kick didn't feel more just that much stronger than it normally did.

When Sakura had run through the entire set four times, she was sweating and smiling in wonder as she look with wide green eyes down at her shaking hands. Her muscles ached from doing something she'd normally done over a dozen times without breaking a sweat. Why? Why was it harder now and not before? She wasn't doing wrong any of the stances she'd studied so hard to learn in the academy, so why was it like she'd just learned them over again? Why hadn't the academy gone over anything like this? Maybe it was a more advanced theory, but if that were the case, how did Naruto know it when he didn't know any style at all?

"Way to go, Sakura-chan!" Naruto's clone cheered as he jumped into the air. Sakura felt like jumping too, even though her legs burned as if she'd just done twenty run-throughs instead of four. She looked up, grinning just in time to see the Naruto and Sasuke, covered in bruises and bleeding from cuts, land in the clearing right on top of the clone, which dispelled.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted as her heart leaped into her throat. She ran up to Sasuke and screamed "Sasuke-kun! Please don't be dead! Oh, no, no, no, no!" When she noticed the blond starting to stir next to her crush, she reached over, grabbed the lapels of his torn orange jacket, and ignored the burning cries of her arm muscles to wrench the Idiot closer so they were face to face. Then she glared as hard as she could, as if she could set him on fire with the sharpness of her green eyes. "Naruto! What did you do to Sasuke-kun, you _IDIOT_?!"

Naruto opened his mouth and closed it as his eyes rolled around and blood continued to leak from the cuts on his face. Sakura ignored the red getting on her hands and cloths as she shook the blond until his eyes were finally focusing on her. When Naruto finally recognized who he was looking, his pupils shrank to mere dots.

"Sa-Sakura-chan," Naruto said, his voice shaking. "R-run! R-run! He's a- He's a monster! Run!"

Sakura would have been taken aback by this. Naruto was normally all too eager to get her forgiveness for any perceived slight, usually when he got in between her and Sasuke. But this time he wasn't worried about that at all. Why was he telling her to run? Those thoughts were pushed aside when she heard Sasuke groan from where he was laid out. Sakura immediately dumped Naruto to move next to Sasuke and started fretting about to make sure he was okay.

"I'm sorry Sensei!" the bloody broken mess that was Uzumaki Naruto cried from behind her. She didn't really pay attention since Sasuke looked worse than the blond idiot did. "We were bad! We were bad and needed to be punished! Please! Please forgive us!"

"Sakura," Ian called out as he slowly approached. She looked up and saw the clone who was teaching her running off as sensei walked toward her and her teammates. "Please move away from your teammates. They're undergoing punishment training."

"Wha-but Sensei!" Sakura cried, tears in her eyes, "Sasuke's hurt! You… you did this? Why? Why did you do this? What did Sasuke do to deserve this?"

"Uhn…." Sasuke groaned.

"Sakura," Ian said softly as he came to a stop next to the children. Naruto shivered on the ground behind her and Sasuke was moving slightly but was still unconscious. "They disobeyed a direct order. Now, there is nothing wrong with disobeying an order as long as there's a good reason and you're willing to accept the consequences of your actions. I specifically told Naruto and Sasuke to use only Taijutsu, but I get back to the clearing to find they're using Ninjutsu and weapons. They had no good reason, since it was clearly an escalation of their egos. They both wanted to win at any cost. This is the cost. Now, please move so I may continue their punishment. If you don't, you too will need to accept the consequences of your actions."

Sakura looked up at Ian with a tear streaked terror stricken expression. Without consciously telling it to do so, her body moved itself away from her two teammates. This was, without a doubt, the most fear she'd ever felt in her entire life. The idle thought that she was just letting Ian-sensei get away with killing Sasuke ran through her mind, and for a brief instant, a spark of fire lit within her and then wilted under the intense pressure of reality. She was too weak to make a difference. There was no way she'd be able to defend her teammates as she was now.

This thought, combined with a final glimpse of a resigned Naruto just before Ian left her view that brought the spark back. It summoned a memory of Naruto at the Academy, when he and Sasuke were paired up to spar. Sasuke was clearly the stronger, tossing Naruto around like a child's toy. But Naruto continued to get back up and ran stupidly back into the fight. He really was a stubborn idiot, but the look in his eyes was something she didn't seem to be able to forget. He had the strength to fight against Sasuke even though he knew he was going to lose.

" _I'll never give up-ttebayo! Not now! Not ever! That's my nindoooo!"_

And then she remembered their Genin exam battle with Ian-sensei. She was useless in that battle too. She gave up before ever lifting a finger to fight or try getting a bell. Instead she'd sat by the downed Sasuke and cried. They would have probably failed if all of them worked together, but the point of the test was to see if they could put aside their differences and work as a team.

" _There's still time for you to try and get a bell… though from what I've seen, I highly doubt you'll succeed any better than these two_ _ **on your own**_ _."_

After that, there was the D-rank mission they'd had earlier that morning. Their plan to smoke the rats out of their nests wouldn't have worked if it had only been one of them. She'd thought that Naruto's stupid idea wouldn't have worked, and then when it did she was useless again.

Sakura reached her arm up and rubbed the tears away from her face. "I… I guess I really am useless…" She choked back a sob as she tried to regain control over her emotions.

" _Team work isn't only about doing an equal amount of work. It's also about sticking together through thick and thin."_

And finally it clicked. Their sensei wasn't a complete sadistic bastard… most of the time. He was just waiting for them to act like a single unit. To act like a team!

And just like that, the spark ignited a fire.

* * *

"Nooo…" Naruto moaned when a flash of pink entered his vision. He and Sasuke could take this. Sakura was too weak to take it. Why was she running toward them?

"Ian-sensei!" Sakura cried out as she landed before the man. He arched his eyebrow and tilted his head to inspect the out of breath girl standing before him with her hands stretched out. "I-I can't let you punish them anymore."

"Sakura, are you sure you want to go down this path?" Ian asked. "There's no going back."

"I'm sure," Sakura said. She swallowed, but her breathing was coming back under control, and firmed her back as she stood. "Please, Sensei, stop hurting them."

"I'll give you a choice, then," Ian said. He nodded to the two boys in his hands. "Whose place will you take?"

"Um…" Sakura hesitated, looking back and forth between Naruto and Sasuke. If she could do something to help Sasuke, maybe he'd pay more attention to her. But at the same time, Naruto looked worse off than her crush. He was pale, trembling constantly, and was covered in much more blood. So much blood. Sasuke, comparatively, looked a little better and healthier. "I choose N-"

"Sasuke," Naruto said with a snarl. "I can take it. Leave the bastard out of this. Come on, sensei. I'll take Sakura's punishment too. Give me all you got cause it don't matter how much you throw at me, I'll just get back up and keep going. I'm going to be Hokage! I'm going to… goooinnng toooooo…" Naruto slowly drifted off and slumped in Ian's hand.

"Sasuke it is," Ian said. He dropped Sasuke on the ground and Sakura let out a little squeak. Before she could even think of what was going to happen next, Ian had already thrown Naruto at her. She didn't react in time and quickly found herself on the ground with the air knocked out of her.

* * *

"I guess that means you're dead now," Ian said.

Sakura frowned as she regained her breath and rolled Naruto's bloody body off of her. She decided to stay on the ground, still breathing hard from a combination of nerves and the impact. "What do you mean, sensei?"

"What I'm saying," Ian said as he stooped down next to the girl, "is that you're currently not strong enough to even sacrifice yourself to save your comrades. If that truly is your goal, then you should become strong so that in the future, when these two idiots get into trouble, you're capable of pulling their asses out of the fire." Ian snorted and then added, "And who knows. Maybe they'll start looking at you as a teammate instead of the girl they want to date and that pink haired fan-girl."

Sakura covered her face with her hands and groaned. Ian smirked as he stood and moved to pick Sasuke up. Silence reigned in the small section of forest as a cool breeze blew though, rustling the leaves of the tree canopy. Slowly, Sakura got back to her feet and brushed the dirt and grime from her dress.

"Come on," Ian said as he lifted Naruto up, "let's take these two boneheads and set up a camp so I can give your real punishment training."

"S-sensei?!" Sakura half whispered, half cried. She stared at the man as he smiled at her. It was such a weird thing to see when he'd just threatened her.

"Training, not a beating," Ian said. "These two don't learn anything unless you beat it into them. You have the exceptional ability to listen to instruction. So I'll be sparring with you and asking you questions at the same time to improve your situational thinking speed. We'll do that until night fall. Alright."

"Oh…" Sakura's shoulders slumped as a wave of relief washed over her. She didn't think she could take what Naruto and Sasuke could. Not yet, anyway. "Alright then, Sensei!"

* * *

Sasuke awoke with a start. He found himself sitting upright against a tree on the edge of a small clearing. It was a campsite now, made obvious from the small fire crackling in the middle of their group. Naruto was off to his right. Sakura to his left. Ian-sensei was not to be seen.

Where was he? What had happened? How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was fighting against Naruto. Well, it was more like he was owning the Idiot in taijutsu and then the Idiot broke out a bunch of clones. It only escalated into a full tilt battle from there, which wasn't to say it was any harder for him than before, just more engaging. And then sensei showed up.

Sensei!

Now he remembered. Sensei beat the ever living crap out of them both. The last thing he saw before the darkness took him was the ground rushing up at him way too fast. Normally, a drop like that wouldn't have been an issue, but sensei had broken both his leg and his arm. He thought he was going to die, but that assumption proved to be wrong if the current situation was any indication.

Sasuke did a quick once over of his body. Nothing seemed out of place. His hands moved in the right way and his arms and legs weren't broken any longer. Even the large bruises he expected to see covering his body were absent. Had Sensei gotten a healer? It was the only logical assumption to make since he wasn't in the hospital at the time.

He heard groaning and looked to his right to see the Idiot slowly coming too. He smirked with some satisfaction when the blond started grumbling about how his back hurt from laying on a rock. But now that the Idiot was awake, his peace and quiet had gone away. His smirk slowly devolved into the scowl that seemed ever present on his face anymore.

"What happened?" Naruto groaned as he sat up. "I feel like I did that one time mom caught me eating ramen after I went to bed…" He watched the Idiot look around the camp site, first noticing him and then Sakura, who was sleeping soundly on her own with a small rock under her head instead of any kind of pillow. "How much time has gone by? And where's sensei?"

"Here's a hint," he heard Sensei say, "look up." Both he and Naruto looked up and found their sensei sitting on the branch of a tree just above them. Sensei gave them a little wave from his laid back position against the truck of the tree, but his dark and serious expression were anything but laid back. "You two get the message? Or do we need to continue our punishment training?"

"No," both he and Naruto said way too fast to sound casual.

"Good," Ian said with a nod. "It would seem you two _can_ learn. Next time you don't follow instructions, the consequences might not be me beating the crap out of you as punishment, but the enemy killing you and your comrades, or people you care about, or your mission is lost, or any other number of very bad things. Now, I'm not telling you to never disobey orders, just to consider the price of doing so. Everything has a cost, even that little stunt you two pulled when you were sparring. The price a ninja pays for breaking the rules, even if it was the right thing to do, is always going to be a hundred times harsher than the price a civilian pays. You're no longer civilians, so I'm not going to cut you any slack." Ian stared at the two boys for a moment longer before he smiled. "With that out of the way, there's food in the sack next to Sakura over there. Just don't wake her. She trained pretty hard and I'm sure she'd rather sleep than deal with you two boneheads."

"Alright!" Naruto shouted, "Foo-"

"SHHHH!" Ian and Sasuke both shushed Naruto at the same time. He immediately looked contrite and all three looked to Sakura to see if she'd awoken. Fortunately, Sakura had only turned her head a little but otherwise remained asleep.

"Sorry," Naruto said, much softer this time.

Sasuke stood and looked up at his Ian. "Sensei, is every day going to be like this?" he asked.

"A whole day of working, training, and more working?" Ian asked rhetorically. He paused as if he were actually considering the question. Then he closed his eyes and nodded sagely. "Yes, young grasshopper. This and all the days this week will be like this. It's one thing to read about survival training and practice it at school. It's entirely another to live it for any amount of time. By the end of this week, you'll be seeing sides of each other you'd rather have kept private. But, you're a team now. The notion of privacy is a luxury you three can no longer afford."

"Wait," Naruto said, his mouth stuffed with ration bars. "We're not going to be staying at our homes? What about Sakura's parents? And I got some plants I gotta water, so can I at least go home to water them?"

"We're not leaving the village, Naruto," Ian said exasperatedly. "You'll be able to make stops at home when we do missions, but we'll be training after that until dark, and then making camp, like this. And don't stuff your face with those. You've got to make those last a week, you know."

Naruto paused as he was about to shove another ration bar into his open mouth. He blinked, looked down into the sack which was now half empty, and then his shoulders slumped.

"Idiot," Sasuke said as Naruto dejectedly dropped the ration bar he was holding back into the bag. Naruto sneered and was about to respond in kind when Ian cleared his throat.

"No fighting," he said sternly. Normally, they just might have ignored their sensei and sniped at each other verbally. But after experiencing the torture known as Punishment Training, they decided to keep their barbs to themselves and settled for glaring at each other across the flames of the small camp fire.

"Get some sleep," Ian said. "We'll be going for a morning jog before the sun gets up, so you're going to want to be well rested. And now it looks like we'll be hunting too."

"Yes, Sensei," Naruto said. He picked up the rock that had been digging into his back and tossed it into the woods before he flopped back onto the ground and let out a long sigh. Sasuke went back to the tree he was leaning against with one ration bar and sat down to eat it. He stared at the flames and contemplated what his immediate future was going to hold.

Ian-sensei had promised him power and from the looks of how harsh the training was, he'd most certainly gotten what he'd asked for. If he wasn't so dedicated to his task, Sasuke might have feared that he'd bitten off more than he could chew. But he'd be damned if he would admit to that ever. Besides, he wasn't afraid of a little training, since he was an Uchiha and that meant he could do anything. No, the real concern that he worried about was whether this training regimen, harsh as it was, would be enough.

Sasuke shook his head and leaned back against the hard wood of the tree. It wouldn't help to worry about those things right now. He would need his sleep. He'd just push himself all the harder if it wasn't harsh enough anyway. And then he was asleep.

* * *

(1) Fairly certain that they don't have this staple of western food in the show or the manga. Could be wrong, but for this story, let's just go with the idea that it is new.

* * *

A/N: When it comes to training Genin, one thing that most authors, and not even Kishimoto, do is actually treat their training as if they are part of a military organization. Granted, the show is about child soldiers and whatnot, but still, no discipline at all. If Kakashi had been half as strict as he should have been, I doubt any fangirlism would have been left in Sakura after the first day, Naruto would have been forced to focus more, and Sasuke would have just been Sasuke. Honestly, I don't like that little shit, but he was the most shinobi-like of all three genin of that team.

Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

~I.K.A. Valian


	24. The Summoned Soul 2

**Naruto: The Summoned Soul**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

Disclaimer: I Don't Own!

 _Chapter Two_

* * *

The ninja placed me and Naruto down after we entered the second floor apartment of a rather old looking building just down the road from the Hokage Tower. I'm sure if I stood on the roof, I'd be able to see the tower itself. As soon as the ninja had put our things down, they vanished. A cough drew our attention to the kitchen area of the small apartment.

"Anba-kun, Naruto-kun, welcome to your new apartment," the Hokage said. He spread his hands out wide in a gesture to draw our attention to our surroundings.

I blinked. I was going to live with Naruto now? We were only three years old (Naruto's birthday was only a few weeks away). What the hell was the Old Man thinking?

"Really?!" Naruto shouted. I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. Of course Naruto would be excited about this. Then again, we were both getting shafted pretty bad back in the orphanage, so maybe a little excitement wasn't uncalled for. "This place's all for us? No old peoples or mean kidses to boss us or be mean?"

"Yes, Naruto," the Hokage said with a warm smile on his face. "Though you are a _bit_ too young to be taking care of yourselves full time. Therefore, I'll be having some of my ninja stay with you until you are old enough to take care of yourselves."

"Meh," Naruto said dismissively, "we dun need your ninja, Old Man. I'm ta be t'ree soon. I can take care myself. So can Anba-nii."

"I have no doubt that you can take care of yourself, Naruto," the Hokage said. "Or Anba. But please, Naruto, just let this poor old man do this, for his own peace of mind?"

Naruto grinned and said, "Yeah, okay. If it makes you better, Old Man. You can send your ninja, but they just be bored cause me'n Anba-nii are awesome. Right Anba?"

I smirked. The Hokage just played Naruto like a fiddle and he was asking me to back up the Old Man's request to let ninja watch after them. Yeesh, this boy needs awareness help. Or perhaps I am expecting too much from someone who was still not quite three years old yet.

"Old Man, if it will make you feel better, then I have no problem with it," I said. Naruto grinned up at the Hokage. The Hokage smiled back and ruffled Naruto's hair with one hand.

"Well then, I must be getting back to the Hokage Tower," the Hokage said. "All that work won't be doing itself. As much as I wish it would." That last part was mumbled quietly.

"Hey! Hey! Old Man! Can we come too?!"

The Hokage shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not." Naruto looked down, his enthusiasm lost. The Hokage continued. "Besides, I would think you and Anba-kun would be more than busy for the rest of the day checking out your new apartment."

Naruto's eyes widened comically and his grin was back. "Oh yeah!" He was vibrating with energy now as it was visibly clear he was resisting the urge to run around and scream like the little kid he was.

The Hokage laughed as he said his final goodbyes and left. Naruto started giggling and ran deeper into the apartment. I turned and followed at a more sedate pace. From what I could tell, this apartment had two bedrooms, a sort of mini kitchen with a refrigerator, a living room that also was the dining room and the entryway into the apartment, and a bathroom with a shower, sink, and toilet. It also smelled rather nice too.

"Hey! Anba-nii, dis place's awesome!" Naruto shouted from inside one of the bedrooms. He quickly appeared at the door, a huge grin on his face. "This room has a _huge_ closet! I never seen a closet as huger as this! And the bed is huger too! And the bathroom was clean! And, and, and… Wow! This place is so awesome!"

His overenthusiastic display felt neither forced or childish. And truthfully, I was a bit taken in by how nice of a place this was. As an added plus, the oppressive smothering of negative emotions from the orphanage was lacking as well. It felt peaceful, which after the last two months, was a godsend.

"I call this room!" Naruto shouted.

"Hey," I shouted, suddenly realizing he was claiming the bigger of the two rooms. I ran into the room and shouted, "Don't just go deciding that stuff on your own!"

* * *

The next day, and every weekend thereafter, a ninja had come with food. He didn't speak much, and he did glare at Naruto and me a little, but he was silent and stocked the fridge and kitchen cabinets with the food before he left as silently as he came. Naruto watched the whole thing, surprisingly, in silent awe. It was more food than either of us had ever seen at the orphanage and it was all for us. We only had to share it between the two of us.

Most of the cabinet food was instant ramen, but the ninja had put fresh fruit and vegetables into the fridge. Now, in the Naruto story, which I was referencing from memories gained before I was born into this world, Naruto didn't eat very well. In fact, his diet mainly consisted of ramen. Instant ramen cups that take three minutes (which he hated) to heat up and Ichiraku ramen (which he especially enjoyed when Iruka paid for his order). Ramen, of course, is easy to make and cheap, while fruits and anything fresh tended to be more expensive and the store owners weren't very kind to Naruto so he might not have gotten the best service either.

Seeing as how I was here now, and I had no intention of living off of ramen twenty-four seven, that part of the story was going to diverge from reality. That night, and every night afterword, we had a home cooked meal. Ramen was reserved for lunch and special dinners (wherein I would add meat and vegetables and try my hand at being a Ramen Chef, Naruto decided that I was the second best Ramen Chef in Konoha, not that I would ever say mine was anywhere near as good as Teuchi's). Both Naruto and I learned how to cook and since Naruto still seemed to have trouble in the markets, I ended up being the one to go out and buy fresh stuff.

The people of Konoha didn't really like me, since I hung out with Naruto all the time. But when I went shopping, they didn't seem to have much trouble selling me what I wanted. I got the feeling that some of the shop owners felt that I was being used by Naruto and were sorry for me. Whatever the cause, I ended up getting discounts (which was awesome) at some stores and extra fees (which was not awesome) at others.

Turns out Naruto likes curry. I tried my best to recreate the only curry recipe I knew from by previous life and the results weren't spectacular. There is no such thing as Curry Powder here, so I had to make do with another kind of pepper and improvise from there. The first few times sucked so bad that the pot had to be thrown out and the stove scrubbed clean by a genin team hired to do the job (not to mention the smell that has since never left the apartment).

Once I got the hang of experimenting with food, I ended up with what I like to call Pepper Curry. And as the saying goes, there's nothing you cannot curry. Chicken and Pork were the easiest protein to acquire, so most of my home made foods employed those. While I'd finally gotten the basic recipe down by the time I was four, I still wasn't happy with it and was determined to improve it somehow.

Naruto discovered, on his own, how to make stew. Very good stew. It seemed that while I was away, he had taken me cooking a new dish as some kind of challenge and decided to try one himself. So he filled a pot with water, threw in some chicken, every kind of vegetable we had, and salt. Then he set it to boil. All day.

When I got back home, I found Naruto standing in the middle of the kitchen with a grin on his face. When he shoved the steaming bowl of brown goop at me, I was suspicious, but tried it anyway. The flavor was good. It didn't make my tongue dance, but it was good enough for me to want more. The texture stuck to my mouth and just seemed to extend the life of the flavor. It was, for all intents and purposes, a good stew. When we ended up inviting the Hokage over for dinner, the Old Man enjoyed it so much he asked for the recipe. Naruto was ecstatic that the Hokage wanted something that he had made.

* * *

When Naruto and I first moved into the apartment, we were essentially living off of the Hokage's good graces. I don't know who paid for what, or when, but we got food, other goods, and money on the first day of every month. On that day, like clockwork, one of our ninja minders arrived early in the morning, around six, with several bags of groceries. If we ever needed to buy anything, we only needed to ask for it and one of our minders would go fetch it, were the request not unreasonable.

I knew that this was how it had to be, because we were both too young to do anything on our own. This new lifestyle of being allowed to run free for many hours of the day with virtually unlimited material support offered a unique opportunity. I, and Naruto, could concentrate on training to the exclusion of almost anything else. Naruto didn't understand why I wanted to go play at the park every single day for several hours at a time, but he certainly never argued when I said we should go.

My plan was simple. We had two or so years before we entered the academy at six years old. In that time, I wanted to get our bodies conditioned so that we were athletically inclined before we ever set foot on the academy grounds. That alone would give us an advantage over most civilian-born children.

* * *

So, every day, I dragged Naruto to the park. It wasn't hard once I got Naruto going, but he quickly started to develop the bad habit of sleeping into the afternoon. You'd think anyone with that much energy would be awake for more time than not. No one told Naruto this.

"Naruto!" I shouted, banging a pan with a wooden soup ladle as I stomped around his room. "Get up! It's time to go to the park!"

"I dun wanna!" Naruto moaned, burying himself under his blankets and pillow. "Go away!"

"We could find someone who wants to be friends today," I said, more quietly. It was the same excuse I used every day. I would always wince, internally, when I said it. It was a dirty trick to use Naruto's yearning for more people to acknowledge him as motivational material, but it worked every time. This morning, Naruto peeked out from under his pillow at me, those big blue eyes shining slightly.

"Do you really think so?" he asked. The way his voice wavered made my heart crack from the pressure, but I forged ahead.

With a frown, I said, "Yes. Today's the day!" I raised my fist into the air.

Naruto quickly shouted, "Yatta!" and jumped up. "We're going to find a friend today!" With that, he raced from his room into the kitchen to eat the eggs I'd just scrambled.

I slumped my head a little. It went like this every morning. It felt like I was lying, but at the same time, seeing that excited, optimistic look on Naruto's face gave me hope. Maybe we really would find someone to befriend today. Maybe…

* * *

We arrived at the park that day, one year and five months after moving into our apartment, with a shout of challenged. "I challenge you to a race!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"I accept your challenge, Dattebayo!" Naruto responded in equal enthusiasm.

And like two bolts of juvenile lightning, we were off running through the park. I don't know if Naruto was using chakra consciously to go faster or not, but I wasn't. I wanted to train my muscles to get as strong as possible without chakra so that later, when I learned to control it better, I could move even faster still. In Naruto's case, I wasn't sure if he _could_ move without adding chakra. He has so much of it, after all.

On this day, as we raced along our customary path, we decided to cut through the playground and over the hill to the small forested area on the other side of the park. There was a small lake on the other side of the forest that we jumped in to cool off before we raced back to the starting point.

I was in the lead, bent forward, my legs pounding like mini pistons beneath me. My arms were angled back, along my side, to reduce as much air resistance as possible. My heart was pounding in my chest, but it felt awesome to be moving at high speeds. High speed to a five year old, anyway.

Naruto was right behind me, running in a similar fashion. I knew he was just biding his time until we got to the top of the hill. Once we crested the top of the flower covered hill, Naruto would use gravity to pull himself downhill faster so that he could pull ahead. I grit my teeth and pushed my legs harder, willing myself to move faster. I heard Naruto chuckle as he sped up as well.

"This race isn't going to end in a tie! Not today!" I shouted as we raced through the playground. We blazed past the swings and see-saw where kids paused to watch us pass through their midst. I noticed the parents and other minders that accompanied these kids scoffed when the noticed us, but they didn't seem too upset at our presence when they saw me and Naruto leaving as fast as we arrived.

"That's right!" Naruto shouted back, "cause I'm gonna win this time!"

We left the playground behind quickly enough. We both started to slow down as we began to ascend the long, slow incline of the hill. My breath became even more labored than it was before and next to me I could hear Naruto's huffing and puffing. Nevertheless, we both got to the top of the hill, surrounded by flowers of all colors, shapes, and scents in record time.

And that's when Naruto pulled ahead. I knew it! "I knew it!"

"Hahah!" Naruto crowed as he pulled further and further away from me. "Smell ya later! Nya, nya!"

I made a face at the back of Naruto's head. I could cheat, like I'd done before, and push chakra into my legs to get rid of the burning ache. The pain had been growing steadily stronger ever since we started up the hill, but now it was reaching a fevered pitch. I knew that if I cycled chakra into and out of my legs, the pain would go away. But I decided not to do so, this time, because it would defeat the purpose of the exercise.

Muscles grow stronger by being torn apart and then rebuilding stronger than they were before. The body naturally strengthened the muscle tissue as it healed to try and prevent the tear from happening again, inadvertently making the muscle stronger in the process. That theory of muscle building was the same here as it was in my old life. There's two ways to grow muscle, high stress and quick fatigue, or, low stress and slow fatigue.

With the first method of exercise, you get tired faster and your muscles grow bigger faster. You can lift more weight in explosions of force, but only for short periods of time before you get tired again. This is what body builders do.

With the second method of exercise, you don't get tired as fast and your muscles slim down, or don't grow much at all. You may not be able to lift as much weight, but you can do more work for longer periods of time. This is what long distance runners, swimmers, and bikers do.

Chakra, apparently, adds a whole new layer to that equation. The physical energy portion of chakra could potentially strengthen muscle cell walls beyond what they normally would be, making the muscle harder to tear. This made the muscle stronger when you used chakra. The side effect was that the muscle never gained any strength in the long run, because it was the same muscle as you had before, and you end up becoming dependent on your chakra for any increase in strength. Becoming dependent on anything was dangerous, especially for a ninja.

So a body builder who used chakra could conceivably use his explosive strength and power like a long distance runner does. So long as he has the chakra to support and strengthen his muscles, he could continue to use that power. However, the longer he would need to call on that impressive strength, the more chakra he would use.

A long distance runner type would also be able to fortify his muscles with chakra and make them stronger, making it possible to imitate a body builders explosive power and strength. Once again, it would only last as long as the chakra did. Unlike a body builder, the long distance type would instead be using his chakra to boost the maximum lifting power of his muscles and the more weight he would need to lift, the more chakra he would have to use.

This is how ninja work. It was what gave them the appearance of being super human. But ninja who relied only on chakra to be stronger and didn't exercise their muscles at all, leaving them small and weak, were usually overpowered by ninja who made their muscles stronger.

I knew that if I applied chakra to my legs, I would blast past Naruto and win the race, but my muscles wouldn't get any stronger. It probably didn't matter which way I trained my muscles, long distance or body building, so I ignored the intensifying burning in my legs and pressed ahead. Naruto laughed and I grinned as we bolted down the side of the hill.

We were just about to cross the path that ran along the side of the hill and the edge of the forest when I caught a flash of pink. I turned my head to look and missed the small rock jutting out of the ground. My foot caught on the rock and the world started to spin.

The next thing I knew, I was looking up at the sky. My head hurt, but the image of clouds was kind of relaxing. It felt like if I looked at them long enough, I could drift away and all my problems would be solved. Then a patch of bright blond hair appeared in my vision.

"Hehe, you lose," Naruto said. "I'm the winner! Me! Uzumaki Naruto is the winner! Oh yeah! I win! Anba loses! Naruto wins! Dattebayo!"

"By all means, keep gloating," I said when Naruto stopped to grin at me some more.

"Why did you trip on that rock?" Naruto asked curiously. "It was kind of obvious."

"I thought I saw something pink," I said as I sat up. I felt the world start to spin and put a hand on the side of my head. "Oww.. dizzy."

"Pink?" Naruto stood tall and looked around the field. Then he spotted something back the way we'd come, near the top of the hill. He pointed and said, "That girl has pink hair. Is she the one you saw?"

I forced the pounding my head to go away with a quick rush of Chakra. It wasn't a perfect fix all, by any means. At the same time, I could move without feeling like the world was going to fall sideways now.

I turned and looked in the direction Naruto was pointing. Then I saw who he was talking about. A little pink haired girl wearing a green kimono with Cherry Tree petals floating across it. It took my addled brain a moment to supply the name I knew I was looking for.

"Sakura," I said. It had to be her. I didn't know anyone else who had pink hair, in this world anyway.

"Hmm… yeah, she does kind of look like one of those trees," Naruto said. "I've never seen anyone with pink hair before."

"Let's go say hi," I said. "Maybe she'll be our friend."

"I don't know," Naruto said. He took a step back, but looked at me before moving further. I stood up and dusted the grass off my clothes. Then, with a look of confidence, I started walking forward, back up the hill. "H-hey! Anba! Wait for me!"

We trudged slowly up the hill. It was so unlike how we normally moved past this part of the park that I was noticing things I'd never seen before. The number and type of flowers here were more amazing than when we were running past them. I saw blue ones, pink ones, white ones, and red ones. Bugs of all kinds flew around in the warm summer air and bird tweeted in the trees.

As we got closer, I noticed a group of girls approach Sakura. As the group of girls started to talk, I slowed down, but didn't stop. Naruto slowed and move closer to behind me. I frowned and looked over my shoulder at him.

"What if they all run away?" he asked. His voice was high with tension and worry.

"Then we try again with the next group," I said. "No one said making friends was easy."

"It looks easy for the other kids," Naruto replied petulantly.

"The other kids aren't as awesome as us," I said, still moving closer. I began to make out bits and pieces of what was being said.

"Ugly… Forehead… Pink hair… Stupid…"

I nodded. Definitely Sakura. I broke into a run, Naruto hot on my tail. As soon as he heard what the girls were saying, Naruto put on a burst of speed and shot forward like he was ejected from a canon.

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted as he shoved his way past the gaggle of girls surrounding Sakura. "Leave her alone!"

"Ew! It's _that_ boy!"

"My _mom_ said never to talk to you!"

"You're a _bad_ guy!"

"My _daddy_ says you hurt mommy!"

Then I arrived, and shoved my way passed the girls. I found Naruto, with his arms stretched out, standing over a crouching Sakura, who was crying. I joined him on the other side of Sakura in the same pose.

"Who are you?!" one of the girls asked.

"Look at his hideous hair!"

"Is that green even normal?"

"I bet he's a loser just like Sakura!"

"Shut up!" I shouted, so loud that I shocked the gaggle of girls surrounding us into silence. "Haven't your parents ever told you little shits that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all! Get out of here before we call ninja and get you thrown in jail!"

"As if you could-"

"Ahhh!" I screamed. I lunged at the nearest girl with the angriest scowl I could produce.

"Ahhh!" the girl screamed as she turned and ran away.

"Run away! He's gonna get you!" one of the other girls shouted. And suddenly, it was like a damn broke and all the girls started running away, screaming. When the last screaming girl ran over the top of the hill, I turned around and inspected what was going on behind me.

"Hey," Naruto said softly, crouching down in front of Sakura. The girl was hiding her face in her knees. It was clear from the sobbing and shaking that she was crying. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Go away!" Sakura wailed.

"What?!" Naruto said, loudly.

"Naruto," I said. He looked at me. "It's clear she's just as afraid of us as she was of the girls calling her names."

"But we chased those mean girls away!" Naruto said, as if that explained everything. "We're the heroes!"

"Please," Sakura said, softer this time. "Please just leave me alone."

"But-"

I held up my hand and stopped Naruto from speaking. "If she doesn't want to be our friend, we can't force her," I said. "Friendship can't be forced. We'll just have to keep looking."

"Aww…" Naruto hung his head and clenched his fists. I patted him on his back as we started to walk away.

"Don't feel too bad," I said, "we got to be the good guys! That's important!"

"Hmm, yeah!" Naruto said with a shout. He threw his fist in the air and grinned luminously. "We did get to be good guys. It was like we were real ninja!"

"Wait!"

Both Naruto and I turned around and saw Sakura behind us. It seemed she followed us. She was looking down and to the side as if unsure what to do or say now that she had our attention.

"Is your name Sakura?" I asked.

Sakura looked up at me, her eyes wide. "Y-yes!" she said. "But how did you know?"

"I heard the other girls say that name and made the connection," I said. I pointed at myself. "My name is Anba and this is Naruto."

"What did you want, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked. It sounded like an innocent question, but I picked up a certain flavor of uncertainty hidden in his voice.

"Did you really mean…" she said, falling silent near the end.

"Mean what?" Naruto asked.

"What you said?" Sakura asked. "About being friends?"

Naruto and I both nodded. "Do you want to be our friend, Sakura?" I asked.

"I… I'd like that very much," Sakura said, bowing down in front of us. "Please let me be your frie-ND!" Sakura's last word ended in a squeal when Naruto pulled Sakura into a hug.

"Of course we'll be your friends!" Naruto shouted jubilantly. He clung tightly to the little girl in his arms as he started to hop and giggle. "But you gotta be our friend too! You're our first friend ever, Sakura-chan!"

I grinned at the shocked and bewildered look on Sakura's face as well as Naruto's excitement. And if I was honest with myself, I was happy too. We weren't alone anymore. "Naruto's the kind of person that likes to hug his friends," I said in an attempt to explain Naruto, "it's how he shows he cares."

"N-Naruto-san!" Sakura squealed as she tried to get Naruto to let go.

"Hey!" Shouted someone. Someone older and angry. I spun around and spotted an older man running at us. "Let that girl go, you monster!"

"Quick," I shouted, "run!"

Naruto let Sakura go and we all ran away from the shouting old man. I fell in behind Sakura while Naruto took the lead. Together we ran away as fast as we could, right into the woods toward our original destination, the lake. I think the old man stopped chasing us as soon as we entered the wood, but I never stopped to look back and find out. We ended up running all the way to the lake.

"Woo hoo!" Naruto shouted as he ran straight into the water. Sakura, huffing and heaving, slowed to a stop at the edge of the water. I stopped long enough to shuck my shirt before I joined Naruto. The two of us splashed around in the water before Naruto noticed that Sakura was sitting on the shore, watching us with a sad look on her face. "Ne, Sakura-chan! Aren't you going to come in?"

"I can't!" Sakura said. "My kimono will get dirty."

"Then take it off!" Naruto shouted. Sakura blushed at the same time that I smacked Naruto upside the head.

"Naruto," I said, "girls don't get naked in front of boys unless they're married or _really_ good friends."

"They don't?" Naruto said, his expression dumbfounded. He stared at me for the longest time before he turned to look at Sakura, who nodded. Naruto clenched his fist and shouted, "Why didn't anyone tell me this before now?! This is ridiculous!"

"It's common knowledge," I said flatly, moving toward the shore. Naruto continued shout about the unfairness of it all while I sat down next to Sakura on the shore. I think we shared the idea that watching Naruto piss and moan about the unfairness of life was amusing because we watched him do so for a full five minutes.

Finally, Naruto came back to shore and slumped to the ground in front of Sakura and I. "Did you get it all out of you?" I asked.

"Ungh…" Naruto grunted. Sakura giggled and I rolled my eyes.

"Let's spar then," I said. Naruto, like the fount of energy that he is, hopped up and started bouncing around.

"Yeah!" he shouted, throwing punches and kicks at imaginary foes as he moved around the shore. "Let's fight! I'm gonna beat you this time!"

"Wh-why are you going to fight?" Sakura asked. She was eyeing Naruto's antics warily while I stood and dusted the dirt from me.

"We're going to be ninja and enter into the ninja academy when we turn six," I said. "We're not going to have a mean fight. This is just training. All the other kids from clans get training before they enter, so I figured why not us. That's why we were running through the park before."

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted, doing a three kick combo followed by a punch that unbalanced him and sent him to the ground with a face full of dirt as a consolation prize.

"You need to focus on keeping balance, Naruto," I said. Then I turned to Sakura. "You can do this too, if you want."

"Hey, that's right!" Naruto shouted, once again on his feet and doing punches and kicks. "Do you wanna be a ninja too, Sakura-chan?!"

"I-I don't know," Sakura said quietly. She took a few steps back from Naruto, who continued to spring around the beach area like a hopped up hyper bunny. "Ninjas are scary."

"It's okay," I said. "You don't have to become a ninja to be friends with us, right Naruto?"

"Oh, yeah, that's fine I guess," Naruto said, stopping his very strange punch-kick dance so that he could look at Sakura directly. "Not everyone can be a ninja. So what do you want to be, Sakura-chan?"

"I don't know…" Sakura trailed off, looking down at the ground. Then she looked up, her eyes bright. "Maybe I could be a shop owner like my Mom. She always seems to be having fun. She always talks about how much her back hurts, but then Dad comes in and makes her smile and she's happy again. I think I want that."

"That's awesome," Naruto said with a big bright smile. Then the smile dimmed somewhat. "I wish I had a Mom and Dad."

"Now now, Naruto-chan," I chided in my most fatherly voice. "Don't go getting down and out like that."

Naruto rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue at me. "Whatever, Anba-tou-san," Naruto sarcastically threw back at me. I just grinned and started my warm-up by doing crunches.

"Sometimes I wonder if having Anba for a brother is what it's like to have a Dad," Naruto confided in Sakura with a particularly loud whisper. She giggled and Naruto soon joined in.

"If you have the energy to complain," I said in my fake father voice again, "then you have the energy to train. Go, young man. You're not getting any stronger."

"See what I mean?" Naruto said with a flat, unfocused expression on his face.

"Anba seems to care a lot about you, Naruto," Sakura said. "Maybe you should do what he says."

"Yeah, he's like my bro-wait!" Naruto shouted, staring wide eyed at an astonished Sakura. "You just did the mother voice! Not you too Sakura-chan!"

Sakura stared at Naruto for several silent seconds before a small, teasing smile appeared on her lips. "Ne, you should do what your mommy and daddy say, Naru-chan," Sakura said in the most motherly tone she could.

"I don't wanna!" Naruto turned around and sat down on the ground. There he hugged his legs and glared like a petulant child. At this point, I couldn't contain myself anymore and stop my crunches so I could just lay on the ground and laugh. Sakura joined in soon thereafter. Eventually Naruto was laughing as well. We all laughed for a good long while until we were all lying on the ground to recover.

"Why do you two want to become ninja?" Sakura asked as all three of us stared up through the canopy at the clouds drifting across the blue sky.

"Cause I can't be Hokage if I'm not a ninja," Naruto said.

"You want to try and become Hokage?" Sakura asked, somewhat surprised.

"No," I said with a measure of surety in my voice. "He will become Hokage."

Naruto grinned in a devil-may-care fashion. "Yep. I will. No doubt about it. At first, I wanted to be a ninja cause it sounded cool. I wanted to go around, save princesses, and beat up bad guys. But then Anba told me his reason, and I guess his reason is better."

Before Sakura could ask me, I said, "The world is full of danger. Dangerous people and dangerous places. I want to be able to protect the people I care about with my own power. I don't like the idea of relying on someone else who might not be willing to work as hard as I am to protect who I want protected. Right now, that's Sakura-chan and Naru-chan."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted. "Don't call me such a stupid name!"

I ignored Naruto and continued. "The only way to gain the power I need to protect you two is to become a ninja. Even if that means I have to become more powerful than Naruto over there, I'll do it. I really don't want to be Hokage though. Naruto can have that all to himself."

"Hehehe, it's all mine, baby!"

"Naruto," I said, " _you_ are a dork."

"I am not!" Naruto shouted as he rolled over onto his haunches and launched himself at me. "You take that back!"

I grabbed Naruto and started to grapple with him. Sakura, meanwhile, remained quiet and ignored the two of us in favor of watching the sky. After a cloud or two passed, and I finally managed to get Naruto into a headlock, Sakura stood up.

"I think… I think I want to be a ninja too," she said to the both of us. Naruto stopped struggling and I watched her with a raised eyebrow. Sakura saw our reactions and shrank a little into herself. "Th-that is, if it's okay."

Naruto grinned, despite the headlock I had him in. "That's okay with me!" Naruto shouted. "Do you want to be Hokage too?"

"N-no," Sakura said. She shook her head. "I don't think I have what it takes to be Hokage."

"I think you do," I said.

"Hey, Anba, shut up!" Naruto muttered. "Don't go making her think she wants it."

I looked down and half frowned, half smirked at Naruto. "Oh, are you saying you think she's a threat to you becoming Hokage? I guess that means you think she could too."

"What?!" Naruto started struggling in my arms again. "No way! I'm gonna become Hokage! Then I can protect you!"

"I don't think I want to become Hokage," Sakura said. "I just… I want to be strong enough to keep my mom and dad safe. And… and you two… as well."

"Alright!" Naruto finally got free of me and hopped to his feet. Then he thrust his fist toward Sakura. "I swear I'll do everything I can to keep you safe, Sakura-chan! Just like Anba! And your mom and dad too! I'll keep everyone safe, no matter what! And I never go back on my word! Dattebayo!"

"I couldn't have said it better myself," I added, pushing my fist up against Naruto. Sakura, catching on, pushed her small her, softer fist against ours.

"M-me too!" We grinned at each other. As we did, a shiver ran up my spine. Was this the beginning of some kind of super ninja team?

"There they are!"

"Sakura!"

"Get away from her, you little monster!"

"Let the girl go, and that other kid too!"

I reacted on instinct. I hardly even realized what I was doing, though in retrospect I probably knew full well what I was doing. I grabbed Naruto and Sakura around the waist, leaped backwards and away from the dozen or so people emerging from the woods, right onto the lake. The adults probably thought we were about to fall into the lake. Instead, I stupidly put to use all of the chakra training I'd done up over the last three years.

The moment my feet touched the water I was channeling chakra through my legs, strengthen my muscles throughout my body, and running across the surface of the lake as fast as I could with both my friends under my arms. Sakura squealed and clenched onto me as tight as she could. Naruto looked paler than normal and had his eyes squeezed shut. I ignored both of them as I bolted across the lake as fast as I could.

I wasn't fast enough to evade an actual ninja, who appeared in my path on top of the lake. "Take a deep breath I shouted." I heard Sakura stop screaming and Naruto gasped in such a large lung full of air I thought he would explode. I gasped for my own breath of air, and without stopping for the ninja in front of us, I stopped water walking and dropped below the surface of the water.

The momentum we had gained slowed instantly, but we did move straight past the ninja on the surface. I thought we'd made it until I felt a steel grip on the back of my shirt. The ninja, it seemed, was not being fooled this day. I and the two under my arms were lifted from the water like a sack of wet potatoes and held in the air before the masked ANBU ninja.

"Uh…" I said hesitantly, "Parlay?"

* * *

I sat next to Naruto and Sakura on the shore of the lake. The ninja had dispersed the crowd of people that had come chasing after us with the exception of the old man who'd chased us into the woods in the first place and a blond woman who I assumed was Sakura's mother. The three of us sat together, soaked and shivering in the cool afternoon breeze, as the ninja talked with the woman and the old man.

My suspicions about the woman were confirmed when she approached the three of us and Sakura said, "Mommy, I'm sorry," almost as soon as the woman was within hearing range.

"I don't believe you have anything to be sorry for, Sakura-chan," her mother said, glaring at me and Naruto. Though I think her glare was mostly at me. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I regret nothing," I said.

"Oh ho?" the woman said. "So you think kidnapping my daughter and nearly drowning her is acceptable behavior?"

"We didn't kidnap her!" Naruto shouted.

"Be quiet, boy," Sakura's mother snapped. Naruto, unused to the biting tone of a pissed off mother, glared back defiantly.

"We didn't kidnap her and that's that," Naruto said. "Sakura-chan's our friend and we'd protect her forever!"

"Really?" she asked incredulously. She pointed at the lake and demanded, "Then why did you run out onto the lake like that when we appeared? Why did you jump in when you knew you couldn't get away? Those aren't the actions of someone trying to protect my daughter. Those are the actions of a stupid little boy!"

"Why you-"

"No," I said, cutting Naruto's response off. He looked back at me with a heated glare, as if begging to continue arguing. I shook my head and stood up. "She's right, Naruto. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to know what I was doing. Sakura might not have even known how to hold her breath underwater, and I took a chance with her life. I put her and your life in danger by what I did and I must be punished."

"But Anba-"

"No, Naruto," I said. "I panicked. I shouldn't have, but I did. I need more training."

"I'm glad to see one of you has some sense," Sakura's mother said as she glared at me. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"What else," I said, staring back evenly. "I'm going to train harder and make sure I never panic again. Beyond that, it's above my pay grade."

"You don't have a pay grade," she responded waspishly.

"Makes things simpler then, doesn't it," I responded.

Sakura's mother glowered at me for at least a minute, then she turned to her daughter. "Sakura, why did you run off with these two?"

"I…" Sakura immediately felt silly. How could her mother make her feel this way with just a look? Her first instinct was to just call off the friendship. It was clear she'd gotten into trouble just by being near the two boys and Anba did just admit he'd nearly gotten her killed. But then she clearly recalled the way Anba and Naruto had laughed together with her, how they talked about why they wanted to be ninja together, and how they all swore to protect each other.

For the first time in her life, she'd felt like she belonged with others her own age. She was also quite aware, for the first time, that she wasn't as afraid of her mother as she usually was. And it was because the two beside her weren't running away or afraid.

Sakura blinked once and said, "Because they're my friends."

"That's right!" Naruto shouted. "And we never leave our friends behind! No matter what!"

"I acted like an idiot before, but I agree with Naruto," I said.

Sakura's mother put her hands on her hips and glare down at us. Finally, she just sighed and began to massage her forehead. "Fine, fine, whatever," she said. "I don't have any problem with you three playing together, just make sure you never do anything as stupid as this ever again, understand?"

"Of course," I said with a nod.

"Yes, Mom," Sakura said contritely, her gaze fixed on the ground. Despite that, I could see the grin on the pinkette's face. And the tears.

"Hah!" Naruto crowed, pointing at Sakura's mom. "As if you could stop us!"

"Care to repeat that, brat?!" Sakura's mother said in deep, menacing voice I never thought a woman could make. Holy crap I felt a shiver run up my spine. I watched as Sakura's mother pounded a fist into the palm of her other hand. Then she began to crack her knuckles, radiate killing intent, and glowering at us.

I looked over at the panicked Sakura and whispered, "Now it's time to save Naruto from himself. Take one arm and let's get out of here."

"I said-urk!" Naruto was cut off from whatever he was about to say when Sakura and I grabbed his arms and jerked him with us as we ran away.

Sakura's mother, apparently, didn't feel like being generous. "Get back here!" I heard her shout.

"We should stop," Sakura cried, though she kept running. Naruto go his feet underneath him after making faces at Sakura's mother for a few seconds. When he was running under his own power, he grinned and then laughed as he got into the chase.

"No way," Naruto cried. "This is way more fun!"

I smiled, dodging a tree and then a frying pan that was thrown past my head. Holy shit! Where did that woman get that from?!

"If you don't stop, you're punishment's only going to be worse!" Sakura's mother cried.

"As if saying that is going to make us want to stop," Naruto shouted back.

We ran around the forest for at least an hour. It felt like that anyway. I think Sakura's mother was just playing with us, but it was hard to tell with all the kitchen appliances being thrown at us. Naruto was having the time of his life. I'm not afraid to admit that I was enjoying the chase myself. And by the end of it, when we were too exhausted to continue and slumped to the ground, Sakura was grinning too.

* * *

"He's here, Hokage-sama," said the pretty secretary that had escorted me to the Hokage's office. Naruto was out playing at the park with Sakura today. I had been too, until a ninja came and said the Hokage wanted to see me. I told the others to continue playing without me and I'd be back as soon as I could.

"Thank you," the Hokage said as he motioned for me to move and sit in the chair before his desk. I made a little bow at the secretary and moved to the seat indicated by the old man. When I sat down, I patiently stared at the old man while he stared back at me. I think he was trying to study me, or perhaps intimidate me. I think having staring contests with Naruto and Sakura was playing off because my face didn't twitch at all.

Finally, the old man spoke, though he didn't look away from me. "Anba-kun. Do you recall what you did over a year ago at the park?"

I blinked and tilted my head. A year ago was the day after Naruto and I met Sakura. I recall going to the park that day and meeting her there before we ran off into the woods to train again. Well, play and train. Sakura's mother had made her dress up in something more fitting for her daughters newly professed desire to be a ninja, namely a pink shirt and a blue pair of shorts. That day stood out to me because Naruto and I scaled back a lot of what we normally did so Sakura could keep up. And in the end, we all ended up back at Sakura's house for dinner. It was the first "mom" cooked meal I'd ever had in this world.

I blinked again as the memory finished replaying within the moment it took to recall. I instead set my mind on why the Hokage was asking. Something about the day a year ago was important if the Old Man was asking about it. It couldn't have been the exact day, because that day wasn't that impressive at all. No, the Old Man probably meant the day before, when I walked on water.

"Yes," I said.

"Would you mind telling me?" The Hokage asked. Reassuringly, he added, "So that I know for sure that you do remember."

I decided not to play around. To be frank, I was tired of playing make believe. And besides, this was the Hokage. If I couldn't trust this man with even a few of my secrets, then who could I trust? "You mean the day I walked on water," I said.

The Hokage's eyes darkened a little as he nodded. "Yes, that day indeed. When my ANBU informed me of what happened, I could hardly believe it. Yet, I place a great amount of trust into my operatives, my very life and the welfare of the village in fact. So I had you watched a little closer. And do you know what I found?"

"You found me pushing Naruto and Sakura on a training regime preparing us for our entrance into the Ninja academy, at least physically," I said. "I wasn't actually trying to hide what I was doing. Anyone who cared to pay attention, such as you, would have seen what I was doing. In all the years since I've been doing this, you're the first to actually pay attention."

"It would be hard not to pay attention when a child younger than five displays an advanced ninja technique," the Hokage said. With what I could barely perceive as purposeful slowness, instead of actual slowness due to age, the Hokage removed his pipe from his mouth and emptied the ashes into the trash next to his desk. I only noticed the forced slowness because of the twitching muscle on the Old Man's neck. With more deliberate slowness, the Hokage refilled his pipe with new tobacco and lit it with a flick of his fingers. After three long draws of the smoke, the Hokage settled back into his chair. "How did you come to learn such a technique?"

"I can tree walk because I saw a ninja run up a wall once," I said. "You might remember me trying to run up the wall at the orphanage." The Hokage arched an eyebrow. He remained silent and motioned for me to continue. "When practicing and attempting to get that down, I learned how to use my chakra. From there, I naturally progressed to water walking, which wasn't that much more difficult. I've been doing other things, like hanging from the ceiling by my fingertips, or if you looked into our apartment in the morning, you'd see me doing push-offs on the walls."

"I see," the Hokage said. He took three more long puff of his pipe. "It's obvious that you wish to become a shinobi." It was a statement. Really, it was the only conclusion he could come up with short of saying I was a spy, which was impossible considering where I'd come from. This old man certainly knew exactly where I came from and how I came to be in the village. He was there when I arrived, after all. "Pray tell, why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked, rather perplexed that the Old Man hadn't figured it out.

"Indulge me, please."

"To protect Naruto and Sakura," I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "And I know I can't always be there to protect them, so I'm doing my best to push them to getting strong enough to defend themselves as well."

"And they don't even know you've manipulated them onto the paths they walk?"

I looked away, for the first time, embarrassed. "For Sakura, perhaps," I said. I looked back at the Old Man. "For Naruto, no. He told me he wanted to be a ninja before I even brought the idea up. Personally, I thought he wanted to be a ramen cook." I smiled. Some things never change, I guess. Looking at the Hokage, I said, "Perhaps I'm not the only one manipulating people."

The Old Man snorted loudly. "You're far too young to be reading into things beyond your comprehension."

"Perhaps," I said, letting the subject drop.

"You and your friends will be eligible to enter the Academy in six months time," the Hokage said. "But I would like to have you take a test now, if that is acceptable."

"I don't mind," I said. The Hokage nodded and raised a hand but frozen when I continued. "But I'd rather not. Let's keep what I can do between the two of us and the three men hiding in the corners of the room and behind the bookshelf."

The truth was, I couldn't actually sense the ANBU in the room. Rather, it was more like I just _knew_ they were there. It was a weird feeling, but I always could tell when a ninja was repressing their presence, even though I couldn't sense the presence itself. I really had to put some time aside to figuring that feeling out.

The corners of the Old Man's mouth twitched. Finally he shook his head and stood. "Fine, have it your way. You may go. Please let Naruto know that we can go out for Ramen this Friday."

I grinned as I hopped out of the chair. "Okay. See ya later, Old Man."

* * *

It was the first day of classes at the Konohagakure Ninja Academy. I sat in the back row of the class next to Naruto and Sakura. The entire entering class was split up between three classrooms. With about thirty kids between each room, that was ninety hopefuls to weed through between now and when we graduated in six years. That was a lot of people, if you ask me, but the instructors did this work day in and day out.

Our first instructor was some old as hell, bitter, mean man with a long beard and a super serious squint. I only knew about the old man's disposition because as soon as the old fogey laid eyes on Naruto, his face turned red. After that, he did everything in his power to exclude Naruto from the lesson, even sending the poor guy outside to stand due for a made up reason.

I stayed in the class and took excellent notes so that after classes, I could teach Naruto everything he missed. It wasn't really hard for me to remember, rather, the notes I took were for Naruto and Sakura. Sakura had amazing memorization skills and she helped me tutor Naruto once she had a hang on the things we were learning, which didn't take very long.

Every lesson from every day was punctuated by the nasty old Firon-sensei sending Naruto outside for something he didn't do. Naruto was okay with it at first, what with me and Sakura helping him keep up, but then we had our mid-year exam. Naruto was sent outside before it was handed out and afterwards, he was marked down as failing utterly. It seemed that sensei had forged Naruto's signature on the test and filled in all incorrect answers.

I went to the Hokage the next day and asked if I could get Naruto and Sakura to help me prank the asshole before he was "reassigned". The Hokage didn't see anything particularly wrong, but he gave me a stern, "Nothing too dangerous now, Anba." I agreed, of course, because waking up with your head shaved completely bald and painted with permanent marker to look like the buffoon we thought he was, hardly counted as dangerous.

The next day, we got a new teacher. This time, we got Salla-sensei, an elderly looking woman who was just as mean and bitter as Firon-sensei. The only difference was that she was mean and bitter to everyone equally, which was marginally better. At least she didn't send Naruto outside for stupid reason and actually let him take the tests when finals came around at the end of the school year at the beginning of summer.

Naruto didn't get the best scores in the class, that was Sakura. She just blew past everyone and nearly scored perfect. It probably helped that I purposely answered incorrectly a few times to get closer to Naruto's score. Besides, all of the information we had gone over for the whole year was basic arithmetic, basic writing (including calligraphy), and basic language skills. With my perfect memory I had all of the lessons memorized and ingrained into my being after the first month. And asking a boy with the mind of a grown man to do basic arithmetic was insulting. Needless to say, I failed most of those math questions as a point of pride.

* * *

"Man, that test was hard," Naruto said from above me. He was lying on the branch of a tree in the park, resting from our little run. Sakura was spread out on the ground in front of me spread eagle with her eyes closed. I was leaning against the side of the tree with my arm over my head.

"After all that time in the academy, running hurts more than it used to," Sakura said from her spot. "It's a good thing we have all summer to get back to how we were before. But what I don't understand is how you and Naruto could have failed to get at the top with me on those tests. They weren't that hard."

"As long as you don't use chakra, your muscles should get stronger again in no time," I said. "As far as the tests go… bleh. All of that stuff was so easy it was insulting. Besides, I'm training to become a ninja. Why would I want my official record showing exactly how good I am when just about anyone skilled enough could get into the records office and steal that info?"

"Yeah, what Anba said," Naruto piped up.

"Naruto, on the other hand failed so spectacularly because he just didn't give a damn about studying," I said.

"Yeah… what Anba said," Naruto agreed, though I could hear a bit of heat in his voice. "Studying is stupid. I want to learn ninjutsu and taijutsu! All those words and numbers aren't going to teach me how to be a ninja at all!"

"Of course, he's wrong," I said.

"No I'm not!"

"A ninja is capable of performing in all fields of combat," I said. "That includes propaganda, which requires words, and strategy, which requires numbers. So, yes, you are wrong."

"Grr, why do you always talk about everything like you're a know-it-all?!" Naruto shouted.

"Because I can memorize anything after looking at it once?"

"Yeah, yeah… whatever. Stupid perfect memory."

On the ground, Sakura was giggling from our antics. She always giggled at our antics. Personally, I didn't know what was so funny. But whatever, the giggling was kind of cute and entertaining on its own.

"Well if it isn't that giant walking forehead and her gang of ugly idiots."

I groaned and knocked my head backwards against the tree. "Go away, Ami," I said.

"Shut up, you stupid tree head," one of Ami's flunkies shouted.

"Oh, like _that's_ insulting," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Real nice originality there. Maybe next time you can comment on the fact that my eyes are yellow. Or how my arms are big and muscled, or maybe comment on my chiseled chest and abs. You might get farther if you go that route, not that I'd ever consider any of you ugly fat hoes."

"Eww," one of the girls squeled. "Like anyone would want to be with a freak like you, stupid tree head."

"Yeah," another girl agreed. "You're so stupid."

"And you're all really smart," Sakura said. Ever since hooking up with Naruto and I, Sakura had learned sarcasm. It didn't take long for her to start using it against her former tormentors. It was surprisingly effective, usually. "Oh wait, none of you scored at the top of the class, did you? Now who could that have been? It wasn't Anba or Naruto."

"Hah, I scored number three on the list of the whole entire class," Ami boasted. "I saw the list. Stupid forehead girl and her friends all scored near the bottom."

"Man, how dumb can you get?" Naruto questioned from the tree.

"Not as dumb as you, retard," Ami snarked.

"Now, now," I said, "it's not nice to make fun of the mentally challenged."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed. Then five seconds later, "Wait, what?"

"You are all morons," Ami said with her nose in the air. "Feel free to drop out of the academy at any time. Konoha has no place for idiots like you."

"You do not realize how deep the hole you're digging is."

Everyone turned to new person entering the conversation. I immediately recognized him. Long coat, glasses, spiked hair, monotonous voice, and bored expression. This was Aburame Shino.

"Aahh, it's the bug boy!" one of the girls screamed.

All of Ami's posse turned as one. They screamed shrilly and loudly as they ran. It didn't take long before Shino was left alone with all of us.

"My apologies for butting into your conversation," Shino said. He lifted a hand to push his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose as Sakura stood to greet him. I just pushed off of the tree I was leaning against to stand straight. Naruto remained in the tree. "However, it did not seem the courteous thing to do to walk away when I could participate in the defense of my fellow students."

"You're name is Aburame Shino, right?" I asked.

"That is correct," Shino said. "But I do not know how you know my name when I do not know any of yours. In fact, I have never seen any of you before aside from travel to and from classes."

"Anba has this stupid super memory that lets him memorize everything," Naruto said dully from the tree. "It's stupid and lame, but he probably heard you being called Shino, or something, at some point."

"Something along those lines," I said. "You're in class room 104C, right? We're in 104A. It's nice to meet you. My name is Anba."

"Naruto," Naruto said with a lazy salute from the tree.

"That's _Uzumaki_ Naruto," Sakura said with an annoyed growl. "How can you be this lazy?! My name is Haruno, Sakura," Sakura said. She bowed lightly before sitting back down on the ground.

"Feel free to join us," I said. "We're taking a break before we go running again."

"You… run?" Shino asked as he sat down in the shade of the tree. It _was_ a rather nice summer day out with a particularly pleasant warm breeze blowing constantly. Such lovely early summer weather in Fire Country. It would turn into burning hot hell in a few weeks. Best to enjoy it now.

"We're training so that we can be strong ninja when we graduate," Sakura said.

"Tch," Naruto scoffed. "It's not like we actually are learning any jutsu or how to fight. All we do is run, punch the air, and spar. I can't wait till they teach us taijutsu and how to throw kunai! Or how to blow stuff up with exploding tags or… or… how to shoot fireballs from our eyes and lasers from our fingertips!"

"Naruto," I said, "That stuff comes at the end, when we're twelve or so."

"I know! I know!" Naruto whined. "But I can't wait!"

"Why did you come to the park, Aburme-san?" Sakura asked.

"I came to find new bugs to add to my collection," Shino said. "The Aburame use insect partners in combat. If I can increase their number and variety, then I'll be a more capable ninja."

"Huh, I guess that's pretty cool," Naruto said. I noticed Sakura shivering, but trying to hide her reaction. "So does that mean when I set those wasp nests on fire, I was hurting your clan?"

"No," Shino said. "Wasps are an enemy, or rival, to the bugs the Aburame cultivate, which are Destruction Beetles. Though… I don't think it would be a good idea to upset the wasps by setting their nests on fire."

"Yeah…" Naruto idly rubbed the back of his arm. "I learned that."

"So that's where you got all those red bumps from," I said. I looked up into the tree and saw Naruto looking away, but also scratching the back of his head. "Whatever possessed you to set a wasp's nest on fire?"

"It was a stupid idea," Naruto said defensively. "I don't want to talk about it."

Sakura and I laughed. Shino, I couldn't tell, seemed to be amused. He didn't laugh, but I could swear I saw him smile a little.

* * *

A/N: Chapter 2 of the Summoned Soul! New characters are introduced and those characters are, Sakura and Shino. Sakura, cause she's so badly utilized in the manga it's criminal. And Shino, because he's also criminally underutilized.

Now comes the part where you review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	25. World Breaker 0

**World Breakers**

By I.K.A. Valian

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Chapter 000: _Prologue_

* * *

My head was pounding. The air around me was rich with the sound of whooshing wind, crackling electricity, and what sounded like distant voices shouting. Whenever I tried to open my eyes, I would be bombarded by light so intense that it only made my head pound harder; my eyes felt like they had acid poured into them. I tried to breathe to calm my rapidly beating heart, but the air was like a raging inferno in my lungs. I tried to cry out but my throat was raw, as if I had a cold and coughed my throat bloody. My skin felt like it was being scraped by sandpaper all over and when I moved it felt like I had ripped the flesh off completely while the muscles were burned away by the jagged claws of whatever was attacking me. A coppery flavor and smell filled my mouth and nose, making me gag.

And then the torture stopped just as suddenly as it started.

It still hurt to breath, but not nearly like before when fire filled my lungs. Moving no longer hurt and my skin didn't feel like it was being ripped off anymore. That was probably because it was all ripped away by now and any pain I could have felt went with the nerves. Hah, jokes. I must be feeling better. I continued to gag and breathe hard as I attempted to simply survive the encounter with whatever force had just attacked me. Questions filled my mind as I lay wherever I was, breathing and gagging and twitching.

What just happened? Why did it happen? What the hell just happened?! Why the hell did it happen?! Am I going to die or am I already dead? Will anyone care that I'm gone? What is this disgusting crap in my mouth? Why did it hurt so much? Who would do this to another living being?

As I contemplated these questions, I felt something warm wash over me. My whole body was tingling and the pain slowly ebbed until it had receded completely. The urge to throw up slowly left, despite the flavor of blood still being present. Blood! That's what I was tasting and smelling. My own blood.

With the pain nearly gone and my heart rate slowing down, my head became heavy. With my eyes still closed, I let my body go slack as my will to resist the darkness fled. The pain was gone and it was like heaven. Is this what dying feels like?

* * *

An elderly man wearing a long white robe and a large, wide brimmed hat with the red symbol for "Fire" printed on it, stepped away from the observation window. Inside, a team of medical ninja were taking care of the slab of meat that landed just outside of the walls of Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves, his home. He, being the Hokage, was responsible for any and all threats to the security of the village and the Fire Nation as a whole. When a fiery ball crashes just outside the village and explodes in a huge mushroom cloud of chakra, it was his business to deal with the attack and take care of the offenders. What his ninja found was a living being at the epicenter of the impact being tortured by some kind of reaction to the natural chakra energy that exists everywhere in the world. The only way they could stop him from being, and this made the old man shudder, essentially _dissolved_ by the natural energy of the planet was to place him in a chakra free room that was reserved for infants with the rare Chakra Hypersensitivity Disorder.

The old man let out a strained breath and brought out a old wooden pipe. He lifted it to his lips and began to suck smoke into his mouth thought the mouthpiece. As the sweet flavor and heat of the smoke filled his lungs and covered his tongue, he felt some of the tension leave his body.

"Will he survive?" The old Hokage asked the lead medic as the man exited the chakra free room.

"Most certainly," the medic said with a nod. He pulled off his bloody gloves and dropped them into a chute next to the room's door. When the gloves finally reached the furnace in the basement, they'd be incinerated. A policy of hygiene that the old Hokage fully endorsed when the hospital was being built after the First Shinobi World War. "I don't know what happened to cause such a reaction to chakra, but now it seems his body isn't rejecting it outright. Or perhaps, it's that it's not rejecting human chakra. The natural energy in the air seemed to be doing the most damage to him and I'm going to say that until he's recovered enough layers of skin, he'll likely be stuck inside this room. We'll have to test the new skin to make sure it's resistant to the chakra in the air, but we assume it will."

"Hmm…" The Hokage took another long draw from his pipe. After letting it sit inside his lungs for a spell, he breathed it out through his nose and asked, "Anything else?"

"Er… Just one oddity, though I have no way of explaining it," the medic said. He turned toward the observation window and pointed at the bloody mess laying asleep in the operation table. "I was able to heal most of the major damage to his body and stopped the bleeding. The young man appears to be about twenty years old, maybe more, maybe less. But the odd thing about him is that he doesn't seem to have a chakra network and no chakra. How my efforts to heal him worked, I have no idea. It's like my chakra was supercharging the natural healing ability that already existed there, similar to how the jutsu was designed to work, but at in a much more efficient manner. If he had a chakra system, I would have sworn he was healing at the rate of a Jinchuriki. I just can't explain why that is."

"How long until he is healed enough to talk?"

"Normally, at this level of damage, a patient would be lucky to ever talk again, if they survived more than a few days," the medic said. "But at the rate his body seems to be able to repair itself, he'll likely be able to speak in about twenty four hours."

"Thank you," the Hokage said. "Please notify me when he awakens and is capable of talking. I have a great many questions I would like to ask him personally before T&I has a go at him."

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

The old Hokage turned and walked away as the medic went back into the room to resume healing. As the old man left the hospital and looked out across his home, his village, he smiled. His office was situated inside of a tall tower that overlooked the whole village from next to the large mountain with four large heads carved into it, his being the third. Instead of heading back to the inevitable desk-load of paperwork, the old man turned and started for a restaurant that he knew would find him in the company of a loud blond.

* * *

I dreamed of flying. It wasn't the first time, the second actually. I had the distinct privilege of being conscious of the fact that I was dreaming and that I was flying. I laughed and shouted in glee as I freely moved about the world. I jetted past large tracts of forests, floated past huge lakes and long flowing rivers, and set down atop a long sloping hill covered in wild flowers. It was exhilarating but I knew in the pit of my stomach that it would have to end, because all dreams end.

As the dream faded and the world went black, I became aware of the sound of people moving around me, using a language I'd never heard before to talk in soft murmurs. I knew I was awake now, much like I'd sit in bed and try to go back to sleep when I awoke at home. But the hard surface beneath my back and the voices I couldn't understand indicated I was not at home. Questions sprang into my mind as I tried to listen in on what these people were saying and utterly failing to recognize a single sound.

Where am I? What happened to me? How did I get here? Who are these people? Why am I here and not at home? When did this happen?

The last question caught my attention. I couldn't remember what happened to me. I remember… pain and throwing up. And the smell and taste of blood. But that was it. The last thing I remembered before that was driving my car into New York City because… shit, I can't remember that either. What the hell happened to me? Was I in some kind of hospital? That could explain the hard table underneath me, but not the strange language that the people around me were speaking.

I took in a deep breath to sigh when my lungs seemed to light up in pain. I violently began coughing, which attracted the attention of the other people in the room. I felt them rush to my side, shouting things all the while, and then one of them place their hands on my chest. The contact felt like someone had poured lemon juice, salt, and whatever other painful substance people can pour onto wounds, but all across my chest. I would have started coughing more violently in response, but then a warm pulse of heat pushed out from the hands over my chest and my lungs suddenly decided that they didn't want to hurt any longer.

Now breathing easier, I finally opened my eyes to see the person who'd probably saved me from coughing my lungs up. At first it hurt to see, the light way too bright. It was like I was staring into the sun. As I squinted and tried to see, the world slowly came into focus and I saw a man dressed in a white uniform standing over me. He had a white facemask on and a white hat holding his hair back. His uniform was stained with red, likely my own blood, but if it meant saving my life, then by all means, I didn't mind seeing my blood everywhere. If all that pain had a cause, then I was probably near death at least once in the last few hours and this man was probably one of the men or women who saved me.

Then I noticed his eyes. They looked nothing like I expected of a surgeon, if that was who he was. He looked like he was concentrating, but there was almost no life behind the brown eyes. It was almost as if what he was doing was just routine maintenance on a machine he'd rather throw away as useless scrap. I quickly noticed that this cold 'look' wasn't reserved to the man with his hands over me, but to the other people moving about.

And then I noticed that I was awake while the doctor was operating on me. Why the hell were they operating on me when I was awake?! And… what the hell is he doing with… glowing hands? He's operating on me with glowing hands? What the… What the hell kind of hospital was this?

I opened my mouth to say something, maybe scream at the absurdity of this, but the surgeon glanced at me and it was like ice slithered into my mind and down my spine. Whatever words I was going to try to say, died on my lips. Successfully stunned, the man lifted on hand away from my chest, and brought it to my forehead. With a short tap, I felt a spike of pain go straight into my brain, and then the world blinked out.

* * *

 _Twenty-three hours and fifteen minutes later…_

* * *

I heard someone when I next awoke. It sounded loud and direct. The last thing I saw being a doctor and an operating room, I assumed that this was probably the doctor. But then again, the voice did sound kind of old and gravely. Why would they be talking to me?

The person repeated themselves, louder and enunciating each of the words I had never heard before.

I took a deep breath and then froze. My lungs didn't hurt. They didn't burn! Had I healed already? Wow, this hospital must be top notch to have fixed that in… how long had I been here?

I opened my eyes, and after blinking a few times to get used to the light, I saw an old man standing before my bed. It wasn't a very new looking bed, more like something that would be found a hundred years ago. I wanted to take in my surroundings more, but the sharp look in the old man's eyes told me to answer his question. Small problem there.

"I don't understand you," I said slowly. The only response I got was an eyebrow that arched. That might not have been surprising if only that hadn't been the only part of him that moved. This old guy had a poker face that might have been chiseled from granite. But it was clear he didn't understand me either, which made sense as I was thinking about how to get it across that we had a language barrier to breach. He likely only spoke the language he was speaking in. Me, I only spoke English. How to get across the message then? Time to put my communications degree to work.

I lifted my hands to my lips and quickly noticed they were completely wrapped in bandages. How the hell did they wrap each of my fingers like that so that I could move so freely? I mentally slapped myself and stayed on topic. I moved my hand to my mouth and made the jabber mouth motion, then crossed my arms in front of me, and then I pointed at the old man. After that I pointed at the old man, made the jabber mouth motion with my hand, crossed my arms in front of me, and pointed at my own ears.

The old man furrowed his brow but nodded slowly. Well, at least I understood that. I think. He did nod, right? I hope that means he understands.

The old man averted his eyes for a moment and then refocused on me. I guess that means he has a new idea. I just hope it works because this situation was quickly feeling more and more uncomfortable. The old man pointed at himself and said, "Sarutobi Hiruzen," very slowly, enunciating each of the vowels clearly. Something at the back of my head tickled my brain, as if something important was being discussed, something familiar.

I pushed that feeling aside because this I understood. Names. I could do names. I pointed at myself and said my name. The old man repeated it back. I nodded and then added, "Or V."

"Orvee?"

I shook my head as a slight frustration welled up inside of me. Where the hell was I that they didn't understand English? "Vee," I said, enunciating the single letter as clearly as I could. The old man played around with the sound a few times before he looked back at me

"V," he said. I nodded. He nodded back. Great, now we just have to figure out how to talk to each other beyond one letter-

And then my brain froze as the reason that this felt familiar became clear. Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third Hokage, leader of Konohagakure, village hidden in the leaves, longest serving Hokage, father of at least two men, one of which is Asuma Sarutobi, killed by Orochimaru, grandfather figure to Uzumaki Naruto. I blinked and looked closer at the old man in front of me. It was there, barely, but it was. A lot of details are lost when a person is draw as an anime character, but this old guy definitely had the distinctive pointy beard and the old weathered face. But… maybe it was possible that his name was just similar. It wasn't out of the question that two old guys had the same name. I'm sure other people have my name too.

The panic rising up inside of me ebbed away at that thought. It was ridiculous to think I was sitting in front of an anime character. No, he didn't even have the hat, and despite how rustic this place looked, it was clearly a hospital. That meant I'd just nearly panicked over nothing, though there was still the fact that I had no clue where I was, why I was here, or what happened to get me here. This was clearly no hospital in any nation I'd ever heard of, considering I'd never heard this language before. Another reason I was imagining things, the language that this guy was speaking was not even remotely Japanese. Sure, it sounded similar, like Korean sounds similar, but isn't. Yet of the few words that I'd heard spoken so far, none of them were similar to the few Japanese words I know.

So, I'm in a foreign country's hospital and this old guy has a striking resemblance to an anime character. Great. Just great. Maybe I really did die back there.

After a long silence, Sarutobi said something else I didn't understand. But at the same time, he made the motions of putting something in his mouth, chewing, and then repeating. Ah, so he was asking me if I wanted to eat. I shook my head. No, oddly enough, I felt full. Stuffed even. Whatever I ate before I ended up here must have been huge.

Hmm… this was ridiculous. We couldn't say the things we want to say because we couldn't understand each other. And even if we could sign out the question, the answer would likely be impossible to sign back. The only exception would be simple questions with simple answers. Like the food question.

I heaved a great sigh and then it hit me. I was a writer. I could write down the alphabet and maybe teach the old guy how to speak English. Maybe he'd teach me his language in turn. That would solve the problems, I think.

I waved my hand around until I got Sarutobi's attention, then I pretended to start writing in my hand. It took a few seconds before the old man's eyes widened a little and then he nodded. He looked to his left and said something. I followed his gaze and saw a door. Oh yeah, there's more to this room than me and Sarutobi. For a second, I swore I could see a man standing there, but I blinked and he was gone.

I turned back to Sarutobi and he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. We waited for a few more seconds and then there was a piece of paper in my lap and a pencil. At least I think it was a pencil since it was built the same, only I'd never seen graphite or lead that black before. Maybe charcoal? It didn't matter.

What did matter was that the guy who put them in my lap had literally just appeared out of thin air. I sat there, blinking and trying to comprehend what I'd just seen until Sarutobi coughed. I turned to look back at the old man and he had that serious look on his face again. I stared at him as my mind still tried to wrap around the idea that a masked man had just appeared out of thin air. Then he coughed again and pointed down.

I looked down and saw the paper and pencil. Oh yeah! What did I want these for again? Oh, right, helping to communicate. So, first thing first, I have the medium, I have a message, now to code the message for transmission across the medium.

I brought the paper closer to me and set it flat on my lap. It was a fairly thick paper, sort of like construction paper. Then I set about writing each of the letters of the alphabet in as neat a line as I could. My writing seemed worse than usual, but I could easily write that off (haha, how very punny) as nerves and wrote extra large letters to compensate.

When I was finished, I spun the paper around and pointed at the first letter. "A, Ahh." Then I pointed at the second letter. "B or Buh." As I went through the alphabet, sounding out each of the letters, Sarutobi paid rapt attention. He repeated each of the letters after I demonstrated. When I finally reached the last letter, I put the paper down and patted the bed.

"Bed," I said, "B, E, D."

" _Beeduh_ ," Sarutobi said. He said the word a few more times until it sounded about right. " _Bed?_ " I nodded and he smiled. He held his hand out toward the paper and I hesitantly handed it to him. Sarutobi took the paper and pencil and then quickly scribbled something down. After that he started looking up at the alphabet and slowly started writing letters down. After a short while he handed the paper back.

I looked over what Sarutobi had written, or drawn as I soon found a strange symbol that _did_ look strikingly similar to one of the characters that far eastern cultures wrote in. I'd never studied any language but English, so this might as well have been Japanese and I wouldn't know. Fortunately, underneath the symbol, Sarutobi had written out the "BED" and then beneath that, a strange combination of letters that I had never seen before.

It took me a moment to realize that it was a translation. I looked up at Sarutobi in surprise. If I had to guess, this man had never seen or heard English before in his life, just as I was having trouble with the language Sarutobi was speaking. And yet, after just one word and hearing the alphabet only once, he'd already learned how to translate? Holy shit! This man must be a genius or something!

Slowly, I began sounding out the word.

* * *

"Baowood," V said. Sarutobi had to repress a chuckle. It seemed their own version of the name for a bed was much harder to pronounce than whatever language the young man had just revealed. V continued to sound it out over and over again. He glancing up at Sarutobi every few tries to see if he'd gotten it correct or not.

While V was busy, Sarutobi motioned toward the ANBU standing next to the bed. In an instant, the ninja was by Sarutobi's side. "I want you to go and find Yamanaka Inoichi and Nara Shikaku. Bring them here, but please use the door. It seems V-kun here has never been exposed to the shinobi arts before. Startling him more might be… counter-productive."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the ANBU said. The young man behind the dog mask gave a curt nod and then hesitated before he turned and slowly walked out of the room 'the old fashioned way', using the door. Once the door was shut though, Sarutobi had no doubt that the ANBU would Shunshin away to carry out his task.

When the door opened several seconds later, Sarutobi and V turned to look at the new comer. A blond new comer who shouted, "Found you, Old Man!" The blond then launched himself forward with his arms stretched open wide and latched himself onto Sarutobi in a tight hug.

The old Hokage laughed and smiled as he hugged the young blond back. "Naruto," he said, "What are you doing here? Don't you know that you're not supposed to barge into random hospital rooms?"

"But… But, Old Man," Naruto said. He pulled back and looked the old man in the face, pouting, on the verge of tears, with his lower lip trembling. "I thought you were hiding from me. I didn't know where you were so I… I…"

"Calm down, Naruto," Sarutobi said. "It's alright. I wasn't in my office today because I had to meet with this young man here."

At this point, both Naruto and Sarutobi turned to look at V. Sarutobi noticed how V was staring at Naruto and how his normal brown skin tone had turned eerily pale. The old Hokage arched his eyebrow at this.

"Hey, Old Man," Naruto said as he stared right back at V unflinchingly. "Why is he so funny looking?"

"Well, Naruto," Sarutobi said, "this young man was injured while traveling and he wound up here. I'm having a conversation with him to see if he knew what hurt him."

"Huh?"

"It was a bad injury," Sarutobi explained. "So if I can find out how he was hurt, then I can keep my own forces from falling to the same fate."

"I dun get it," Naruto said as he finally broke eye contact with V and turned to look at the Hokage with confusion written all over his face. "He doesn't look like he was hurt at all! And he doesn't look like he understands a thing we're saying! Plus, why does he have such dark skin?!"

Sarutobi laughed and ruffled Naruto's hair. "Don't worry about it Naruto. It just means he's a foreigner and he can't understand our language or customs."

* * *

It just could not be real. No, I wanted it to not be real. How in the hell did this happen? What kind of sick and sordid sense of humor did God have to allow this twisted set of circumstances to even exist? Let alone that I happened to become the victim to this twist of fate.

I don't think I can follow the claim that I'm not in some anime universe now. I was staring at the main character. Granted, the boy looked real enough instead of the anime kid that I'd seen growing up, but I was still finding it hard to believe. Uzumaki Naruto, it turns out, did not have spiky blond hair, but a very wild mop of blond hair. His eyes were blue, yes, but no larger than anyone else's. Ironically, the only thing that the anime got right was the three whisker marks on each of the boy's cheeks.

When Naruto turned to face me and stare me down, I swear I could see the anime version standing next to him, eyes squinted, studying me in the exact same manner. That settled it. I was now in the world of Shinobi, a world of violence, death, and ninja powers that could literally let you fly through the air or swim through the earth… or if you were really unlucky, destroy the world. I am so, so, _so_ screwed.

* * *

A/N: Another self insert attempt. In this one, I wanted to explore how chakra would react to a person from a chakra dry world. It wouldn't just cozy up to the person and say, "boo, you got supa powers now, boyeee!" No, since Chakra is pure energy, it would probably dissolve their body. Human Chakra, on the other hand, is altered enough for a human body to be exposed to since it was produced in a human body to begin with. Anyway, tell me what _you_ think! In a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


	26. A Voice in My Head 4

**A Voice in My Head**

By I.K.A. Valian

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

* * *

 _Fateful Encounter_

* * *

"Hey, Sakura-chan!"

"Go away, Naruto!" Sakura turned around after dealing her righteous justice upon the blond idiot's head just as Sasuke disappeared around the corner of a building. Losing sight of him didn't mean much in the long run. She had the five different routes he took home memorized. Nevertheless, her ire was sparked and so she turned back to the blond to revisit upon him righteous fury. "Na-ru-to!"

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, cowering with his hands above his head. The idiot was really pathetic looking like that. For half of a second, she contemplated just ignoring Naruto and rushing to catch up with her target. But then she'd have to deal with this anger inside of her and she might accidentally let off some of that steam around Sasuke, which would just ruin her image. So it was decided, best vent on Naruto first.

" _Cha! Why does this idiot keep getting in our way?! Make him pay!_ "

"You're going to pay for making me lose Sasuke-kun, Naruto," Sakura said, her voice disturbingly calm and quiet in comparison to the loud cracking her knuckles made when she popped them. Naruto blanched and then bolted. That only made the anger inside of her grow louder.

" _He's getting away! When we catch him, we're going to kick his ass! Shannaro!_ "

Sakura roared out her battle cry as she gave chase to the orange blur. The chase that followed came to be known as the Haruno Run among the ANBU watching over the event. It would be noted as remarkable by the Hokage when told how far and fast Uzumaki ran as well as how often and how close Haruno came to catching him. Most notable was that both were still academy students, as several chunin expressed doubt they were capable of the Haruno Run when they were told about it.

It became a warning to shinobi of the village. Never underestimate the power of an enraged kunoichi. Ever.

* * *

 **Thirty Minutes Earlier**

"Hey, Hinata-chan!"

Hinata turned from the door to the class room when she heard her name called out to her. A red blush instantly washed over her and she diverted her gaze from the blond heading toward her. She quietly continued to stand that way as an awkward silence fell between them. The memories of the night before only made Hinata blush more. She wished she could disappear right at that moment.

Finally, Naruto said, "I was wondering… would you be able to help me train today? In the park where we met yesterday?"

"I…" Hinata glanced at Naruto and saw him earnestly looking at her, clearly hoping she would say yes. But she was weak and any help training from her would only hold him back. It would be better if he didn't bother. "I'm s-sorry, but… I-I don't th-think it w-would work out. S-sorry." If only she were stronger, like Naruto… but that was a dream that would never be.

"Eh? Why not?!" The surprise in his voice was evident to Hinata. He was so good and saw only the best in everyone, even if it wasn't really there. It was part of what she liked about him.

"B-because… I'm w-weak," she said. The last part she bit out, almost spat out. The tremor in her voice wasn't from embarrassment at that point, but bitterness and self-loathing. "I-I would o-only b-be holding y-you back."

"What?! That's stupid!" Naruto said, quite loudly. If the classroom weren't empty, she would have been mortified from the amount of scrutiny the exclamation would have brought upon them. Naruto, she knew, would have no trouble with it, but she wasn't that strong. Naruto continue on, heedless of her roiling emotions. "You're really strong Hinata-chan. Yesterday, when I walked up to you, you moved so fast and hit me so hard that my eye swelled up. I didn't even see the blow coming. If that doesn't mean you're strong, then I don't know what does."

"N-no, really..." she tried to protest, though her voice was feeble through the effort. "I'm not."

"No way!" Naruto said. "You _are_ strong! Believe it! You just got to believe in yourself! I know I do! Meet me at the park in a bit, okay?"

Before she could respond in any decent manner, Naruto had rushed out of the class room to who knows where. But even if Naruto had stayed, she likely wouldn't have been able to respond fast enough. It took her nearly twenty minutes before she realized she'd been standing still for that long and that she needed to get to that park. The entire time since Naruto left, one thought was continually running through her head.

" _Naruto believes in me!_ "

* * *

 **Eight minutes, Forty-five seconds Before the First Haruno Run**

"Oi! Shino-san!"

He stopped in the street. He'd been on his way home, on the same route he always took. It was the most efficient way to return to the Aburame Clan compound from the academy and it generally avoided large crowds. This meant his presence in the road was not as intrusive and he wouldn't get in the way of anyone going about, in all likelihood, business more important to the welfare of Konoha than his journey home.

Someone calling out to him was most certainly not normal. In fact, it was very rare outside of his clan. Most villagers were wary of the Aburame and the insects they carried and cultivated within their bodies. Most ninja as well. He knew very few people outside of the clan and very few desired to know him. This worked out well for him, since it meant that he wasn't being intrusive into the workings of Konoha. Intrusions into any colony of his insects always turned out bad and he had no desire to become such a thing for the village.

Slowly, Shino turned and fixed his eyes on the orange wearing boy running toward him, waving, and shouting his name. Shino quickly recognized Naruto as the loud, boisterous, ineffectual dead last ranked student from his class. If there was ever anyone who was an intrusion into the colony that was Konoha, it was Naruto. That said, he had noticed on a few occasions that the villagers held something of a bit of contempt for the boy that didn't seem to stem from the numerous pranks Naruto had carried out. And on top of that, Naruto had consciously _not_ squished one of his beetles that crawled past him. It showed a modicum of mercy for a creature so much weaker than him, a move that, if nothing else, proved Naruto wasn't as bad as his reputation made him out to be. It was a mystery to follow up on later. For now, he had to deal with the intrusion into his own pattern that Naruto was making.

"Uzumaki Naruto," Shino said as Naruto came to a stop before him.

"Hey, Shino, I was wondering if you could help me become a better ninja?"

Shino raised an eyebrow. It was hard to tell what an Aburame was thinking, since almost all of the clan wore sunglasses and a large coat all the time. That Naruto was able to tell he was confused spoke well of his observational skills. Or it could be Naruto was just explaining more on his own. Either way, Naruto continued speaking.

"Ever since that fight with Sasuke, I realized that I got a lot of work to do if I ever want to become Hokage. I can't ask any of the teachers cause they are all busy and the Hokage's got that disease or something he calls paperwork." Naruto let out a single bark of laughter and crossed his arms in front of him. "I have no idea what that disease is but I'm not gonna get it. But I have to become Hokage first. So, can you?"

The request was puzzling. Naruto wanted help becoming stronger, but the teachers were too busy to help? That didn't sound correct because he had asked for assistance on more than one occasion and had received it after classes. And why even bring up the Hokage being busy with paperwork. This just added more things to the list of questions about Naruto.

"Why are you coming to me for help?" Shino asked. "Logically, Uchiha Sasuke is the strongest student in the class, and thus, would make a better training partner."

Naruto's face twisted into a scowl. "Sasuke's a bastard who doesn't care about anyone but himself. He'd just go 'Hnn' and walk away or call me a loser or something." Naruto made a fairly accurate impression of Sasuke sulking and walking away a short distance. Finally, Naruto shook his head and said, "He wouldn't help me."

"Am I to assume then, that out of all the others in the class, you approached me because I would be the most likely to assist you?"

"Oh, it's not just you, I'm just asked Hinata-chan and next I'm going to ask Sakura-chan," Naruto said, bouncing on his feet. Then his eyes widened. "Oh crap, I almost forgot about Sakura. Meet me at the park where that stream meets the tree. Bye."

Shino watched Naruto run off, presumably to find Sakura. He frowned. He had witnessed the interaction of Naruto and Sakura in class before and the results were always negative for the boy in question. Naruto would endlessly ask Sakura for a date or something else, sometimes even minor things, and Sakura would respond with disproportionate violence.

Shino stood on the road for several minutes as he contemplated Naruto's request. He wasn't required to be back home so soon and his parents had requested that he make bonds of friendship with others his age. It had been a most difficult task so far, but perhaps this was the opportunity he needed. And the chance to pick Naruto apart with more exposure sounded appealing as well.

His mind decided, Shino changed destination for the park and set off. If nothing else, this would give him an excuse to visit one of his favorite places in Konoha outside of the clan compound. There were lots of nice and quiet places in the park where he could commune with the insects in the area. It promised to be calming and peaceful should Naruto not show up, and illuminating if he did. A win-win scenario if there ever was one.

* * *

 **Midway through the Haruno Run**

"Holy shit! You almost hit me, Sakura-chan!"

"I'm going to do more than hit you, Uzumaki Naruto!" Sakura screeched back. Naruto cried out a little in terror as he ducked underneath the outstretched arms of a baker holding several loaves of bread without breaking stride. Sakura, somehow, slipped around behind the baker and took a flying leap at Naruto with her leg extended for an ax kick.

Naruto screamed and jumped, just barely avoiding having his ass literally kicked by Sakura into the ground. Clear of danger for the moment, Naruto kicked off of the wall he'd jumped toward and flipped in mid-air as he came down on the roof. He didn't even take time to breath in relief and bolted. Just moments later, Sakura was also on the roof and chasing Naruto once more.

" _I don't know what you've done to piss her off this badly today, but seeing as how she's following you, why not lead her to the meeting place._ "

"Hey! That's a good idea!" Naruto leaped off the edge of the roof and landed on a slanted overhang. He slid down the overhang, bounced off of the top melon in a cart full of melons, and landed on the street. There he spun around and shouted, "Sakura-chan! Can't catch me!"

"I am so going to kick your ass, Uzumaki!" Sakura shouted as she leaped from the roof. Once she was on the road she sprinted at Naruto. Naruto waited until she was just barely close enough to hit him before he bolted toward the park. "Damn it! Stay still!"

Naruto laughed as he ran down the street. He ignored the looks he was getting. They were not important right now anyway. Instead he focused on avoiding carts, people, and animals as he quickly moved through the crowded streets. Sakura, somehow, was right behind him.

"Just wait till I get my hands on you, Uzumaki!" Sakura shouted. She nearly collided with a woman holding a bag of groceries, but managed to spin out of the way and somehow continuing to keep up with Naruto. "I lost Sasuke-kun and now you're going to pay!"

"Shit," Naruto gasped as he narrowly dodged another flying kick aimed at his head.

" _Well… It's not like you can say she's not effective when she's motivated._ "

"Now is seriously not the time to be pointing these things _out_!" Naruto yelped the last word when Sakura finally managed to trip Naruto, though she overshot her follow through jump. The short pause gave Naruto the time to scramble back to his feet and dash down an alley way with Sakura, now recovered, right on his heels.

The two emerged in a heated sprint toward the now visible park. Naruto slowly started to edge ahead as he poured on the speed. Sakura, though, was undeterred and continue to chase Naruto, while screaming and spitting like a raging demon.

" _Just five more seconds, then you can stop. If the other two are here, then they'll likely come to your aid, or at least, watch you get your ass kicked._ "

Naruto didn't respond. Instead he skid to a stop, kicking up a cloud of dust next to the stream running through the park next to the woods, and spun around. Sakura shouted gleefully as she flew through the air to bury her fist into Naruto's face.

And then Naruto side stepped.

Sakura's scream turned from jubilant to terrified. That was quickly cut off when she landed with a big splash in the stream. It wasn't really that deep, maybe a foot, but the effect was instantaneous.

" _Yeah… that wasn't what I had in mind. You realize that you've just made things worse for yourself, right?_ "

"Hey, Sakura-chan, I wanted to ask you a question," Naruto said as Sakura slowly picked herself up and stood in the middle of the stream. She was soaking wet and her hair hung off her head in clumps instead of smooth and silky like normal. In Naruto's honest opinion, the wet, bedraggled look only made her cuter, but the completely pissed off grimace was totally uncute… maybe. No, the more he looked at her, the cuter her angry-face became. "Can you help me train?"

" _Remember what I said. The way to get to Sakura is through Sasuke. You may not like it, but if you really want to become strong enough to protect her, then you'll just have to bite the bullet and manipulate her. Besides, in the long run, it might work out for you since you'll get to spend more time with her._ "

"You are _dead_ , Uzumaki Naruto," Sakura rasped. If Naruto didn't know better, he'd have sworn her eyes were glowing red and sparks were shooting out of them. If looks could kill, he'd be a pile of orange ash right about now. "I don't know what in your pathetic mind made you think I'd help _you_ of all peop-"

"Sasuke," Naruto said.

"W-what?" The rage slowly drained from Sakura's face, replaced by confusion and regular anger. An improvement over the demonic anger, for sure. "What does Sasuke have to do with this?!"

"I assume that Uzumaki-san is saying that if Sasuke notices that the Dead Last ranking student of the class suddenly improves, that he'll ask how it's possible." Both Sakura and Naruto turned to see Shino standing a short distance away. Hinata stood behind him, looking sad almost to the point of tears, despite the blush on her cheeks. Addressing Naruto, Shino asked, "Is that not correct, Uzumaki-san?"

"Uhh… Yeah! That's exactly right!" Naruto nodded. "I need to get stronger so I can become Hokage. And none of the teachers in the academy want to help me. Iruka-sensei is always busy grading stuff, except when he's taking me out to ramen. But I followed him back to the academy after we ate once and saw he had to stay even later than normal just to get all the grading done. And Old Man Hokage has some sickness called paperwork, which doesn't let him get out much. There's no one that can help, so I wanted to ask you guys to help."

"Naruto-kun," Hinata mumbled.

"You idiot!" Sakura said. She'd since stomped out of the stream and started wringing out her long pink hair. "Why the hell can't you just wait until you graduate? It's only three months away!"

"Because I can't-"

" _Naruto! Don't shout. Shouting makes you sound unreasonable and immature. They might not accept your request that way. Speak calmly and evenly._ "

Naruto took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It almost felt like all the frustration in him slowly left with the air in his lungs. Then he calmly said, "I can't graduate if I can't perform the three basic jutsu or pass the written and physical test. I already tried twice and I always have trouble on the clone jutsu. I just can't make it work, no matter how hard I try, or how long I go at it, it just never come out right. So I thought, maybe I can get some of my classmates who can do the clone jutsu to help me since no one else will."

Naruto looked back and forth between the three in front of him. Sakura looked annoyed with her arms crossed, though the whole image was undone by how bedraggled and rumpled she looked all damp from her romp in the stream. Okay, she definitely looked quite cute that way. Shino looked… non committal, or at least, as much as Shino looked like he was feeling anything. Hinata was blushing and had her hand in front of her face, so it was hard to see what she was thinking.

Finally, Sakura sighed. "Look, I don't get why you can't just ask one of the teachers to help. It's not like they can't put aside their work to help people after class lets out. Heck, I've done that a whole lot of times and they always are willing to help out."

"N-not for N-Naruto-kun," Hinata said before Naruto say anything. "T-they always t-tell him n-no. O-only Iruka-s-sensei does, and o-only sometimes."

"That can't be right," Sakura said, frowning. "There's no way that can be right."

"I must confess to having similar feelings to Haruno-san," Shino said. "I have asked for assistance outside of class from any number of teachers before and have freely received it. That they would not extend the same to Naruto does not conform to my own experiences, and apparently, not to Haruno-san's as well. Uzumaki-san, do all of the teachers truly refuse to assist you?"

"I…" Naruto paused. Then he nodded and said, "Yes. Just Iruka-sensei helps, but not all the time. He's busy, so it's not like he can help it. But that's why I asked you guys to help me."

"That's another thing, Naruto," Sakura said. "Why us? What makes you think we can help you, or should help you? As far as I can see, there's nothing in this for us. And that future promise of help with Sasuke-kun sounds kind of flimsy if you ask me."

"It's because you're super smart, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said. "Hinata's really strong and fast and Shino-san is pretty cool and knows a lot too. And plus, you wouldn't just be helping me. Cause I'd be helping you too!"

"There is nothing you can give me that I'd want, Naruto," Sakura said.

"I tricked you into chasing me through Konoha to this meeting spot and dumped you into a stream without breaking a sweat," Naruto said. He grinned cheekily at Sakura, who flushed red and then glared at him. "I'd say that's something you could learn, no?"

"I'm still going to kick your ass for that, Naruto!" Sakura growled.

"Considering that Uzumaki-san is the Dead Last rank of the class, and he was capable of doing as he did to Haruno-san, then there is a high probability that he is hiding his true abilities in class," Shino said. "I know this because if he were truly the Dead Last, then he would not have been able to do such things as lead the top Kunoichi in the class on a chase and then trick her into falling into a stream. Based on this information, I believe it is logical to assume that Uzumaki-san has some strengths that he can use to barter skills with the three of us."

"N-Naruto-kun is s-stronger than h-he l-looks."

Sakura narrowed her eyes as she studied Naruto. Naruto nervously swallowed under the piercing gaze of the girl he considered the prettiest. Finally, Sakura snorted loudly and grumbled under her breath.

" _I do believe that you have succeeded, Naruto_."

"So…" Naruto looked between his three classmates, maybe friends. "Does this mean… that you'll help me?"

"I must admit, your offer and the display of your skills have piqued my curiosity," Shino said. "I will assist in what way I am capable."

"I-I don't kn-know how I'll h-help, b-but I will t-try."

"Grr… If you so much as ask for one date, this is off! And I swear, if Sasuke doesn't look at me once before we graduate then I'm going to make you wish you'd never been born." Sakura finished her threat off with a glare of promised pain and torture before a long and drawn out death. Death, if she was feeling merciful enough to grant it.

Naruto swallowed loudly and grinned. Then that grin widened as he realized that they'd all accepted. "Awesome! Thank you for your help! You have my word that I'll help you get stronger too. And I never go back on my word!"

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata mumbled, turning away as her whole face and neck flushed red.

Shino tilted his head, but otherwise did not show any reaction.

Sakura huffed loudly and crossed her arms in front of her.

"We should all go get ramen to celebrate the formation of Team Awesome!" Naruto crowed.

"No dates!" Sakura shouted, pounding Naruto on top of the head. And then she swung her foot and punted the orange clad boy into the stream. "That's for before, idiot!"

Splash! "Blurblblbl-Sakura-chaaan!"

* * *

 **Ten minutes later…**

Sakura was talked into going to the ramen stand anyway, despite her desire not to. The only reason she agreed to go was because Naruto insisted that they were all going, and it wasn't a date. It was only because Shino and Hinata were there that she was convinced that Naruto wasn't trying to trick her again.

At the ramen stand, things only got worse. It smelled absolutely divine. Being on a diet, she had been starving herself, so she was already hungry. The chase to catch Naruto earlier in the day had only served to make her even hungrier.

Now she was sitting next to her three… teammates? Whatever! They were each eating a bowl of ramen; Naruto had four and was now on his fifth. Sakura was the only one not eating, politely refusing when the chef offered. It was torture of the worst kind.

Each slurp grated on her nerves. Every hum of contentment made her yearn for the same. It was like a yawning, bottomless pit had opened up in her stomach and was eating the rest of her body, but also demanding more. If this didn't end soon, she was going to lose her mind and scream.

"Sakura-san?" Sakura turned to Hinata. She was looking at her with a concerned look. Great, now even Hinata was concerned about her. "Are y-you alright? Y-you look ill."

"N-no," Sakura said. She smiled and waved Hinata's concern away with a light laugh. "I'm fine. I'm just finding my diet harder to uphold than I thought I would. Nothing to worry about."

"A diet is the sum total of what a person or animal eats," Shino said. "Many call not eating, or light eating, a diet when it is in fact self-imposed starvation. Such an act can stunt growth, weaken the body through muscle degeneration, and the mind through delirium. If you are truly that hungry, Haruno-san, I suggest you eat something."

"B-but I can't!" Sakura shouted. "I'll get fat! Huge, like a balloon! Then Sasuke-kun would never look at me; I wouldn't want him to look at me. I'd be hideous."

"Um… Sakura-san," Hinata said. "I th-think the ef-ffects of s-starvation are j-just as b-bad as eating t-too much."

"B-but!"

"She's right, you know." The three turned to Ayame, who was just putting down Naruto's sixth bowl. He happily dug in, somehow oblivious to everything around him. "I once went on a diet and not only did I not lose weight, when I ended the diet, I put on even more weight. It turned out I had gone about it all wrong. The ninja doctor at the hospital told me that I should have increased my metabolism instead of decreasing my calorie intake. Basically, he told me I should have exercised more and that as long as I did, I could eat as much as I normally did."

"Really?" Sakura asked. She was in awe. This kind of info wasn't in any of the books or magazines she'd read about dieting.

"Yeah," Ayame said. "Turns out those silly magazines I'd read were written by idiots who only cared about making money from selling the story and diet pills."

Sakura blinked once. Then, just as Naruto's seventh bowl was set down in front of him by Teuchi, it vanished. Naruto let out an intelligent grunt, looked about for his bowl, and then found it. Empty. In front of Sakura.

"Can I have another one, please," Sakura said demurely as she patted her mouth with a napkin.

* * *

Shino was pleasantly surprised, and quite satisfied, by the events that had transpired over the past few hours. Now that he was finished with the day's activities and was just entering his clan's compound, he finally had the time to contemplate everything that had happened.

He had made quite a few comrades today. He wouldn't go so far as to call them friends. Even he knew that a bond of friendship would take longer to form, but today was a good start. He'd also made headway on the mystery that was Uzumaki Naruto.

The boy was indeed _not_ the monster that everyone in the village appeared to view him as. In fact, from his own observations, the young blond seemed to be doing everything in his power to get anyone to pay attention to him. Even if that attention was the result of a prank. This revelation, along with the fact that no one outside of the Hokage and one teacher, Umino Iruka, wanted to spend any time around the boy, only raised many more questions.

Why does Uzumaki Naruto know the Hokage well enough to know how busy he is? Why don't the teachers wish to assist him? Why exactly do the villagers view Naruto like they do? Why does Naruto ignore those looks, which Shino had observed readily enough while walking with the blond enigma, and instead put on a mask of happiness? Surely, Naruto wasn't blind to the looks or the cold emotion behind them.

None of these things made any logical sense and it only drove Shino to figure it out all the more. So wrapped up in his thoughts was he, that Shino barely stopped before he walked into someone. He looked up and found his father standing in front of him.

"Father."

"Shino." His father tilted his head as he looked back the way Shino had walked. They were both standing on the front porch of their house. "You arrived approximately five hours later than your regular arrival time. Your delay might have been caused by harm to your person, however I observe that your colonies are at peak capacity and you are physically unharmed. My conclusion, you were distracted by an event that was of greater importance than arriving home. This event must have been of personal nature otherwise I would have been informed of an event larger than that due to my rank and status. My conclusion, you are late because you were in the company of others."

"You are correct father," Shino said. He bowed a little. "Your logic is impeccable."

"Indeed, however, I also have one of my beetles upon your person at all times," Shibi said. He held up a finger as said beetle buzzed and flitted about before it landed on the outstretched digit. "He just told me everything."

Shino choked a little on his surprise. Of course, he knew that his father had a tracking insect upon him. He had one on his parents too. And now Naruto, Sakura, and Hinata had tracking insects on their person as well. What surprised him was that his father had concluded his activity based on two lines of inquiry at the same time, within seconds of his arrival. He'd not thought of that approach before and did not think he would be capable of such quick minded logical deduction at this point in his life. His father was truly a capable shinobi.

"Come," Shibi said. There was a noticeable tone of satisfaction laced into his voice. "Your mother would undoubtedly desire to learn of your new friends."

Shino silently followed his equally stoic father into their home. In his mind, he contemplated how he could go about applying this new information gathering technique to the problems that were confronting him now. Specifically, the problem of Uzumaki Naruto.

* * *

Hinata settled under the covers on her bed and closed her eyes. Arriving back at the Hyuuga clan compound was as underwhelming as it always was. The whole place was just a little _too_ quiet and everyone stared or avoided staring at her a little _too_ conspicuously. Her father had, thankfully, not inquired as to her whereabouts and had allowed her to retire for the evening.

And she needed her sleep. Tomorrow was a free day from the academy and "Team Awesome" was going to be doing their first training exercises. She really, _really_ doubted her abilities, but… Naruto believed in her. He really, truly did. So, she was going to try her hardest not to disappoint him. Even if deep down in the depths of her heart, she knew that she'd inevitably fail.

* * *

Sakura, so very full and so very happy, slumped into her bed and drifted away on clouds of fancy almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Naruto couldn't help but grin as he lay in bed, waiting for sleep to take him. The plan had actually worked. And he'd come up with it on his own too! This day would go down in history as the most awesome day ever!

" _Now comes the hard part. Actually keeping your promise is going to be more difficult than just saying you can do it. You've only got three months and two weeks left before you graduate._ "

"I know that!" Naruto scowled. Leave it to the voice in his head to pour cold water on his parade. "I know what I'm doing! I just gotta get really strong. It can't be that hard."

"…"

"Can it?"

" _You're starting on a path that contains many pitfalls. Rule two says I can't tell you what you don't already know, but I think you can at least sense that this road is going to be easier to say you'll follow than to actually walk it. And it isn't just you that has to get stronger now. You've effectively tied your new friends to your own destiny and now they must grow stronger faster too. Fortunately, there are more of you now._ "

"Wait… what? What do you mean they have to get super strong now? I thought only I was going to be that strong! How is it a good thing if there are more of us? Before it was just me getting stronger, but now we all do? That doesn't seem fair!"

" _Don't be so selfish. A Hokage is only as strong as the people he leads. If you only want to get stronger by yourself, then you'll never get very strong at all. The only way to become stronger faster, to become super strong, like I told you before, is if others help you. You don't live in a vacuum. And by getting help from others, you in turn must help them become stronger too. It's not just physical strength I'm talking about here._ "

"Wait…" Naruto yawned. All this thinking was hurting his head. "Why isn't it just physical strength? I train to become super strong and then I beat up all the bad guys. Isn't that what I've been doing the entire time I've been in the academy?"

" _Do you really think being a ninja means that you run around beating people up? If so, then you don't want to be a ninja, but a common thug who robs people and kills for fun._ "

"What!?" Naruto nearly jumped out of his bed. "I would never rob anyone or kill for fun! I'm not a _monster_! I'm not!"

" _That's good, because I wouldn't have been assigned to help you if you were. You want to become a ninja of Konohagakure. A ninja is not someone who runs around and beats people up. A ninja is more than a fighter. A ninja is a warrior who fights for his village and protects those precious to him. But he uses his fists_ _and_ _his head to do it._ "

"Oh yeah! Like the Fourth Hokage! He saved the village by killing the demon fox!" Naruto's exuberance burst forth in a wide grin. "So that means he's an awesome ninja! The best ever!"

" _The Fourth Hokage was known for being extremely intelligent. He used his head in that fight, not just his ability to fight the demon. From your memories, I see that the Fourth Hokage isn't the only one. The First and Second both did the same thing._ "

"They did?"

" _You should have paid attention in class more. You may not remember it while you're awake, but your subconscious seems to have recorded it. Iruka talked about it on the fifth day of classes in your first year. Anyway, I have no doubt that any ninja who becomes Hokage got there_ _ **not**_ _because they could beat people up, or because they were super strong, but because they were the best at protecting people with their power. They used their knowledge to apply power where it was most needed. Super strong people who only go around beating people up don't have that knowledge. When you're a ninja, knowledge is power. Remember that._ "

"Then… Then…" Naruto yawned again. "Then I gotta get super strong so that I can protect everyone! And smart too! And then I will… Protect everyone. With my own two hands, I'll… protect… everyone."

" _Sleep well, young Uzumaki. For a Kage's strength is two-fold. His own power and the power of those that serve him. There's a lot of work to do._ "

* * *

A/N: Already, Naruto's pool of friends grows. But how will he make them stronger alongside himself? Find out next chapter!

Please leave a review!

~I.K.A. Valian


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